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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time: No running game and a butt defense

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Time to revel in the misery of others!

Some of the Big Twelve and former-Big 8 members brought the butt this weekend. A common theme was the lack of a running game and an inability to play defense. You may recognize that as “football.”

Even in victory, Ole Miss and Aggie fans tasted only defeat. Baylor need not worry about that victory thing at all -- this team is shooting for an 0-fer. Missouri was oddly upbeat about giving up “only” 31 points. Arkansas fans hated everything, especially sobriety and their placekicker. Some message board Ags got a little racist. Some others got a lot racist. Nebraska fans are doing some soul-searching and not liking what they find (hint, Callahan 2.0).

As usual, the language, grammar, spelling and thematic components should give any decent person pause. But, we’re not dealing with decency -- we’re dealing with sports fans. Accordingly, this post is NSFW.

Baylor 10 - UTSA 17

Really enjoyable to watch Liberty fans and UTSA fans celebrate in our stadium....

I hope Matt Rhule is making some progress training them to be good men, because he's totally failing at training them to be good football players.

It looks like I will finally get to see a game when Wendy's distributes tickets if you buy fries with your burger.

God we suck again....This looks worse than the darkest years of the tarp...are we sure the ghost of Guy Morris or the actual Kevin Steele is not at these games?

So anyone else jealous of SMU getting the death penalty?

Baylor Football is the toilet.

I Hope the team they are playing aren't good as Liberty!! ED. 10:05 p.m. Shit.

That awkward moment when you schedule cupcakes only to find out that you are the cupcake

Can the Baylor-Kansas game be a "loser leaves the Big 12" game?

Hey, I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to GEICO

It’s homecoming every week

Million $ jobs are tough? Who knew? Props to Rhule for sneaking in the 14 freshmen & freshmen center excuse. That was a deft touch. Kudos!

Not sure a Baylor coach should make a Penn St reference. For obvious reasons.

Can you imagine if Briles had caved to criticism and improved nonconf schedule? Good Lord.

football is fun baylor football will soon be fun again just probably not this year

Hi, I'm Quin Peters, and I'm here to tell you that for just pennies a day, YOU can help the Baylor football program find its missing defense

0-12

fans under 30, welcome back to normal

Baylor Football is more disappointing than my GPA

Rhule seems like a good guy, wonder why God is punishing him

“It’s Family. It’s Home. It’s Baylor” ...it’s a loss.

Something more exciting than Baylor Football: Domino’s pizza tracker

trying our hardest to look as bad on the field as we do off of it

My 97 year old grandmother hates Baylor football more than Satan. Today has to be like Christmas for her

Arkansas 7 - TCU 24

I hate being an Arkansas football fan.

We need a dual threat QB.

We have one: He’s a threat to stare down receivers and take sacks

Arkansas fans...forged in the fires of mediocrity. uncommonly bad football, & shattered hopes.

I've broken my ankle 10 different times in 10 different places. That being said I KNOW I could be a better field-goal kicker for Arkansas.

NEVER a good sign when the head coach is having to give a pep talk in the 2nd quarter of 1st game

Gary Danielson is cold blooded. After he already missed a 23-yard FG, he missed a 20-yarder off upright, "He was closer this time"

Those big old Jumbotron's make it easy to see how bad we are!

Hey, remember that one time that Arkansas threw the ball on 3rd and 2 and then sent out the FG kicker and he missed from 20?

Shankapotomus

It's supposed to be Razorbacks, not Potbellied Pigs.

I can’t fucking believe I drove 400 miles and paid $600 for this.

I'll say this: I'm sick of paying coaches $5 million to fucking suck every year.

Today, Cole Hedlund inspired 100s of high school and jr high kickers in Arkansas to think if he can be a D1 kicker, I can too.

But we need to find an idenity on offense. And find it FAST!

We have one: Bottomfeeders

BJ for Hugh freeze AND I will pay his escort service

Somehow, I don't think getting your ass kicked on national tv by a Big12 team is good for recruiting.

Last Razorback form tackle occurred in 1989.

Roll Tide!

Y’all muight be getting some new fans and I’m not joking,

My jr high team could have done better. And my jr high doesn't even have a football team

WE are going to get turbofucked next week.

Ewwww, pig blewie

Hogs have had a decent run in the SEC, time to move on to Sunbelt.

I still have us beating New Mexico State though!

Here I am in Florida getting ready for cat 4 Irma on the bad side of the eye and I had to endure this crap today. Can the week get any suckier? FIRE BIELMA

The only way for this to end in true Arkansas fashion would be for Bert to get fired, go to Iowa, win multiple national championships.

GRUDEN!!!!.

How much longer do I have to suffer watching fucking garbage football? I’m 47

Sorry fuckface...I'm too ddranked to think about that...

