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Jumbo Package: Monday, 9 March 2015

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These are always so much fun to do after Alabama has a good weekend.

No word on whether the NCAA will try to constrain the sexiness of Warmack's Belly
No word on whether the NCAA will try to constrain the sexiness of Warmack's Belly
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

We crown another national champion

Women’s Basketball | Adapted Athletics

The Alabama Women won their 4th National Championship today with a 58-52 victory over the University of Illinois. With the win Alabama finished the year undefeated against women’s teams, 26-3 overall, and 14-0 in conference. Roll Tide!

The Lady Tide take home their fourth title. We at RBR congratulate the players, coaches, and program on another amazing season. Roll Tide.

Rules, rules everywhere

NCAA bans football players from wearing rolled-up jerseys | NCAA Football | Sporting News

Officials will treat illegal equipment issues – such as jerseys tucked under the shoulder pads or exposed back pads – by making the player leave the field for at least one play. The equipment must be corrected for the player to return to the game. The player may remain in the game if his team takes a timeout to correct the equipment issue.

This is by no means the most important rule, but it does show the NCAA is clearly working on issues like covering up Ezekiel Elliot's glistening abs.

NCAA football committee tables linemen downfield rule

"It became clear as this process played out there were pretty significant concerns being expressed by an array of people that this change could, from a strategic and stylistic point of view, change the game. That may all be well and good, but clearly there was a lot of concern about it."

Oh, no big deal, offenses have already bent and jackhammered the rules into submissions such that there is no strategy any longer and the style of play is similar to watching ping pong on acid. But, you know, we have to worry about tucked-in jerseys.

PROP tables talks of proposed ineligible downfield rule; other changes approved | NCAA.com

A 15-yard unsportsmanlike foul will be called on players who push or pull opponents off piles -- for example, after fumbles.

THIS rule is a big deal, and I can't imagine it won't be uniformly and fairly enforced (I am feeling snarky today, why do you ask?) Scrums have long been the norm, since, you know, the sport is an offshoot of rugby. How on god's earth can you determine pushing or pulling in or off a pile while making a play for a loose ball, versus, say, being pantsed by an LSU creeper?

Spring football (spoiler: no one has any faith in Alabama)

Breaking down Alabama's linebackers entering spring practice | AL.com

Can Reuben Foster stay healthy and establish himself as a viable, consistent and productive starter at inside linebacker next to Reggie Ragland? Who will replace Xzavier Dickson at outside linebacker and as a productive pass rusher?

The linebacking corps is ridiculously deep and talented. More than any other unit on the defense, I am looking forward to watching these guys develop.

Top 10 spring storylines: Nick Saban faces a rebuilding job at Alabama | FOX Sports

Alabama needs Kenyan Drake to return at full strength at running back, must replace its top three receivers -- including standout Amari Cooper -- and has to rebuild an offensive line that returns just two starters.

Finally, someone else with the good sense to recognize what some of us have been harping on for months: Kenyan Drake is what makes this offense terrifying. When he's healthy, and his head is in the right place, he is a legitimate homerun threat with every touch.

Spring overview: 10 bold SEC predictions - SEC Blog - ESPN

The SEC will crown a new champion: Alabama fans might want to sit down for this, but there won't be a repeat SEC champion. ... Repeating in this league is akin to winning the lottery in back-to-back years. The last time anybody did it was Tennessee in 1997 and 1998.

That's a fair assessment. I'd put my money on Georgia if I were a betting man (and I am, and I will.)

Breaking down Alabama's WR competition entering 2015 spring practice | AL.com

After losing three starters, Alabama has to look to the 2014 role players to restock the cupboard. There's certainly talent there and Chris Black has the most experience in the group. Remember he arrived at Alabama in 2012 with slightly higher recruiting marks than Cooper.

Time for today's rehashed argument of spring, and one of two storylines the national folks care about, OMG who's going to replace Amari Cooper?! Frankly, tell me who's going to replace Arie or Shepherd...that scares (and excites and titillates) me far more than who is on the outside. Games are won and lost up front.

SEC spring football prospectus: Transitions in both divisions

Just how good was the SEC West, anyway? Maybe good enough to beat up one another during the regular season — and feast on a weak nonconference slate — but clearly flawed against the best teams from across the major-conference landscape.

Whew, buddy. Hot Take Mountain erupted like Krakatoa on this one. Maybe, just maybe, some writers could take a look at the actual bowl matchups and see what most prescient observers did when the slate was released: the West had some very tough draws against very good teams (Miss. State), had tough draws AND injuries (Ole Miss), had tough draws AND injuries AND no defense (Auburn), had tough draws because of coaching turmoil (LSU), or had tough draws against the national champion in a game decided by one score (Alabama). Goodness, people.

Just a great weekend all the way around

The Crimson White :: :: No. 9 women's tennis sweeps SEC weekend

"[Sunday] we knew we had to go to work," Spielmann said. "The win from Friday is behind us, no matter how awesome it was – today is a new day. I think we did a really good job with that."  Alabama is now 11-2 overall, 3-1 conference.

The weekend sweep included wins over (forever-hated) Tennessee and No. 6 UGA.

The Crimson White :: :: Men's tennis upsets No. 9 Ole Miss

Alabama defeated No. 9 Ole Miss 4-2 then later beat out Alabama State in two matches 4-1 and 5-0. Although there were moments where nerves took over, the men fought through it and had many moments of greatness, coach George Husack said.

Bad weekend for Ole Miss all the way around. On top of getting swept by Alabama softball (more on that later), the vaunted tennis team laid an egg in Tuscaloosa.

The Crimson White :: :: Second to none: Littlejohn sets record with 2nd perfect game

With two outs in the top of the fifth, Ole Miss’s Bri Payne hit a line drive right into third baseman Kallie Case’s glove. The perfect game was complete. Littlejohn ran over to Case and hugged her, lifting her into the air. Their teammates surrounded them quickly, each one wanting to congratulate Littlejohn on her second perfect game of her career and of the season.

Her SECOND perfect game; the first Alabama perfect game at home...in a series sweep. Fantastic effort by all involved in the no-no.

Pitching Staff Combines for Three-Hit, 3-0 Shutout Win over Lipscomb - ROLLTIDE.COM

Alabama starter Geoffrey Bramblett began the solid pitching day for the Tide, tossing 6.0 IP and allowing just one hit while striking out five for his team-leading third win of the season.

More good news! Sure, Lipscomb isn't great, but a three-hit shutout, with some quality middle relief, is always a good sign.

No. 6 Gymnastics Beats No. 9 Auburn in Elevate the Stage Meet, 197.200-197.025 - ROLLTIDE.COM - University of Alabama Official Athletic Site

"You couldn't ask for a more exciting meet, going into the last rotation completely tied," Duckworth said. "We've been in both situations at the national championships...Both teams grew tonight because of the experience we just had."

For those keeping track at home, and I know you are, that is win number 112 in a row over Auburn. I hope that when I shuffle off this mortal coil, that streak will still stand. FAU.

Finally

ISO 2 SWF Who Walked Out On Tab After Class On Thursday - m4ww

....now looking at how you squeezed (didn't squeeze) your lemons, I'm thinking, "maybe this goes beyond petty criminal theft. Maybe this is love?" If you both feel this bond--and/or want to pay for your tab--message me what bar you went to at 4 pm.

Anyone that has ever worked in the service industry sympathizes with the poor guy who was stiffed. When you make $2.15 an hour, having to pick up the tab for "patrons" is just insulting and makes you want to gouge out your eyeballs.