If you are a smart college football fan, you took this weekend to spend with the people in your life who are not as enthused with the sport as you are. “You know what, honey-pie?” you would say, “forget college football this weekend. I am going to spend Saturday with you. But I might just TiVo the Bama game if that is okay with you, turtledove. And maybe Auburn-ULM, just for laughs. But today is all about you, sugar-doodle.”

If you did not take advantage of Cupcake Saturday, you are outta luck because it’s Rivals Week!

ELIMINATED!

Nobody!

NEAR ELIMINATION KINDA SORTA

Wisconsin 24 Michigan 10 - Well, that was it. The Badgers toughest game of the regular season. Michigan turned to QB #3 who was not much better than #1 or #2. When #3 was knocked out of the game, Harbaugh went back to #2 and so did the offense (SWIDT?).

Wisky is a solid team in all phases, well-coached, and disciplined. But they have not truly been tested. The Badgers’ most difficult games (Northwestern, Iowa, Michy) have all been in the friendly confines of Camp-Randall Stadium. It’s all going to come down to whether Urban Meyer brings Jekyll or Hyde or the B1GCG.

Miami 44 Virginia 28 - Despite the score, this was another struggle for the Hurricanes. UVa led 28-14 in the second half but a pick-6 by Miami triggered an avalanche of fail for the Cavaliers.

Miami is one of those teams that gets all the weird bounces and craziness to go their way. Malik Rosier has had so many YOLO passes that just happen to drop into his receiver’s hands. And that Turnover Chain was a genius move. They have a bunch of impressionable young men, many who are from the streets of Miami, who totally get off on wearing that chain. It’s much better than a stupid trash can or stupid spiked shoulder pads. Alabama fans may have noticed the "Ball Out" Belt is still fun but it has lost a little sheen. The Miami Chain will fade in time but for now it’s working.

SEC vs SEC

Mississippi State 28 Arkansas 21 - The Bullies found themselves in an early hole after Arky converted a muffed punt into one TD and a fumbled rush attempt by MSU was recovered in the end zone for another. MSU came back to tie it at 14-14 at the half but again fell behind on a long drive by the Hogs to start the second half. After an exchange of several punts, Clanga-clang tied it up with just under 4 minutes to play. In a baffling if not appropriate Bert move, the Razorbacks went for the conversion on fourth-and-two from their own 44 yard line with 3:10 remaining! In addition, it was a terrible play call in which no Hogs receivers were open. One receiver appeared to be blocking, while the other basically ran right to the safety as if he wanted to be covered. This gave Dan Mullen plenty of time to open his play book and meander his way down the field for a Nick Fitzgerald passing TD leaving 17 ticks on the clock.

Georgia 42 Kentucky 13 - UGA took a little time to get warmed up but it was the Nick Chubb and Sony Michel show as the Bulldogs ran for 381 yards. Again, Jake Fromm (9/14, 123 yds, TD, INT) did not have much to do other than hand the ball off and occasionally pass.

UGA has defeated UK eight straight times. The Bulldogs are undefeated against the SEC East for the first time ever.

LSU 30 Tennessee 10 - This was a weird one. UT’s Marquez Callaway had two muffed punts that were converted into the first 10 points for the Tigers. However under interim coach Brady Hoke, the Vols had a little life and only trailed 17-10 at the half. But then Ed Orgeron pulled out his Cajun Witch Doctor VooDoo kit and a tropical deluge hammered Neyland Stadium as the teams attempted to resume play in the second half. As the rains and wind pounded the field, the Vols could not cleanly field the kickoff and started at their own 3. After three unsuccessful plays and two false start penalties, UT had to punt. As the Tigers took possession, the rains and winds, as quickly as they had arrived, departed in short order. LSU took ball at midfield and scored nine plays later. The Vols returned the ensuing kickoff to the 16 and were stuck behind yardage sticks the rest of the game.

Texas A&M 31 Ole Miss 24 - This was one of the uglier if not evenly matched games with both teams totalling 391 yards each and a difference of one in first downs. OM finished with 13 penalties for 102 yards, while TAMU had 7 for 65. TAMU punted eight times, OM nine. Rebs top WR AJ Brown dropped at least three passes. The only second half scoring came from an Aggies pick-6 and an 18 yard field goal.

Missouri 45 Vanderbilt 17 - Vandy stinks, Mizzou’s reemergence. You know the story, right?

SEC vs CUPCAKES

Alabama 56 Mercer 0 - It was name your score for Nick Saban’s crew. Seriously.

