College football is the most wonderful sport on this here planet. By the time I went to bed Friday night I already witnessed two top 10 losses. What a joy! Looking at the slate of games Saturday morning I thought there’s no way it gets better than last night, but it did!
Four top ten losses, seven top 25 losses, which easily could have been 11 or 12, were served up this week. This hasn’t happened since the last time it happened. Look that up I promise it’s true. Any week can become an amazing week in college football because it’s impossible to tell who is actually good or bad and everything descends into chaos in the end.
Now for the specifics of this weeks sadness. Friday night started off with #2 Definitely Better Than Alabama Clemson traveling to Syracuse. It was Friday the 13th so spookiness was bound to take place. Kelly Bryant took a bone chilling hit to the head that somehow didn’t stop Dabo from playing him. We wish Bryant a speedy recovery. Dabo was punished with a 27-24 loss to Syracuse.
Friday’s late game went full PAC 12 After Dark with Washington State and Cal. All preconceived notions of football were destroyed as Cal held Wazzu to 3 points and dropped 37 on them in a win. Washington fans cackled at their rival’s misfortune until they lost Saturday night in Tempe 13-7 to a then 2-3 Arizona State team.
Our misery finishes with the Auburn Tigers. The eagle war(ers? wariors? who knows) looked confident early on when they kicked a field goal two minutes into the second quarter to extend their lead to 20-0. Auburn would kick one more field goal in the first half then be shut out in the second to lose to LSU 27-23.
What follows is inappropriate language from the darkest corners of the college football internet. Scroll further if you dare take on the spookiness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
October 14, 2017
Hug your QBs before you go to bed tonight, ACC Atlantic fans
Somebody's got some work to do
How the fuck do you play a dude that can barely walk? Did we even fucking practice this week? Find out next time on dragon ball z
I'm absolutely sickened by Dabo's complete disregard for KB's health. There was no reason for him to be in this game. Completely and totally irresponsible.
Friday the 13th
Syracuse is a spooky place
Clemson confirmed 2spooked
So we will only pull Kelly Bryant when he literally can’t stand up anymore? Got it
Throat slash celebration when you're tied with an unranked 3-3 team. Fantastic.
Someone needs to tell Dabo about the land at risk on the Imperialism map. This is just too damn important to ignore now. He needs to know what's at stake.
That's really disrespectful how the Clemson players are taking a knee to protest Kelly Bryant.
I HOPE YOURE EXCITED FOR THE 2ND HALF, WE HAVE:
MACK BROWN BEING A FUCKIN MORON
THE REFS SMELLING GLUE STICKS INSTEAD OF DOING REF THINGS
CLEMSONS DBS LOOKING CONFUSED AS EVER
WHY ARENT YOU A BETTER QB PUNTER!!
When there are no ranked vs ranked games this week
Who would win, the defending national champions or this fucking guy
Don't let Clemson losing to Syracuse distract you from the fact that the Ottoman Empire blew a 2,000,000 sq mi lead.
This hurts Clemson's chances of going undefeated this year.
Syracuse: "Oh, you think orange is your ally. But you merely adopted the orange; I was born in it, moulded by it.
The orange betrays you, because it belongs to me!"
This shit is like when spongebob kept pushing gary in that snail race
Mack: "This is not a good fake area."
Clemson fakes the punt
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN FAKE THIS PUNT TONIGHT?!
NO NO NOOOO!
Dabo Sweeny tonight: "If he dies, he dies"
Somewhere in the Southeast, Paul Finebaum reclines in his chair, taking a sip of wine as the sound of thousands of cheering Syracuse fans echoes from his television, the only light illuminating the room. He stands up, and makes his way to the balcony, gazing at the moon longingly. A smile begins to stretch across his face, and with a chuckle, he whispers to himself "It just means more."
... "to the bakery for another "? https://t.co/oE5G5qoUMw— CougCenter (@CougCenter) October 13, 2017
October 13th 2017:
The day Clemson Coug'd it and the Cougs went Clemsoning.
