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NSFW! It’s Meltdown Time! Week 7

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Where dreams don’t come true.

NCAA Football: Alabama at Tennessee Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning and welcome back to the premier collection of angry interneters enraged about something other than politics. We move onward into the misery of more college football fans.

This slate of football agony is deliciously rich but not too filling to finish. Our anguish starts in Athens where the Dawgs hosted Vanderbilt for Homecoming and it did not go as well as expected. The Spartan friends up north allowed Northwestern to put up 54 points with one of the 10 worst offenses in FBS.

The Red Raiders had their homecoming celebration annihilated by West Virginia. This week’s festivities end with a Bama-fueled rage of Tennessee fans who saw their top 10 team get annihilated by the tide.

From this point forward the language is about as bad as a dad trying to fix something in the garage but it isn’t going his way. Proceed with caution.

HUG A UGA

Mark Richt died for this.

No shame in losing to Vanderbilt. They'll probably only miss a bowl by a couple of games

run run pass punt repeat

The spirit of this crowd was broken at the Tennessee game. We all collectively refuse to hope again.

My liver is about to die for this.

Do you guys think tonic mixes well with bleach?

Ah yes. Saturday. My beloved Georgia Bulldogs play, and my blood pressure reaches all time highs. It's Saturday. In Athens.

I fucking hate the SEC Network right now. Why the fuck would you show that shit on a GEORGIA game? Ugh…

Has one of the best RBs in College Ball

Uses him as the lead blocker and hands it off to the wide receiver instead

Georgia found their Muschamp

Live look at Briscoe on the field

#ManhandledByVandy

#JustGeorgiaThings

Kirby Dumb ha! takes shot of everclear

The only positives from this game so far; Olivia Harlan.

I've obtained exclusive practice footage of Georgia receivers going through their drills.

"That's what a hail mary defense should look like."

Thanks, announcers. Noted.

I sometimes think Chaney has temporary amnesia. It's like all of the sudden he realizes mid game, "oh yeah! We have Nauta." And then he forgets again.

I think Chaney needs to realize that if a certain play isn't working for 3 quarters, maaaaybe give up on it for the rest of the game.

And Eason needs to work on his vision and progressions.

I've got a couch and I watch a lot of football, so I know what I'm talking about.

We lost to the worst team in the conference. We are fucking pathetic.

Where exactly do you drop anchor in Nashville, TN?

20Mckenzie might be the most terrifying kick returner in the country, and I don't mean that in a good way.

Bourbon Bottle Gripping intensifies

Why are you giving it to your smallest receiver as a RB on 4th and 1.

Me IRL

"Where does Georgia go right now?"

The liquor store.

Mason trying to ice the kicker like there is a chance he could make it

300 TEARS

Good news is it's homecoming so if we have a shit game again we will at least have a fun riot

I can't wait to be a trivia fact about which team made the playoffs and then didn't get to a bowl the next year.

Michigan State now has as many losses as the rest of the FBS Michigan schools combined:

Western Michigan: 7-0

Michigan: 6-0

Central Michigan: 5-2

Eastern Michigan: 5-2

Michigan State: 2-4

Michigan State might be the only FBS school in Michigan not to make a bowl. Fuck me

Haven't been able to watch since the Notre Dame game, but I hope we can continue out undefeated season and make it back to the playoffs!

Right guys?

.....Guys?

MFW Lewerke gets the start and Riley Bullough is back

In case it wasn't showed on TV, after Northwesterns last offensive TD, the ball went into the stands. When msu officials went to get it back, the fans passed it up the stadium and tossed it out.

We are proof that preseason rankings mean nothing + it's possible to be a top 4 team one year and out of the top 100 then next season. Quite depressing.

Basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball

We have such bad play calling its unbelievable. It's really shown now that we don't have NFL talent at every position on offense. We've gotten carried by our players for 3 years and it shows. If Dantonio doesn't change his staff this year, we're never going to go to the next level as a program.

Member Pat Narduzzi? Member Rose Bowl?

Excuse me while I go play in traffic

Fire. Everybody. Start with Mark Snyder

Kidnap Narduzzi and bring him back.

When offenses have 3rd and long vs msu's defense there isn't an easier position to be in.

I fucking refuse to believe our players are just that talentless. Our coaching scheme sucks ass and we have no fundamentals either. Now we're probably going to put TOC in and go 3 and out for the rest of the game

Glad we have a bye week coming up next season.

Wow first time in 21 years that we've allowed 50+ points. THAT'S how we're doing this season

Jessica Garner should be the sponsor of our defense because we are now the frequent fly zone.

What is pass coverage?

MFW watching this horseshit season

This game is like looking into the face of God. It is something we are not meant to comprehend. And, like just now, he giveth, and he taketh away.

DRINKING INTENSIFIES

When you run the option but forget which button pitches the ball

Anyone know how much alcohol it takes to develop short term memory loss? Michigan fans?

Michael Geiger "40% of the time, I make it everytime."

RECTUM TECH

I feel like a death row inmate who has resigned himself to his fate and put his trust in God. This is healthy

Kliff Kingsbury may be the worst coach in college football

Tom Herman had instant success and so did Nick Saban so why can’t Kingsbury stop fixing his fucking hair and coach a damn football game?

@kirbyhocutt you have a head coach to fire you fuckin pussy

Is it bad for the team to get booed off the field during a huge recruiting weekend?

