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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Seven

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This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Welcome back to Meltdown Time, folks. Week seven offered up some solid material as the Ole Miss Rebels went down in flames to the Memphis Tigers, the Texas A&M Aggies lost their first game of the season to our beloved Alabama Crimson Tide, and the Michigan Wolverines had knocked off the unbeaten Michigan State Spartans... until they didn't.

The Ole Miss fans seem particularly perturbed with offensive line coach Matt Luke, but some are starting to turn on head coach Hugh Freeze. The Lord has clearly forsaken Hugh after blessing him so against Alabama. Texas A&M fans are salty at offensive coordinator Jake Spavital's play calling, and they also remind us that Battered Aggie Syndrome (BAS) is a thing that exists on these here interwebs. Some are turning on QB Kyle Allen as well. Lastly, Michigan fans are understandably excited with the direction of their program under Jim Harbaugh. Everything was going well until that play: that beautiful, unfathomable play of an ilk that exists only in the world of college football. If you have been on Mars for the past few days, you can watch it at the third gif below. We feel you, Michigan fans. Trust us, we feel you. That said, sending death threats to the punter is bad form. Really bad.

We brought the poll back for you this week so that you can tell us which tortured souls won the Meltdown. As always, the language in this post is horrible. If you are easily offended I highly recommend that you read no further. You have been warned.

Rebel Black Bears

oh my fucking penis what is this stupid playcalling
we ain't gonna beat any SEC teams with that dogshit

Hugh freeze is a fucking idiot
Kick the fucking field goal. He makes the dumbest fucking play choices sometimes I mean these fucking ass hats can't stop the pass so why the fuck do you not throw the ball in the redzone

WE FUCKING SUCK!!!!
Bring on the NCAA! Let's get fucked right!

RBR and SBNation are probably here gathering shit for their schadenfreude threads and that GODDAMN RACIST POST is still up.

Landsharks? More like land shits...
Amarite?

We will lose
this team has given up. Like a flaccid dick. They can't come back from this

At what time on the clock do I say fuck it and put on Netflix?

Welp.
Guess I will go mow the yard now.

Guys
We are gonna get straight bufued by A&m.

Hell if I was Tunsil I'd say "fuck it...I'm out."
"Good luck against the Aggies and everyone else, I'm staying healthy and getting my NFL cheddar."
Someone needs to be canned NOW, not the end of the season.

Guess the good news is that this doesn't hurt our chances to win the west?
Right? Anyone?
Man, I just don't know how I feel about Freeze right now. Seems like the last two years we are losing games where the gameplan is just fucked(LSU), the team just doesn't show up(Arkansas), or just some really baffling in game decisions are made(Memphis). I like how we recruit, I like that we seem to get a lot out of guys when they get to campus. Not counting Oline of course. I don't get why that keeps happening. Is Freeze a less crazy, more godly Houston Nutt? Is he still new enough on his coaching path that he is willing to change to get better or is this where we are at?
I didn't expect us to make the playoff this year. Clearly the defense was always going to miss all the guys we lost. But I did think with a hopefully better line and added weapons that maybe the offense would be better. When we beat Bama I really thought we were in the driver's seat to win the west and go to Atlanta. That would have been enough to keep me happy for a while. Winning in Atlanta would have been a dream.
Idk, fuck it.

FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKER WE FUCKING SUCK ASS. WE CAN NEVER HAVE ANYTHING NICE. BYE BYE PLAYOFF HOPES. HELLO DARKNESS MY ONLY FRIEND...

At least now I can tell my girlfriend I'm not going to the pumpkin patch with her. Who cares if she's mad? I'm empty inside. I'll drink my last beer and just stare out the window the rest of the weekend.
EDIT: Update. She just told me she ate too many chocolate croissants this morning and is now having diarrhea. What a Saturday.

We need to hire someone whose sole responsibility is to listen to the play Hugh Freeze wants to call and either okay it or say "hey, that's a stupid fucking play, try again."

Ole miss is far from the best sec west team. We had a fluke win over bama, as much as I've wanted to believe we were the real deal. It's like our team hates everybody else on the team.
Edit: drunken nonsense

I hate everything this is the worst my life is pain

Kendarious Webster, worst player in the ncaa?

chicken shit play calling plus terrible defense. This is bad.
Formula for beating ole miss: have a decent QB and you can beat us. How did we beat bama. We will be luck to get 8 wins this year.

Can I get a D! D!
Can I get an E! E!
Can I get an F! F!
Can I get an E! E!
Can I get an N! N!
Can I get an S! S!
Can I get an E! E!
What does it spell?!
"Give up on life"

When did Chad Kelly turn into Mazoli
and Freeze turn into Nutt?

