NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! LSU is BIG mad

Welcome to the week I’m sure to get significant fan mail from happy LSU fans. Oh boy, it feels like Christmas!

It’s week (checks calendar) 10 and did we ever hit the jackpot for one angry fan base. A few other groups of fans got real mad this week other than LSU, but some schools {glares at SEC East} did not partake in the doctor recommended amount of internet screaming after embarrassing losses.

We cannot force every fan to share their angriest thoughts online; we can only enjoy the ones who do decide to share with the class. It doesn’t matter. Even if I included just the headliner in this week’s meltdown thread it would still be one of the greatest columns of the season.

Let’s dive into all the fun. Texas makes a second consecutive appearance here after a soul-crushing one-point loss to West Virginia. Texas iced WVU’s kicker just before an attempt that he missed. He followed it up by making the second try that actually counted. The Longhorns again iced the Mountaineers on a last-minute two-point attempt in which WVU converted the play before anyone realized it was blown dead from a UT timeout. It didn’t matter; Dana Holgerson drew up a play to run Will Grier into the end zone to take the win in Austin 42-41.

Texas A&M wanted to be close to their UT friends making back to back appearances when they dropped a deuce against Auburn. The Aggies dominated Auburn for nearly the entire game but gave up 14 points in under five minutes to blow the lead and lose to the Tigers.

Florida had their homecoming game against Missouri, a thing that should go totally fine. This dejected group of men got their teeth knocked out in a 38-17 gator BBQing. The game was not as close as the final score indicates, as is the case with many UF losses.

#3 LSU played host to an undefeated Alabama team in a night game billed as the greatest game this season. Coach Orgeron and the team talked all week about how they weren’t scared to play Bama and how LSU is where you go if you want to beat Alabama. The Tide shut out the Tigers 29-0. This win makes it now eight straight recruiting classes who have come up empty at the school where players allegedly go to beat Alabama.

The language below is filled with foul language and also Coach Orgeron quotes. Use caution when reading either.

BEVO DIED FOR THIS

Pick one:

Big 12 Refs

Big 12 Defense

Yeah can I get uhhh Ejection with a side of Unsportsmanlike Conduct and a large soda

The games are rigged. In case you haven’t noticed. These shitheads aren’t just incompetent they are rigging the games. That offsides call on the “trick play” entire team false start was the last straw.

It’s a joke to them, the defensive holding call on a run play at the beginning, it’s just a joke. These refs are all on horse steriods too. Disgusting.

Rig 12 conference full of rape and abuse cover ups, combined with the rigged games, ain’t worth another dime or watching another Disney commercial.

All refs need to be drug out of the stadium and shot

Todd Orlando fucking sucks Fuck you you worthless motherfucker. U have fucking sucked the most watery, parasite ridden diarrhea since 45-24 OU. You need to be the first one fired you fucking cocksucking son of a bitch.

“Icing” the kicker: that shit is stupid especially on a kick that is a longer kick and the kicker is feeling rushed

those 3 points that WVU got from being able to re-kick that long kick to end the first half really ended up being costly

that shit was not totally what cost Texas the game, but things sure would have been different without those 3 points and WVU would have had to play a bit different game in the second half especially late in the second half

Dana looks like he’s at a parole hearing there

Thanks defense, and your supreme tackling abilities.

Texas and Texas Tech have jointly contacted the Big 12 office and declined having any referees at next week’s game. They have elected to just call their own penalties.

Remember when Charlie Strong pretended that the cake was baked? No wonder he was fired.

That was one of the most horribly officiated games I’ve ever watched.

Haha fucking end me.

https://imgflip.com/i/2lnh4x

Watching Longhorn football is hazardous to everyone’s health!

COUNTRY ROADS TAKE ME INTO THE FUCKING VOID

Texas is

back

not back

---->the friends we make along the way

Will grier: NO OT TONIGHT

Told my wife the qb is gonna walk this in. Qb walked it in. I wish I had been wrong. Fuck

Under the Mack brown era in a game against Texas Tech one of our receivers took a Pistol Up and holstered it. He was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct, and Mack complained that players throw Horns down all the time and it should at least be consistent calls. I felt that was fair, but he caught a world of shit for saying it.

Horns down is disrespectful to Texas, but isn’t that the fucking point? They aren’t playing badminton out there. Unless it is just over the top flagrant taunting, keep the fucking flag in your pocket.

