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College Football Random Thoughts From Around the Country: One and Oh!

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A jam-packed week of College Football.

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Alabama v Florida State
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Wow. That was a lot of college football. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. If anyone out there is a divorce lawyer, I may need your services soon. If your significant other is still talking to you that may mean you missed a game or two. I’ll try to recap them for you with as many hawt taeks as possible.


So, who is the best conference again? In head to head matches, the SEC went 3-0 against the wannabees to the east.

Alabama 24 Florida State 7

The Crimson Tide got over a big hurdle in their 2017 campaign. Yet there are still some things to work on.

Tennessee 42 Georgia Tech 41 - 2OT

For the longest time, it looked like the Vols were going to blow this one and embarrass the conference. The heir to Josh Dobbs throne, Quinten Dormady, perfected his magic act of putting the entire audience to sleep for the first three quarters, trailing 21-7. But the men in orange would claw their way back behind John Kelly’s 128 rushing yards and four TDs on 19 carries.

Up by seven with 4+ to go, Tech was driving for a score that would put them up 14 but lost the ball at the Tennessee 6 yard line. UT drove the field and tied it up with a minute and a half left but the Ramblin’ Wreck was not done. Tech drove back the other way and put themselves in position to win the game on a 36-yard field goal. However, UT had a Rocky Block of their own (FLAGGED!), sending the game into OT. The two teams exchanged a pair of TDs but Tech was stopped on a 2 point conversion try to end a wild week of college football.

Yellow Jackets running QB TaQuon Marshall amassed 249 yards, 5 TD on 44 rushes (that is not a typo). Tech running back KirVonte Benson ran for 26-124 and a score. Alabama running backs will be very happy come TSIO.

South Carolina 35 NC State 28

The Gamecocks took the slap in the face of being a -6½ underdog and used it to their advantage. Deebo Samuel (keep an eye on this guy) returned the opening kickoff 97 yards for a score. The two teams went back and forth scoring touchdowns in the first half: 7-0, 7-7, 14-7, 14-14, 21-14, 21-21. It was the third quarter when SC took command. QB Jake Bentley (17/29, 215, 3 TD, 1 INT) hit Samuel (5-83, 2 TD) on a 39-yard score on their first possession. The Wolf Pack fumbled on the next possession and the Gamecocks cashed in for a two touchdown lead. NC State almost doubled up SC in total yards (504-246) but had trouble finding the end zone. I am starting to think, this is the perfect job for Will Muschamp.

SEC vs P5

LSU 27 BYU 0 - This looked like a strong matchup until I saw the Coogs sleepwalk their way past li’l ol’ Portland State the week before. LSU held the Mormons -5 yards rushing and 102 passing. They are not a good team. Good luck to them in the next two weeks against Utah and Wisky.

Derrius Guice rushed for 122 yards and 2 TDs on 27 carries. Darrel Williams added 15-92 and a score. Danny Etling wasn’t spectacular (14/17, 171-0-0) but he was a pretty good game manager. This team might be dangerous.

Michigan 33 Florida 17 - It turns out that Jim McElwain was not posturing when he refused to name a starting QB now that the world now knows they are all equally awful. Malik Zaire finished the game with a QB Rating of 4.6. Feleipe Franks was slightly better at 23.0. The Gators led 17-13 at halftime before Michigan scored three times in the first 6 minutes of the second half, breaking UF’s will. This, despite Wolverine QB Wilton Speight’s dreadful performance (11/25, 181 yds, 1 TD, 2 INT).

Florida was outgained 433 to 192 and had a scant 11 rushing yards. They sorely missed leading returning receiver Antonio Callaway and top returning rusher Jordan Scarlett who were suspended for reportedly misusing school-issued debit cards. In other news, Jim Harbaugh is still a tool.

NCAA Football: Texas A&M at UCLA
I guess I could always go home and work in my dad’s hardware store.
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

UCLA 45 Texas A&M 44

Kevin Sumlin is so fired. His Aggies went up 37-10 in the second quarter and the team started celebrating like the game was over. And it was. Just not how they thought. TAMU was absolutely dominating this game and frustrating Bruins whiny QB Josh Rosen. But then the rich kid woke up. Despite trailing 44-10 in the second half, UCLA would come back to score touchdowns on their final five possessions, all of which started on their side of the field. It was an amazing comeback win... or was it?

