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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Six

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Another edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back to another week of Meltdown Time, everyone. This Saturday brought us several near upsets that didn't quite come to fruition, but we were still able to mine some good quality content for you. For the first time this season, no SEC teams are featured. Arkansas was a candidate, but the Hog fans have seemingly come to terms with their season at this point. Georgia blew a 21-point lead in Knoxville, but they also lost their best player in gruesome fashion on the first play of the game. Something felt wrong about picking on them.

Nebraska fans lead off this week after losing their fourth game of the season. This one came on a last-second field goal by the rotund kicker from Wisconsin, just a couple of minutes after he had missed a kick and the Husker offense failed to run out the clock. New head coach Mike Riley doesn't seem to be getting a honeymoon period, and AD Shawn Eichorst is catching heat for choosing him. Next up we have USC fans who were on the #FireSark train even before he showed up to work drunk and subsequently checked himself into rehab. Losing to the Washington Huskies is something the Trojans will simply never be able to wrap their heads around.

Last but not least, the Red River Rivalry went down in Dallas on Saturday, and Oklahoma's undefeated season went down with it. Many of the Sooners have had their fill of Bob Stoops and his brother Mike at this point.They are one of the few fan bases out there who can rival the ‘Horns for pure vulgarity. To that end, if you are offended by horrible language then you should read no further. You have been warned.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN

Goddamnit I hate football.

I no longer feel pain.

This is fucking comical man, this is like a fucking comedy. You couldn't make this up, if it was a movie you say bullshit, no way.

I'm done for the day. Gonna light a fire pit in the backyard, possibly drink some whiskey, and wonder how i have angered god, to deserve this.

This is getting old. I wish I could stop caring about this shit, but I'm also cursed. We suck and we deserve to be 2-4. This coaching staff is horrible and we just wasted a redshirt. I hope all these recruits that visited see how fucking garbage these coaches are and I hope they switch their commitment.

medical advice
Anyone have an idea how to remove a fork stuck in my left eye P:EASE!!!


Somebody out there has hired a gypsy to curse this team
I swear to you all I will make it my personal mission to hunt down this gypsy and kill them. Upon doing so I will then carve out the gypsy's heart, burn it with the customary ritual herbs and scatter the ashes around Memorial Stadium. It's the only way.

Going to get shit faced drunk

We are 2-4.
Remind me again, why did we hire this loser?
Fuck you, Shawn Eichorst.

I am just stunned into stillness.
I was going crazy waiting for this season to start. Everything seemed set to go well. I guess the only way to survive the rest of this season is to set the expectations really, really low. Maybe that will lessen the pain. Probably not. Shit.

The Bo haters wanted an end to 9-3 seasons
and Riley sure has delivered. Thank you, Mike Riley, for giving us all the change we so desperately wanted. And don't worry about competing for championships, you still have time. I mean, you're only 62. You'll grow into this head coaching thing. It's not like you've been doing it for very long.

We don't have the skill at corner to play quarters coverage
I'm gonna go watch "Bridges of Madison County" and cry it out with my dogs.

We are truely F'd n not by the home coming queen but the home coming king...

Look at Michigan. Look at Michigan. look at Michigan. PAY A COACH.

Fire these cocksuckers this is an embarrassment

Gotta love how all of the sunshine pumpers have yet to show up and try and defend this shitshow. Their acceptance of incompetence and mediocrity is just as toxic to the program as these coaches are.

I hate this fat ass kicker

The football Gods are about to take a dump on our heads again.

Is it possible Langsdorf is intentionally calling the most vanilla running plays in the history of football so he can justify throwing it all over the yard? Langsdorf loves the pass so much he would call on an armless QB to throw.

Heads need to roll

Mike riley is a loser

fuck YOU, MIKE RILEY!!!
fuck YOU, LANGSDORF!!!
fuck YOU, MARK BANKER!!!!
fuck YOU, SECONDARY COACH WHOSE NAME I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO LEARN!!!!

The three stages of program decline:
1) Hey! We beat Nebraska! 2) Yeah, we beat Nebraska. 3) I feel really sorry for Nebraska.
We have officially arrived at #3.

i hate my fucking life.

Best four loss team in the country

I'm getting off Mike Riley's wild ride today. See y'all later.

Brb slowly descending into madness and alcoholism

Get the fuck out of Nebraska, Riley. Fuck you and your inability to use the clock properly.


#WeAreSC

Sark reviewing Washington tape "This offense looked much better when I was drunk"

Since we fired Kiffin at the airport we better fire Sark outside the Coliseum

Well I'm done watching college football. Great season guys, see you next year.

MY SEATBELTS ARE BUCKLED FOR A 6 WIN SEASON

IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I'LL BE VENTING MY FRUSTRATION PLAYING THE STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT BETA.

haven't been active in the thread. Just came to say what the fuck

At this point the opportunity costs of rooting for SC are greater than the opportunity costs of rooting against Sark. Therefore the most rational thing to do is hope to lose out.
The Kiffin Equilibrium has been reached.

Not even kidding, does ESPN watch old porn and say, "Hey, that sounds like good music!"

joke lost. joke season.
#firesark

Good. Sarkisian deserves to get fired.
He should've been fired after his embarrassing outburst at the banquet a few weeks back.
And you know what's the most offensive thing about his drunken rant? Not that he was drunk. But that he talked all that s*** and can't back any of it up! That's what's embarrassing. Talking about "beating this team, dominating that team." S***. Sarkisian is awful. Just like Lane Kiffin was awful. Just like Pat Haden is awful.
All that talent, and lose to Washington at home. Wow. I wish they fired that sorry POS tonight, like they did Kiffin before he got on the bus.
Haden can kiss my a**, too. "We're gonna do things the right way" my ass.