This is ridiculous. Someone needs to remind West Virginia that playing defense in the Big 12 is considered rude.

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by West Virginia's defense raises Mahomes' hand because he's unable to

DID U KNOW?: Texas Tech's helmet logo features a "double T", with one T standing for Texas and the other T standing for Tech.

You know I respect WVU fans cause they seem just as tortured as us

West Virginia needs to stop running that "rush up the middle" trick play.

Fuck this bullshit

Is our O-Line on shrooms? for fucks sake...i'm checking out.

WVU is running it up the gut faster than I can put alcohol in my own gut.

Mahomes looks so lost. Missing open receivers, chucking balls across the field, not getting rid of it sooner... damn. Our defense has more stops than our offense does first downs

We deserve to lose if we're not resting our clearly injured starting QB.

Ha! West Virginia, now you won't beat our record of scoring at least 10 points in home games!

Texas Tech kickers are low key the only kickers in the country worse than Bama’s.

"nice open field tackle".... uh, he fell.

Well I'm out and so is most of the stadium. Pretty disgusting display as usual.

Maybe Ric Flair doesn't know what he's talking about with college football picks after all.

I miss the old Red Raiders, The 2008 Red Raiders, The Beat Texas Red Raiders, The Mike Leach Red Raiders.

I hate the new Red Raiders, The nonexistent defense Red Raiders, The always inconsistent Red Raiders, The zero defense Red Raiders.

I miss the sweet Red Raiders, The top-10 ranked Red Raiders, The Michael Crabtree Red Raiders, The Graham Harrell Red Raiders.

Because of those guys, I wanted to be a Red Raider.

Fuck our offense, for real. No discipline, shitting the bed 2 weeks in a row when the defense finally starts to figure something out.

3rd and 29. Throws a hail mary. Just Tech things.

Can't wait for Pat to take the field again after his 6th pain killer shot and overthrow receivers for 3 plays in a row.

This has been the worst game I've watched since TCU in 2014. Honestly surprised WVU didn't run up the score past 60. Kliff needs to cancel his Netflix and whatever the fuck else he's been doing besides actually focusing on coaching and making competent decisions.

No problem guys. We baseball school now.

country roads take me home so I can cry myself to sleep

This is the most miserable sack of shit football team I’ve ever had the misfortune of watching, and I’ve watched every goddamn Cowboys game since 2000. Fuck my asshole with the business end of that bayonet-fitted musket and pull the trigger. I hear those Mountaineers smoke meth so maybe one of their fans will be nice enough to spare some. My life and my team is in the dumpster: what’s meth gonna do to me that life and this shit team haven’t done already?

10ESSEE

Guys, I'm confused.. when does the comeback start?

I'll hang up and listen..

Butch Jones looks like he's constantly being choked by an invisible ghost.

In for Tennessee in the second half: freshman quarterback Meyton Panning.

how many of you have felt personally victimized by Alabama?

Thats it.

I'm impressed.

One play and another set of commercials.

WHO'S READY FOR A 7 HOURS CBS GAME WOOOOOOO

I think we just saw a man orgasm live on national TV.

Look, CBS. I want shitty commentating. Not Peyton pulling for his team like he's sitting on his couch eating nachos.

So at halftime I'm outside on the porch smoking a cigarette and I look over to my right to see a neighbor open his basement door and take a cautious step outside. He turns to his left and stares right at me.

He was completely naked.

He moved faster than I thought possible to turn around and shut that door.

Butt chug for Harambe

FUN FACT: You can tell this game is being played in Tennessee because there is a large orange T painted at midfield. Alabama would not paint a T on the field of their home stadium.

HEY GUYS DOBBS IS AN AEROSPACE ENGINEERING MAJOR

drink

GARY IS WEARING THE ROBE BECAUSE PEYTON WEARS IT IN HIS COMMERCIALS AND HE'S GOOFING AROUND.

Is Butch Jones perpetually red or constantly choking? Imma be honest, guy looks like he needs some blood pressure medicine.

We didn’t even achieve our goal :(

Remember when Peyton rubbed his testicle on that personal trainer? Good times, good times.

Verne seems like the guy who just destroys public toilets, looks at himself in the mirror above the sink, then leave without washing

Coach Saban, you're up 55-0 at the half, what do you think?

We couldn’t do diddly poo offensively, we couldn’t make a first down, we couldn’t run the ball, we didn’t try to run the ball, we couldn’t complete a pass – we sucked. We couldn’t stop the run. It was a horseshit performance. Horseshit. I’m totally embarrassed and totally ashamed. Coaching did a horrible job. The players did a horrible job.

Thanks coach, back to Adam in the studio

http://i.imgur.com/ED4lkVd.png

RARE Butch Jones pic from high school

"A high school wide receiver with ball skills, exactly what Nick Saban likes to recruit." Whereas everyone else likes to recruit asthmatic high school chess team captains, I guess.

my new favorite gif from just before halftime

Did he just "Alabama" and "underrated" in the same sentence?

We are quite literally using our last PRACTICE SQUAD linebacker. If we lose another then we have absolutely no clue who will go in. We're also using a 4th string DB.

I have a 2" rockytop in my pants rn

Peyton must have walked by the CBS booth on his way to the bathroom

Kiffin called timeout to do a "Web Redemption" real quick.

Swear to god bama could only throw passes with a backup left tackle and still whoop our ass by 50 points.

Why does CBS have the guy from the Papa John's commercials commentating?