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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 8

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Something about sadness, nobody reads this part anyway, here’s some sports

NCAA Football: Tennessee at Alabama John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

It’s that time of week again, folks. Our most treasured time to experience the joy of others’ pain. That title says week 8 but is it really week 8 so soon? I feel like we just got here. Time is fleeting, treasure each moment. We are only but a speck of dust in the wind.

Let’s talk about sports! USC played Notre Dame and lost in hilarious fashion by a score of 49-14. The announcers were too busy hyping up Sam Darnold to notice the score of the game as is tradition. Gameday’s matchup featuring Penn State hosting Michigan went about the same way as USC Notre Dame. Harbaugh was Harbad and Michigan lost 42-13.

Good ol’ Texas played Oklahoma State in Austin and took a top 10 team to overtime! Texas would lose when their QB would hilariously throw a game-losing interception when all they needed was a field goal to send the game to a second overtime. Final score Texas 10 OSU 13.

Double UT upsetness on the melt this week as the other UT (Tennessee) lost to Alabama 45-7. The game went about how the score indicates except the 7 points were scored when Bama’s backup QB threw a pick six, so no scoring from the Tennessee offense.

The language below is bad. Something about a delicate constitution. Don’t read further if you can’t understand French. Y’all know the drill.

US C U L8R

USC HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF

ESPN: “Sam Darnold wouldn’t have it any other way”

FUN FACT: The Notre Dame vs. USC rivalry continues to be heated and competitive to this day, even though Pope Benedict ended the Catholic ban on Trojans in 2010.

Win or lose, I am gonna get remarkably drunk

Damn. They are really hyping this dude when he’s down 28-0

Brian Kelly .666 win rate at Notre Dame, Satan confirmed.

Ah, but don't worry. Notre Dame winning the game 49-14 is all a part of Darnold's plan!

Don't let Notre Dame beating USC by 35 points distract you from the fact that Doug Flutie called Sam Darnold T H I C C

https://imgur.com/a/u8r1f

I lost a bet and have to praise ND in haiku form. I had buried it in the middle of the game thread, but feel like I need to include it here to fully shame myself.

You're better than us / Wimbush is better than Sam / I want to die now

I hate Notre Dame in a mutual respect sort of way. I hate our incompetent coaching staff with a passion.

Think it’s about time to start buying croot’s momma’s houses again.

Bring back Kiffin fml can’t be much worse than this.

USC after the game

USC lost worse than ND did in the national championship. Chew on that.

Haven't seen more disappointing results from a Trojan blowout since the birth of my child.

I'm painted and dressed like Shrek but I don't feel like an all star at all

Gin or whiskey? Fuck it, let's do one in each hand.

I too play my violin during the middle of biology lab

HE HAS NOTHING TO LOSE

EXCEPT THE FOOTBALL. AGAIN.

Roses are red

Football is bliss

On the tarmac

Kiffin died for this

HARBAD

Positive sports related things in my life currently:

A player I like that used to play for my team (Justin Verlander) is playing well for a different team.

No other things.

I'm helping my sister watch her 3 year old kid and she tells me to turn the game off and tell her kid it's over so she can put him up to sleep.

This kid just says "don't lie to me, i'm not stupid, its the 2nd quarter."

https://imgur.com/nxqnJuR

I WOULD PREEMPTIVELY LIKE TO GET OFF JOHN O'KORN'S WILD RIDE

I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue.

Live look-in at Ohio State fans: https://m.imgur.com/76tVwoI

Ha ha, you can't hurt me Barkley Im already drunk

So you're asking us to score a touchdown? I'm switching to the hard liquor boys

MICHIGAN WINS 62-52 ON HOME AND HOME AGGREGATE!

...

:(

Alabama is a powerhouse every year....and they lose people to the NFL every year.

Maybe Michigan shouldn't be celebrating how many players it sends to the NFL more than it celebrates winning conference championships...or even beating Ohio State, ffs.

I don't care if they send 20 players to the NFL every year if they just lose the games they should win. I don't want Michigan Football to be the minor league team for the NFL....I want them to WIN. I want the program to win...I want them to beat State and OSU...I want them to win the Big 10.

I want them to have EARNED their swagger rather than be posers and hype.

I don't know a single player so I can't speak to their mindset...but as a fan of the program for over 45 years, I gotta wonder of the defining character trait of Michigan Football IS choking on the big games.

Seems to be the only common trait through the decades regardless of who is the coach and who recruited who to play

They lost to State for one reason and one reason only...STATE wanted it more. From the coach to to the players to the waterboys...they wanted it in their bones. You could SEE they wanted it more just watching them play. Michigan needs to stop the pomp and circumstance and the hype and earn the swagger they seem so fond of....

After this weekend, PSU and OSU will be in the top 10. Notre Dame should be right around #10. MSU will stick at about #18. Michigan should drop out of the top 25.

This is like the 6th circle of hell for Michigan.

