NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week One

Ah, another football season and with it another opportunity to point and laugh at those who take to the keyboard to vent their frustration over their beloved teams' shortcomings. Week one is typically tame in this regard as there are very few upsets and, let's face it, losing games in-conference tends to make the blood boil a bit hotter, but we were able to come up with a few nuggets from the two FBS schools in the state of South Carolina as well as Wisconsin. As usual, this post contains harsh language that is not suitable for work or small children. If you are easily offended point your browser elsewhere. You have been warned.

via cdn1.sbnation.com

South Carolina defense honoring former teammate Jadeveon Clowney by taking this one off.

Can we bring back the offseason?

Well guys, it's been a nice season, but time to pack it up.

2011-2013--The golden years!

I wish I was drunk right now

I just asked the magic 8ball if we win and it said outlook looks bleak

There is more to life than football. I think I've finally realized this after so many years.

I had some grocery store shopping to do today so I bought some wine. White Zin. I can't drink other wines as fast as I can drink White Zin so I figured if I needed it I could guzzle it.

Shaq Roland is a disgrace. He is a junior and the coaches obviously have NO confidence in him whatsoever.

Goodbye liver.

Our '15 recruiting class will start to drop out like flies....

Do they even tackle in practice or do they do "two fags in a pillow fight" drill?

We blow. The rest of the SEC is on notice for sure, they will gladly ass rape us until we end up begging to go to Memphis, if we get anything at all

Good news: Our deep ball is working. Bad News: We score quickly and have to play defense again.

Anyone know a good moving service that I can send to Ward's house? He doesn't need to be coaching peewee football after this shitshow.

Come on Dylan, night is young...plenty of time to overthrow some more receivers.

I am about to get wasted, it serves the soul.

Here is my problem.

1. I waited all summer... really looking forward to the start of this season.
2. Thursday was my birthday. I just knew I would be celebrating.
3. Got calls from at least 10 Clemson fans rubbing it in my face (saying by the aTm just scored again)
4. My business partner went to FSU. Now I will have to listen all season, as to how great they are.
5. Now what do I look forward to, Basketball Season?

I can see why our offensive line has looked so good, they practice against the worst dline in d-1 football.

They licked our Cocks.

If we're statistically the worst D in the SEC I'll buy a fucking houndstooth fedora.

Hello Darkness my old friend...
I've come to talk with you again...
Because A&M's Offense is leaping...
Down the field and now I'm weeping...
And the visions that were planted in my brain...
Still remain...
Of what was once, our defense...

And the superlative for "Most likely to blitz at the wrong time" goes to....LORENZO BROWN

Not enough alcohol in the world to get rid of this memory. We can only hope that someone ranked higher than us gets blown out.

it feels like I waited all year for Christmas, went down to the tree, and both my parents punched me in the mouth

via stream1.gifsoup.com

The state of South Carolina respectfully withdraws from Playoff contention

For sale; One Special Team; Never Used

I would say "can they just put in their fucking 5th string RB to stop embarassing us"
But their 5th string RB is.. like.. fucking really good as well, man

Bruno Mars really fucked up that field goal.

I think Clemsons coordinators are just pressing the "ask the coach" button during play calling.

If Dabo has been calling plays we need to take the play book away and give him a coloring book and some crayons.

UGA should just start handing off to random defensive players, see what happens

Good news everyone! I found vodka in the freezer, we'll be alright for the second half.

Uncle, uncle. Christ, this is humiliating.

I like them new running back jet packs.

I'm glad the state of South Carolina could make the case for a couple of early Heisman frontrunners

You guys, I've drank my entire gallon of beer. I'm sorry if my comment quality goes downhill

Offensive line looks like they've given the fuck up

If I wasnt with people id be crying

How about a god damn hold you flag happy fucks

I feel like you have to be fucking terrifying to survive middle school and high school with the name Chubb

I wish I could get drunk. I'm only 18 fuck you Dabo for giving me hope. I'm pissed off fuck that kicker fuck Cole Stoudt.

Fire Dabo. He is a joke

!!!MUST READ!!!

