ROLL TIDE

ALABAMA 29 LSU 0

TIN FOIL HATS
It was an appropriate end to the #FreeDevinWhite conspiracy idiocy: LSU LB Devin White entered the game in the second half and had zero impact on the game. He made a few tackles but they were mostly because Tide players like Najee Harris tripped over him while running has ass over (see main photo above).

LEGACY

There has been so much talk about Tua Tagovailoa and this dynamic Tide offense that it it is fitting that it was the defense that was the star of the game. Since the days of Wallace Wade, the Crimson Tide has been known for tenacious unyielding defense. And, boy, did they step up on Saturday night in Death Valley. Here is a rundown of LSU’s possessions for the game:

• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Punt
• Missed Field Goal
• Interception

Of the nine Tigers’ punts, five came after 3-and-outs. The Bayou Bengals managed 12 rushing yards on 25 carries for a microscopic 0.5 ypc. Their longest rush of the night from a running back was 6 yards. On his third carry, Alabama’s fourth team running back Brian Robinson outgained both LSU running backs Clyde Edwards-Helaire and Nick Brossette 24-19.

LEGEND IN THE MAKING

Defensive wunderkind Quinnen Williams had a monstrous night leading the defense with 7 solo tackles, 3 assists 2.5 sacks, and 3.5 TFL. Rumor has it, Q drove the team bus to and from the game as well (not really).

HALF A BAMA OFFENSE IS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER OFFENSE

Even with a gimpy knee, WR DeVonta Smith at half speed and missing WR Henry Ruggs for half the game, Tagovailoa still passed for 295 yards and connected two elite-level touchdown passes. Even his one mistake, a second quarter interception, was advantageous to Alabama as it flipped the field setting LSU up on their own 4 yard line.

Damien Harris broke the century mark for the second time this season with 107 yards on 19 carries and a score. Najee Harris was on track to duplicate or surpass that feat (6-83) until he exited the game with a twisted ankle.

NOT SO SPECIAL

But not all was well. The special teams were not great. Two extra points were missed. Jaylen Waddle had his first muffed punt of the season but fortunately recovered the ball. Mike Bernier’s first punt should have been downed inside the five but the cover team could not find the ball. His other three meh punts were fair caught at the 18, 11 and 21 for. He averaged 32.8 ypp. The kickoff return team only got one chance to perform (lol) and it was a touchback.

No non-offensive touchdowns or safeties for Alabama this week but they came awful close:

• vs. Louisville Josh Jacobs 77 yard kickoff return.
• vs. Louisville Shyheim Carter 45 yard interception return.
• vs. Arkansas State Saivion Smith 38 yard interception return.
• vs. Ole Miss Xavier McKinney 30 yard interception return.
• vs. ULL Jaylen Waddle 63 yard punt return
• vs. Arkansas Shyheim Carter 44 yard interception return.
• vs. Mizzou Drew Lock sacked by Quinnen Williams in the end zone for a safety.
• vs. Tennessee Keller Chryst downed in the end zone for a safety.

ESS-EE-SEE

Georgia 34 Kentucky 17 - The other shoe finally dropped on UK as UGA dominated this game from the first whistle. Despite the passing accuracy of QB Terry Wilson (23/29 226), the Wildcats couldn’t get their running game going (84 yards on 35 attempts) nor stop the Bulldawgs’ ground attack. D’Andre Swift and Elijah Holyfield combined for 271 yards and three scores. Jake Fromm (14/20 113-1-0) was good enough and managed to not throw any balls to guys in blue.

Auburn 28 Texas A&M 24 - Auburn had no business winning this game. The Aggies, up 24-14, were in clear control yielding one second half first down until Kellen Mond threw a terrible crossfield interception with under 8 minutes to go. This turnover gave the Tigers new life and they marched down the field for a pair of touchdown drives. All this happened with Auburn compiling 19 rushing yards and 8 punts (6 three-and-outs). The War Tigers were outgained 421-278. A win at Jerdin-Hair could’ve been a big boost for Jimbo in his inaugural season at TAMU but now it looks like they will be fighting to stay above .500.

Mullelwain?

Missouri 38 Florida 17 - After defeating LSU and ascending to No. 9 in the nation, the Gators have dropped two straight (UGA is the other) and their second of the season at home (also Kentucky). This one was homecoming. The WLOCP hangover must have lingered because UF came out flat and stayed flat. For the second straight year, Drew Lock picked apart Florida’s defense throwing three touchdown passes.