Texas:

[ ] Back

[ ] Not Back

[✓] Bevo on suicide watch

Mountaineer? I barely know ‘er!

Looks like Holgerson has Big Dana Energy :/

JIM BOO FISHER IMO

Ahh yes... Welcome to November, Aggies.

This is the first win at home for either team in the history of the series.

Wow that last extra play was even more disappointing than I imagined

Every aggie knew he was getting sacked with a three man rush, don’t lie.

Mond is not the answer. Starkel must be fucking terrible in practice and have no idea what the playbook is if Mond keeps getting the starts. His decision making is terrible, and his vision is even worse.

This secondary might be worse than our QB play. Our DBs get beat on EVERY SINGLE PLAY. The only reason we weren’t blown out the past 3 weeks is because of dropped passes.

To the people laughing at the Jimbo hire, this is his first year. I expected us to go 6-6 or 7-5. These are not his guys. Give him another year or two and I do believe he can have this team performing at a high level. But for the time being, we are straight ass my dude.

We have serious talent issues basically across the board. Realistically we are building for 2020. Next year we’ll be a very young team with Georgia, Clemson, Bama, LSU, and the rest of the SEC on the schedule. I can’t imagine we’ll be great recordwise then either.

Still can’t believe we can dominate the game that badly and play ourselves into a loss. Just pathetic.

Mond can’t even complete a forward pass right now.

Gus is the Schrödinger’s cat of college football -- always in a state of being fired and not being fired.

So it wasn’t a Sherman problem, or a Sumlin problem. Turns out it was an Aggie problem all along.

And with that devastating Loss A&M will drop to #22 in the CFP poll, ya hate to see it.

A&M let Auburn score 14 points in less than 6 minutes to lose

This is a really interesting matchup between “the home team always shits the bed in A&M Auburn” and “this is the time of year when the wheels completely come off for A&M”

Got Jimbo saying fucking on live tv. so we have that going for us

Oh, they haven’t showed that they can stop the run? LET’S PASS.

I see no reason to pass today. Let’s just go full Army.

Its tiring rooting for this team man

I think I’m finally done. Aggie football is ruining my life. I’m sick and tired of this program.

For 5 years on these boards, I’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. WE WILL NOT WIN CONSISTENTLY IN THE SEC UNTIL WE CAN RUN THE BALL AND STOP THE RUN. WE WILL NOT WIN UNTIL WE CAN RUN THE BALL AND STOP THE RUN.

We held Auburn to 19 yards rushing and Trayveon was dominant all game. Corbin looks to be a future star. I don’t understand.

Now we get to look forward to the social media posts from the players talking about what dawgs, savages, and beasts they are on the field. They are losers. That’s who they are. Accept it.

Cue the Dennis Green memes. “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE”.

Next season, they are gonna feed us more BS on how this is a different team. Different season.

6 straight season, this program has been 5-2 or 6-1 after 7 games and not finished better than 8-4, excluding the bowl game.

Wait until next decade. THEN we’ll show them.

Well, at least ticket pull won’t be crowded for Ole Miss

Whoever kept letting Mond play really believes in that old saying “fool me once, shame on you” except they end it with “but fool me 86 times, shame on me.”

Herbstreit: A&M will win out the rest of the season

November: Not so fast

bAs IsNt a ReAl ThInG

Furk continues.

PUTTING THE LS IN DAN MULLEN

Petition to stop making Mizzou our homecoming game

Friendship ended with orange endzones.

Imagine getting blown out by Missouri on homecoming

It’s almost as if Missouri isn’t shit

Maybe we should just be a triple option team and never throw the ball.

I’m no master lip reader but when Mullen was just talking to Drew Lock after the game I think he said something like “holy fuck do I wish Franks had half the skill your little toe has”

Had fun being good for a week or 2 this year! Back to our cave we go.

I don’t want to see Feleipe Franks play football again

I just don’t understand how the fuck this team beat LSU

3 r d a n d g r a n t h a m

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Oh no we suck again dot gif

We were out of the SEC title and Playoffs race. There is absolutely no reason why Felipe wasn’t pulled earlier. Mullen had no faith in him at one point last week given the play calling and then this week again Franks was just not cutting it. Unacceptable to keep him in and not give game time to someone else. Anyone else. Frustrating.

