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Alabama Produces Worst Video In Human History For Tonight's Tip-Off Event

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I try not to be too hyperbolic, but this video is among the worst you'll ever see.

Not your fault, Coach. No one is blaming you.
Not your fault, Coach. No one is blaming you.
Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

I'm not in the habit of beating up on my alma mater. I believe in fundamental fairness, retrospection, and generally giving folks the benefit of the doubt.

Then, I saw the promo spot for tonight's Tip-Off Event at Coleman Coliseum (7:00 CST, autograph sessions begin at 6:00.) To be as charitable as possible, this may be the worse thing the University has produced since Mike Dubose.

It is so laughably awful, so completely risible that I had to wait an hour to type this post. I literally could not stop laughing.

To say this video is "bad" is to do disservice to truly bad things...like Hitler or Brussels sprouts. We don't blame Coach Johnson at all. He can't have been happy with this block of fromundah cheese he was saddled with. Worse, it's not even a Crimson Tide Sports Media production -- it looks like it was done with an iPhone and half a sack of really bad weed.

The part-hype video /part-ill conceived marketing is a 100% abomination before the Lord. In fact, when trying to come up with a comparison to this viral atrocity, only two options came to mind. The first was the iconic Montgomery Flea Market ad.

The second was the '70s blaxsploitation/Honkey-shaming basketball program, "The White Shadow." There are so many jocular similarities between the White Shadow intro and the Tip-Off Event video, I cried laughing again.

Watch the above embed from UA Athletics. You may be aghast at first, but the true horror of what has been unleashed really only sinks in after 2-3 viewings.