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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 12

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The one where Baker Mayfield grabbed his hoo ha and everyone got mad.

Oklahoma v Kansas Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Today I must regretfully inform you that I am not a wizard. The college football gods must have a limited appetite for chaos because this week they fasted. A few upsets took place but nobody got that upset.

The whole country, at least for this week, ain’t played nobody Paaaaaawwwwwllll. Several weeks this season I thought going in that we might have a weaker meltdown thread but each week chaos delivered us a bountiful harvest. This week I thought surely nothing crazy will happen and I was correct. Had to happen eventually, sorry y’all.

If you would like to express your rage in the comments section about how angry you are that nobody was that mad I’d advise you to do so because that sounds fun. Now let’s get down to the bit of misery we have been given this week.

Good ol’ Michigan thought they might be able to beat the mighty Wisconsin this week to have a chance to beat Ohio State next week and maybe have a chance with some funky tiebreaker to get into the B1G Championship game. One injured quarterback later the Wolverines found themselves losing 24-10 doomed to third fourth place in the division.

Oklahoma State entered Saturday with a decent hope of reaching the Big 12 championship game, but needed to win out to do so. Enter Bill Snyder. At the start of the fourth quarter OSU was down 42-20, scored 20 points to come back and had one final drive, down 5 points, to try and win it. Cowboys QB Mason Rudolph heroically crushed the Cowboys comeback by throwing four straight incompletions. Kansas State held on to win 45-40.

Oklahoma faced off with the powerhouse 1-9 Kansas Jayhawks. At the coin toss Kansas captains for some insanely dumb reason refused to shake Baker Mayfield’s hand, so Baker shook the hands of two kids in KU gear. This disrespect made Baker so mad that at one point he grabbed his wedding tackle and yelled some bad words at the Kansas bench. This earned him a suspension for next week’s game and the respect of the internet. Oklahoma won 41-3.

The section below contains language that would make a Kansas captain refuse to shake your hand. Proceed at your own discretion.

MICHIGAN, MAN:

Bold prediction: Michigan 3 Wisconsin 0 in what becomes known as the Meow Game (M 3 - 0 W).

We are going to be fucking wrecked next week.

What statement did your team make today?

"Well, that we had a game today." - Paul Chryst

This offense is incapable of moving the ball without Brandon Peters, plain and simple.

What does that mean for next week? Have you ever seen highlights of the 2008 or 2015 Michigan-Ohio State game before? No? Well, unless you enjoy snuff films; don’t.

Existence is pain.

Michigan Battlefront :( The intent is to provide Michigan fans with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking new ways to be depressed. As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Spring Game and other adjustments made to Sticker rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average injured-player rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay. We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Our team at Ann Arbour will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.

It me

FUN FACT: Both teams in today's matchup have a stylized letter M as their official logo. Wisconsin's M, however, is upside down.

Look, I dunno about you guys, fellow Michigan fans, but I hope we win.

AS IS TRADITION

no fucking shit Michigan fans are going to get upset when they play half a good game, their quarterback gets injured, and fans of other teams bombard their game threads to talk about how they suck without watching any of their game. No fan would like getting bombarded by shitty, concern-troll hot takes about how their coach sucks because he can't win a game on the road vs. a top 5 team when playing one of the worst backup quarterbacks in the Power 5.

We’re not allowed to have nice things. Really hope Peters is okay. If he’s not then we have to really hope that the news about Speight is true.

Defense just got gassed because the offense couldn’t move the ball at all in the 2nd half.

Why the fuck does it seem that every struggling QB comes in and starts dropping dimes against us?

They’re not the reason we lost but holy shit those refs were awful. If you’re gonna tell me that sliver of a frame that you can see the ball moving is enough to overturn a completed pass then the fully clear frame where DPJ’s left foot comes down first should have been enough to overturn the incomplete catch on the TD.

What the fuck was with the wildcat runs up the middle on 3rd and long? Dumbest shit I’ve seen all season.

Our time management was god damn awful today. Our youth showed a lot today with not being able to lineup properly.

Our season can now rest on ruining Ohio State’s chances at the CFP. If we beat OSU then this season is still a success considering the inexperience and talent we lost.

Michigan picks up a much needed quality loss.

BRADY HOKE NEVER LOST TO WISCONSIN

His decision to put a true freshman safety in man coverage on 3rd and 16 might be the worst coaching decision he's ever made.

That said, his unit lost 9 starters and dominated the #5 team for three quarters. When your defense gives up 17 and you lose by 14, it's hard to blame them.

It is not hard to blame an offense that constantly gets destroyed despite having better atheltes than every team they face.

could have pulled it off today if Peters didn't get hurt

when he went out it deflated the whole team because they know O'Korn isn't the answer

plz kill me. Welps...let's get some rest over the off season and then hop aboard the hype train again just it to kick me of while running at full speed...then I'll tumble down the hill and hit my head on every rock available.

Wisconsin offense:

1st down - Run Play nowhere

2nd down - incomplete pass

3rd down - improbable catch for a first down.

repeat.

I'm may be old fashioned but I think a player named O'Korn should be playing for Iowa.

We Michigan fans are some depressing motherfuckers.

COWBOYARETHEYBADATFOOTBALL:

A wizard never scores too much or little, he scores just as much as he needs to.