Ranked teams afraid of chaos this weekend
Luke Falk: 0TDs, 6 TOs (5 INTs, 1 Fumble), 9 Sacks
Last stop on the Falk Heisman Hype Train: Berkeley, CA.
[Week 8] AP Poll
Players from Wazzu are like "did that just happen?"
Cal players probably looked at them with eyes of "dude, you have no idea..."
Excellent hands... Good route runner.. We get it he's white
WHO WOULD WIN?
The undefeated PAC-12 Hesiman campaign destroying Cougs
1 yellow flippy boi
This conference makes no fucking sense, ever.
DRUNK DOWN LINE RETURNS
I love how coaches sugar coat shit. Leach is like "We suck balls." LOL
AIR QUALITY LOSS
TFW you spend your whole life waiting for Friday the 13th to show up on the calendar each year, spend your whole day murdering trespassing drugged up teenagers engaging in premarital sex, and the headlines are overshadowed by two top ten college football teams losing.
Fun Fact: Luke Falk had twice as many turnovers as his entire school scored points.
Recap of Clemson and Washington State's Friday the 13th
Made Cal look like a FCS team out there tonight
First down line isn't official they say.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Pac 12 Refs. The decision making is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical flags most of the calls will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also a ref's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from UNC literature classes, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these calls, to realise that they’re not just odd- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Pac 12 Refs truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Ref's existential catchphrase “Pass Interference,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Glasses Ref’s 2009 epic Flags and Fouls. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Larry Scott’s genius plans to fold the conference unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Pac 12 Ref tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
GOOD DOGS AND BAD L’S:
Perpetually Perplexed Washington Girls is now my new favorite GIF. pic.twitter.com/Kxbr1N9TNA— Ricky Muncie, RBR (@RickyRBR) October 15, 2017
Late night game.
Dark literally an hour before it even starts.
Get the booze.
Petersen: "I wish espn would schedule some non night games once in a while"
ESPN: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE BITCH!?
Saban: "you guys are rat poison and ruin my teams behavior. Eat shit and die."
ESPN: haha so funny xd let's bring a fake box of rat poison to the next Alabama game haha. Saban has a point though always teaching!
LONG HAVE WE WAITED
This one is on Bruce Arena
>Be Washington Fan
>Talk shit about Oregon losing in Tempe
>Complain about ESPN underrating you
>Hype up undefeated Apple Cup
>Talk shit about WSU losing
>Lose in Tempe
when you miss 21 and 27 yarders that wouldve tied the game
The 2017 Seattle Supersonics made as many field goals as the Huskies tonight
Just ate leftover spaghetti with a spoon. Couldn't stand to look at another fork tonight.
When the 120th ranked defense holds a top 5 team to 7 points.
Well shit. I laughed at WSU. I guess this is karma coming for me. Now none of Washington State's territory is owned by Washington teams. Shit. Jeez Pac-12, can we stop cannabalizing ourselves?
Chaos is a ladder
You looked so beautiful the night ASU took away your chance at a CFP berth
Arizona State is even dressed in their ceremonial black robes for the ritual sacrifice of a top-5 team to chaos
Our kicker probably wants to hang himself at this point.... but he can't kick the stool out from under him.
This has got to be a great night for all 14.5 million current ASU students.
"Had a bunch of cows around him when he made his announcement". More top notch reporting from ESPN
PAC-12 After Dark: answering the question, "How sad can we make the state of Washington in a 24 hour period?"
imagine laying on a stretcher with a broken leg and hearing a whole stadium shout “overrated” as your top 5 team loses
that’s a pretty shitty night
AW NAW BURN:
The Auburn mascot dressed up as the Troy Trojan, then they blew a 20-0 lead pic.twitter.com/55GtUiSRf6— Pick Six Previews (@PickSixPreviews) October 15, 2017
2018 Football Recruiting Thread -- Does it even matter anymore?
FUN FACT: If the 107 players on the Auburn roster and the 120 players on the LSU roster were actually tigers, there would be 227 tigers loose in the stadium.