Auburn 42 Louisiana Monroe 14 - Aubie figured just showing up would count as a win and only led 14-7 at the half. Jarrett Stidham had an INT and a lost fumble. Kerryon Johnson was forced to carry 22 times in what should have been an Iron Bowl tune-up.

Florida 36 UAB 7 - Eddy Pineiro kicked five field goals, two from 50 yards out. UAB managed only 180 total yards and 8 first downs. Here is an argument for #TooManyBowls. The Gators are 4-6 with one game to play. Do they deserve to go to a bowl game? No. Then why should a team who they dominated go to one?

South Carolina 31 Wofford 10 - Jake Bentley blah blah blah, you don’t really care, do you? The Gamecocks (8-3) got themselves ready to ruin Clemson’s season.

MOAR CUPCAKES!

Oklahoma 41 Kansas 3 - By now you have probably seen the antics by Baker Mayfield after he thought he was being dissed by Jayhawks’ refusals to shake his hand. First off, look at his Sooners teammates. Are they attempting to shake anyone’s hands during the officials’ instructions? Secondly, who is he aiming for? The little 4 year old or the Kansas player who is looking at the ground? There is no excuse for the fifth grade reaction to this imagined drama that Mayfield cooked up in his head and Lincoln Riley should be ashamed for defending it. Riley by the way came up with a punishment that would make Pat Dye blush: Mayfield won’t be captain for the season finale with West Virginia and he won’t start. How long do you think that will last? One series? One play?

Clemson 61 The Citadel 3 - Ha Ha! Gave up a field goal!

Ohio State 52 Illinois 14 – Sure it was a conference game but it's Illinois. They are cupcakalicious.

GRAB BAG

FAU! 52 FIU 24 - Lane Kiffin’s offensive machine keeps rolling along. Devin Singletary is fourth in the nation in rushing yards with 1,524. The Owls are 8-3 with seven straight wins and have clinched the C-USA East Crown.
Notre Dame 24 Navy 17 - Game came down to a fourth quarter Irish TD.
Penn State 56 Nebraska 44 - PSU led 42-10 at the half and figured the game was over.
Texas 28 West Virginia 14 - The Longhorns get back to a bowl for the first time since they lost the Texas Bowl 31-7 to Arkansas in 2014.

LOL

Kansas State 45 Oklahoma State 40 - Typical Okie Lite.
Wake Forest 30 NC State 24 - Remember how big and bad errybody said NCSU was a short time ago?

THE DESMOND HOWARD JINX

Okay, so three are still alive. Do you truly think they can win the big one?

• Georgia - They now play their rival Georgia Tech (5-5) who just lost to Duke followed by the SECCG in ATL.
• Wisconsin - Next up for the Badgers is a trip to Minnesota. Shaking in your boots, aren’t you? Then the B1GCG vs. anOSU in Indianapolis.
• Miami - The ‘Canes travel to Pitt. Then, a date with Clemson in Charlotte.

BAMA STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE

Crimson Tide OOC foes:

• FSU (4-6) stomped Delaware State as they should to the tune of 77-6. Up next is the Gators and then a make-up game with UL-Monroe with the hopes of the elusive win #6.
• Colorado State (7-5) fusticated San Jose Cuervo State 42-14. The Rams’ Michael Gallup is #1 in FBS in receiving yards with 1,345.
• Fresno (8-3) - Wyoming NFL prospect QB Josh Allen was receiving "specialized treatment" and did not play. In his absence, the Cowboys who did not scored until 2:00 to play, were no match for the Bulldogs, losing 13-7. It makes you wonder if Allen is pulling a “Christian McCaffrey”.
• Mercer (5-6) lost.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• San Diego State (9-2) The Aztecs smothered Nevada 42-23. Rashaad Penny ran wild for a SDSU-record 429 all-purpose yards (previously held by Marshall Faulk) and scored four touchdowns - two rushing and one each returning a punt and a kickoff. Penny was left off Doak Walker Award finalists list.
• Memphis (9-1) wins a shootout with SMU 66-45.
• Elon (8-3) lost to top-ranked James Madison but still made the NCAA Division I FCS Playoff field. They will host Furman on Saturday noon/1pm. You can view the full FCS bracket HERE. Former Bama assistant Curt Cignetti has worked wonders for Elon who had not had a winning season since the Phoenix went 6-5 on 2010.

