The SEC is the supreme power of the land when it comes to college football with Alabama being the crown jewel over the last couple years. As such, like most of the elite class, it is our job to revel at the misery of others less fortunate than us. In particular, the demise of the Big 10 on Saturday was pretty hysterical. So David and I decided to write a song to the tune of the great "American Pie" by Don McLean signifying the death of the Big 10's playoff hopes. Enjoy everyone.
A long long time ago
I can still remember how the trophies used to make me smile.
And I knew if Urban had his chance
That he could make the SEC wet its pants
And maybe we'd be relevant for a while
But September 6 made me shiver
None of our teams could deliver
Bad news from South Bend on the doorstep
Hope the basketball teams have started prep
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about how the Spartans failed but tried
It really hurt me me deep inside
The day our playoff hopes died
Say bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
Singing this will be the day our hopes died
This will be the day our hopes died
When it comes to push and shove
Will the committee ignore the scores above
There's only one loss for Mark Dantonio
Now do you believe in winning the Rose Bowl?
Can Bo Pelini save us from the trolls?
And can Gary Andersen teach his qbs how to throw?
The season's future may be pretty dim
Odds are the SEC gets two teams in
Urban eats cold pizza under the horseshoe
Florida fans must be highly amused.
Brady Hoke packs his bags in the truck
They paid him too much and wow, he sucks
And how do spartans lose to ducks?
The day our playoff hopes died.
I started singin' bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
Singing this will be the day our hopes died
This will be the day our hopes died
Now for ten years we still haven't won
there used to be trophies but now there's none
but that's not how it used to be
When Tressel played for the crystal gleam
With a good QB and his suffocating scheme
And a freshman runner, who led the team.
And while Tressel was looking down
The players sold their stuff in town
All for some tattoos
The program was in ruins
And while Abdullah squeezed Nebraska through
Northwestern's offense was singing a different tune
And Pat Fitzgerald cursed all afternoon
The day our playoff hopes died
We were singin' bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
Singing this will be the day our hopes died
This will be the day our hopes died
My best teams falter so I take shelter
It was close in Houston in the opener
Coach Miles was losing and the clock ticked fast
Gary choked it away as Les ate grass
McAvoy tried and failed on every pass
Melvin sat on the sidelines leaving me aghast
Things will get better next week I assumed
While the football gods sang a different tune
I just wanted a team in the big dance
But without Braxton there was no chance
Purdue lost to the MAC, it can't be concealed
It doesn't matter though, our fate is sealed
Not sure how Iowa won, but the truth's been revealed
The day our playoff hopes died
We starting singin' bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
Singing this will be the day our hopes died
This will be the day our hopes died
Hoke led Big Blue to play Notre Dame
Let's fight the Irish for one final game
Remind them that they are chickens
So come on, Devin be nimble, Devin be quick,
Oh no he just threw another pick,
I wish Tom Brady was our qb again
As Hoke was "coaching" on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No Bret Bielema loss could quell
How far the once mighty Big 10 fell
And as this dumpster burned through the night
And the country laughed in hate and spite
I saw Saban laughing with delight
The day our playoff hopes died
He was singin' bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
Singing this will be the day our hopes died
This will be the day our hopes died
Now Desmond cries for the maize and blue
Finebaum laughs it up, so does Dr. Lou
Mark May smiled, I turned away
I dreamed I was at the sacred door
At the hall of fame, full of players years before
Damn, oh my, these were the good old days
Fans from Columbus, Ann Arbor, East Lansing screamed
These disastrous losses no one ever dreamed
Even Penn State struggled with Akron
The conference was all but broken
And the three men I admire most
Joe Pa's, Woody's and Bo Schembechler's ghosts
They cried from above as Bear Bryant boasts
The day our playoff hopes died
They were singin' bye bye to your irrelevant pride
Not the Buckeyes nor the Spartans could win tonight
And good ol' Delaney sipped some whiskey and sighed
And Singin' "this will be the day our hopes died"