Dan Mullen finally wised up and found a nice comfy spot on the bench for starting quarterback Feleipe Franks (9/22 84 yds 0 TD) late in the third quarter. A great roar arose from the home crowd when backup Kyle Trask entered the game and promptly directed a 75-yard touchdown drive in which he converted two fourth downs, but that was all he could manage for the Gatas (6-3, 4-3).

South Carolina 48 Ole Miss 44 - This was a wild one, going back and forth. SC built an early 17-3 lead but let the Rebs tie it up at 27-27 at the half. The Shark-Bear-Man-Pigs managed to take a ten point lead in the fourth but picked up one first down on their next three possessions. Jake Bentley (22/32 363-3-0) led two touchdown drive to retain and keep the lead. Jordan Ta’amu had 379 passing yards and Scottie Phillips rushed for 141, but OIe Missy just ran out of gas at the end.

OM (5-4, 1-4) now has an uphill battle to stay above .500 with @TAMU, @Vandy, MSU remaining.

Mississippi State 45 Louisiana Tech 3 - Nick Fitzgerald had four touchdown passes and 107 rushing yards as the Bullies beat a halfway decent C-USA team pretty soundly. The Techsters gained only 238 yards and 15 first downs.

Tennessee 14 Charlotte 3 - The Vols managed one offensive touchdown, a first quarter 16 yard pass from Jarrett Guarantano, against a middle-of-the-pack C-USA team (4-5) who just started their football program in 2013. The other score was an 82 yard punt return. UT (4-5, 1-4) eked out 20 whole yards of rushing and 192 yards overall with ten first downs. Charlotte tallied two sacks and nine TFL on the Vols. It was a pathetic effort by Rocky Top.

This is a bad sign for Jeremy Pruitt at Tennessee. This program - this Tennessee Universe - needs a total cleansing from top to bottom and that begins with running off some of the “bad” element. Doing that means growing pains and losing seasons, but it is doubtful Fat F*** Phil Fulmer would be patient with that.

NATIONAL

What does it take for an unranked team to beat a ranked team. Three out five dentists recommend 38 points.

Missouri 38, #11 Florida 17 - News flash: Gators are not that good.
Arizona State 38, #15 Utah 20 - ASU shredded the two Utes, outgaining them 536-325 yards and picked off three passes.
Purdue 38, #16 Iowa 36 - Dr. Jekyll was back. PU blew a 12 point fourth quarter lead but connected on a 25-yard field goal with 0:08 to play for the W.
Auburn 28, #20 Texas A&M 24 - Jimbo’s once-promising first season at TAMU is circling the drain.
Pitt 23, #25 Virginia 13 - UVa was ranked for one whole week!

MACHINES

Michigan 42 Penn State 7 - James Franklin’s “great” team won’t be reaching “elite” status any time soon. They are barely “good”. The Wolverines on the other hand are looking really good. And dangerous. This was total domination with PSU scoring at the end against the scrubs.

Clemson 77 Louisville 16 - This game was so pathetic Dabo let his kid play - and he scored too!

BY THE SKIN OF THEIR TEETH

West Virginia 42 Texas 41 - In the ballsiest, most reckless move of the week (maybe the season), Dana Holgerson went for a two-point conversion TWICE on the Longhorns to win this game.

Notre Dame 31 Northwestern 21 - A 24-7 fourth quarter Irish lead dissolved away to 3 points until QB Ian Book scampered 23 yards for the clinching score with 2:45 remaining.

Ohio State 36 Nebraska 31 - The Cornhuskers went toe-to-toe with thatOSU. Dwayne Haskins (18/32 252-2-1) fell further behind in the Heisman chase with a lethargic performance despite the victory.

Oklahoma 51 Texas Tech 46 - Kyler Murray tried to give this game away with two first quarter interceptions deep in his own end that the Red Raiders converted into touchdowns. However, the Sooners hung close and retook the lead. TT kept answering but ran out of time.

Washington State 19 Cal 13 - Wazzu is the talk of Eastern Washington but beating Cal (5-4) by 6 at home is not swaying too many others.