Nebraska 35 - Oregon 42

Kick off! Please don't embarrass yourselves defense. Last week's shitshow isn't gonna fly in Oregon. It will be hard to remain a die-hard if you let the Ducks hang 700+ yards and 70 points on you.

Diaco where you at dawg

Hopefully leaving Lincoln

I seriously think that Child Protective Services could take my kids for abuse if I forced them to watch the second half of this embarassment

Well isn't that horrid?

how on earth did vegas think the line of -13 was accurate??

I would rather watch the hurricane graphic repeated over and over than this miserable game.

our punting has improved!

You really have to feel sorry for our fans out there; it's like volunteering for an unneeded root canal over and over

Score before half, okay? because I need a reason for hope because this is a mental illness for me.

A first down! THE COMEBACK IS ON!!!!! WOoooooooo

Can we go get Butch Davis yet? At this point I'll take being post season ineligible for 2 years for 4-5 years of greatness.

How do you false start as a wr

I hate football

Colorado has a new DC. They're not hitting the shitter.

What an emotional rollercoaster Anger, devastation, hope, euphoria, anger, sadness, exception, drunk. All in one half.

Hire Paul Johnson and run the option! Make Nebraska great again!

Two games in, we have a defense that isn’t very good. Raise your hand if you thought we’d just be ass kickers right out of the gate.

Two games in your mom isn't very good either. What's your point?

She’s been dead for years. This isn’t surprising.

Pardon me while I exercise my right to be a fair weather fan. I just can't watch this any longer. After 50 years I'm taking a break.

Diaco came from uconn Should have known he’d suck because they probably play football with basketballs.

my dad once put an avocado in my sandwich... didn’t like it, fact I hated it, a few years later everyone was putting avocados on everything. My dad was ahead of time. I bring this up cause right now the game is ugly.

Is it a tradition that on the shutgun snap the ball has to be too high?

Moral victories. The Nebraska Way!

Volleyball school

Diaco just holding back defense. Wants to make sure we don’t show to much before northern Illinois.

I'm a huge fan but I'm not a masochist. Channel changed, DVR broken.

Riley wouldn't feel right unless he's experiencing an embarrassing loss in Autzen stadium.

We never should have allowed the Big Eight to be destroyed followed the " great idea to move to The Big 10 and no decent rival like Oklahoma

There are no Blackshirts when you allow 42 points

There is no good defense, there is only sucky offense.

Bob Diaco Is what happens during an unsuccessful abortion

Riley is literally the best hire ever

I hate it that I'm happy we only lost by 7

No one asked for a Nice Guy...we asked for a Conference Title.....

Uglier than my prom date and trust me, my mom is ugly.

So sad I have to raise my children watching this crap.

Watching Nebraska back in its Heyday you would look up and be like wow it's already the fourth quarter. Now you look up and feel like you're living in North Korea and just waiting to be put out of your misery

Jingle bells, we're in Hell Wait wrong month…. ahh Screw it

I mean, at the end of the day. Oregon won, Nebraska covered. Isn't that what most of us (realistically) expected?

I’m glad our once proud team can be a testing ground for new schemes, first time coachs, and grandpa smiles retirement!

I'm an expensive date... I require keystone lite and low standards

What is the site's policy on talking about meth, hookers and rail yard leisure living?

I am going to watch the catastrophe in Florida instead of this one.

Me: I don’t need alcohol to have a good time

Inner me: Dont need running shoes to run but it fucking helps

Guys... I don’t think we are making the playoffs.

Need some sad cat gifs or something

Switching to the good stuff

Everclear?

Drano

Missouri 13 - South Carolina 31

In other news powerhouse North Dakota somehow managed to hold that high powered Missouri State offense to 0 points. We gave up 43

The Lock Era will go down as the one that Set Mizzou back 10 years! Barry let the conspiracy happen

"Mizzou doesn't get enough respect by the sec"......... and this is why

South Carolina gamecocks what a stuoid name for a team they had help from the refs

2 plays 2 touchdowns mizzou gonna mizzou

Hurry up offense gases our defense, WR can't catch a cold and we suck.

If its any consolation Missouri State lost too.

Mizzou needs to quit "Mizzouing"

lock may be 2 of 7 but really he is 6 of 8 if those passes were caught.

what a waste of top-notch hype video

Barry Odom has caused me to get recklessly drunk for too long now. It's time to end the True Son experiment.

mizzou has lost its identity, the sec doesn't deserve mizzou,

Mizzou has shitty ass nobody Barry Odom man fuck me

highlights? this should be quick

Head Coach: Barry Odom. Defensive Playcaller: Barry Odom. Special Teams Coach: Barry Odom. Pattern? Get some help

We should never field a punt with the intention to return.

“With fire and brimstone I will distract you from the fact that I am a fucking train wreck"

My god these ESPN announcers are ascribing meaning to a team winning against a Barry Odom squad.

