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Alabama Problems

We have so much stuff.

CFP National Championship presented by AT&T - Alabama v Georgia Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

If I were to pick a concept least likely to be accepted by my twelve year old denoting the difference between adults and children, it would be our attitude toward stuff. Children are natural hoarders. Legos, bits of a broken Happy Meal TM Incredibles toy, and the corner piece of what could be a Harry Potter puzzle; all are sacrosanct. All must remain, residing rent free in whatever corner of a toy chest or basket will have them.

I’ve noted that with age the gifts - birthday, Christmas, Father’s Day, etc. - I receive tend toward the perishable. Thank god for that.

A bottle of Cotes du Rhone or a clever flower arrangement gives joy and then immediately scuffles off. No mess. No clutter. That strikes me as needful and fitting in a society where obesity rather than malnutrition is the more pressing issue. We have riches.

Alabama is currently pressing an SEC Offensive Player of the Year against a College Football Playoff Championship MVP for the starting quarterback position. I’m assuming anyone reading already knows this, but in case some future anthropologist is piecing together the 2018 season I feel obliged to contextualize this post. Posterity and all that.

I’ve come down firmly on one side. Although I’m a fan of both players I can’t ignore the stable of running backs and the kinetic frenzy percolating at X, Y, and Z. In fact, given the talent that the starting QB will have the privilege of distributing the ball to, I don’t understand why we have a two way competition rather than a three way. Mac can pass and we have riches.

As opposed to what I gather from the comment sections of our first week’s opponent, I see the utility of a wide receiver corps differently than they.

The thrust amongst the Cardinal faithful seems to be that we have neither the horses nor the scheme to contain Smith, Dawkins, and the voluble Fitzpatrick. The elephant that is conspicuously absent from the room is Lamar Jackson. There is a hope in the blue hills that receivers are discrete, that passing yardage accumulates spontaneously, any transactional notions of the game conveniently forgotten. We, and anybody not named Ridley, know that that is not the case. Puma Pass (said with a straight face no less) might be the second coming of pre-pipe Ryan Leaf, but that remains to be seen.

We are likely to lose a quarterback soon. The smart money on first out is a December graduated Jalen Hurts with no impediment to transfer options and a red shirt year outstanding. I hate that. I want to keep him. I’m a child that way.

I’m not breaking new ground by positing that Hurts has no future as an NFL quarterback. He’s a transcendent athlete, but checking down is not in his wheelhouse.

If he won’t budge on the subject and insists on chasing his QB dream, there will be many takers. His dad wasn’t wrong. Should this come to pass, my hope is a Kiffin/Hurts reunion with only a motion away.

Better for all, and I get that this is only my opinion, would be for him to stay.

Assuming he can catch, he’d be a holy terror out of the backfield. His ability to scan the field, diagnose, and pick apart the field as a runner on busted pass plays makes me giddy at the prospect of him as a punt returner.

If catching is an issue (or even not) he’d have to screw up pretty badly to not translate his athleticism towards success as a safety.

Either way, I want a passing first quarterback and Jalen Hurts on my team. That’s not too much to ask, given all that we already take for granted.