clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Thirteen

New, comments

This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

The college football schedule was a little soft this week, but we were still able to mine some decent Meltdown material. Leading off we have Tennessee fans, whose dreams of playing the role of East spoiler went up in flames at home, finishing off with a controversial offside call on an onside kick. For some of them, Butch Jones is already out of honeymoon credit and star LB AJ Johnson didn't help matters getting himself suspended due to a sexual assault charge. Oh well, Vols, at least you have special music to play on third down. Next up we have Ole Miss, whose season started off with such promise before WAOM, "We Are Ole Miss," kicked in to wreck things. Third we have the USC fans who are experiencing some serious buyer's remorse over Steve Sarkisian after watching their team get destroyed by their bitter crosstown rivals. Last but not least, Nebraska fans were not happy to see the Huskers fumble the game away on the goal line while going in for the potential winning touchdown against Minnesota.

As always, the language in this post is horrible. If you are offended by vulgarity of any sort, you should visit some of our other features as this one will not be for you. You have been warned.

The curse is still upon us! The curse is forever! The curse is still upon us! Screw you phil for selling the vols soul to damnation!

Self Destruct mode; engage.

Who have we beat this yr... no one worth a crap... every time we play a good team we get exposed..geez

Toast Coleman burnt again and again, offense needs viagra

Honestly... was our Gameplan to kick a bunch of field goals to just set up the fake?

I hate national exposure for Tennessee bc all we do is let everyone down. Kill the damn exposure! Finebaum is right... Tennessee is a joke.

I hate seeing a bunch of suburban white people half heartedly waving their arms. You can tell by their facial expressions they know it's stupid too.

Thanks AJ for totally fucking the whole team and the fans with your wayward dick.

I don't give a freakin rip what anyone else posts on this thread for the rest of the night... if we don't start recruiting anything other than DBs and O lineman, Butch and his band of merry men should hit the same bricks they claim to be building with.... I'm all for losing, but our DBs are freaking flat embarrassing and have given up. Shameful.

Lol at everyone still thinking Vandy is an easy win.

We need more rap music on 3rd downs....its really starting to get GD embarrassing. AND FUCK! needing music to motivate team during the game on 3rd down.

Guys, be patient, this is a process. Butch just needs 7 more recruiting classes and 9 more years to take us to the perineal 8-4 team I know he can lead us to be!!

I really hope we can heal up before Vandy.
So many people will be on suicide watch if we lose to them and miss a bowl next week.

I'm gonna have to cry myself to sleep tonight!

Herbstreit is criticizing the hell. Out of Butch right now. And rightfully so. Our coach is a freaking idiot. Great recruiter. Terrible decision maker. And I truly mean terrible

who the heck allowed les miles to teach this coaching staff how to manage a clock

Serious question. People will blast me as a negavol ect. But like it or not... Hes not going to return us to prominence. Hes a great recruiter but a terrible tactician. And he's just one of these guys that scared to death of life. Like the guy in the highway that slams on his brakes in the middle of an intersection when the light turns yellow. I've been in the fence about him but I'm not anymore. We've lost almost every winable game he's coached in while here. The two he won (sc) both took miraculous comebacks that never should have been required. We were firmly in control of both games in the second half before getting conservative and trying to run out the clock. Last night we saw an example of a great coach. They got the ball off a to late in the game while leading and put their foot on our throats and won.

So two questions...Who's next and how much longer before we can afford to part with Butch?

It's like watching your dog die every Saturday.

Any future teams playing UT while this shithead is OC, take note:
1st: run up middle, no gain
2nd: throw horizontally down line of scrimmage, usually no gain, sometimes loss of 3-4
3rd: pass downfield to be dropped
4th: badass punt

This is the Tennessee offense I've come to know. Couldn't find their asshole if I drew them a map. They almost had me fooled.

Fuck tennessee, fuck butch, fuck everyone.

God Mark May is such a bitch

Our wide receivers don't exist.

This game has been double special...
... the special teams were special, and everybody else including the coaches and refs were special olympics special.

Hello darkness my old friend... It seems you've returned to rocky top again...

