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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 11

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The master of chaos has an endless appetite.

NCAA Football: Wisconsin at Michigan Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

College football is the greatest creation in the history of the free world and this weekend absolutely proved it. Half of the top 10 teams lost and nearly a third of ranked teams lost. Also Bama let up 3 points to Mississippi State, so everyone played poorly.

Fans complained about the lack of movement in the perceived top 4 teams and father chaos rained down L after L until the only undefeated teams were Alabama and Western Michigan.

This weekend allegedly had no good games. College football made us look stupid again, which I’m convinced is its favorite thing to do. It was hard to pick just four losers but I think we found the best of the bunch.

Michigan waltzed into Iowa City undefeated looking ahead to Urban Meyer and friends. They got knocked out by $45 million Kirk Ferentz on a last second field goal. Speaking of last second field goals, Clemson lost at home to Pitt in the exact same way.

USC manhandled the Washington Huskies and sent that poor pupper into his kennel to watch the playoff from the outside. Poor pupper.

Auburn lost to an unranked and bad Georgia team to cement Alabama as SEC West champions (you may now cackle maniacally). The Tigers did not gain a first down in the second half and allowed Georgia to score 7 of their 13 points on a pick six to lost 7-13. I teared up a little writing that.

Here is the part where I warn you that the language below is not my own and is as obscene as Tennessee orange. Continue at your own peril.

Oh and in case you thought I was serious about last week being the final edition of the meltdown thread you clearly haven’t been paying attention to anything I’ve written here. Not sorry to disappoint :)

UM(MMMM)... I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU LOST TO IOWA

Bama's D vs Bama's O national championship game I'm calling it now.

Me watching this shit show of a game.

I don't know what the Playoff Committee is gonna do Tuesday, but I bet it's going to upset everyone

2, 3, and 4 haven’t lost on the same day since 1985 and on that day Michigan lost to Iowa with Jim Harbaugh at QB.

We just hate OSU so much that we lose to fuck them over.

Jim Harbaugh is a fucking crybaby failure and will never win it all.

Why the hell can the highest paid coach in college football not beat a shit Iowa team?

Jabrill Peppers isn’t gonna win a Heisman and we won’t beat bama, let’s just give up.

Well it appears I have a mild case of alcohol poisoning and let me tell you it’s still preferable to losing to Iowa.

Maybe Iowa was onto something when they signed that big ass extension for Ferentz. Should we try to steal him from them?

Harbaugh is a whiny little bitch and I can’t stand watching him on the sidelines in his khakis and what has to be depends under there because he pisses himself so much whining at the officials on every single play.

Team Chaos be like

The last time Michigan State won and Michigan lost on the same day was November 28, 2015.

This clearly establishes that Western Michigan is the best team in Michigan.

At least we have the Lions *cries*

Saban looked at the playoff picture tonight and was like "Execute Oder 66".

You motherfuckers.

The University of Alabama presents: The 2016 CFB Playoffs

18 Half of the top 10 teams lost today. Nobody is safe from anyone except Alabama because fuck the rest of us.

If Jim spent more time watching film and less time drinking milk at his stupid ass steak houses he wouldn’t lose to a crap Iowa team.

Harbaugh should go back to the queers in San Fran where he belongs.

If Harbaugh can’t win us a championship by next year he needs to be fired.

*sung musically* go blue dabodeeIwannadie letmediedabodeedabodie.

How the hell does Iowa beat the best team in the damn country? What good has come out of Iowa literally ever? Maybe some slightly above average corn? Fuck Iowa.

TRAPPED IN THE PITT OF DESPAIR

Are we still doing Clemsoning?

Eat shit Pitt

Topical self-burn :(

Clemson wins the national championship

Clemson fans: BOOOOOO

Clemson fans be like #notmyrefs

I salute you Clemson faithful for standing up to shitty officiating

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

inhales

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Let it be known. Clemson fans hold mean ref grudges

"Refs love clemson" narrative taking a hit today

Fans rush the field anyway

Disappointed rushing

One thing about a Clemson game is you will never again forget how to spell Clemson.