Only Auburn could score 23 in Baton Rouge in the first half and still leave its fans in a collective state of fear.
Update: my drunk dad is yelling at LSU for shitty play calling. He's an Auburn fan
Dump Gus and bring in Tubs to interim for rest of season?
Lane Kiffin Thoughts? Not afraid of Saban. Great recruiter. The only coach to make UT respectable since the 90s. Has a lot of HC experience. Slight risk of getting the death penalty but hey we're best when we're flirting with disaster.
4th and a nut hair, on their side of the 50, and pussy Gus punts the ball, clinging to a 2 point lead. I knew the game was over when they ran the punt back for a touchdown. I REALLY knew the game was over when this happened though.
Gus Malzahn on blowing 20 Point Lead: "It isn't the end of the world" That is beta AF
It is the end of the goddamn world. What a dumbass... Good luck talking Arky State into hiring you back.
If Auburn has more yards than you’re BPM is it truly an Auburn Game?
"Coach O, what are your thoughts on that first quarter?"
"Mrrmm mm rnmm football"
WELCOME TO AUBURN FOOTBALL PLEASE LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE AND STOP RANKING US IN THE TOP TEN BEFORE NOVEMBER
WE TOLD Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS.
"AUBURN IS GONNA DESTROY LSU, AUBURN IS THE SUPERIOR TEAM, YOU GUYS WILL END THE LOSING STREAK IN BATON ROUGE."
I HAVE BEEN FORGED IN THE FIRES OF AUBURN'S INEPTITUDE AND INCONSISTENCY. I KNEW THIS WOULD BE THE RESULT. NOTHING SURPRISES ME. I WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE DISAPPOINTED IF WE HAD WON. OUR OFFENSIVE MINDED GENIUS COACH LOST TO A COACH HIRED BECAUSE HE HAD A COOL ACCENT. TOO FUCKING LONG I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT.
FUCKING FADE MY SHIT.
Gus is the reason I will die of heart failure at 24
Gus is the worst coach at making adjustments in the P5. He has to be. He is paralyzed by his gameplans, and teams always figure it out by half. This is an embarrassment. LSU at home is always scary, but I can't help putting all the responsibility for this loss solely on our coaches.
You come upon a crossroads. To the left is a path marked "Kerryon up the middle for no gain", to the right is a path marked "deep pass into double coverage for no gain", straight ahead is a path marked "literally anything else for a positive gain most likely." Which do you choose? How about a sack instead?
Auburn still hasn't beaten LSU @ Baton Rouge in the 21st century
I’d like to point out an error in the announcer’s football strategy.
So, with around 1:40 left, LSU had the ball and a one point lead. Auburn had two timeouts. The announcer said that if LSU ran the ball, Auburn should allow the running back to score a touchdown.
There are a couple of problems with that logic that I’d like to point out and see if /r/CFB agrees.
Scenario 1: Guice busts through the whole and scores a touchdown. LSU is up seven, and then they opt to go for two, because the chance that Auburn scores a touchdown is low anyway, and a nine point lead puts the game away. Yes, Auburn gets the ball back with more time in this scenario, but there’s a decent chance that LSU has a nine point lead or, if Orgeron opts to kick the PAT to extend the lead to 8, they’d need to march down and score a TD and get the conversion.
Scenario 2: Guice bursts into the open and takes a knee at the 1. Auburn is forced to burn a timeout and there are ninety seconds left. LSU takes a knee three times and runs the clock out. Auburn loses without getting a chance. Here is an example of Brian Westbrook taking a knee at the 1 to ensure a win for the Philadelphia Eagles.
Instead, Auburn correctly opted to stop the clock twice and force LSU into a field goal, giving them the ball with 38 seconds left down by 4. Am I wrong in saying that the announcer recommending that Auburn let LSU score is an absolutely terrible recommendation from this announcer?
apology for poor english
where were you when eagle tiger die?
i was in press box eating grass wen dacoacho ring