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The RBR Sweetheart Competition: The Dirty Dozen

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Time to vote, people...

Girls, girls, girls...not everyone is sweetheart material.
Girls, girls, girls...not everyone is sweetheart material.
Jason Silva-USA TODAY Sports

Welp...the nominations are in. With the importance of successful football season riding upon the results of the coming two elections, gentlemen (and gentlewomen, if you're into that sort of thing) I implore you...please take these nominations seriously.

You people have some interesting taste in women, I'll give you that. This year's Dirty Dozen includes a lot of newcomers, as I chose to leave a few perennial competitors off of the list. After all, they've had their time in the sun, and it is time for a new generations of sweethearts to poster-girl our beloved Crimson Tide to success in 2015.

All of the contestants were pulled from your nomination over the course of the last week. I'm quite impressed, as the nomination produced a diverse set of fitting females from which to select the eventual top three. Of course, one of those lucky ladies will ultimately be this year's sweetheart, and honor which includes placement atop the weekly hoodoo thread and our eternal love and favor.

And now, without further adieu...I introduce the RBR Sweetheart Dirty Dozen...

Margot Robbie

Based on the drool worthy photos included with the nomination and her apparent popularity with the commentariat, Harley Quinn appears to be the sweetheart to beat in this year's competition. At least that's what CB told me to say...

Olivia Munn

She knows a Wookiee from an Ewok, she will play Psylocke in the upcoming X-Men sequel and she chases dangling hot dogs...what's not to love about Olivia Munn.

Alison Brie

While named after a cheese, she is by no means soft and mushy. A perennial contender in this here competition, Alison deserves another shot at redemption after missing the supreme honor narrowly in previous years.

Katie Nolan

She knows sports, she possesses a great sense of humor, she called out super-douche Clay Travis and she has...well...other qualifications as the perfect sweetheart candidate.

Zoe Kravitz

Yes, her daddy rocks. But so does his progeny. Miss Zoe is the total package...

Charlotte McKinney

I almost didn't include her in the top 12, but then I looked at the pictures again. And I'm a male. Therefore, CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY FOR SWEETHEART, Y'ALL!

Chloe Bennet

A personal favorite of your faithful narrator, Chloe plays Sky/ Daisy/ Quake on Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. Her smokey voice does numbers on me, and well, the pictures speak for themselves.

Dolly Castro

I have no idea why I should know who this young woman is, but based on the photos in her nomination, I have settled on YASS! She fine, y'all.

Anna Kendrick

Anna seems to make this list year after year, but TawdBammer never lets her through the gates. Why? It is possible that she is entirely too attractive for either of those fellers.

Evangeline Lilly

Loved her in Ant-Man. And who does think elves are hot? (She played Tauriel in The Hobbit trilogy, for you non-geeks out there.)

Ronda Rousey

The Beatdown Bombshell…the Hammerin’ Hottie…no matter what nickname you give her, she’s not only attractive, but she WILL kick your ass if you make her. Don’t get handsy.

Parker McKenna

Again, I have no idea who this lady is. But I do know a gorgeous woman when I see her.

So there you have it folks...time to cast those all-important ballots. Voting will close at midnight CST on Thursday, August 27. You have a week to do your duty. To quote the Poet Laureate of Central Florida Larry the Cable Guy, get ‘er done.