I'm dumbfounded how anyone can call for Luke's head but give the head coach a pass. Luke isn't the head coach, and he isn't calling plays. By now, over Freeze's tenure, I count six loses, SIX, that are directly attributable to his stupidity. He just isn't a smart man. Going back years ago to the State loss in which he ran Nkemdiche up the middle once to good effect, then tried it again for nothing, and again for nothing, and again for nothing, I knew he was not a bright person. But you have to be a particular kind of stupid to keep on running that play, and look, now Nkemdiche has a concussion to show for it. And guess what? FREEZE WILL RUN THAT PLAY AGAIN. Because he is not smart. Yes, he can recruit. He sells them all on Jesus and has essentially made the Ole Miss fieldhouse into an evangelical church, but he can't coach on the field. He's a preacher, not a coach. Truth hurts.
I would trade him for the Memphis coach in a heartbeat.

IF MATT LUKE WAS ENGINEERING THE TENN-TOM WATERWAY...IT WOULDVE BEEN AN ECOLOGICAL-STRUCTURAL DISASTER!!!!!
IF MATT LUKE WAS IN CHARGE OF OUR SPACE PROGRAM...., ALIENS WOULD POINT AND GIGGLE!!!!!!
IF MATT LUKE WAS IN CHARGE OF LOGO'S LOVELIFE....HE WOULD STILL WOULDNT HAVE A DOG!!!!!!!!
MATT LUKE COULDNT GET LAID IN A WOMENS PENETENTIARY WITH A FIST-FULL OF PARDONS!!!!
/really don't know what that last one had to do with anything other than my WIFE IS NOW DOING LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Football Saturday is fucked....

If you look at the Bama game, that was purely luck. Anyone doubt they'd beat us ten times in a row if we played them again? It is far worse than most people want to admit, I think. Freeze is in way over his head.

#BAS


Kyle Allen shouldn't play another down this year
ITT sunshine pumpers will tell me I'm wrong and I will call them fucking retarded.

Proceed...

Spitting mad. Pissed off. Pissed on. Mad on.

We can debate the reasons why this specific game was a loss, but this is ****ing ridiculous. I'm at tailgate post game and just wanted to check in. $5 million a year deserves better results at Kyle Field.

****ing Christ. Spare me his bull**** flirtations with usc. How about you earn your money here before playing cool hand luke.

Yet another home conference loss in the Sumlin era

Hey look. Talon enjoys watching Sumlin **** the bed at Kyle field for 4 consecutive years. Lemme guess, he shook your hand once and you haven't washed it since.
He isn't above criticism. Or maybe you should get a dog.

BAS can be quantified and it's a real thing. It's the difference between where we're ranked and how we play.
We were 14th when we played unranked Arkansas. We should expect to win that game easily. Aggies felt some uneasiness before that game because of BAS. Specifically, we played like we were 11 places lower. That's a BAS Factor of 11.
Today #9 A&M played #10 Bama. No one who wasn't drunk on Maroon KoolAid would have bet money on us despite our ranking. I think we played like we were ranked at 15. That's a BAS Factor of 5. As a 15th ranked team I would have expected today's result.
I think on any given year, no matter how good we think we are we factor a 5-10 place drop in our rankings to know what to realistically expect when playing other teams.

And the quicker you realize that our highly lauded quarterbacks (Manziel is an exception)
will flop in big games, the quicker you'll be a happy well adjusted Aggie. This is part of the BAS Factor. Whether it's high rankings or articles like these you'll have to knock it down several notches to be accurate.

BAS is a polite way of calling yourself a poosie

Minkah Field
Kyle Field just seems like an inappropriate name now.
Let's give Fitzpatrick some love for his two pick-sixes.

This one hurts not gonna lie. What do you do to recover? I have to admit watching the last play of the Michigan game was pretty funny that cheered me up a bit.
• alcohol?
• prayer and fasting?
• swear you will never worry about college football again?
• mind altering substances?
• watch re-runs of the 2012 Bama and OU games?
• break something?

I'm going to weld together a trident, sharpen it up like a razor, and hold it in the corner while screaming at the top of my lungs until I pass out from hyperventilating.

If Spav is the OC next year then I'm jumping on the Fire Sumlin bandwagon. The dude is out of his fucking element.

I want to hate this, but our offense completely fucked the defense... The defense legitimately gave up like 20 points. The rest was the offense sucking a fat dick.

if you take out the three pick-sixes, it's not a bad ball game.
Also, if you just arbitrarily remove thirty points from Bama's score, we win.
The good news is that I stopped thinking that Kyle Allen was deliberately throwing the ball game.