Is Kiffin in the booth calling the plays????

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....UW fans elated....Sark sucks.
honestly, I'm done with this coaching staff. As SCOldtimer says, They've taken lemonade and turned it into lemons.

I'm tired of same old bullshit. This coaching staff needs a big shakeup hell this team need a more serious coach instead of a bunch frat boys

After a bad loss you hear disappointed fans say "I could have called better plays tonight" and chuckle.

Tonight I truly believe almost everyone on this board could have called a better plays.

Kessler is and will always be a midget killer. He cannot win a big game.

I'm gonna go soak my head for about an hour guys.

It all stems from bend over and grab your ankles Haden, We should have hired a big balls AD. Instead we picked a wishy washy politician/egghead. We SHOULD have sued the NCAA. We SHOULD have went for the big hire instead of PC's hanger ons. We SHOULD have told the Pac12 to stuff these mid week games up their butts and leave them for the ACC and mid-majors.

I wonder what Chip Kelly is doing next year?

Kessler is shit

So the end begins . . .
And the life support clicks on . . . and the deathbed watch begins . . . the 49ers and Kaepernick could use a QB coach . . . easy commuter flight from LA to SF . . .

BOOMER

Unbelievable. Fuck this shit. Same shit, different season.
Another shitty performance against a shitty tx team.

Fucking bitches all of them.

Texas needed to win this game to save themselves and OU is going to let them without a fight apparently. I am super sad about how we look so very unprepared, as if we walked around the fair eating fried food all week. Watching us tumble from #10 to number #22 in the rankings will be fun too. I don't have enough alcohol for this.

I'm not even mad. I've expected this all year and pretty much every year for at least 5 years now. The only shocking thing is that instead of doing this bs against a good team we always do it against texass. Prices go up but the terrible coaching and performances stay the same. Welcome to the new OU Football.

My dick went soft.

OU is bigger than stoops. His time is past. GTFO.

We should take donations and get a plane to fly FIRE BOB STOOPS over the field next week.

I may or may not have tweeted the entirety of a Salt & Peppa song. Totally checked out. Fuck me.

Meltdown thread? We don't need a fuckimg meltdown thread.
We need a fucking dumpster fire thread.
Shit ain't melting, it's ablaze, 5 alarm fucking flames halfway to the fucking moon. Nothing but ashes soon.
A once proud program just got bullied for,the 3rd straight year by a shitty Texas team that can't win half their fucking games.
Baylor and TCU laugh when they see OU on their schedule these days. These guys used to curl into a ball at the mere sound of Oklahoma. Now they laugh. They know exactly what we plan to do because nothing ever changes.....nothing but the dumpster flames getting higher and higher. FUCK you Mike Stoops.

I have been holding out hope for a long time that Stoops would return to form but then I stopped and realized that we have become Georgia. Every year we get our hopes up that we are going to turn the corner and every year we lose a game we have no business losing. I have no idea what direction we should go from here but it seems that we need a new direction. Change is scary and I hate that it has come to this but fuck it, lets burn this bitch down.

Someone took a shit in the sink in the men's restroom at section 102. I'm not making a joke. There was literally a shit in the sink. Whoever that guy was, he was more successful against the run than OU was today.

I mean, we're a fumbled kickoff and a decent O-line away from...fuck it. Fire everyone. The booze is kicking in.

Fuck this oline gotdamnit-i hope the excuse is "they're young".
Texas wasn't even doing anything crazy-blitz wise....Samaje missed a couple key bliocks that led to some sacks, the oline missed the whole fucking day, and why the fuck are we going side to side with Perine and running Mixon up the middle? FUCK.

Harbaugh has that shitshow in Michigan completely turned around in 5 games. They're ballin' out, and we're still pumping sunshine here about the 6 year long ongoing shitshow in Norman. LMAO!!!

ESPN scroll just said OU allowed 165 yards after contact.
That's a fucking crime.

Sanchez- Can't tackle, loves to push runners out of bounds. Holds nearly every time in coverage.
A. Thomas- Slowest DB I've ever seen. I'd love to see his 40 time.
Byrd- Completely lost on the field. Has no clue on taking angles.
Alexander- Poorest technique I've ever seen at LB. turns and runs down the line of scrimmage instead of staying square. Runs himself out of plays and can't tackle in space.
Evans- to small to play LB. Cant shed blockers for shiiit.
Tapper- Completely useless.
Romar- has no business starting. Says more about our depth at DT than anything else.
Dimon- MIA. Can play an entire game without making a tackle.

The alcohol isn't numbing the pain, although I can't feel my face.

Riley seems clueless. In his defense maybe he's shellshocked that his OL is a bunch of pussies.

I have never called for Stoops' head. But this shit is retarded. I tried to record the game, but something fucked up in my system. I'd like to show the play where the TX D-lineman just ran right through the OU line like butter as if they were allowing it to happen- as if they wanted it to happen. Makes me sick. Anyway, Stoops better fucking come back from vacation because this shit won't resolve itself without bail or a complete rehab.

Well I think I will go cry myself to sleep, mostly over the amount of carbs I consumed today and how much I hate soft D.

drags Fire Stoops t-shirt out of the closet
It's been awhile since I've seen you.

It's like you meet your dream girl, and she's a 10 who's really funny and amazing. Then she only scores 3 points in the 1st half against Tx.

THIS TEAM IS A FUCKING PRISON! ON PLANET BULLSHIT!!! IN THE GALAXY OF THIS SUCKS CAMEL DICKS!!!!!

American horror story: Bob stoops edition.
Starring mike stoops as the gimp.

Fuck this coaching staff right in the pussy.