NSFW: It’s Meltdown time! Week 12 — Yup, you melted down, Alabama Fans!

Hello, and welcome to the last weak week of the meltdown thread this season! If you say weak week out loud you sound like a toddler just learning how to speak. That has nothing to do with football but I like to keep y’all on your toes.

Anyway LET’S TALK ABOUT THE SPORTS! This weak week was so nearly a strong week thanks to some fighting turtles and citadelians... citadelites? citadelitions. Thanks to the Citadelitions for making Alabama fans the angriest they’ve been all season, but more on that later.

West Virginia played the most confusing team in the Power Five this week in Oklahoma State. The game was the headlining song Big 12’s magnum opus entitled “a middle finger to logic and reason; the rules of this earth don’t apply to us.” WVU ran out with a 17 point halftime lead then gave up 31 second half points to OSU and lost 45-41 in hilarious fashion.

Baylor and TCU faced off in Waco playing what was called “the revivalry” which is such a wonderful nickname for a game with such little importance. TCU was decimated with injuries on their defensive line, in their backfield, and to their first three quarterbacks on the depth chart. In a game Baylor so desperately wanted to win after taunting the toads about losing to Kansas, the Bears lost 16-9 in a performance that could not be described as “nice.”

Tennessee thought nobody would be watching them as they dropped an egg at home against Mizzou but I NOTICED TENNESSEE. WE ALL NOTICED. The volunteers volunteered up 50 points to Missouri in the garbage truck worker convention center they call a home stadium. Tennessee only scored 17 which is 33 points lower than 50 meaning that Tennessee lost by 33 points at home to the Missouri Tigers.

Alabama hosted The Citadel in the week before Auburn where Saban schedules a triple option team so he has license to put the fear of God into his players when they’re not winning by 100 after one quarter. This year it worked to perfection as mighty The Citadel was tied with Bama 10-10 at half. The internet made jokes and held their breath then were disappointed and angry when Bama eventually won 50-17. Bama fans were also mad at the half so it was a healthy dose of all-around mad onlineness.

The language below is filled with four-letter-words. Also some five-letter-words. And some other words with varying amounts of letters. Treat this section below like a hot plate on a stove and don’t let your children poke it. Or do what you want, I’m not a cop.

NOT THE BEST VIRGINIA

Oklahoma State is like Iowa State last year where they are just trying their damn hardest to ruin every teams playoff chances

Oklahoma State, welcome to the 6-5 club. We have light beer, deli meats, and all the imitation crab you could want.

”College football is so boring this year”

The Big XII Conference: “what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch”

West Virginia’s playoff hopes disintegrated faster than Holgerson’s hair

This hurts our chances of having a one loss season

SadCountryRoads.mp3

This is gonna hurt UCFs playoff chances. Idk why, it just will.

Mission Fuck OU Phase 1: Complete

Good thing WVU didn’t use a timeout on that Grier run and lost 10 seconds on the clock so they could use them both back to back for no reason.

Cries in pepperoni rolls

WVU defense couldn’t stop a fat kid from exercising

When I watch WVUs offense, I think “They are going to eat Oklahoma’s defense alive.”

When I watch WVUs defense, I think “Oklahoma’s offense is going to eat them alive”

Such is life in the Big 12.

I’ve learned WVU and OK ST fans are pretty similar. We love to hate our OC. We’re quick to predict the worst. And watching our teams has probably cost us 5 years of life because of stress.

My ex-wife was a national champion in meat judging.

Guess that’s why she left me.... :(

Jake Spavital needs to take his draw plays and shove them so far up his ass that he only says “draw play” like some cheap knock off version of fucking Hodor.

Excuse me what the fuck?

If you don’t love that, you don’t love West Virginia football.

Most teams couldn’t lose with a 17 point halftime lead and 4 turnovers if they tried.... we are not most teams

When second-half scoring is 31-10, you’d better be the 31 or you’re gonna have a bad time.

Can’t even play my cowboy video game without getting angry now. This is the worst.