JUST PAIN SAD

NC State 47 Florida State 28 - FSU’s James Blackman started over beat-up Deondre Francois and passed for 421 yards and 3 scores but it couldn’t help the rushing attack (20 attempts, 24 yards). Life choices, Cam Akers... The ‘Noles are 4-5 with @ND, BC, Fla to play.

THE WACKY WORLD OF CB

Penn State is done.

• DESI - Alabama, Clemson, Michigan, West Virginia, Washington. Mich over WVU; Bama over UW; Mich over Bama.
• CORSO - Georgia, Clemson, Wisconsin, Texas, Washington. Clemson over UW; Wisky over UGA; Wisky over Clemson.
• HERBIE - Alabama, Clemson, Penn State, Oklahoma, Washington. Bama over UW; Clemson over PSU; Bama over Clemson.

MY PICKS

• Alabama, Clemson, Penn State, Oklahoma, Washington. Bama over Okie; Clemson over PSU; Bama over Clemson.

BAMA STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE

• Louisville - You wanna see quit? This team has quit galore. Yes, they were playing #2 Clemson but the Cardinals (2-7) looked like they weren’t even trying as they were getting pummeled by the Tigers 77-16 who averaged 11.6 yards per play. They are eliminated from bowl contention and some believe Bobby Petrino could be gone within a few weeks if not days. However, they will need to come up with $14 million first. ‘Ville fans think they are going to get former Cards QB and native son Jeff Brohm to replace Petrino but I’m not so sure the Louisville job is a better gig than Purdue right now.
• Arkansas State (5-4) - The Red Wolves beat South Alabama 38-14. They outgained USA 509-260. NEXT: @Coastal Carolina, ULM, @Texas St.
• La-Laf - The Ragin’ Cajuns (4-5) fell to Troy 26-16. They will need to win two against Ga State, USA, @ULM. Very doable.
• Citadel (Nov 17) - The Fightin’ Cupcakes (3-5) defeated Western Carolina. Watch out, Bama! All three of their wins have been on the road.
• BONUS: The big win at Florida by Alabama’s SEC crossover, Mizzou, basically clinches a bowl game and likely a winning season for the Tigers (5-4) with Vandy, @Tennessee and Arky left to play.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• FAU! (4-5) - Where did this come from? Having lost four of the last five and scoring 20 total points in the last two games, the Owls broke out with 596 yards of offense in a 49-14 upset at FIU (6-3). Two FAU! running backs ran for 184 and 165 yards. They need to win two from WKU (should win), @NTex (likely loss), and Charlotte (???).
• Hawaii (6-5) - The Rainbow Warriors lost again, falling to Utah State (8-1) by the score of 56-17. If only Tua had signed with Hawaii... After a bye week, the Islanders travel to UNLV (2-7, 0-5) and hopefully end a four-game losing streak.

COUSINS

• Troy (7-2) - The Trojans defeated ULL 26-16. They now head to Georgia Southern in a fight for first place in the division.
• South Alabama (2-7) The Jags got snockered by Arky State and will not participate in the postseason this holiday season.

THAT ANNOYING STEP-BROTHER WHO STINKS UP THE BATHROOM

UAB (8-1) - The Blazers destroyed UTSA 52-3. Southern Miss is next and then a trip to Texas A&M.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

• Army (7-2) - The Black Knights snuck by Air Force 17-14 and it got a little chippy after the game was over. The Cadets could get to ten wins with Lafayette, Colgate and Navy remaining to play.
• Air Force (3-6) - The Falcons lost to Army and will need to win out to get to a bowl: New Mex, @Wyo, ColoState.
• Navy (2-7) It’s been a brutal stretch for the Midshipmen. Cincinnati handed the Middies their sixth straight loss and UCF is up next for loss number 8.

ELIMINATED

NEWLY ELIMINATED:
LSU - So, who is the real #DBU???

All non-Power 5 teams.
Ole Miss
Arkansas
Arizona
Arizona State
Auburn
Baylor
Boston College
BYU
Cal
Colorado
Duke
Florida
FSU
Georgia Tech
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Iowa State
Kansas State
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisville
Maryland
Miami
Michigan State
Minnesota
Mississippi State
Mizzou
NC State
Nebraska
North Carolina
Northwestern
Oklahoma State
Oregon
Oregon State
Penn State
Pitt
Purdue
Rutgers
Southern Cal
Stanford
Syracuse
South Carolina
Tennessee
Texas
Texas A&M
TCU
Texas Tech
UCLA
Utah
Vandy
Wake Forest
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Wisconsin
Washington
West Virginia

ENDANGERED

The following are still in the running but have a slim margin for error.