Fuck Spav, Fuck Kyle Allen, Fuck Everything

We had a bye week to prepare and we are still getting fucked right up the ass :(

Christ himself would have jumped down from The Cross and said "Oh no! Alabama was denied offensive touchdowns because they had defensive touchdowns!" Alabama Akbar, motherfucker.

Screw it, I'm going to whole foods and getting three slices of pizza

I am officially traumatized by the color red

This would have been a damn close game if our offense never stepped on the field.

So even after four years, Alabama can still walk all over our fucking faces.... This is seriously embarrassing. Even after playing a similarly structured offense in Arkansas, and a fucking by-week, we still spread our legs and let Alabama's cookie cutter RBs have their way with us. I'm sick to death of this horse shit...

So, maybe I should not believe my cat. I love him, but he is not a football expert. I don't think he even graduated med school.
I think he lies for food.

well to be fair to Allen.... Alabama is wearing a cold that looks a lot like maroon

I smoked my lucky cigarette at haltime. I told myself if we win, I'd never buy a pack again. Headed to the store for more cigarettes now. Kyle Allen you are slowly giving me cancer.

We are going to have to cut the head off a live rooster at midfield to remove the spirit of Kenny Hill from Kyle Allens body

I keep saying to my self "Kyle is not Kenny. Kyle is not Kenny". But why is kyle playing like kenny? Making bad choices when throwing it.

Running up the middle on Alabama's vaunted defensive line. you Spav fans can kiss my ass.

Screw it
I'm playingWorld of Warships.

We have been duped.
We have been told that we have to superstar quarterbacks. We have zero superstar quarterbacks. BUT ... you have to wonder why we aren't calling for shorter passes for Kyler since that is not his strength. Once again, another terrible play call from Spav. This game, Spav is totally exposed, and he clearly has been outsmarted at outcoached by Kirby Smart.

Another pick 6. Please explain this. Something has happened to him, and it's not the Alabama defense. The kid has lost his wits. I feel for the defense in this game. It is clear that they are working so hard, and Chavis is clearly outperforming Spav now. Spav did not not prepare Kyle for the pressure, and Kyle didn't do anything to counter that.

Mixed feelings about Allen
It's like he's a girl who flirted with us this whole time, maybe even told us he loved us, then at the end of the night he bailed on us so hard. I really don't know how to feel. I've been praising this kid since last season. "He's a first round pick. He's got all the skills Johnny wishes he had."
I've been adamantly against putting Murray in each time he entered the game. "Allen is the man", I told myself, "leave him in the game." Now this? I feel so betrayed. And I'm shocked that I actually think starting Murray next week is the answer. But I'm trying to be logical, so I guess I'm going to say that we have to stick with Allen.

Meechigan


Fuck this fuck that, fuck State, fuck Staee, fuck being unided, fuck losing on a punt, fuck people that send death threats to players, fuck Mike diantoni, fuck how I feel, fuck East Landfill, fuck this thread, and fuck those refs, I just fucking made MGBlog history...

Welp, it seems as though this fucking Michigan Football team is cursed, which they are. But the thing that really sucks is that we'll have to sit on this for two weeks. Would've had it end any other way, win or lose. Fuck the Spartans and whatever the fuck their fans say. We come back and sweep the fucking rest of the teams and end 10 - 2 and yes, that means beating Ohio State. Because this is a load of horse shit and we need a fucking rivalry win god damnit. Let's Go Blue and go 10 and fucking 2.

I just trashed my entire house

I hate everything.

I get it know. I really want to burn my couch

Well, that's going to leave a mark.

Just fall on it man, just fucking fall on it. I can't watch a game the rest of the year. That was too painful.

So that's what it's like to be a Notre Dame fan. I always wondered.

Im done. Forver. Forever

Michigan with a "Sparty No!" Play. Fuck this shit

I'm going to kill myself. Or just get more drunk

Of course
Of course
The curse of the Michigan football fan will never die. Not even Harbaugh can stop it

HOLY FGO;ASDFG
ELASD'
;W
DVV

i hate life
you have to be shitting me
they lose on that

I'm going to puke.

What would be a good garnish for a glass of antifreeze?

Game of the century and Michigan fans are the only ones who can't enjoy it.

Man I wish I was a sparty fan right now

I want to die.

I really want to watch the Wings game tonight but that single disgusting play has ruined sports for me for at least a week.

Fuck football. My lions suck, that shit just happened......like fuck life dude

hahahaha hahah ha heh FUCK

I knew it. I was going to shut the tv off, but noooo, I just had to see the worst fumble in my whole fucking entire life. Just shoot me now...

Well, there's always hockey season. Fuck.

And now I go to curl up and cry.

i fucking hate my life

I can't even feel my organs. Everything is hell.

Idiot punter. I blame his parents for giving him small hands

This is my fate as a football fan from Michigan. Just this. Forever.