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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Four

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This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

I feel you, Coach.
I feel you, Coach.
Kevin C. Cox

Week four of the Meltdown has a decidedly southern flavor to it as we feature the sad and angry fans of Clemson, LSU, and Florida. As always, the language below is in no way suited for work or small children. Grab yourself a slice of pecan pie, pour a nice tall glass of sweet iced tea, and read on at your own risk.

Dabo_fearless_zpsef163a80_medium

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The forward pass was introduced into college football in the early 1900's right?

Football rule question...Are you allowed to bench a coordinator?

I hate my life. I should have just went to GA State.

CLEMSONING IT AWAY AGAIN Unbelievable fucking up loses the game.

Was it just my imagination Or did this end up being the "Jameis Winston Show" after all?

"We know how to win" - Jimbo Fisher

WRONG! Clemson knows how to lose! Nobody does it like us! Yeeee haaawwwww!!!!

GET UNDER THE FUCKING CENTER AND GO FORWARD ONE YARD

DONT SNAP IT BACKWARDS 7 YARDS AND THEN HAVE TO RUN IT FORWARD

Well shit. Send in the clowns.

As far as I'm concerned this is a losing season

We play 3 real teams and a bunch of fucking scurbs. We are 1-3 at best.

How is this even fucking possible. We killed them. No one else loses this way. Fuck Chad Morris. Fuck our special teams. I hate being a Clemson fan.

Ammon Lakip. Why in the fuck do you have that zero out there? Did we not learn our lesson at Georgia? That cull couldn't hit water if he fell out a fuckin' boat. We have a guy that set an ACC record for distance sitting on the bench. If I see Lakip kick another football I will mail him and Dabo a dookie.

I'm going to go curl back up into a state of comatose.

Can Dabo please find a reason to suspend Lakip? His behavior (performance) is detrimental to the team.

Are you a coach that isn't scared to get your players hyped up? Do you call plays that give your players a fighting chance? Can you recruit a kicker that doesn't belong at north Greenville university as a backup? If you answered yes to all of the above the Clemson tigers need you!! Great pay, flexible hours, and the best talent in college football are just some of the perks of the job. You are required to win football games with said talent.

Please apply today!!

Thank god there are no bridges or cliffs near me.

Fuck this team so much, eternal chokers

I want to say fuck you but i think I'm so numb it doesn't even hurt anymore. Mother fucker.

My fucking grandma with arthritis could have made those FGs. For fuck's sake. Do I never get to be a happy Clemson fan. Fucking done.

Fucking fuck fuck shit fuck damn. That game shouldn't have been close. Cole Stoudt throws a ball to the feet of a wide open TE. We run hurry up after a play where a player is in the endzone and dont give them time to review. Both of those drives ended in 0 points. Mothershit dicks.

Zebras have their marching orders....Clemson will be called for fictional facemask penalties and FSU will be allowed to hold all god damn game. No fucking point in watching this bull shit. ACC trying to protect their best shot at a playoff seed.

They seriously should never let that piece of shit kick again

They fucked us right in the pussy

Lsudance_medium

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WHY IN THE FUCK DO WE ONLY HAVE 211 YARDS TO START THE FOURTH QUARTER???fUCK THIS, THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA AT FUCKING BIRMINGHAM GOT (let me look) 435 FUCKING YARDS.OUR OFFENSE IS WORSE THAN THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA AT FUCKING BIRMINGHAM

fuck the son of a bitching center

CAN SOMEONE SAY COCK BOWL?

Clearly our plan is to suck their dicks and hope they blow their load in the first quarter. Then we'll beat them when they fall asleep.

I'm in tiger stadium, and I look over and it's litterally baby Jesus. Baby Jesus is in Tiger Stadium right now. I just asked him, glorious little baby Jesus why are you doing this? Then baby Jesus pissed in my face and laughed. What in the royal fuck is going on.

Hahahahahahahah murder me in the face

I'm pounding nails in my dick just to make the pain go away.

Last time I felt this embarrassed as an LSU fan was 1/9

I don't understand why Harris has not played......oh wait because les fuking miles is the coach that's why

Quick turnover would be nice. Or you know, just fucking tackle.

Miles is so full of shit with his bullshit preparation

Miles is the Dumbest Coach Ever

He is laughing stock of the SEC

I know Players who played for Saban And Miles and Said Miles was A Joke!!!

I never liked the bafoon as a good gameday coach. He proved that tonight. The above quote especially when you have a MSU team with an awesome DL and a secondary who gave up 400 yards to UAB

I wish Jennings would scream fuck her right in the pussy in the Union Monday

Miles has some real gaps in his coaching intelligence quotient. They are inexplicable. The game plan was nothing short of completely retarded.