Looks like a bobble to me. Why no review?

It probably didn’t matter since that score was on first down with 0:43 to play. The way things were going, UCLA likely would’ve scored a play or two later anyway.

There is no excuse for blowing a lead the way TAMU did but a big part of their collapse came when starting quarterback Nick Starkel went down and true freshman Kellen Mond entered and stunk up the joint (3/17-27-0-0). All-Everything WR Christian Kirk had a quiet game (5 rec, 60 yds, 0 TD).


Arkansas 49 FAMU 7 - Austin Allen looked a bit like a scared freshman in the early going throwing a pick on the first possession. However, he would right the ship en route to a 49-7 blowout. RB Chase Hayden enrolled at Arkansas just three months ago and already looks like the next big thing in Fayetteville. The Tennessee native ran for 120 yards and a TD on 17 carries.
Missouri 72 Missouri State 43 - The good news is Mizzou broke a bunch of offensive school records. The bad news is so did the defense - and not in a good way. The FCS Bears, who were 4-7 a season ago, put up 492 yards and were 8 of 16 on third down conversions against the Tigers.
Mississippi State 49 Charleston Southern 0 - The Bullies did what FBS teams are supposed to do against FCS teams. CSU gained 33 total yards. Mr. Wonderful Nick Fitzgerald had some shining moments but was a little inconsistent and missed a few easy passes.
Georgia 31 Appalachian State 10 - UGA quarterback Jacob Eason left the game in the first quarter with a knee injury and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to his team. The Bulldogs had gone 3 and out on consecutive series before the injury. Freshman backup Jake Fromm entered the game and not only energized his team but outplayed the starter, completeing 10 of 15 for 143 yards and a TD. Nick Chubb and Sony Michel combined for 183 yards and three scores on the ground. Riley Ridley and Elijah Holyfield did not play due to separate marijuana possession charges this spring. But you can best your bottom dollar they’ll be there for Notre Dame on Saturday. #DisciplineOnlyWhenItIsConvenient
Auburn 41 Georgia Southern 7 - Mr. Wonderful Jarrett Stidham was like the MSU Mr. Wonderful - good but not spectacular. Against the rebuilding Eagles (5-7 in 2016), the Tigers QB was only 14 of 24 passing for 185 yards, 2 TDs and a pick. Kameron Martin and Kerryon Johnson had identical 136 yards and a score each. GSU could only muster 78 total yards. With those kinds of stats, you’d think Aubie coulda shoulda put up 50+. GSU scored on a scoop and score.
Ole Miss 630 South Alabama at - OM quarterback Shea Patterson was pretty sharp throwing for 429 yards and four touchdowns. Three of the scores came in a 27 point third quarter barrage. Starkville native A.J. Brown had receiving scores of 77 and 71 yards. The Rebels ground attack, however, came up with a mere 102 yards.
Vanderbilt 28 Middle Tennessee 6 - Vandy won. Do you really want more? It was a “road” game, a whole 41 miles down I-24.

Dang! This is hard!


The New Kids on the B12 Block went 1-2 this weekend.

Maryland 51 Texas 41 - To hear the flapping gums tell it this summer: “Texas is back, baby!” And then reality set in. The Texas debut of Tom “Don’t Call Me Pee Wee” Herman was ruined by Turtle Power. The Terps ran out to a 30-14 lead and hung on for the upset win. The Longhorns clawed back to make it a 3-point lead but allowed Maryland to push their lead back up to 51-34. A late Tejas TD made the final score look closer than it was.

Liberty 48 Baylor 45 - KARMA is only just getting started in Waco. The Bears lost to a FCS school founded by Jerry Falwell. And they did it at home.

Oklahoma 56 UTEP 7 - The Sooners beat up on a poor little team that has won 21 games in the last five seasons.


Oklahoma State 59 Tulsa 24 - Mason Rudolph got his Heisman campaign under way with 20 of 24 passing for 303 yards and 3 TDs. This calculates to a near perfect 96.7 QB Rating (QBR).