Very disappointed in the effort today. Dan sold me on our team not always being the fastest or biggest, but always being the hardest playing team on the field. That’s simply not been true today.

I try to steer away from the Franks argument because most only look for ways to validate what they already assume is right. I trust Dan and Co. to make the best call for us. Dan has spoiled me to expect those wrinkles he’s created this season. I sincerely think he had them today, but Franks failed to execute over and over. He may still be the best guy, and that’s depressing. Most of us checked this game as a big ass question mark at the top of the season. Obviously never happy with losing, but today was particular frustrating because it looked like regression in all aspects.

That was a fucking disgraceful performance, these pinheads should feel ashamed of themselves, though if there’s one positive, it’s that Feleipe has probably played his last game as a starter

https://i.imgur.com/SYmxhOc.jpg

Blue team bad.

Lol the crowds not booing because they want a flag, they are booing because Franks has sucked in this game.

Do you guys think we’ll ever get a D1 QB?

Best line of the whole game, “Florida got bamboozled in McElwain deal”

THE O IN COACH O STANDS FOR O POINTS

Lose Out. Who cares. I really don’t. No more moral victories. Bama is the standard. This was the most embarrasing loss to them ever. Accept this loss as being that. Absolute trash. Don’t give a shite about Georgia/Auburn/Miami win. Fire everyone and go do anything different. Downvote away!!!

”I’m satisfied”

-Nick Saban

Damn he’s getting soft.

LSU hosted 45 recruits tonight. “See what we are up against? We need you to help us beat them. So what do you say?”

*screams and runs away*

The only thing more shocking than LSU laying an egg tonight is Tua actually played in the 4th Quarter.

Tua: “Man that 3rd quarter felt really long”

I AM ONCE AGAIN REMINDED THAT I DON’T WANT BAMA

Watched this whole video because I hate myself but also because it’s funny

Michigan: Almost shuts out a top 15 team at home

Alabama: “You are like a little baby, watch this”

being in the SEC with this Bama team is like playing a mobile game, where everyone spends a couple bucks, but one asshole spent $700 for the best possible character upgrades.

You assholes say “We Want Bama” and cheer each other on. You jest and talk about how you would show ol’ Saban. You fuckers just don’t understand what it’s like when you don’t even have a god damn choice.

WE WANT UAB

I literally could not want Bama less

Who knew Tua throwing his first pick would be the turning play of the game for Bama.

We’re gonna look back at the end of next season and this will be the one pick Tua threw as a starter and we should throw a damn parade for it.

I literally could not want Bama less

Who knew Tua throwing his first pick would be the turning play of the game for Bama.

When LSU fans realize that the Tigers have scored less than 10 points per game in their last 8 matchups against Bama, including three shutout losses

Bama ain’t played nobody cause ain’t nobody can play Bama.

I know it was 4th & 11 but LSU basically went for the not a shut out lost going for that field goal. It was still a 3 score game even if they made it.

dont let the score deceive you this game was not that close

This is like in NCAA Football where you get like 8 years in and stop having fun because you never lose and there’s no challenge. Only its everyone besides Alabama not having fun anymore.

https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1058909250326536192

”If you have a big butt in front of you, you’re doing something good”

That’s peak Gary Danielson

Waited all game to post “All that for a drop of blood”, but no blood was ever drawn. Bama is more powerful than Thanos.

Fuck it, put UCF in the 4th spot so we can finally stop hearing about them after Bama skull fucks them

Alabama should consider resting their starters in the SEC championship game.Alabama should consider resting their starters in the SEC championship game.

alabama elected to kick ass

Points against Alabama in 2018:

Louisville: 14 Arkansas State: 7 Louisiana: 14

LSU: ZEREAUX

https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1058915593536069632

AFter years of struggling, I think Alabama may finally have a shot this year.

I guess Tua still doesn’t have experience facing elite defenses in the regular season.

Orgeron has been shut out twice in three years against Alabama

Les Miles was shut out once in ten years against Alabama

This can all be traced back to the Devin White targeting call

”Heh gah meh,” Coach O said of Tua. “Tha’ farghin Tooa boomed me.” Coach O chortled, “Hehs sah guhd,” repeating it 4 times. He then said he wanted to add Tua to the list of players he works out with over the summer.

Tua’s brother just took the recruiting visit to have a better view of his brother lighting LSU the fuck up.