I say it is time to launch the Brandon Harris era at LSU. Hey, maybe they can beat 'Bama....nah.

I don't even want to think what Bama will to us... we gonna get jailsexed.

Jennifer Garner would have to get Africa nekkid in order to pull me out of the funk I'm in.

I thought it after 1/9, I felt it after Ole Miss last year, and finally realized it last night. I have a bad feeling we are about to fall far and fast. It saddens me but I just don't think the man in charge is proactive enough to change things before it's too late.

Miles is now in the twilight of his career here at LSU. The next 5-7 years will be a slow, Fulmeresque decline although not as precipitous. As Miles gets older and LSU's fortunes erode, he will not be considered an attractive coaching candidate for another school. The dynamics of the SEC and especially the West have changed. We had a good 15 year run.

I love my alma mater and have been a season ticket holder since '95 but I don't stick my head in the sand. Les is at the end of his run and the dynamics of the conference are changing and he's not changing with them. He will never win another championship of any kind here.

get the fuck off an internet message board created for college football if you don't want to see me complain about my college football team, jackass

1/9 was the harbinger.

Ole Miss last year and State this year with more to come are symptoms of it.

Used to think it was total BS.

But yeah, LSU is in decline. It's obvious to anyone looking objectively at the product on the field. But we did have some good teams and great games. It was a great time to be a Louisiana football fan. We had two national titles and a Super bowl win in that ten year stretch.

a blind monkey can go 7-5 regular season with this talent and facilities and assistants. if miles does worse....well do the math

fuck this FUCk this duck fuck fuck

Jennings needs a straw so he can suck more ass

Goddamnit. Where's the rest of the alcohol.

Why does God torment me so?

Thank god Im drunk Can't feel anything. Highly recommend!

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This is a bad football program And im convinced anyone arguing this point is delusional as hell and probably needs as much psychiatric help as I do

Still waiting for a Bama OL holding penalty.

So Derrick Henry is just going to run over us the rest of the game right

i wish you the worst muschamp

We might as well walk off the field on 3rd down.

Amateur hour

I hate myself for this...

But at what point do i just concede defeat and hope for a coaching change?

Ron fucking Zook would win this god damn game

Get fucked Muschamp

The only thing that can help me

is for me to stop watching florida play football. thats honestly the only fix to this saturday problem. not easy though, i enjoy punishing myself and watching a really bad team play football

We are to Alabama as Kentucky is to us.

Look, Jeff

The NFL isn't happening. You've signed with the Red Sox. Make some money when the season's over.

there ya go Jeff, put on the headset so the coaches can tell you how bad you suck.

sims is so accurate it makes me sick

Four years into this Crapfest know as the Muschamp era and we have no offense and no defense. How much more does Foley need to see.

Florida receivers are so surprised when Driskel throws an accurate ball they don't even know what to do.

You know what the kicker is. Muschamp is going to throw the defense under the fucking bus. Every time it's the defenses fault. Well I've got news for you chump, it's your fault. You're the head coach and you have destroyed this program. You are stealing from the university every time you cash your paycheck you pathetic excuse for a coach. You filthy leg humper, get the hell out of Gainesville get the hell out of florida get the hell out of the south you are a god damn embarrassment.

I cant believe there exists shit heads who defend Jeff Driskel

What is this garbage? You have arguably the best corner in football and you're afraid to line him up over Cooper no matter where he is lining up? Are you fucking serious with this shit right now?

Eat a fucking bullet Muschamp

I hope something happens and jeff doesn't make it back to gainesville.

FUCK that Alabama chant.

That shit is annoying.

rammer jammer fuck alabammer.

Could these idiot announcers be anymore of Alabama homers?

Fuck Muschamp. Fuck Driskel. He tied himself to that waste of a human life they call a QB. They both can go. They are a cancer to Florida Football.

Cooper has punched VH3 in the face and shit on his chest in this game. LOL best corner in the country my ass.

"I don't recall a game where I have seen 6 turnovers result in 6 tounchdowns"

Including this one, asshole?

Donaldson literally cheering for Bama. Fucker might as well have a Bama booster pin on.

Fuck everyone who keeps saying HUR DUR FLORIDA IS MUCH IMPROVED THIS YEAR" Fuck off, no theyre not. The Kentucky game proved that

Jeff Driskel I want to cut the brake lines on your fucking scooter.

Fowler sucking dick today

mfw I'm the only person sober in the thread WHEN I NEED A DRINK THE WORST OF ALL