Just dropping by to let you know you're a trash coach, big guy

They did it. They are actually worse than last season. That is amazing.

my prescription for improvement get better coaches get better players

Final thought of the evening, before I really get into the sad-drinking phase of the evening (and after that I won't subject you to any more posts, at least I don't think I will and if I do they'll be really regrettable.)

all of this is still better than baseball

Texas A&M 24 - Nicholls State 14

8-5 is more fun with a pimp stick!

Honestly, my biggest fear is us hiring a new coach, continuing to go 8-5, and having absolutely no fun doing it

I AM SO FRIGGIN TIRED OF THE BUBBLE SCREEN!!!

3 defenders in area, 2 run into each other, complete pass. 4 defenders in are. Receiver in middle. Complete pass. If this is man to man it is PITIFUL

stop with the cane. I think it’s cursed. Trayveon’s hurt

Welp. Keith Ford is ded.

"What does it take to get a medical redshirt?" Sorry bro, we fans are ineligible for RS. Found out the hard way last season during the Ole Miss game

I can't have this year count against my fandom eligibility. My liver can;t take it,

Fun fact: Nicholls State is an FCS team Like, not part of the top tier of football universities that make up the FBS. Fun fact #2: A&M was a 36.5 point favorite in this game.

Moxie...Is built by experience. Maybe one day we can have a QB in the program long enough to get some.

Let the meaningless bowl shuffle begin’

What five other teams do you think we're beating?

In retrospect, it would have been better to lose this crapfest of a game...And let the firings begin immediately…

DJ and music stunk right along with the coaching & play. We have the talent... don't hide it!!! Don't hide 12th Man & Band with junky music!

Playing loud "urban music" between every play and over the yell leaders is a poor addition to the game day experience.

You have ruined everything about Aggie Football. Get rid of this idiot AD, the Kyle Field DJ & sumlin!!!

A suspicious letter, fake or not, deserves a response because of the "N" word? Excuse me if I just ain't buying it without proof and especially proof a white person or an Aggies.

Squeezing past Nicholls State is hardly taking care of business. Sumlin's wife cannot pen another fake hate letter to save him this week!

Hey guys, grow a set and understand that this was probably a fraudulent letter written by someone not affiliated with Texas A&M nor a fan of Texas A&M. You don't need to state the obvious, it shows a defensive posture that is unbecoming. You don't need to pander to race hustlers.

Bros, this letter was sent from a sip or a BLM supporter. Now the white people chime in with all their guilt and self professed love for humanity....

Please shoot me

You all want to know why Hubenak isn't playing? Because Sumlin knows he's only managed a mediocre product 6 years in and playing a true fish at qb in Mond gives him the perfect excuse to deflect.

“Wins" is a strong word.

TAMU vs Ark may be the shit show of the year.

How about Reeking Crew! These guys stink!

What's sumlins plan to blow this one

Our season ended last week

Anybody have a spare $11.6 Million we can borrow?

Art Briles - He's a good coach. I just wish he was a little less "pro-rape"

Ole Miss 45 - UT Martin 23

Come talk, mingle, and despair.

I am here to despair. Fuck this prevent d

I think I could throw for at least 100 yards and two TD's against UT-Martin

With the way our defense looks, I don't want to hear the word landsharks at all. More like sea slugs

UT-Martin ran it down our throats — averaged over five yards a carry up the middle. Then threw a play action pass to the third string TE who was wide open — knocked out at the 2. The QB scored untouched on the next play. None of this is an exaggeration.

More runs means less time the defense is on the field. The less they are on the field, there are less missed tackles

These mofos

LOOSER!!!

31 rushing yards in the first half. Damn we suck!

O-line doesn’t know whether to shit or wind their watch.

They run it down our throats again this drive and I go throw up my breakfast and start watching the damn Buffalo – Army game

No run offense and no run defense. I hate this team.

USE THE TIGHT ENDS. THEY ARE BIG AND JUICY

I couldn’t even enjoy the offense for watching that fuckery on defense.

In American football, you have to actually tackle the ball carrier. Someone fill the D in on this please....

Dude could have moonwalked into the endzone.

Just awful. These clowns in Rebel uniforms are going to get slaughtered when we actually play real teams

Man it shouldn’t take 10 motherfuckers to tackle one little UTM back

lol i knew our D was bad, But WOW UTM has over 100 rushing in 1st half.

fucking dickwobble gary is missing kicks

This team is an embarrassment. No defense at all. WE NEED A REAL HEAD COACH.

Ya'll pray we can somehow get Les Miles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We tackle like an elementary school chicken fight

Its not being negative to say an FCS team just ran for almost 200 yards against us. The reality is just about every SEC team will just line up and run right over us for 300-400 yards a game.

I think we may be looking at our last win for this season.

Seriously, open the Bible. Say a prayer. Think about it. What REALLY would Jesus say about getting on an internet thread and saying things like you're saying?

Time to step it up Rebels. Show the Pac12 some real football!

Where?

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Who won the meltdown?