For our newest RBR members who may be asking themselves, "What in the world is a Hoodoo Thread?", please allow me to explain.
The Friday Hoodoo is our weekly attempt to curry favor with the Football Gods by admitting our moral, intellectual, and cultural shortcomings in a very public manner. In plain English, along with our Sweetheart submission, we tell embarrassing stories from our past in hope that Alabama gets a W.
How does one Hoodoo? Well..
1. Embarrassing Admission. This is the classic and most used sacrifice. We have all done some stupid things over the years and the internet is the perfect venue for spilling the beans.
2. Eat something horrible or disgusting. The gods love physical sacrifice and what better way to show your dedication then by eating something that may lead to a trip to the ER? (by reading this you absolve RBR and SBNation of any liability for medical expenses or death related to or caused by your hoodoo.)
3. A vow to the gods that you'll do something horrific. For instance a few of my offerings from 2012: Watch the twilight movies for a national title or take your wife to see Les Misérables for a win in the 2012 SEC Championship game. From 2013, a trip to Disney in place of watching the Iron Bowl.
For the 2014 season, instead of posting my own personal Hoodoo (I've been doing this so long I've effectively run out of embarrassing stories) I have instead decided to resurrect an RBR oldie- the Weekly Worry Index. For the RBR purist, fear not, the Hoodoo Thread is still alive and well and each member of the site (looking at you OWB) is encouraged to submit their stories and offerings like we've done these past seven years.
What is a Worry Index, you might ask?
Well, some of you may remember Todd's Bocephus Album Cover Worry Index from 2007, but for those of you who weren't around back in those days, let me explain how this works.
On a scale of 0, being supremely confident, and 10, LSU 2011 level stress, each week I will apply a Worry Index number to the opponent based on my confidence level of Alabama winning the game.
However, I won't be using a Bocephus Album cover, mainly because that's already been done before. In it's place, I opted for a little more gump and will use past, and yes present, Alabama coaches.
Why Alabama coaches? Outside of the obvious reasons, our past is rife with championships and traditions, but not all of the Tide's history invokes fond memories. There were times, some not too long ago, where Southern Miss posed quite the challenge, and few, if any, games on the schedule were guaranteed wins. There have also been plenty moments where the mere thought of a loss was nay impossible to comprehend.
And who are the coaches.....
The RBR Worry Index
Gnashing of teeth and tearing of sack cloth level worry. I.E. Absolute nightmare. Bourbon (if that's your thing), opiates, and pacing may be the only way to calm the nerves.
Worry Index Level: 10
Honk if you sacked Brodie comes to mind. These were some of the darkest times in Alabama football history but you had a least a shred of hope that Bama could rise from the ashes and pull out a win.
Worry Index Level: 7
Won some games, 26 in fact, handled the also rans, but you were never really confident in the outcome, especially against Auburn. Alabama will have to bring their A-game if they have any plans on notching an X in the win column.
Worry Index Level: 5
70-16 record with a national championship gives you a basis for confidence, but the impending NCAA infractions have you at least a little concerned.
Worry Index Level: 3
It's going to be a mauling, folks. It would take Alabama leaving the two deep on the bus (or in Tuscaloosa) to lose this game.
Worry Index Level: 1, but closer to 0, if I were to be completely honest.
West Virginia Worry Index Level: 4
While the Trey DePriest suspension shouldn't change the outcome of the game, it at least provides an added level of stress since we now have two first time starters at LB going up against an experienced HUNH offense. Not to mention how the last Alabama defense played against two hurry up offenses..
Oh yeah, there's that QB battle that is still unsettled and unknown commodities at guard and left tackle that could bring the offense to a starling halt if things go south.
The running game should be leaned on early and often to take the pressure off our quarterbacks and by all accounts the contest should be over by halftime, however there are plenty of reasons for hand-wringing and victory in this game is far from certain.
Without further ado..
Your 2014 RBR Sweetheart
For anyone who may question the final voting totals...
Roll Tide and beat everyone!