Clemson
Georgia
Michigan
Notre Dame - One loss might eliminate them.
Ohio State - Very close to being out of it.
Oklahoma
Washington State

THE CONTENDERS

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

The second of five weekly CFP rankings will be released tonight Tuesday, Nov. 6th at 8pm CT/9pm ET aired on ESPN between two college basketball games.

• ACC - Clemson finishes @BC, Duke, SC.
• Big Ten - Michigan is looking strong. Ohio State continues to struggle. Every team in the B1G West has at least 3 losses.
• Big 12 - Okie and WVU might finish the season in a double-header: the final regular season game and the B12CG. How ironic that the conference pined & whined for a Championship Game and now that they have one it might eliminate them from the playoffs.
• PAC-12 - Wazzu (8-1). Even if they win out, they will need a bunch of chaos in other conferences.
• SEC - Alabama is the only remaining unbeaten team in the conference. They will face one-loss UGA in the SEC Championship Game.
• Indies - Notre Dame struggled with Northwestern. With no Championship Game, the Irish need to be winning decisively. I know what you are thinking: “But they are undefeated!” Yes, but they are barely winning many games. 8 points over Ball State at home, 5 over Vandy at home, 5 over Pitt at home. Don’t be surprised if an undefeated Notre Dame team with no championship game gets left out. Remaining: FSU, Syra, @SoCal.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Utah, Houston, Iowa, Virginia, Texas A&M were all dropped from the schizophrenic AP Poll rankings. Washington, NC State, Iowa State, Michigan State, and Cincinnati took their places.

Alabama again has all 60 first place votes in the AP poll. For several weeks, 2 voters in the Coaches Poll have voted Clemson at the top. One voter has been swayed to Bama with one holdout (Saban?) still clinging to Clemson. The Southeastern Conference has 6 teams ranked in the AP Poll:

#1 Ala
#5 UGA
#9 LSU
#12 UK
#18 MSU
#19 Fla
(TAMU dropped out; Aubie not ranked)

Here is my half-ass as-of-now ranking:

1. Alabama
2. Clemson
3. Michigan
4. Oklahoma
5. Notre Dame/Georgia

LET’S GO BOWLING

49 teams are now bowl eligible for the 80 bowl slots. 23 teams have 7 or more losses and will not go bowling this season. UTEP’s win over one-win Rice leaves no winless FBS teams.

WHAT HAPPENED?

• Western Kentucky - Willie Taggart gave WKU two winning seasons. Bobby Petrino brought cache. Jeff Brohm led the Hilltoppers to a pair of double-digit win seasons. Now in the blink of an eye, it has all gone to crap. They were 6-7 with a bowl loss last season but are now 1-8. Mike Sanford was probably too young (34) and too inexperienced when WKU hired him before the 2017 season.
• Hawaii - Our poor adoptees got out to a great start to the season winning six of their first seven but have lost four in a row since then.
• Colorado - The Buffs won five straight to open the season and followed that up with four straight losses.

STAT OF THE DAY

• UMass WR Andy Isabella caught 9 passes for 303 yards in a 3 OT win over Liberty.

HURRICANE RESCHEDULING

South Carolina and Akron have agreed to meet in Columbia, SC on Dec. 1 to make up for cancellations both had due to weather. The Gamecocks game with Marshall was cancelled due to Hurricane Florence back on Sept. 15. Akron’s trip to Nebraska on Sept. 1 was halted because of persistent lightning.

At the time the agreement was announced last Friday, SC was still 4-3 (currently 5-3) and probably doubted they could get to win number six with road games to Ole Miss, Florida and Clemson, and a sole home game against Chattanooga. What a sad statement for a team that many thought would challenge for the SEC East crown at the beginning of the season.

At one point, the Cornhuskers (2-7) were trying to reschedule with the Zips but with their season being a wash (lost first six games), it holds less importance to get that game back on the docket. For their part, Marshall (5-2, 3-1) could not commit to Dec. 1 while still in the running for the Conference-USA Championship Game played on the same day.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to SEC commissioner Greg Sankey, LSU AD Joe Alleva, and the SEC officials. The preposterous #FreeDevinWhite hysteria reached ridiculous heights over the two weeks leading up to Alabama-LSU and spun out of control. At some point, Sankey should have picked up the phone and told Alleva he needs to make a statement. It is fine if Alleva wants to fight for his school and White but he needed to show some leadership and tell the fanbase to calm the F down and let the adults take care of the situation.