How is Morris gonna compliment Watson on changing the play through making big boy checks and changing his protections on that drive to throw an nlf ish td pass
& THEN BENCH THE MUTHER F##### FOR NO REASON and then the RBs are sorry as f###....I mean we used to have JAMES DAVIS CJ ANDRE...BTW Soni Michell wanted to come to Clemson and we dropped his scholarship cause he has a knee injury. How, did we miss on Mike Davis as well, I say to the #### with all those guys and run that big tight end McCullough I think he could pound some skulls in. The play calls on Offense were so retarded it seemed like we threw the game for money or something...I mean I was like wha..... where's Mike WIlliams , Artavous Scott, Charone Peake....They were making play's but Scott and peak got taken out of the game.....PLAY THE #### FIVE STAR PLAYERS>>>F### THE FORMER BACKUPS....FSU GAVE THE TEAM TO WINSTON AND TRICKET LEFT......NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP! GET A #### RUNNING BACK THAT DOESN'T"T RUN LIKE HE"S STIFF AND 45 YEARS OLD.....Gallaman looked good when he ran the ball twice.........the rest of the time he was flared out or lead blocking for this "amazing RB" Called Cole Stoudt.... this was non-sense and I think the staff should here about it.... It's foolish life isn't fair if your not the best your a backup for a reason!

Watch the game again and it is obvious that the SEC is going to be protected. Our team played within the rules and kept their heads on straight when it was so evident the game was called for Georgia by the officiating. Vic had no sacks? Being held and chop blocked the entire game makes any running back look like a superstar. I just can't blame our coaches or team for intangibles like officiating. Anytime a Sec team plays on a neutral or out of conference venue they typically loose. Wonder why?

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...Sports can go fuck itself.

There's the game. Can we fucking put Stave in now? Jesus Christ.

FUCK ME FUCK THIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Can we stop throwing it deep to the ghost of Abberderis?

Hey Wisconsin fans, remember when the Packers were down several touchdowns against the Cowboys and the Cowboys stopped running the ball and lost the game. THOSE GUYS WERE FUCKING GENIUSES COMPARED TO THE BADGERS OFFENSIVE COACHES!

Nothing like losing your chance at the stupid new CFB Playoff thing howeverthefuckitworks after the first weekend.
Wish we just played Eastern Alaska Technical College or some shit.

FUCK OUR COACHES. FUCK THEIR FUCKING BULLSHIT.
WE HAD THE TALENT TO FUCKING OWN THIS GAME AND -THEY- PISSED IT AWAY.
Fuck our players deserve so much better.

Anderson says he doesn't know why Gordon only got 3 carries the 2nd half, so in one game our head coach has lost all control of his team, WELL THAT'S JUST FUCKING PERFECT!

Halftime discussion: I feel as though our new kicker needs a cool nickname. I thought a Taco Bell-themed nickname would be funny but I've been made aware Mexicans and Brazilians actually aren't the same thing

Seriously, that coaching and that quarterback play is fucking pathetic. And announcers, quit fucking blaming our wr's. It's not their fault our QB is a bucket of shit

Tanner McEvoy can scramble like a greased up deaf guy (for a half.) but he throws like a blind guy.

A heisman candidate runningback? FUCK THAT WE LOB THIS SHIT UP

Don't let these fuckers come back to Madison, don't deserve it.

Secondary needs to get the shit beaten out of them, fucking pathetic.
Jesus fuck. Take McEvoy out, he's trash

There needs to be a public execution of this QB with Stave dropping the guillotine and Gordon carrying the basket.

Next year it's Alabama (dear god), then LSU again.

This was one of the stupidest displays of coaching I've ever seen. We have Melvin God Damn Gordon and a three possession lead in the second half, but fuck it let's throw the ball with a subpar quarterback and no truly threatening receivers. That makes sense.

That's all we'll ever be: a great challenge. I'll be drinking in the corner. Alone.

I think I know why they don't allow the sale of alcohol past 9pm in Wisconsin now. Everyone would die.

Hey Bama can we have Lane Kiffin? I mean for McEvoy bubble screens are easier to complete than what Ludwig is giving him.

Fuck me. We played pretty well considering we got absoultely fucking nothing from the qb position and our best player touched the ball 3 times in the 2nd half. do we really not have anyone who can fucking throw the ball more than five yards accurately because that was horseshit. How the fuck could that collapse happen it was like everyone got discouraged and stopped fucking trying including the play callers god damn it

Alvarez better march the whole of the coaching staff into his office, fire at least some of them, and make the lot of them apologize to the players.

This is a stupid sport.