On Your Mark, Get Set, GUMP! Alabama Fan Day Announced.

I understand the allure of Fan Day. I really do. We are a passionate people; we love Alabama football. Many of us collect autographs and love meeting celebrities.

Still, I can't believe this is already happening.

Video courtesy of my bud, Gretchen Friedrich (No, don't stalk her. I will be angry.)

WHAT IS IT?

Alabama Fan Day. A chance for the fans to meet and greet Alabama coaches, players, get their autographs, and watch a practice in 100-degree August weather.

WHEN IS IT?

Sunday, August 9th. Gates will open at 1:30. The practice will begin at 2:30, an autograph signing to commence thereafter (about 4:30 local.) The entire event should be over by 5:30 p.m. local time.

WHERE IS IT?

Historic, scenic Bryant-Denny Stadium. There will be no dedicated parking. First come, first serve. Park legally or you will be towed, FYI.

WHO WILL BE THERE?

The entire Alabama football staff, returning players, and incoming freshmen. I have verified through the University that Coach Avery Johnson will not be there...this is football-only.

WHY? DEAR GOD, WHY?

Because, the assistants deserve the chance to speak. The incoming freshmen need to know how psychotic we are. And, generally, it's the one, only and last chance for you to smell their sweaty, victorious jerseys each season. Considering this is the hottest summer in recorded human history, enjoy that aroma.

IT RAINS IN THE AFTERNOON IN ALABAMA. WHAT NEXT?

In the event of a rain-out, a closed practice will still be held at Hank Crisp Indoor, but the autograph signing will still occur inside Coleman Coliseum, also at approximately 4:30.

ANYTHING WE SHOULD KNOW?

Yes. The University of Alabama is a 100% smoke-free campus. Hell, I caught shade from a rent-a-pig while I was extinguishing my cigar, exiting my car...at a gymnastics meet...in February. Yeah, they're charmers. Don't do it.

Also concessions will be open. As you know, water is more precious than saffron or the Melange Spice (FATHER, I HAVE AWOKEN THE SEER!) in Bryant-Denny. Pack or plan accordingly.

Everything save concessions is free, although I recommend visiting our unofficial tailgate partners at Druid City Brewing Co. Say hi to Bo, Elliot and the whole crew. And, as hot as it is, get a saison. You will not regret it.

FINALLY

Finally, Freshmen report on August 6th when Fall camp begins. At that time, we shall go into to full season mode. Please sit back, and enjoy.