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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Twelve

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This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to week twelve of Meltdown Time, folks. We're quickly running out of season, but there is still some melt left in the tank. This week we feature the LSU fans who are pretty well done with Les Miles at this point. Next up we have Ohio State fans who experienced the pain of defeat for the first time in more than a year. They seem less than enthused with OC Tim Beck's playcalling. Lastly, Texas fans will never be able to stomach watching mediocre programs like West Virginia assert their will on their beloved 'Horns. Charlie Strong may have already worn out his welcome.

As always, the language from this point forward is terrible and disgusting. If you are sensitive to such things, read no further. You have been warned. Otherwise, enjoy and tell us who won.

LSU

We're officially worse than Toledo AND Memphis.

I WANT TO CHOP MY FUCKING DICK OFF

I'm like "LSU, hello?"
Seen our season tank soon as Nick came to our door
Henry had no chill, smacked us and got on a roll
Married to the losing, introduced it to the Grove
Fournette used to flip, and now his Heisman chances low
Bret's a trap game? now we need some aloe
Losses burnin us, team is looking so slow
Hot seat burning up, Les is still my boy though
Got 50, 60 plays, a hundred mistakes woah
Man, I used to love how voters work the damn poll
Puttin up duds, we be slipping so low
Everybody hating, They just jealous fans though
In love with the corndogs, I ain't ever letting go

Our offensive line blocked worse than Charlie sheens immune system.

Would it be possible to just leave Less in Oxfart after this shitfest is over?

I'm all for Lane Kiffin as Head Coach

Is it effective to boo from your recliner?

All you smart guys PLEASE tell me what we practiced this week? or did we practice?

Welp we are definitely getting our pussy's crushed ole miss is PC.
I imagine being a DC against LSU is like being a DC on Tecmo Bowl. There's always a 1/4 chance your going to know the exact play LSU is running

This is making my head and stomach ache. Fuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

Let me first say that I'm pretty fucking drunk at this point.
Now, Cam Cameron should lose his fucking job, Les Miles is an overrated piece of shit that has lead LSU to being a worse team every single year since 2011 (though I'm not sure who could do better), and LSU is fucking shit this year. Holy fuck.

Watching these past three weeks has officially given me AIDS.

I hate how every goddamn year after we lose to Bama, we shit the bed the rest of the season. It's unbelieveable. Man up. It's one game. Don't light a dumpster fire just becauseyou get spanked by Bama.

Welcome to the shit show! With your hosts, Cam Cameron, Les Miles, and Brandon Harris.

Murder me and shit on my grave

I dont think les could even run a hotdog stand

This is truly painful to watch but I will stay until the ship sinks.

FUCK YOU VERNE
YOU FAT BISCUIT FUCK

Funny how all this really does feel like it goes back to 1/9/12

We're like the guy who gets his manhood taken after his first time in prison.. Never the same after
They're knocking the shit out of us like our defense used to do to other teams.
And we're taking it like little lambs.

Never thought we would be at the point of delusional as fans. Laughing at ourselves? Are we Even LSU anymore?

At this point you could put in bobby boucher in and we'd do better

It's time to euthanize Verne

Les would make Tom Brady look like JJ

Win or lose I think we can all agree than if Verne has a stroke before this game is over this would go down in history as the GOAT. Move over earthquake game

I am getting tired of laughing at this team

Patented Les Miles "Let's do dumb shit from the 1 yard line and get stuffed 4 times" drive. Really rolls off the tongue, ya know?

All we need is peanuts, hay and elephant shit for this 3 ringed circus

Fuck this shit, fuck this team, fuck les, fuck fuck fuck fuck

There is no sunshine left to pump baws.

Verne got a fat potato head hard on! He disgusts me.

I've never seen a game like this before.
Looks like the lighthouse of the blind vs Mississippi.

Just wait til we have 4 weeks to prepare for Tulsa in the Wal-Mart Bowl

Losses to Ole Miss and Arky are pathetic. Bama loss is a given.

3 hrs 50 minutes of torture

Ohio State

"And now back with Mark May" prepares noose

Run run run the ball, gently up the seams!
Merrily merrily merrily merrily oh shit it's 4th and 3!

T I M B E C K S U C K S

How Tim Beck still has a job after this game is beyond me. He literally gave Zek the ball 2 times in the second half. Just take his shit and walk him out the door. You're Fired!

I'm not gonna complain about the call, but in general I really hate when the announcers have a certain opinion about a call, and then as soon as the refs take the opposite stance on it, they immediately change their opinion to match the refs. So annoying. Makes them sound so flaky.

I could write our offense out so far as a computer program.
IF DOWN=1: Run ELLIOT15.exe
IF DOWN=2: Run BARRET_SWEEP.exe
IF DOWN=3 AND YARDSIF DOWN=3 AND YARDS>5: Run BARRETT_PASS.exe

I might have figured it out, here's my theory:
1. If JT doesn't get a play call from Beck, he's supposed to go with QB keeper.
2. Tim Beck doesn't know how to work his microphone and at this point is too embarrassed to ask anybody.