SOMEONE REVIVALRY THIS DYING BEAR

16-9?

Where my Big 12 gone?

Me at my yearly physical: hey doc, I think I might have cirrhosis of the liver.

Doc: chuckles you’re too young for that. What makes you think you have it?

Me: I’m a Baylor football fan.

Doc: okay, I’m going to order up a full liver panel and blood work.

I stopped playing Let’s Go: Pikachu for this bullshit.

All I want for Christmas is a new O-Line

A fucking bungled snap on the one. Mother fucker.

Fun fact: Remove the 1 and it’s 6-9

Baylor > Kansas > TCU > Baylor

It’s the worst 3 person dutch rudder possible

Remember a few years ago when this game was a premiere high scoring matchup

This was the single most embarrassing performance I’ve ever seen out of a Baylor football team. Just so many stupid mistakes.

I hate everything

Is TCU’s D Line that good it was our O Line performance as bad as I think it was

Fun fact:

Did you know you have a 1 in 189 chance of being a victim of a violent crime in Waco?

Luckily here in Fort Worth you only have a 1 in 190 chance.

If you say 16 9, it kind of sounds like 69.

Another classic Big 12 rivalry shootout

Baylor: couple plays to move the ball. Then penalty and proceed to shit the bed.

Seriously this team is so bad and the coaching is even worse.

”He sacrificed his body for the Baylor Line!”

These announcers are weird.

That Brewer TD was cool, that Raegor TD was cool. Everything else just looks like 22 dudes sitting around eating glue and hurting themselves.

Our vaunted receiving corps that can’t get open even when Charlie isn’t getting killed

My wife tells me not to tweet when I’m mad so this is me not tweeting

TEN-I-SEE TIMES 5 IS 50 AND I SEE UT GAVE UP 50 TO MIZZOU

@Vol_Football until the leftist elites over there decide to take football serious again this will be the results. Tennessee should never lose to someone like Mizzou 50-17. Never. Pruitt will be fired 3 years from now.

Chemotherapy starts tomorrow for everyone that visited the game thread.

The SEC East makes no fucking sense

You know guys I don’t think Mizzou belongs in the SEC

Fuck Gary Danielson Jesus he’s so fucking bad Hahahahahaha injuries! Hahahahahaha Dirty Plays!

Those who believe the world would really be better off without people should beam that game thread into deep space so aliens find it and marshal every weapon they have to annihilate the human race.

Gary snickering over a player being concussed twice now. Fuck that guy.

WE GOT A MIZZOU BUTT CRACK ON NATIONAL TV BOYS

So... is Mizzou good?

Can we brigade CBS Sports to get them to fire these idiots? I think all of CBF can get behind that.

Laughing at injured players on dirty plays is just fucked up, clear biases in their announcing, and their color “commentary” is like listening to a PSA on dementia.

”I got a friend request from God”. Wtf is that shit.

He’s goes low and the guy ducks down into him. Targeting. Awesome…

Drew Lock eats hard shell tacos

Wtf that was so dirty by drew there his helmet ran into the guys arm omg Mizzou so DIRTY! CLASSLESS!

If you dive and lead with the crown of your helmet you open yourself up to that. We had it happen earlier this year with a d lineman on a sack who was getting pulled down. It sucks and its stupid but you just cant lower your eyes or you risk being gone.

yall salty fucks can downvote if you want, but thats literally the rule.

SEC refs can suck a huge dick

Hurr durr Mizzou is such a dirty team

when drew lock declares and dooley is completely exposed next year as an incompetent coach >

Hey maybe if we call the dumbest fucking plays in the god damn playbook we won’t fuck everything up

What a fucking shitshow

Kick him the hell out. Scum leading like that.