How much alcohol does it take to forget this? I'll find out

"Well, our pass offense is terrible, we have the physical manifestation of the word 'Warrior' in our backfield, and we need a 2 point conversion. What do we do?"

"Uhh, 5 step QB drop for a pass?"

"Goddamn GENIUS."

3 ints but it's the refs faults

What's the fastest land animal? These refs when the clock hits 0:00.

Welcome everyone who is here to see chaos. Seats are on the left, popcorn is to your right, and the GUN TO SHOOT MYSELF WITH IS IN THE CLOSET

CAN WE PULL A LONGEST YARD? THROW THE FUCKING BALL AT THEIR FUCKING NUTS SHITTY REFS.

I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS IF YOU LET ONE MORE FUCKING SHOVEL PASS BEAT YOU I WILL TYPE ANGRY COMMENTS ON THE INTERNET

Two weeks later

Clemson fan spills drink

Boos refs

Clemson fans after FSU and NC STATE be like "whatever, shit calls happen to every team.

Clemson fans after Pitt be like "Fuck these fucking refs fucking bullshit fucking officiating fuck"

Don't play a PA team if you're ranked #2

These refs will seriously need a police escort

WE WILL BOO NEXT WEEK AT WAKE FOREST TOOWE WILL BOO NEXT WEEK AT WAKE FOREST TOO

Q U A L I T Y L O S S

U

A

L

I

T

Y

L

O

S

S

This game really helps to illustrate the futility of life and the illusion of joy. Entities created to protect you like the government or the officials will wait til your defense is down and fuck you when you need them most. Things that were supposed to give you joy and victory LOSE TO FUCKING UNRANKED PITT AT HOME YOU COLOSSAL ASSHOLES HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?

WASHINGATON OF TEARS AWAY

WE WANT BAMA! TO STAY VERY FAR AWAY FROM US BECAUSE WE ARE SO SCARED PLEASE DON’T KILL US!

At least we don’t have glasses ref anymore.

White towels for a black out. You can't explain that!

A man and his faithful compainion walks through the field. The weather has turned crisp; fall is here. Winds coming in off the Cascades ripples the grass around the pair. The sun is setting low on the horizon.

The man takes a ball out the rumpstack, the dog stiffens. It's a game they have played before; a game of fetch. The man bounces the ball off the grass, the husky intent on taking the ball.

The man steps back a few steps -- a sign that he is going to rifle the ball into the unknown. The husky prepares. The man winds up, and fires the ball; the husky runs into the endless grass in the search for the long-gone ball.

"Psych, you stupid dog" the man said, still holding the ball. He puts it away; then puts on a Trojan helmet. "Dang dog doesnt learn."

UW Keys to win:

-USC CBs fall over

-USC WRs fall over

Ah yes, the classic "Middle of the Play" timeout.

"Get the first down!" - Washington fans

"Lol no, I'm gonna run sideways" - Washington players

When were you when Washington was kill

Was sit on couch crying in beer

"Huskies r kill"

"Woof"

If I played for the Huskies I'd just be petting that dog the whole time

Make desperate throw. Picked. Center button. Turn off console. Go outside. Smoke cigarette.

I has a sad now

If the Huskies must lose, at least it will be to the accompaniment of some great music

Team Chaos seems to be waving a big dick around this weekend.

The Pac-12 has officially fucked itself.

So much chaos today.

Unranked UGA beat #9 Auburn

Unranked Pitt beat #2 Clemson

Unranked Mississippi state scored against #1 Alabama

And #20 USC beat #4 Washington

Unranked Ole Miss beat #8 Texas A&M too

Unranked GT beat #14 VT too

Unranked Iowa beat #3 Michigan

Browning: "mah Heisman campaign..."