Two carries in the 2nd half? Man, I don't know what Beck was on, but I wanna try some because damn it must be good stuff. Like "I'm-seeing-dragons-in-the-kitchen-and-I'm-outside"-level good.

I don't understand why we aren't running Spider 2 Y Banana. We'd be up 3 touchdowns

Fuck Tim Beck. Fuck Tim Beck. Fuck Tim Beck. FUCK TIM BECk I cannot emphasize this enough

Urb: Okay Tim, we need 8 yards. Whadda you got?
Tim: I've got a 3 yard quick out route?
Urb: Perfect!

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this playcalling gave me cancer anyway.

I'd rather fuck a woodchipper than have to deal with Tim Beck for another season.

All year last year I heard we were a year away. Thank God we did it last year, because I don't know what we were a year away from last year.

Yup. Urban needs to fucking call out those 2 twats running this offense. I'm tired of him coddling these pieces of shit. They should be fucking fired tonight. Tim Beck is responsible for destroying Cardale Jones' draft stock, and destroying this offense, ultimately leading to the demise of this program and a chance at a repeat. He will always be a public enemy in Columbus, and I hope he never steps foot in this goddamned state again.

I want to murder someone

I'm stunned to the point of depression. I don't want to call for anyones job, but I can not stand Timothy Beck. It is very hard to win back to back national championships, folks. It was a good run and we have a bright future with the guys coming in.I'm willing to bet Urbz wins at least one more while he's at tOSU.I can see it being very difficult for the guys to get up for next weeks game, though. This was a heartbreaker. The only word I can use to some up my feelings? F***

I predict right now a loss at shitagain

Next week, Michigan will stomp all over us, signaling a change in the tide of power between these two programs. Pretty soon, Harbaugh will be fucking us consistently.

think positive guys, this could have happened against Alabama...

Texas

Go for it you pussies

Omg I'm going to burn down this Christmas tree my wife just put up.

Kill me now

Our linemen are fucking retarded.

#shittyassDBU

Hopefully our coaches will hand out participation trophies.

How does every team in America have a back-up QB that is better than every QB Texas has put on the field since Colt McCoy?
What in the hell is wrong with this program?

Well off to bed bath and beyond I go. Maybe banana too. Better than this shit.

I hate this fucking team.

I'm done. Wurstfest look the fuck out.

Shoot me in the FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck it all to hell!

Unprepared. Undisciplined. Terrible fundamentals. Total cluster fuck. Strong and this staff continue to shit the bed.

Fuck me in the ass. No bowl this year

Leave him in Morgantown. Leave the goddamn team there. why did we have to beat OU.. that's gonna save him

You can't take a leak without this team fucking up

I refuse to watch another shit show performance unti2017

We're proper fucked.

Ive said it all year, Strong doesn't know a goddamn thing about coaching. You can tell because he obviously doesn't know what special teams are

Baylor could probably put up 200 on this team. I bet they have to try real hard to keep it under 100. Points. Not yards.

Dylan Haines is slower than constipated shit.

Need something more fun to do....where did I put the tax code

We are a volleyball school now! We are fierce as fuck at the volleyball!

They could just kneel on the ball on the one and we'd hold in the end zone on the next play and give them 2 points and the ball back.

Can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

This team has aids

20 yard line has an invisible fence and our return folks have a shock collar. I'm sure that will be the Monday press conference line.

We're the cheddar bob of college football

Sure. A flag. because. we like flags. Yay! Not against us. Jump around and have sex with everyone.

Our entire program has a case of the stupids. I watch a shit ton of football, and we consistently show looking like the dumbest fucking team (staff and team) there is.

goddamnitgoddamnitgoddamnit

You could make a 30 for 30 about this Texas program the last 5 yrs. what if I told you a shoulder injury could cripple an entire institution.

Seriously. It's official. I'd rather spend time with the in-laws.

Mack sucked dick at the end and his tackling/D sucked ass in his final years and im glad he got fired
But his teams never looked like this. Our team is a legit high school team
Whatever the line for Tech is, itll be free money. Ill bet my fucking December paycheck TTU beats us by more than 2 TDs..... at home

Seriously, our team is fucking retarded and/or has contracted AIDS.

Holy fuck we run plays to throw to a running back with one hand.

I wish fucking wickline would get fired too. This mother fucker is horrible. Our o-line is always shit. Get this mother fucker out of here

second job charlie has saved this year. way. to. go.

Good things about this game:
• It wasn't a 21+ point loss. (Not a blowout!!)
• Our Best road game this year!!
• I got my garaged cleaned up

Well we win in the good looking female department at least look at those hogs

Yeah I totally hated Mack the last few years but he didn't put on an abortion as bad as this.

Well at least we have superior academics. Because I have no fucking clue what you would sell any recruit on reasons to come here

Jerking it with no lube to listeater scissoring OU's tranny cheerleader would hurt less than the continual punch in the dick we kept delivering to ourselves today