COUSINS

• Troy (8-2) The Trojans has a bye week.
• South Alabama (4-7) The Jags may have hit rock bottom after being obliterated by previously winless Georgia Southern 52-0! The Eagles outgained the Jaguars 583-195, including 356-29 rushing. There will be no post-season for USA. In a somewhat surprising development, Joey Jones, the only head coach USA has even known, has decided to step down at end of season. The 55-year-old former Alabama WR is 52-49 in nine seasons in Mobile.

THAT ANNOYING STEP-BROTHER

UAB (7-4) It is now okay to scoff at that one annoying guy you know with UAB affiliation. The Florida Gators, as bad as they are, dominated the Blazers winning 36-7. UAB scored a late TD to avoid the shutout.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

• Navy (6-4) The Midshipmen hung tough with Notre Dame but a fourth quarter Irish TD was the difference.
• Army (8-3) - The Black Knights lost to North Texas 52-49. Army-Navy awaits December 9th.
• Air Force (4-7) - The Falcons fell to the Smurfs 44-19.

ELIMINATED

NEW: none

All non-Power 5 teams.

Arizona
Arizona State
Arkansas
Auburn
Baylor
Boston College
BYU
Cal
Colorado
Duke
Florida
Florida State
Georgia Tech
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Iowa State
Kansas
Kansas State
Kentucky
Louisville
LSU
Maryland
Michigan
Michigan State
Minnesota
Mississippi State
Mizzou
NC State
Nebraska
North Carolina
Northwestern
Notre Dame
Ohio State
Oklahoma State
Oregon
Oregon State
Penn State
Pitt
Purdue
Rutgers
South Carolina
Southern Cal
Stanford
Syracuse
TCU
Tennessee
Tejas
Texas A&M
Texas Tech
UCLA
Utah
Vanderbilt
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Washington
Washington State
Wake Forest
West Virginia

AND... Ole Miss

THE CONTENDERS

The fourth College Football Playoff Rankings will be issued tonight at 6pm/7pm ESPN. Selection Day will be Sunday, December 3.

An way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

As expected, there was no Chaos this weekend. No teams in the top 12 of the College Football Playoff Rankings lost. Only three of the top 25 (Okie Lite, NCSU, Michy) went down to defeat.

Alabama 11-0, Wisconsin 11-0, and Miami 10-0 remain the only unbeaten P5 teams. Only three P5 teams have one loss: Georgia, Clemson, Oklahoma.

• ACC - Clemson could have a tough one in Columbia. South Carolina is a much improved team and they are feeling good. Miami has to travel to Pitt.

• Big Ten - Wisky is left carrying the conference flag. Ohio State is a longshot. Penn State is a much longer shot.
• Big 12 - Okie needs to TCB which means beating WVU at home and then the B12CG vs TCU. I don’t know if the Sooners get in if they lose either.
• PAC-12 - #SadTrombone. All teams have two or more losses and none of the leaders of the conference have strong wins. They are likely left at home on Prom night.
• SEC - The winner of the Iron Bowl will face UGA in the SECCG. If that is not Alabama (FLAGGED!), that does not mean the Tide is eliminated from a playoff spot.
• Indies

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

There is not much reason to think the CFP Committee will change their top 6 (1 Alabama, 2 Clemson, 3 Miami, 4 Oklahoma, 5 Wisconsin, 6 Auburn) but you never know with that crazy bunch. I still have Okie second. Here is my half-ass cop-out ranking:

1. Alabama - Any arguments?
2. Oklahoma - Beating up Kansas impresses nobody but Ima leave the Sooners right cheer for now.
3. Miami - The Hurricanes struggled with UVa.
4. Clemson - The Committee put the Tigers second based on the fact that QB Kelly Bryant was knocked out of the game they would eventually lose. This is idiotic. First off, Clemson was losing that game to Syracuse 17-14 when Bryant exited. Secondly, the Orange put up 440 yards on the vaunted Tigers defense and converted 8 of 19 third downs into first downs, plus two for two on fourth downs. You cannot blame that on Bryant’s injury. And finally, Syracuse is awful. There is no excuse for losing to a 4-7 team. If it was a NC State or a Louisville, maybe. But not that Syracuse team.
5. Wisconsin - Yawns.
6. Auburn - Just ahead of UGA.

LET’S GO BOWLING

The SEC has nine teams with six or more wins. The other five (Fla, Tenn, Ark, Vandy, OM) do not qualify for a bowl.

70 teams now have six or more wins. 19 schools stand at 5 wins. FSU has four wins but has two games to play. The winners among those 19 will battle for the final 8 bowl slots. It doesn’t look like we’ll have any 5-7 bowl teams this year. There may even be a few 6-6 staying home in December.