My heart hurts. Why must I be so emotionally invested in a team who is destined to let me down. Oh rocky top...

before you say we're still ahead of schedule...Go fuck yourself

Obviously the only reason Arkansas' OL has more depth than ours is because Austin Golson transfered. That set our depth back years. If it wasn't for him transferring Luke would have a solid dominant 2 deep OL. Also everyone knows it takes 5 years to get an offensive lineman like justin bell to lose any weight.

Fuck. It. All.

I'm about to start drinking pretty fucking heavily. The season is over, State is going to win, Bama will win the national championship, and if you pussies hang your hat on the fact that we beat the national champions, I'd advise you to hit the gas when you approach a curve.

Well fuck me sideways.

I think I'd rather watch the Hindenburg disaster than this game.

Someone really needs to hit Freeze over the head with a beer bottle and take over.

I expect a full fledged apology from both Freeze and Wallace from this game, preferably in front of a hundred Ole Miss fans with rotten vegetables.

Just knee it like LSU so we can hear about it for decades you mother fuckers

ole miss football players are a lot like atlanta drivers in the rain. Everyone loses their minds the second a few drops of water start falling from the sky. Its like we forgot how to play football just because everything is wet

I'm drinking wine, maybe it will make me feel better after this complete disaster.

Tony the damn Tiger plays better D than this in those damn commercials

BO WALLACE Could fuck up a 2 car funeral.

Badass Bo...has left the building. I'm sick of that motherfucker not protecting the goddamn ball. We look like SHIT!!!!

Are you effing kidding me. Gonna vomit.

What in the everlasting gobstopper of fuck do we do during bye weeks?

This is starting to look like...
Houston Fucking Nuttz is leading our team!! Bo Wallace is mindfucked, nobody can catch a goddamn 5 yard pass. Our offensive lineman are running AWAY from fuckers in their grill. WTF!!!

fuck everything. Fuck the offense in particular

Can't wait for the Birmingham Bowl.
WAOM, yeah, it fucking exists

pardon my French, but
WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!

this is horse and cow shit

man fuck everything. Fuck the defense and fuck Hugh's shitty ass play calling

Fucking pathetic
In all fucking ways . No fucking excuse for this ass beating .

Well,
this is REALLY going to muddy the waters of Bo's Heisman campaign

We can still make it to the playoffs if everybody dies.

We pissed, shit all over the bed and then fell on it

My satellite just went out
Thank God.

It was a loss to Arkansas that got Cutcliffe fired.
That team laid down and took it up the ass that season as well.

I'm 47 years old, and I've seen WAOM at its finest moments, and this is WAOM. A few short weeks ago, some of you tried to convince yourselves that it was dead and buried, but I knew better. That sneaky bastard knows exactly how, when, and where to cut you the deepest.

I wish O.J. Howard had caught the ball.
We'd have lost to Alabama, not spent all that money on new goal posts, shrugged at another WAOM season, and Katy Perry still would have stage-dived at Funky's.

The hell with this, I'm gonna go do shrooms in my backyard.

If we don't score here I think my new plan will be drink green label until I can understand lou hultz.

zebra dick in my ass

I can't even. Full white girl. Bring out the Jell-O shots.

I told my wife to pick up some powdered sugar while she is at the grocery store. I figure that if I'm going to put the shotgun barrel in my mouth it might as well taste good.

Jesus fucking christ. I want to cry. This is the worst shit. We look like absolute shit. Our offense is a joke. Our play calling is a joke. Our team is a big fucking joke.
This is what I never expected this season. This loss hurts. I love this team. I love my rebels. How we got where we are today, and showed this piss poor performance, is baffling to me.
I had such high hopes for this season, and our players have played so hard, and given Ole Miss fans a great season. But This game left a bitter taste in my mouth.
I had such high hopes.
I am going to bed.


My cat hates football.

This season has fucked my ass raw.

I dunno if you guys are getting the local commercials but ABC7 in Los Angeles is apparently asking people to share their gameday pics using the twitter hashtag #abceyewitnessnews which just seems really long and unwieldy and oh god i have drunk so much wine my face already hurts.