Me irl

Shout outs to that scrappy Southern Cal program getting a landmark victory over mighty Washington.

I love it when directional schools do well.

Sad woof

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong Pac-12 ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no playoff ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝

USC IS WHY THE PAC12 CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

Clemson: should we give them a shot again?

Michigan: sure

Lord Saban gave his command.

AU BURN IT ALL DOWN

Deep South's Oldest Shitshow.

> be Auburn

> start 1-2

> firegus.jpg

> team goes on 6 game winning streak

> face off against subpar UGA team

> noworries.gif

> 0 first downs in second half

> lose chance at SECW

> mfw Auburn does it again

Gus irl

Do i stay on or get off the gus bus? Think I’ll get out and push

Bama fans be like Who's number 1? We are.

I want to hate this but it’s true today.

The curious case of Gus Malzahn and how he makes your life miserable

2013: made us believe in a fairy tale only to lose at the end

2014: made us believe we were out for redemption but completely fell apart at the end

2015: hyped all preseason and came out of the gates bad

2016: now that everyone was off the bus, we all jumped back on as he won us over week after week and it has all gone to shite yet again

I think it'd be healthy to just never believe in him again. He's like sex, except you never get to finish.

And by God we deserve to finish, fellow Auburn fans. And I mean big time finishing with a money shot and a sandwich ready five minutes later.

We deserve answers! Gus and co. hiding more shit than Hilary fukin Clinton

I seriously hope our team was doing blow and banging coeds in Athens last night There is no other excuse against that horrid, HORRID football team. We could have WON without getting a frigging first down the second half if not the pick six. Do your realize how incredible that is? uga is BAD and we just flicked our own prostate

Bama D would run a fricking train on JF3.

#notmytigers

I'm a teacher just north of Athens. When Auburn loses any game, my students get a quiz on Monday. Well... MY STUPIDS WILL GET THE MOST DIFFICULT QUIZ IN THE HISTORY OF PHYSICS!

Hold offense to 6 points, still lose.

We Florida now boys

Auburn: "Did you guys hear we control our own destiny?"

Georgia

Say what you want about Gus Malzahn, but he picks a strategy and sticks with it. Especially if it's a losing strategy.

This is probably what Saban looks like right now

You thought it was 2013 Auburn but it was I 2014 Auburn all along.

The Gus Bus crashed and the dream is dead,

We passed, passed, passed and we shit the bed.

Now all the Bama fans are having a laugh,

Zero first downs in the second half.

We go to a live look in at the Gus Bus

Kirby is a double agent.

Well this was just the shite cherry on top of a shite week.

Not gonna lie. I'm melting really bad right now. The drops were absurd all game long. White didn't play good at all, but God damn. When your job is to do nothing but catch the ball... CATCH THE frickING BALL.

Losing to Georgia again, when they suck arse again...it's so typical fricking auburn. I hate that team so much...frick, this one hurts.

Mr. Julio and I are gonna be hanging out tonight and getting nice and close. At least he loves me and won't shite on my hopes and dreams like auburn does vs uga every. fricking. Year.

We need to fire the frick out of this stubborn inbred booger eating coach speaking bugg eyed dickhead! frick!

Should of hired Kirby when we had the chance frick this.

Has there ever been a more miserable era for any team in the history of college football than Auburn fans with Saban at Bama? Honestly I don’t think there ever has been. We’ve gotten our asses whooped watching him bring four titles to that bumfuck school over there and even if we beat those twats this year they’ll still win the national championship. Every damn year we think it’ll be different, some Heisman winner will knock off bama and they won’t win a championship but guess what fuckers? THEY ALWAYS WIN! It doesn’t matter what anyone else does they’re always going to win and there isn’t a thing on earth any fucking person can fucking do about it and it makes me want to set myself on fire in that fuck’s office so he can watch me burn. But you know what? Sumbitch would probly light a cigar off me and smile as the last words I hear before I vanish from this painful existence will be “Roll Tide.”