THE TRIPLE GOLDEN SOMBRERO

UTEP is now 0-11 with one game to go against... wait for it... UAB! Georgia Southern blew their chance at a Golden Triple Sombrero with the utter destruction of South Alabama.

HAWT TAEKS OF THE DAY

There are so many to choose from in the SEC Coaching Carousel department. Malzahn to Arky; Gruden to Tennessee; Chip Kelly to Florida; Jimbo to TAMU.

My Hawt Taeks on these Hawt Taeks are as follows: Malzahn will stay put; Gruden will NEVER coach EVER again but he gets off on the annual attention and is not shy about stoking the fires; Chip Kelly does not want to go back to college but will if he has to and will do so halfheartedly; Jimbo wants a change but he wants $$$$ with a Golden Parachute.

Krazy Kristi's "SHUT UP!" of the Week goes to Kansas State head coach Bill Snyder who has the nerve to try and block K-State from hiring Jim Leavitt as his successor and insist that the school instead hire ... his SON??? Who the f*** does he think he is? The University has long been kowtowing to this mediocre legend even renaming their stadium after him the day after Snyder announced his first retirement in 2005. The belief was that the senior Snyder would compromise on his replacement by picking someone from his coaching tree. Leavitt, currently DC at Oregon, was an assistant under Snyder at K-State from 1990-1995 before taking the USF head job, where he was a respectable 95–57 from 1997-2009. But now, Snyder is being a stubborn old fool threatening to not retire until sonny-boy is given the crown. Sean Snyder has never been a head coach and his only job has been as an assistant under Daddy. Also, he was a punter in college (just sayin’). This is going to get real ugly.

HEISMAN HYPE

With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Last year was yet another exhibit of the voters falling in love with someone way too early. That being the case, we'll bring you "Who Will Win" and "Who Should Win".

Who Will Win -

• Baker Mayfield (QB Oklahoma) This guy. Seriously. You are 22 years old. Grow up. He’ll still win because everyone else is so unspectacular.
• Bryce Love (RB Stanford) Love did not grab much attention in the win over Cal as he struggled for much of the night, posting a quiet (by his standards) night of 14 carries for 101 yards with 57 coming on one run. Take away his long run and he was 13 for 44 for a 3.38 ypc average.
• Saquon Barkley (RB Penn State) He put up some big numbers against Nebraska but it’s too late baby now, it’s too late.
• Lamar Jackson (QB Louisville) Here comes the squawking from the idiots who don’t bother to look up anything others than total stats. Yes, his stats are comparable to last season when he won, but he should not have won last year to begin with! Secondly, he is padding his stats against some bum teams. Look at this schedule and tell me Jalen Hurts (or Tua Tagovailoa for that matter) could not have similar stats when the coach leaves him in the whole game: Purdue, UNC, Clemson, Kent St., Murray St., NC State, Boston College, FSU, Wake Forest, Virginia, Syracuse. It’s about MORE than stats. Just take your runner-up trophy and go away.
• This is why I did not jump on the Khalil Tate (QB Arizona) 18-35, 159 yds, 1 TD, 2 INT, 14 rush, 32 yards in a 48-28 stomping by Oregon.

Who Should Win - Dunno.

MINKAH

Alabama safety Minkah Fitzpatrick is a finalists for three national awards:

Bednarik Award (best defensive player)

Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama
Bradley Chubb, NC State
Roquan Smith, Georgia

Bronko Nagurski Trophy (best defensive player)

Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama
Bradley Chubb, NC State
Josey Jewell, Iowa
Ed Oliver, Houston
Roquan Smith, Georgia

Jim Thorpe Award (best defensive back)

Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama
DeShon Elliott, Texas
Josh Jackson, Iowa

JC

J.C. Hassenauer was named SEC Offensive Lineman of the Week on Monday.

Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

THE SICK REPORT

• Minkah Fitzpatrick (hamstring) and Ross Pierschbacher (ankle) will likely lace them up for the Iron Bowl. Kicker Andy Pappanastos is “day-to-day”.
• Auburn linebacker Tre Williams went into the locker room in the second half of the ULM game after reinjuring his right shoulder. He is questionable for the IB.
• Michigan QB Brandon Peters in concussion protocol and will likely miss the Ohio State game.
• Kentucky tight end C.J. Conrad has been lost for the season to a lisfranc injury in his left foot. He caught 16 passes for 286 yards and four touchdowns on the season.
• To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Jim Mora, Jr. was fired from UCLA after a 5-6 campaign that had high hopes. Mora was California's highest-paid state employee. Under the terms of his contract, he is owed approximately $12.36 million. UCLA said it will exclusively use department-generated funds to cover the cost. Before bonuses, he was scheduled to make roughly $3.7 million annually through the 2021 season.
• In case you missed it, James Franklin called a timeout so he could claim ‘dibs’ on both the turkey legs at his Thanksgiving meal.
• In other news, Heather Dinnich has a humongous forehead. Must be retaining water.