SC looks like a fucking joke right now. This is embarrassing.

Seven win Sark has his seven wins. We are doomed.

What a fucking meltdown. Christ.

I don't give a fuck about FCS schools, don't cut away from our beating like that.

This game was fucked early enough that I've already made it through all five stages of grief.

How the fuck is our O-line so shit? Block someone you useless fucks!

It'd be hilarious if sark gets fired on the bus ride home.

I don't know as UCLA necessarily owns LA at this point, but it's definitely at least one of those weird Craiglist rent to own deals.

Did anyone remember to blindfold our recruits?

Just shoot me!

Hide the women and children.

Pretty sure our entire team did a line of coke at halftime

Welcome to the next three years everyone.

We're pretty good against their 3rd team defense

Bring on the Irish for the loser bowl

We're going to need a proctologist to get their cleats out of our asses.

I'd honestly offer my GF's vagina to Sark if he resigns after the game.

I'm feelin' lower than quail shit in a wagon rut.

we are making a big slow white qb look like herschel walker

OMG that was so close to my death

Please Santa
For Christmas I would like for Pelini to fire these idiots plus a new qb Thank you

I want Charlie from the AT&T commercials to drown in an ocean of AIDS.

I'm going to go and hang some Christmas lights and maybe fall off the roof and break my arm or something

Yay,even the announcers saying to accept Mediocrity.

hey
it's basketball season!!!!!

21-3 point differential in the second half. Way to go coaching staff you fucktards

Well atleast we didnt give up 400 yrds to one person this weekend.

OH LOOK WHO SHOWED UP TO HAVE ANOTHER f'ing FALSE START. ALEX MOTHERFUCKING BEATSOMEONEUPFORNOFUCKINGREASON LEWIS

GET THIS FRAUD OUT OF LINCOLN. (CAPS LOCK ENGAGED)

How do you know your team sucks? When you root against them late in the season in hopes of a coaching change.

f#*k this coaching staff. They don't deserve to make the money they make. f#*k them. f#*k them. f#*k them. Bunch of incompetent f'ing morons who think they know everything despite being constantly outcoached every f'ing Saturday. The team masked the coaching deficiencies, not the other way around.

F**k Griese and his ilk--may that vermin burn in hell. Nebraska is not a 9 win only school, and you're a fraud of a NC winner.

I am so f'ing depressed, all I wanted for by f'ing birthday was to watch us get a W. At the half it looked like we were poised to take this and go for a 10-2 season at Iowa. Now the wheels have fallen off.

We need the proverbial Genesis Device to rebuild this football program

We should totally leave the Big Ten and join the MAC. We could still play Big Ten teams and have a legitimate chance at winning a conference championship again. I am so sick of losing. Sick of not winning championships, I would do anything to be able to say we are champions again.

Our national brand is tarnished, our name is irrelevant, and most people think our coach is a complete dick. Every embarrassing loss makes it that much harder for us to return to any sort of prominence.

something inside me died today. I became a total and true Husker Fan on Thanksgiving Day when JR broke his run and we beat Oklahoma in the Game of the Centenary. I have not wavered since. I have endured the losses. Many that ripped my heart from my chest but I never waivered because I believed in those that controlled the program. Davaney, those that succeeded him and TO. When TO retired my first response was 'Can we just pleze keep this going?' We didn't. Now I ask myself, "Can I maintain my passion for this era of Husker Football?

Nebraska sucks. Nebraska doesn't have any airports. It's cold here. Sometimes recruiting visits conflict with senior prom. The days of fielding nationally competitive football teams (a.k.a. the 1960s-2001) are lost and gone forever for any school that doesn't touch the ocean.

I'm getting excited guys, I think a loss today could trigger #CHANGE!

Yes we're clearly stupid for thinking we can be better than the team that can't beat Top 25 teams...fuck off ESPN.

god fucking damn it. run the ball. fuck you tim beck. fuck you hard.

Turns out 3 things in life are certain: Death, Taxes, and Nebraska losing 4 games.

Lowered Expectations! Cautious Enthusiasm! Go Big Red!