Ohio State 49 Indiana 21 - The Hoosiers hung around longer than they should. Indy led 21-20 late in the third before the Buckeyes woke up.

Southern Cal 49 Western Michigan 31 - It was a 28-28 fourth quarter game before the Broncos ran out of gas. Sam Darnold looked pretty pedestrian completing 23 of 33 for 289 yards but with no TDs and two interceptions.

Virginia Tech 31 West Virginia 24 - An old rivalry was renewed and it was worth every penny. It was a good ol’ fashion dog fight of a game. These two teams went back and forth before VaTech took the 31-24 lead in the 4th. After a WVU punt with a little under 6 minutes to play, the Hokies burned 4 minutes off the clock before missing a field goal. Mountaineers QB Will Grier (remember him?) drove the field and had a 1st and goal with 9 seconds but was denied after a third straight incompletion and the clock expired.


Tulsa’s starting quarterback is Chad President. He is backed-up by Luke Skipper.
(Side Note: If you are not ...urp... watching “Rick & Morty” on Adult Swim, I pity your cold empty life.)


This off-season, the NCAA enacted some rules to attempt to speed up the game. But the ESPN/ABC/Disney Cthulhu is smarter than that. They just push back kickoffs so they can blab about it more and shove more commercials down your throat. The broadcast of Indy-anOSU, for instance, started at 7pm CT. Kickoff was at 7:09 so the ESPN guys could hear themselves talk (Bama-FSU kicked off at 8:16pm ET). The game officially ran until 10:54pm CT. So instead of four hour games, we get 3:45 games plus more blabbing! Your welcome.


  • FSU - Despite the loss of Francois, the ‘Noles should have a decent season.
  • Colorado State (1-1) got upended by big brother Colorado 17-3. The Rams had three turnovers and 10 penalties for 120. The Buffs were not much better losing the ball twice and 7 penalties of their own for 59 yards. How did the Denver Broncos ever win a Super Bowl?
  • Fresno WINS! Fresno WINS! Fresno WINS! The Bulldogs got down right sacrilegious on the good brotherhood of Incarnate Word 66-0.
  • Mercer beat the Jacksonville "Don't Call Me Jacksonville State" Dolphins 48-7.


It is still early but we have had our appetites whetted. Western Kentucky might be a good candidate for a big season. Maybe re-adopt Hawaii (2-0) from a few seasons ago?

But I think I may have a good one: Kansas. They have been miserable for years but have been showing some signs of life as of late. They already have more wins (1) than they did two seasons ago (0). It is my great hope they can upset a fellow B12 team or two like they did last year. In case you are wondering, Brent’s favorite Jayhawk Daylon Charlot played but did not start or record a catch in a 38-16 win over Southeast Missouri State. Methinks their is an attitude/effort problem. Charles Baldwin, who was a member of the Crimson Tide for a few seconds, also played but did not start.


James Madison coach Mike Houston is a name to remember. Last season, his Dukes went 14-1 and won the FCS National Championship. Three days ago, his team trounced FBS East Carolina 34-14.


A year ago, Blake Barnett, Cooper Bateman, and David Cornwell were all back-up quarterbacks for Alabama. This year, they are still back-ups to younger players. Barnett saw some garbage time for Arizona State. Bateman (Utah) and Cornwell (Nevada) did not play.


We all know who little brother is. These guys are more like cousins.

  • South Alabama (0-1) kept it close for the first half trailing only 13-10, but Ole Miss turned it on with four third quarter touchdowns. USA defensive back Jeremy Reaves collected 6 solo tackles, 2 assists, a sack, a pass defensed and 2 TFL. Up next, the Oklahoma State Mullets pay a visit to Ladd-Peebles.
  • Troy (0-1) hung with Boise all night, trailing only by only four (17-13) with a little over two minutes to play when the Smurfs scored the clinching touchdown, 24-13.


UAB beat Alabama A&M 38-7. The Blazers have not lost a game since November 22, 2014! If they had loss this one, by law, they would be forced to disband again.

His enthusiasm is contagious.