How hard is it to catch a fucking ball? You’ve been doing it since you were six

What is Tennessee booing right now

it’s almost as if one fan base is pissed because an okay season could’ve been a lot better and the other is trying to rebuild from rock bottom. Y’all crack me up bitching at each other. I’ve seen enough shitting on each other to last the rest of the season. UT/UF and UT/Bama it’s expected because it’s a rivalry, but damn this is ridiculous. Y’all acting like there’s never been dirty hits and shitty calls before and blaming it on each other as fans

Tyler Badie strips a tackle for the first down

THE CITADEL RESPECTERS

The Citadel is the only team this season to NOT lose the First Half to Alabama.

The last team was Georgia in the 2017 CFP Championship.

We were a false start away from seeing The Citadel take the lead against #1 Bama in Tuscaloosa.

Citadel puts up more points against 2018 Bama than Ole Miss, LSU, AR state, & MS state combined…

*Citadel ties the game at halftime *

Alabama: That wasn’t very cash money of you.

Well that was a fun 10 minutes

https://twitter.com/CitadelFootball/status/1063850536888352770

The Citadel have now held Alabama scoreless longer than any team this season.

Saban is going to kill a baby rabbit in the locker room in front of the whole team at halftime.

Congratulations, Citadel, the blood of that baby rabbit is on YOUR hands. Poor baby rabbit.

Bruh those 4 citadel fans are losing their shit

Coach O is furiously searching google for the basics of the triple option right now.

Game of the century is here, boys.

Pregame: why is Bama scheduling FCS teams in November?

Halftime: a FCS team is gonna beat Bama!

Postgame: Bama just beat up a poor FCS team again.

Fucking Citadel ruining No Point November smh Saban

Has Saban finally lost his magic? We’re tied with a shitty FCS team at the halftime. EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU NICK WhAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE??

This thread is like a thousand vultures circling a lion that’s been bit by a single gnat.

I think Citadel wants UCF now

I’m First half The Citadel, and I have DirecTV

And I’m second half The Citadel, and I like to shit my pants and eat it.

There were more students in the 4th quarter of Citadel than Mississippi State.

shades of ga southern 2011. i was blue in the face that day, trying to explain to freshman cymbal players that hightower didn’t spend the offseason learning to keep from biting on the pitchman.

Chaos (out indefinitely) due to blue balls

Dude had a stroke saying Tua’s name

Hi I’m first half Alabama and I have cable

And I’m second half Alabama and I have haunting memories of what Nick Saban said in the locker room seared into my brain

The non-believers blasphemed, saying “Lo, tis cupcake week. There shall be no chaos this day.”

But Lord Chaos heard them, and visited upon them his anger, saying “Look ye at the scoreboard. For I shall use the turtle and the citadel as my rod, and the Buckeye shall be laid low; neither shall the Tide roll.”

And then Lord Chaos changed his mind saying “lol jk losers”

This is what happens when Alabama plays a real team

Could the Citadel beat an NFL team?

Lol imagine taking Bama -51 against an option team

The Citadel is the best team in the country and there is nothing you can say or do to change my mind.

It’s THE Citadel. Eat shit Ohio State

Alabama is tied at 7 vs. The Citadel. It’s the first time Alabama has been tied in the 2nd quarter ALL SEASON

If Citadel pulls this off I’ll quit my job qnd take a shit on the doorstep of best buy (I work there)

GODDAMMIT CITADEL, IF YOU COST US DAMIEN AND DEVONTAE, I SWEAR BY MY PRETTY FLORAL BONNET I WILL END YOU

Citadel is just toying with us.

FINISH IT YOU SICK SONS OF BITCHES

I feel like alabama getting frusterated with the citadel is like my dad when he couldnt’ kill a fly and then kicked me out the house

Nick Saban, at halftime: “Oh shoot, that’s what it was. The playbooks are upside down. Better remember to whip Butch twice as much on Sunday.”

Alabama = Red Communists

Citadel = American soldier heroes

UCF v The Citadel for the natty

an someone upload that first half to Pornhub?

Georgia feverishly game planning the quadruple option against Bama.

Announcer: and there goes Tulip Alolan vulpix

The Citadel heading into the locker room at halftime like