Lo and behold when game time came, Alabama receiver Henry Ruggs took an obvious targeting shot from LSU Grant Delpit in the first quarter. The moment that happened, KK had visions of the Atlanta Braves 2012 Wild Card Infield Fly Rule chaos. And that was the Braves fans - the most laid back fans - and we’re talking baseball. This situation was college football with 100,000+ drunk and rowdy LSU fans. If that targeting had not been overturned, things could have gotten ugly. To be honest, KK is glad Delpit wasn’t ejected. She wanted to see the Tide win WITH the LSU safety playing the whole game. But the overturning of the targeting seemed... questionable. But KK accepted that and moved on.

But then as the game moved on, more and more BLATANT fouls against LSU were not called. I can’t stand when people complain about holding but there were several clear violations by the Tigers OL - tackling Tide D-linemen and pulling on jerseys. In addition, the after-the-whistle hit on Tua could have been devastating. KK has a hard time believing they did not hear the whistle or know they play was dead. There was also a kick catch interference on a punt fair catch just before the half and a few others instances of obvious no-calls. Were the officials instructed to call the game “soft”? Were they just being cowards? Or were they just that inept?

On Monday’s Paul Finebaum Show, the host was asked what he thought about the officiating. His diplomatic response was that in the past he had defended the refs but in this game, he had better just hold his tongue. That is about as much a condemnation you will get out of him.

HEISMAN HYPE

With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone way too early. This year, that love may last.

Favorites (in no particular order)-

The Tide QB is starting to separate from ther pack.

• Tua Tagovailoa (QB Alabama Soph.) - Even with a sore knee, Tua looked really good. His two touchdown passes were works of art. As an added measure, he outran the vaunted LSU #DBU for a 44 yard touchdown.

Also-

• Kyler Murray (QB Oklahoma Jr.) passed 20/35 for 360 yards and 3 scores with 11 rushes for 100 yards and a TD, but had two costly interceptions that might have doomed the Sooners against a better team.
• Dwayne Haskins (QB thatOSU RS Soph.) was averagely mediocre (18/32 252-2-1) in a 5-point home win against Nebraska (2-7).
• Quinnen Williams (DL Alabama RS Soph.) - The voters like to put a defensive player on the list just so they can say “it’s not just a QB/RB award.” If they are going to do that, Q is most deserving to this point - much more than that guy in Houston who is having a mediocre season and has not even played the last two games.

No Way-

• Will Grier (QB West Virginia Sr.) - He made highlight reels this weekend but has been too inconsistent voer the season.
• Benny Snell (RB Kentucky Jr.) - This is the last you will see him on this list.
• Jonathan Taylor (RB Wisconsin Soph.) - Same as above.
• Ed Oliver (DT Houston Jr.) - Does not deserve a single vote.

If I had a vote:

• Tua

SO MONEY

Do not despair! You do not have to start hating Vince Vaughn! Sorry to break it to LSU fans but the actor from movies such as Swingers and Old School is not a closeted Tigers fan. He is actually filming a movie in Mobile, Ala-BAMA and made the trip over to B.R. just for the fun of it. Although... he might be a Tide fan now. Vaughn is filming a movie called Arkansas with Liam Hemsworth (Hunger Games), Vivica A. Fox (Kill Bill), John Malkovich (Being John Malkovich) and Michael Kenneth Williams (“Omar” from The Wire). It is written and directed by Clark Duke who you may remember as the nerdy guy in glasses from Hot Tub Time Machine.

Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

THE SICK REPORT

• Nick Saban reported that WR Henry Ruggs (leg) should “be fine” and was held out of practice on Monday but could be back on Tuesday. Najee Harris sprained an ankle. Saban stated that the sophomore running back is day-to-day. No word on Jalen Hurts.
• Alabama wasn’t the only team to get bit by the injury bug in Red Stick. LSU safety John Battle suffered an apparent ankle injury and is considered “50-50” to play against the Razorbacks.
• Georgia coach Kirby Smart is optimistic that starting center Lamont Gaillard (hyperextended knee vs. UK) along with right guard Ben Cleveland (broken fibula on Sept. 22) will be available for the game with Auburn. Receiver/return man Mecole Hardman suffered an ankle injury, but he should be a go.
• Wake Forest (4-5) says starting quarterback Sam Hartman will miss the rest of the season with a leg injury. With @NCState, Pitt and @Duke to play, they’re screwed.
• Last Wednesday at practice, senior running back Marcelias Sutton broke his leg. Oklahoma has just three healthy scholarship running backs: Sophomore Trey Sermon, redshirt freshman Kennedy Brooks and true freshman T.J. Pledger.

DRAMA

• Sooners redshirt junior running back Rodney Anderson, who sustained a season-ending knee injury against UCLA on Sept. 8, announced his plan Thursday to forgo his redshirt senior campaign and enter the 2019 NFL Draft. The 2018 preseason All-Big 12 selection had 1,161 rushing yards and 13 rushing touchdowns a season ago.
• To nobody’s surprise, David Beaty is out as Head Coach at Kansas. Somehow, he survived seasons of 0–12, 2–10, and 1–11. But 3-6 will simply NOT DO! CBS Sports suggests Les Miles, Neal Brown and Mike Locksley are top candidates.
• What a mess in Maryland. The University reinstated head coach DJ Durkin after being on paid leave while they investigated accusations that players have been mistreated. After an outcry from players, parents, and social media, they reversed the decision and decided to terminate him. UM President Wallace Loh has announced he will retire at the end of the school year. No word on AD Damon Evans who you may recall was fired from UGA after being pulled over for DUI with a woman who was not his wife in the car and her panties in his lap. He also tried to bribe the officers and use the ol “do you know who I am?” defense. How he got the Maryland job and is keeping it blows my mind. To be honest, I have not been following this story close. It’s possible Durkin did nothing wrong but UM had to know it was a toxic situation and things were not going to get better. The real disturbing trend is that just like Tennessee’s hiring and un-hiring of Greg Schiano, the administration bended to the will of an unknown quantity of angry Tweeters. Meanwhile, OC Matt Canada has been serving as the Terrapins’ interim head coach and has done a good job. He should get the full-time job but who knows with that insane asylum in College Park.
• The Maryland Rivals site reports that former Vols coach and current Bama intern Butch Jones is interested in Maryland job. I am sure Fat F*** Phil Fulmer would like to get him off the UT payroll.
• From the WFT Dept: New Mexico’s leading tackler Evahelotu Tohi was suspended for beating up and hospitalizing a teammate the same day the Lobos lost 61-19 to Utah State. Why this guy was not immediately kicked off the team, expelled from school, and given a Go Directly to Jail card is beyond me. UNM coach Bob Davie waited two days before suspending the linebacker. The former Notre Dame head coach is already in some hot water with fans and the NCAA.
• Rutgers may suck in football but they are not following the examples of their cohorts in the Big Ten when it comes to off-field troubles. They recently had an issue with a player who appeared on the brink of an actual double-murder of an ex-girlfirend’s family members. This could’ve been another tragic news story, but guess what Rutgers did, Penn State and Ohio State! They reported it! From nbcsports.com:

...the 22-year-old Bullock was upset after and his girlfriend ended a long-term relationship. He told the coaching staff of his struggles with the breakup, then made some unsettling comments, considered threatening to his ex’s family, to one of his teammates. The unidentified teammate passed the information on to an assistant football coach, who in turn passed it along to university officials before it ultimately ended up in the hands of law enforcement.

• Urban Meyer thinks the above anecdote is a bunch BS. Speaking of Pinocchio, did we call it or what? Two weeks ago, Random Thoughts predicted “Nurse Meyer is pouring through medical journals looking for a disease for her husband to come up with so he can parachute out of this burning plane.” And looky here. Feel sorry for poor Urby. He’s got a brain cyst and that causes him to forget stuff. Ya know like the 32 times he was told one of his assistants was beating the crap out of his wife. One of the biggest symptoms of a brain cyst is the uncontrollable urge to delete text messages.

EYEBALLS

Have you heard the detractors cries of “Bamma iz bad for college footballz!”? Oh yeah? According to CBS, the Alabama-LSU game was “the highest-rated college football game on any network this season earning an average household metered market rating/share of 6.7/13, up +81% from last year’s LSU-Alabama game in prime time.”