Going to have to fly the khakis at half mast tomorrow.

MICHIGAN IS NOW TIED WITH RUTGERS FOR 4TH IN THE BIG TEN EAST

If O’Korn jizzes and doesn’t call it “Cream O’Korn” he is missing a major opportunity

how I feel rn

This really hurts our chance to have 3 straight 3rd place finishes.

Member Michigans #1 defense?

Con: Michigan lost badly today

Pro: today I discovered the incredible ability to use the bottom of a reclining sofa as a table for food

All empty words. Hopefully we can beat Rutgers since we can’t beat any of our rivals and any of the real teams in the Big Ten. Maybe we can call Saban or Meyer for some advice from proven winners. And before any part of the fanbase that has no clue what Michigan football is supposed to be about- please don’t comment about supporting this team, because I do. I just don’t have any belief in Michigan Football anymore. It had been too long since we have seen any results. I am just going to watch without expecting anything any more.

BEV-OH NO

Moral victory number fucking 3

Somebody please kill me

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DM1vFToUQAA7Prp.jpg

tRuE fReShMaN qUaRtErBaCk

wE hAvE iNtAnGiBlEs

B I G

1 2

D E F E N S E

Serious Question: Why don't we hire a recent Madden champ as OC?

I am not joking at all. Can you imagine the thought of running sideways on 3rd and 1 and then 4th and 1 EVER crossing their minds? And then also imagine the incredibly LOGICAL playcall they would draw up, and salivate over what we could be with Heard under their playcalling.

Norvell has been put in a tough spot, no doubt, but I am not satisfied one bit. Some of the play calls tonight were a joke. Including the one that Foreman scored late on to bring us within one score.

Bring in the past 5 Madden champs for interviews and let's get to playing some good offense. Perhaps we can post other bright OC hire ideas here.

Shutting down the nation’s best offense means absolutely nothing if you still can’t win the game...sure, it’s a moral victory for Texas, but unfortunately, moral victories don’t win championships, period!!!

It's really amazing to see Texas invent new ways to rip their fans' hearts out every single week

That was the dumbest throw in the endzone I've seen in such a long time

Texas: the team that repeatedly proves that it COULD beat anyone, but refuses to actually do it.

I picked the wrong weekend to quit smoking

Texas in the Big 12:

https://giphy.com/gifs/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-television-charlie-IeIV1wt8IpKJG

Tim Beck you shit

Watching this game was like thinking you're getting better from a nasty cold only to find out it's brain cancer.

Don't wanna hear a word from okst about the refs

New Texas coach makes a terrible comfort hire at OC and it doesn’t work out at all.

Describes Charlie Strong and Tom Herman.

Texas Status: Not Back

www.istexasbackyet.com

Fire Tim Beck, fire Greg Fenves, fire Mike Perrin, fire Greg Abbott

Hell of a Big 10 game impression by both teams.

Texas, late at night

”choke me daddy”

Sam: "Whatever, I'm hungry. Here you go."

Texas narrowly dodging a victory

texas rn

TENNESSAD

The Tuscaloosa Chainsaw Massacre

FUN FACT: Alabama is French for "in the style of Bama."

Congratulations Bama, I don't even have the energy to dislike you anymore.

Butch Jones- "We've already beaten Alabama, we're the champions of imagination."

Exclusive live look at Butch Jones during the postgame interview

So the Grumors are dead and Alabama beat us like a drum with their 2nd string. What a time to be a Vol.

Only 12 quarters without a touchdown! Extend Butch!!

I just don't know if 21 points is going to be enough to hold off this dynamic Tennessee offense

Losing by 3 touchdowns.

flips off crowd

Of course Alabama has a 400 lb fullback hahahaha

fucking kill me please

Yes dad, the freshman starting his second game against one of the greatest dynasties in college football history should have perfectly read that defense and changed the play. Fucking idiot.

WE'RE BETTER THAN VANDERBILT CONFIRMED

Found an explanation about one of our guys flipping off Bama fans.

"He was just letting them know they’re #1 in both polls"

Is death supposed to take this long?

"Hello this is a collect call from Tuscaloosa airport. Will you accept the call from..."

"Honey please wire me $500 they just fire..."

"You have declined the call. Thank you."

i was at the game and a tennessee fan got arrested for writing “fuck butch” on the stands in the nosebleeds.

Can we euthanize Gary already?

GOOD OLE ROCKY TOP

WOO!

LAST IN THE SEC

WEEKLY REMINDER!

WE FUCKING SUCKKKKKK!

We haven’t scored an offensive touchdown in a month.

I still don’t know how Lyle Jones is our coach!

Pray for my liver tonight! Go Vols!

Well, I'm going to pick up Butch Jones at his house on Monday morning. Put him in the back of my car, give him his favorite treat and ride around with the windows down. Take him to his favorite park one last time to run around and then we will go to the vet office where I will have to put him down.