Coach Saban, how’d you keep LSU off the scoreboard?

Saban: Well, their OC’s playbook is from 2002 so I know it very well.

Alexa play Dixieland Delight

Devin White enters the game with trumpets blaring and smoke machines billowing around him.

He gets a tackle to stop a 2 yard gain.

Tua completes a 35 yard pass the next play.

LSU is still losing by 19.

Gary Danielson is rendered speechless

I had to run to the bathroom really quick and now I have more rushing yards than LSU

apology for poor english

when were you when LSU dies?

I was sat at home sucking tiger dick when Gary rings

’LSU is kill’

’neaux’

@LSUAthletics Coach O stated you come to LSU to beat Bama well you didn’t when will LSU higher-ups get coach O should be fired the ad fire, offensive coordinator fired,defensive coordinator fire, special teams coach fired.

The year was 2020, a tired Alabama team returned to Tuscaloosa after their 126-22 win over Clemson in the College Football Championships. After exiting the bus, the team gathered for some final words from their coach and leader, Nick Saban. ”Guys, we went out there and got it done today, I’m proud of all of you and our collective accomplishments. Roll Tide.” As the crowd began to disperse Saban called candidly, “Tua, can you come here for a minute.” The young, but weathered quarterback approached his coach. Saban analyzed the face of his pupil, a smirk covered the face of the Hawaiian native. Was it a smirk of conceit, Saban pondered; no, it was the smirk of a man full of pride. A man who was aware of his accomplishments, understanding of what they meant, and proud to be the person who emodied those achievements. ”Tua, when you first came to this team, I immediately understood what it meant for our program. With you, I knew our program was destined for greatness. 18 for 20 with 18 touchdowns in a championship game is more than I could have ever dreamed.” Tua could feel water condensating on the corner of his left eye. He was finally receiving the praise from his coach that he had desired since his first footstep in Tuscaloosa. The praise he never received but he always knew he was worthy of. The acclaim of a legend. ”I’ve watched you develop from a boy into the man that I see now in front of me. You know, I’ve never had a son of my own, but when I see you... I...” The decorated coach stopped. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. ”Tua, I... I lo...” A 2 inch hole appeared in the coach’s forehead. Blood splattered onto the wrinkled white tee shirt of the national champion QB. Nick Saban fell to the ground, unmoving. He was dead. A screeching but booming voice echoed through the arid landscape. The source of that voice, a green being, approximately 7’ 8”, with hundreds of tenticles flailing violently about it’s spongy exterior. One of the tenticles gripped what appeared to be some sort of plasma gun. ”BOW DOWN HUMANS, THIS WORLD NOW BELONGS TO THE GALONTIC RACE. SUBMIT AND YOUR DEATH WILL BE PAINLESS RELATIVE TO THOSE WHO DO NOT SUBMIT” As the creature began its slither towards the intrepid team, an emboldened Isaiah Buggs charged in its direction. At the moment of the Lineman’s mighty leap toward the rancid creature, its body emitted a brilliant green flash. The DT phased completely through the creature and the athlete crash landed opposite the alien. He cried out in pain while gripping his right shoulder. The defensive prodigy was defeated. Again, the creature’s voice rang through the rural campus: ”FOOL, THE GALONTICS ARE AN UNSACKABLE RACE. ALL WHO OPPOSE US FACE UTTER DESTRUCTION” The atrocious creature continued his dank slither towards the undefeated national champs. A crowd began to gather, united in their hopelessness. All were ready to submit to the unsackable fiend. At that moment, Tua noticed what appeared to be withered tentacle on the specimen’s back side. ”A weakness?” Tua thought, as he chose to reject his inevitable destruction. In one swift motion, the nation’s best quarterback dropped his bag to the ground, removed it’s contents: the NCAA regulation football that he threw the championship winning touchdowns with, and flung the ball toward the heinous creature. A soft, but pronounced reverberation eminated outward from the collision point of the alien’s weak tentacle. In an instant, the green menace shriveled up while letting out a defeated cry. As quickly as it appeared, its body dissolved softly into the shifting winds. Tua remained, undefeated. ”TUA, TUA!” As the manic crowd descended upon the undisputed champion, his mind remained fixed on his coach. After all, being a champion quarterback, or even a world savior paled in comparison to being a father’s proud son. For the first time in his life, Tua knew he was complete.