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Too Many QBs

Which Too Many Cooks character is each Alabama quarterback?

This article is stupid. Welcome to April.
This article is stupid. Welcome to April.
Huffington Post

Yesterday, I wrote a completely serious article about the Braxton Miller to Alabama rumors that have taken over the rumor mill. This is not a serious article. It's not even an article.

You might remember 'Too Many Cooks' as the viral Adult Swim short from six months ago. It's a spoof on the intros of sitcoms and other television shows from the 1980s and 1990s that quickly turns into a dark comedy/slasher film. It is probably NSFW. If you have not watched it, the video is below. Watch it, or this will make absolutely no sense.

1. Jake Coker- Ali Froid

Like Froid, Coker does not have the most fundamentally sound release. Even without the textbook delivery, though, it looks like they are both able to get the job done when it matters.

2. David Cornwell- Justin Scott


Like Scott, Cornwell is a natural athlete, and while he may be very young, he looks like the future of the QB position at Alabama.

3. Alec Morris- Marc Farley


Morris is a Redshirt Junior, and like Farley, looks content to hold a clipboard during his tenure at Alabama. If Morris wanted to start he probably would have transferred by now. I would not be surprised if Morris becomes a graduate assistant somewhere after his playing days are over.

4. Cooper Bateman- Charles Pittard


Bateman was a promising recruit, but now he is buried in the depth chart and was even moved to wide receiver for a short time spring practice. Like Pittard, Bateman will make a GREAT insurance salesman in Hoover one day, though. Just look at him!


5. Blake Barnett- Gwydion Lashlee-Walton


Barnett is young, promising and oozes California cool. You can't tell me Lashlee-Walton is not the same. Look at those 'Bama bangs. Those put Brodie Croyle to shame.

6. WILD CARD Braxton Miller- Smarf


Miller is not at Alabama, and probably won't be, but it is fun to speculate. In the short, Smarf saves the day after the murderer starts his hijinks. Even though Smarf and Miller are often severely injured, maybe Miller can duplicate Smarf and save the quarterback position at Alabama.