Below are just the highlights for games this weekend. If you want to know the game time of Tulane-SMU, you should probably look elsewhere.

Tuesday Nov 21:

Random MAC at Random MAC 6pm/7pm ESPNU

Wednesday Nov 22:

Nothing!

Thanksgiving Thursday, Nov 23:

EGG BOWL! Ole Miss at Mississippi State 6:30/7:30 ESPN - Anything could happen in this one. For the Rebel Black Bear-Shark Ackbars, this IS their bowl game.

Leftover Turkey Sandwiches Friday, Nov 24:

Sorry, MAC. Your reign of Friday terror is over.

Miami at Pitt 11am/noon ABC - Pitt kinda sucks but it is in their house and the ‘Canes tend to play down to their competition, so...
Baylor at TCU 11am/noon FS1 - 113th meeting, Watch Karma punch Baylor in the coin purse one final time this season.
Navy at Houston 11am/noon ESPN - This was a wild one last season.
Missouri at Arkansas 1:30/2:30 CBS - It is crazy to think that these two bordering states have only played 8 times! 1906, 1944, 1963, 2003 Independence Bowl, 2008 Cotton Bowl and SEC games 2014-2016.
South Florida at UCF 2:30/3:30 ABC - USF is the last roadblock to an undefeated season for UCF.
New Mexico at San Diego State 2:30/3:30 CBSSN - Bob Davie vs Rashaad Penny.
Iowa at Nebraska 3pm/4pm FS1 - Your corn sucks. No your corn sucks!
Virginia Tech at Virginia 7pm/8pm ESPN - The Hokies have won 13 straight over the Wahoos.
Texas Tech at Texas 7pm/8pm FOX - The Longhorns should move to 7-5. Kliff Kingsbury's seat my be heating up in Lubbock. He is 29-32 and 1-1 in bowls in five seasons.
Cal at UCLA 9:30/10:30 FS1 - nighty-night.

Rivalry Saturday, Nov 25:

Eight of the Top Ten teams are playing on the road.

SEC:

Georgia at Georgia Tech 11am/noon ABC - Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate! This is no cakewalk for UGA against the Jekyll & Hyde triple option Yeller Jackets.
Louisville at Kentucky 11am/noon SECN - After a strong start, UK has sputtered a bit. A win over their state rival should amend that. Both teams are 7-4.
Florida State at Florida 11am/noon ESPN - Two pathetic teams fighting for a silver lining.
Vanderbilt at Tennessee 3pm/4pm SECN - Two pathetic teams fighting for a silver lining.
Clemson at South Carolina 6:30/7:30 ESPN - The Palmetto Bowl The surprise of the SEC hopes to ruin their state rival’s season.
Texas A&M at LSU 6:30/7:30 SECN - Will this be curtains for Sumlin?

NATIONAL

Ohio State at Michigan 12:00 PM FOX - Some seem to think anOSU is still in the CFP running.
Wisconsin at Minnesota 2:30/3:30 ABC - Minnie just lost to Northwestern 39-0.
West Virginia at Oklahoma 2:45/3:45 ESPN - Watch Baker Mayfield’s NFL stock drop before your eyes!
Oregon State at Oregon 6pm/7pm ESPN2 - The winning school receives the Platypus Trophy. It’s not a duck. It’s not a beaver. What is that thing?
Notre Dame at Stanford 7pm/8pm ABC - Not as important as it once looked.
Washington State at Washington 7pm/8pm FOX - The Apple Cup has lost some shine.

REDEYE

Utah State at Air Force 9:15/10:15 - Not much to play for other than pride.

Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

#ALABAMA

GAME 12 - IRON BOWL! Saturday, November 25, 2017
ALABAMA AT Auburn Jerdin-Hair Stadium, Lee County, W.GA
2:30/3:30 CBS - Brad, Gary, Allie.

Booger McFarland said he was a “lean” towards Auburn upsetting Alabama. Jesse Palmer hinted at the same without saying it outright.

Peace and blessings to you all!

#RollTide!