The FAU! Report

Navy ran and ran and then ran some more. The Middies racked up 416 rushing yards on 68 attempts for a 42-19 thrashing. Surprisingly, the Owls had only four penalties for 5 yards. Both teams had two turnovers. According to, “There were also multiple incidences of miscommunication between quarterbacks and receivers. Timing was off. Passes that were supposed to go backward went forward.” Just another day in Boca...



Army, Navy, and Air Force are all went to bowls for the first time since 2010. And it wasn’t this cheap-ass 6-6, 5-7 record B.S. All three service academies had legit teams.

  • Air Force (1-0) - The Falcons flew by VMI 62-0. Get it? “Flew By”? 16 different Falcons carried the ball amassing 457 yards on the ground. This was just a tune-up for their big upset at Michigan in two Saturdays.
  • Army (1-0) - The Black Knights marched over poor little Fordham 64-6 (sorry). Ahmad Bradshaw led 15 rushers with 177 yards for a team total of 513 yards on the ground attack. Up next, Buffalo (0-1) comes a-calling.
  • Navy (1-0) - The Midshipmen sailed by FAU! to the tune of 42-19. Tulane (1-0) is next on the docket. (Insert Green Wave/Navy pun here.)


All non-Power 5 teams
Baylor - lost to Liberty... and Karma.
Ole Miss


A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - Clemson. With the loss of Deondre Francois, FSU is on the endangered species list.
  • Big Ten - Ohio State, Wisconsin, Penn State, Michigan all still breathing.
  • Big 12 - Okie and Okie State maybe K-State.
  • PAC-12 - Southern Cal faces Stanford this Saturday. Washington is sitting back and waiting.
  • SEC - Alabama is looking good. LSU upped their resume. UGA and Auburn are still possibilities. Despite the loss, Florida could find a way to sneak in, but they may have to win out.
  • Indies - Notre Dame probably has to win out. That hope might end this Saturday against UGA.


Flapping gums are fixating on the following:

  • Alabama
  • FSU, the new sexy is Clemson
  • Ohio State
  • Southern Cal even with a meh performance.

Kristi Malzahn

Krazy Kristi's "SHUT UP!" of the Week goes to the ACC! 0 for 3! (Now watch Aubie ruin it.)


Ima gonna just leave this here: Arizona State vs New Mexico: Blake Barnett 2 for 3 passing for 21 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT, 1 rush, -3 yards, Karma 1.


With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Last year was yet another exhibit of the voters falling in love with someone way too early. That being the case, we'll bring you "Who Will Win" and "Who Should Win".

  • Who Will Win -
    Baker Mayfield (QB Oklahoma) was good but they played a cupcake. This Saturday against Ohio State may define him.
    Sam Darnold (QB Southern Cal) lost some points this weekend.
    Jake Browning (QB Washington) was less than spectacular against doormat Rutgers.
    Jarrett Stidham (QB Auburn) also had a meh game against a doormat.
    Derwin James (S FSU) was good against Bama but did not stand out the way a non-offensive players needs in order to get the attention of the voters.
    Lamar Jackson (QB Louisville) he’s just here cuz he won last year. There is no way they are making him the first two-time winner since Archie Griffin undeservedly won back-to-back in the 70s.
    Mason Rudolph (QB Oklahoma State) was solid but he plays in Stillwater.
  • Who Should Win - It is still too soon to say. Keep in mind the Heisman is supposed to be the “most outstanding player in college football”. Not who makes the most ESPN highlights.
please stop the in-breeding. I’m only 3 years old.


You get a Medical Redshirt! And you get a Medical Redshirt! And you get a Medical Redshirt!...

  • As you probably know, LB Christian Miller (torn bicep) and LB Terrell Lewis (torn elbow ligament) are out for season. Rashaan Evans (groin) and Anferenee Jennings (ankle) will be out of action for a few weeks. Josh Jacobs (hamstring) could start practicing this week but Nick Saban does not yet know his status for the Fresno game.
  • Also on the old news front is the season ending patella tendon injury of FSU QB Deondre Francois.
  • Texas A&M QB Nick Starkel could be out for the season after ankle surgery.
  • Georgia QB Jacob Eason (sprained ligament in left knee) is out for Notre Dame game and probably longer.
Black and White TV

According to an ESPN press release, Alabama-Florida State had huge ratings of 12 million viewers. The game had a 7.3 overnight rating and a streaming audience of 237,000 viewers in the average minute. By comparison, the MTV Video Music Awards drew 5.4 million total viewers and a 2.6 rating. The game had including a 46.6 rating in Birmingham.