Top 5 Rated Markets for Alabama-LSU

1. Birmingham - 52.6/70 - That is 52.6% of all households in Bham. 70% is the percentage of all TVs in the Iron City that were turned on.
2. New Orleans - 38.3/56
3. Knoxville - 19.8/31
4. Nashville - 18.9/30
5. Atlanta - 18.7/33

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the SMU-UConn game, you can find the details here.)

Tuesday, Nov 6:

Kent State at Buffalo 6:30/7:30 ESPNU - MACtastic

Wednesday, Nov 7:

Ohio at Miami (OH) 6pm/7pm ESPNU - MACalicious.
Toledo at Northern Illinois 7pm/8pm ESPN2 - MAC-a-doodle-doo.

Thursday, Nov 8:

Wake Forest at NC State 6:30/7:30 ESPN - Really, ACC?

Friday, Nov 9:

Louisville at Syracuse 6pm/7pm ESPN2 - This would be better if it was a basketball game.
Fresno at Boise 9:15/10:15 ESPN2 - This may be the best non-Saturday game of the week.

Saturday, Nov 10:

SEC:

South Carolina at Florida 11am/noon ESPN - The Gators have looked mighty bad the last two weeks. The Jorts fans are already growing restless with their new coach.
Ole Miss at Texas A&M 11am/noon CBS - Two teams desperate for a win coming off disappointing losses in which they both blew leads.
Vanderbilt at Missouri 11am/noon SECN - Mizzou may have righted their ship.
Kentucky at Tennessee 2:30/3:30 SECN - This one might be closer than people think.
Auburn at Georgia 6pm/7pm ESPN - UGA has clinched the East. Can they keep their heads on straight vs. fluky-bouncey-Jekyll-and-Hyde Aubie?
LSU at Arkansas 6:30/7:30 SECN - LSU needs to thank the scheduling gods they get Arky a week after their 29-0 demolition.

NATIONAL:

Ohio State at Michigan State 11am/noon FOX - Sparty has not beat the Buckeyes in East Lansing since 1999 (and 1988 before that).
TCU at West Virginia 11am/noon FS1 - Trap game? Nope, TCU is awful.
Oklahoma State at Oklahoma 2:30/3:30 ABC - Can the Cowpokes catch Okie looking ahead?
Washington State at Colorado 2:30/3:30 ESPN - Wazzu tries desperately to catch some eyeballs.
Florida State at Notre Dame 6:30/7:30 NBC - Does FSU have a pulse?
Texas at Texas Tech 6:30/7:30 FOX - The Red Raiders are due for scoring an upset.
Clemson at Boston College 7pm/8pm ABC - Can anyone in the ACC slow down the Tigers?

40 WINKS

Cal at Southern Cal 9:30/10:30 ESPN - Clay Helton might be coaching for his job in South Central L.A. The Trojans officially came off probation in June of 2014. No more excuses.
UNLV at San Diego State 9:30/10:30 ESPN2 - The Aztecs will get win number eight. Vegas will get loss number eight.
Colorado State at Nevada 9:30/10:30 ESPNU - The Rams are a loss away from bowl elimination. Nevada is 5-4.

Only $5 for tonight’s basketball game! #BURT!

#ALABAMA

ESPN and the SEC and all these other sites are trumpeting that Alabama won their 900th game. Naw, man. It’s 920 wins. If Ole Miss, UNC and Miami can count all their wins, than so can Alabama.

Nick Saban now has 232 FBS/I-A victories.
(For clarification, this list is FBS/I-A wins only. No wins while coaching at FCS/I-AA or lower level schools are included.)

GAME 10, Saturday, November 10, 2018, 2:30/3:30

Mississippi State at ALABAMA

CBS - Aw, jeez. Again??? Announcers: Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson with Jamie Erdahl on the sidelines.
Better yet, listen to Alabama Radio or Tune in radio app, Alabama Crimson Tide Network. Your ears will thank you.
Bama is favored by 25 with an over/under of 51½.

Game 11, Nov. 17: The Citadel at ALABAMA 11am/noon SECN
Game 12, Nov. 24: Auburn at ALABAMA 2:30/3:30 CBS
Game 13, Dec. 1: SEC Championship - ALABAMA vs. Georgia 3:00/4:00 CBS

#RollTide