"How to Lose a Game in 4 Plays"

Mason Rudolph held off a rally by OSU in the 4th to lead KSU to victory.

Closest blowout I’ve ever seen

me the entire 4th quarter

I feel sorry for/tremendously envy people who do not care about college sports.

It's a good thing that, as an OSU fan, I am used to heartbreak and disappointment.

Fuck awful week shit shit on my dick fuck

The Purple Wizard strikes again.

Crazy it happened on the same day unranked Iowa State beat OSU 6 years ago.

Rudolph the red-dicked dumbbass

I've never said this before. But I want Yurcich gone. I want Rudolph gone. I want Glen Spencer gone. I want this clown car of a coaching staff fucking gone. I am so tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed.

I've had so many arguments in favor of "trusting Gundy" and being patient. Loss to TCU? Fine. They're legit. Forget the ridiculous double pass that led to that loss. No biggie. Everybody makes mistakes

OT at Texas? Ok, Todd Orlando is really, really good at his job. Running the wildcat on 3 consecutive downs at the goal line? Alright, we're quirky. It's fine.

L in Stillwater to Oklahoma? Whatever. They have their best (shudder) QB to play there in a long time. It's okay. We can still rally, be team chaos and sneak into the B12 Championship game.

This L at home a 5-5 team? No. Absolutely not. There is no amount of patience that will make this okay. I'm not asking us to be Alabama. But seriously, in a B12 era where Texas sucks, and the best competition behind OU is TCU, why in the hell are we not having 10 win seasons? I'm at my wits end here. What in the fuck do we need to do?

Multi million dollar donor? Check

Best head coach in school history? Check

Best QB/WR combo in school history? Check

Please God, Barry Sanders and Garth Brooks, Holy Stillwater Trinity, bring us some fucking joy in 2018, before I lose my mind for good and stop watching football all together. I can't do this anymore.

Jesus fucking Christ. Now I’ve gotta hear ‘kstate kicked your butt’ from my gf now.

Good night sweet prince.

So.. I'm a Miami fan now.

I dont know how I'm supposed to feel.

Kansas State doesn't beat themselves

I wonder which flavor Pringle is, because I'm Salt and Vinegar right now.

Fire Pistol Pete! He barely did anything to pump up the fans. Replace him with a golden retriever that can grab the tee after kickoff. Those are hot right now.

what a perfect time for everyone to forget how to catch a football

Inserts straw into whiskey bottle

HANDSHAKE REFUSERS

Why.

Why would you not shake the hand of the guy who clearly gets better when emotional? Why? Fucking stupid and unsportsmanlike.

WHY DID THEY JUST SHOW BAKER YELLING FUCK YOU AND GRABBING HIS BALLS FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE IM DYING

Baker Mayfield 2nd half stats: 12/14 129 yards, 2TD, 0INT, 3 crotch grabs and 3 fuck yous

Kansas used mind games

It's not very effective.

"That's kansas football in a nutshell"

Shit man we have feelings

Usually the most entertaining part of KU football games as a student is trying to get the visitors bench to acknowledge you. It's also usually not this easy.

"Damn see that bear over there? Let's poke it!" - Kansas

Baker Mayfield talking the most shit against the two worst teams in the conference is teh most telling thing about him

There’s a code amongst guys who shook Sinatra’s Baker’s hand

What if I told you the Heisman front runner ruined Christmas in the heart of every child in America? This is 30 for 30: Dick Grab

Reporter: Baker what stood out to you today?

Baker: I was impressed by both D’s

Reporter: both d’s? Kansas looked overmatched.

Baker: nonono.. both of DEEZ NUTS

ESPN=EA

BAKER MAYFIELD POISONED OUR WATER SUPPLY, BURNED OUR CROPS, AND DELIVERED A PLAGUE UNTO OUR HOUSES!

Don't let Oklahoma beating Kansas 41-3 distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Kansas Baker Mayfield is clearly a very bad man who grabs his penis and shouts obscenities when bad Jayhawks show disrespek

Don't let Oklahoma beating Kansas 41-3 distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Kansas Baker Mayfield is clearly a very bad man who grabs his penis and shouts obscenities when bad Jayhawks show disrespek

I'm sorry you feel the way you do about us now OU fans. I wish I could convince you otherwise that today was just an anomaly in our behavior and attitude. It truly was. It's not who we are. We've tried to pride ourselves in being a fairly well-behaved program, but today we were not. Hopefully you can forgive us.

Don't misread this. I'm not defending Defense and what he did. It was bad. And ESPN was obnoxious in their back-and-forth of loving then hating Baker Mayfield.

I'm severely disappointed in us and highly disappointed that a game thread between a 9-1 team and a 1-9 team was so toxic.

“We don’t mean to kill the kid.”

Continues to beat the dead horse.

"That is such a good throw. But with his antics I do not know if he deserves to play again, much less at the next level. Really despicable. Baker makes Hitler look like Mandela. May he experience a slow and painful death. Beautiful throw."

Kansas player targets Baker

"That's targeting he should be ejected."

Baker talks shit and grabs genitals

"OH MY GOD HE IS SO CLASSLESS"

the highlight of our season was talking about the opposing team’s QB grabbing his crotch and cussing at our players. About as good as most years