Below are just the highlights for games this weekend. If you want to know the game time of Austin Peay-Miami (OH), you should probably look elsewhere.

Thursday, Sept 7:

Idaho State at Utah State 7pm/8pm - I bet they thought “We’ll schedule this on Thursday and ESPN will for sure pick us up!” Nope. No TV.

Friday, Sept 8:

Oklahoma State at South Alabama 7pm/8pm ESPN2 - Dang, look at the Jags convincing a big time program to come to their house! Now that is how you get on ESPN!
Ohio at Purdue 7pm/8pm FS1 - If you have recently been convicted of a crime, watching this game will be eligible as part of your community service.

Saturday, Sept 9:


Eastern Kentucky at Kentucky 11am/noon SECN - no.
UT Martin at Ole Miss 11am/noon SECN - nope.
* TCU at Arkansas 2:30/3:30 CBS - Bert REALLY needs to win this game to separate himself from the mediocrity he’s been spewing out that last several seasons.
Indiana State at Tennessee 3pm/4pm SECN - The Fightin’ Larry Birds!
Alabama A&M at Vanderbilt 3pm/4pm SECN Alternate - pass.
* Auburn at Clemson 6pm/7pm ESPN - Gustavo blew this game a year ago. Now they are in Dabo’s house. #NeverDabo
* South Carolina at Missouri 6pm/7pm ESPN2 - Defense vs. Offense. Columbia vs. Columbia. This should be an entertaining game.
Nicholls at Texas A&M 6pm/7pm ESPNU - Poor 5-cent pieces are gonna get pounded.
Chattanooga at LSU 6:30/7:30 SECN - yuck.
* Georgia at Notre Dame 6:30/7:30 NBC - UGA has a chance to win this game if they can get their minds right
Northern Colorado at Florida 6:30/7:30 SECN - uh-uh.
Mississippi State at Louisiana Tech 6:30/7:30 CBSSN - nyet.


FAU! at Wisconsin 11am/noon BTN - Come for the laughs. Stay for the fun!
Pitt at Penn State 2:30/3:30 ABC - Game 2 of a renewed rivalry. Pitt won last year 42-39.
Tulane at Navy 2:30/3:30 CBSSN - GO NAVY!
Nebraska at Oregon 3:30/4:30 FOX - Two former SuperPowers trying to claw their ways back up.
* Oklahoma at Ohio State 6:30/7:30 ABC - Major implications.
* Stanford at Southern Cal 7:30/8:30 FOX - Winner takes a big lead in the PAC-12 and a potential playoff spot.


Minnesota at Oregon State 9pm/10pm FS1 – Why PJ Fleck took the Minny job is beyond me.
Utah at BYU 9:15/10:15 ESPN2 – Round two of Mormon abuse.
Boise at Washington State 9:30/10:30 ESPN – The Smurfs have won these kinds of games in the past. For some reason Wazzu is ranked.
Houston at Arizona 9:30/10:30 ESPNU – Houston trying to prove last year was no fluke. Rich Rod on his last legs in Tuscon. Tickets are as low as $10.
San Diego State at Arizona State 11:00 PM PAC12 – Watch Blake Barnett pout!

bama fan



Fresno State at ALABAMA Saturday, September 9, 2017, 2:30/3:30, ESPN2

Bama is favored by ahundredybillion.



Game of the Week (after Bama of course):

This poll is closed

  • 39%
    Auburn at Clemson
    (299 votes)
  • 9%
    Georgia at Notre Dame
    (71 votes)
  • 44%
    Oklahoma at Ohio State
    (340 votes)
  • 5%
    Stanford at Southern Cal
    (40 votes)
  • 1%
    Other (do tell!)
    (8 votes)
758 votes total Vote Now