NSFW: Bonus Meltdown Misery— even in victory, Texas gonna’ Texas

Usual caveats and language warnings apply yadda’ yadda’ yadda’.

Time for some bonus misery:

Texas Gonna’ Texas

Has a team ever made it to .500 and looked as bad getting there as the Longhorns do? The fans, realizing the difference between being rained on and being pissed on, are ready for Tom Herman’s schtick to produce results and the excuses to end.

Hey, the team is terrible, but at leat he’s blaming the fans, throwing players under the bus, and being an arrogant asshole about it? HORNS UP!

Remember: Texas won.

Are you serious? Do you really have to figure out how to motivate your team? Here’s an idea…Ok men. We’re playing Tulsa this week. We are a 3 touchdown favorite. Get out there and get the job done or your ass won’t ever see the field again.

Well this will be a wonderful comment section.

Do we REALLY need to roll the dice against TULSA?

I’m not a coach But isn’t the second half, all about coaches making adjustments?

Wanna be scared, really scared? What if Texas was as ready as they could have been for both MD and Tulsa?

Kick the FG. This isn’t techmo bowl.

I wonder if we could get Dabo Swinney for 10 mill a year?

We need to hear Herman acknowledge that we sucked the first two games

Penalty, shanked punt... this team is fun to watch!

Everything about this team is SOFT! Holy s***, are the players so fragile that a little yelling spooks them into playing scared???

Del Conte sounded drunk.

Well, if you can watch this team without drinking You’re a better man than me, Gunga Din.

I have to say one of the attributes of TH that never entered my mind was quickly identifying his mistakes.

https://texassports.com/schedule.aspx?path=wvball

LSU got the better end of the deal. Ed Orgeron would have been a much cheaper continuation of mediocrity without the insufferable bullshit that TH brings, which only makes us look more delusional than aggy for allowing it to continue.

I’m very woke and find your use of chief to be problematic to say the least. Let’s both use this as a teachable moment and move on.

Tom Herman might only be the 7th, 8th, or 9th-best Head Coach in the Big12. He’s been the head coach at Texas for 15 games (8 wins, 7 losses) and 20 months. Four of those wins: San Jose, Kansas, Baylor, Tulsa. Those 4 teams won 5 total games last season.

If this game was a dog, I’d shave its ass and make it walk backwards. Or something.

My daughter turned to my and said, “we are worse than last year”. All I could do is shake my head.

To be fair you have to have a very high IQ to understand football. The strategy is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the plays will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Herm’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterization- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these plays, to realize that they’re not just great- they say something deep about LIFE

Aggie here. Please keep Herman as long as it took Saban to be successful, just to make sure. Thanks and Gig ‘em.

half-tme thoughts ==? my half time thoughts are that I need to cut down my time wasted on this team and sport.

What do you expect out a “coach” who should be managing the local Starbucks. I don’t hear fukn Jimbo screaming winning is hard. I don’t fukn hear Lincoln Riley screaming winning is hard not did I hear Herm Edwards. You know what assTomouth U was screaming after their loss…we got us a coach. You know what we were screaming after a “win”..we have a snake oil salesman. Me thinks Hermit is too soft for these young men to be coaching them…

BRING BACK CHARLIE!!!!!!

The realization that yes, UT is stuck with this chump for another four or five years, is jarring.

Fuck OSU… stick the fucking ‘t’. Jerk-off f*cking yankee loudmouths.

We Must Temper Our Desire To Win!

Herman lost me during the Tech debacle last season. He can still regain me, but he’s going to have to produce results other than vocabulary lessons in post-game pressers.

LHN needs to save some money and just overlay Craig Way audio with the game feed. The never ending banality makes the game even more depressing to watch.

Our players kinda suck at playing. Our coaches really suck at coaching. That’s really about it.

If we win out, can we still make the playoffs?

Remember those Red River ass beatings we received under Mack? Get ready folks.

It least it was the lowlight of the season with Mack With Herm it could be just another week.

The Horns will likely start the season 1-4. At that point, these silly “give Herman a chance” columns will go away and the discussion will move toward picking the next coach and how much will it cost to hire Saban.

Tom is applying lipstick to…the pig that was this shitshow/game.

Too Bad The LIpstick.....…….Got applied on the wrong end of the pig.

I am sort of looking forward to the post game presser To hear Herman’s latest attempt to tell us we saw something different than we actually did. The dude may not be able to prepare his team to play football, but he is pretty good at gaslighting.

#TEXASISBACK TO BEING SHIT.

I have never...…seen a quarterback who is better at passing than he is at just handing off the football, read or not. Until now.

I’m not looking forward to the walk of shame back to the car.

At risk of engaging in hyperbole This is the kind of victory that can set a program back by 4-5 years...Keeps sportswriters and other critics at bay just enough to prolong a coach’s tenure when he’s clearly in over his head without a plan for recovery.

Oh boy....cant wait. Let’s see: 1. I paid thousands for my season tickets. 2. All excited about our wonderkid coach & our progress. 3. Risk my life and my family’s life coming down I-35. 4. Somehow get to the stadium and to my seats. 5. To watch what? USC Stomp the Living Guts.

Maybe don’t use a personal foul for roughing the passer as the pic?

Even if he is a snake oil salesman...I’m actually more worried that he’s either a narcissist or a completely un-self-aware gaslighting sociopath

If you spend one more dollar on this team this year, you are part of the problem. Don’t buy a ticket. Don’t buy a shirt. Cancel your subscription to one of the 15 Longhorn pay sites. Starve this sickness until it dies.

Fire Tim Beck he’s so ass

How pathetic...will take USC and lay the points whatever the line is next week right now ...

I think I actually miss Mack Brown...

I actually think I miss Greg Davis!

It just hit me........WE SUCK!!!!

Texas is as bad as Tennessee

WE ARE PURDUE!!!!

Honestly who gives a fuck if we won. I woulda been happier if we just lost

Why do I feel like I need to take a shower. And I will as soon as I sober up.

4-8. New coordinators next year. New coaching staff in 2020. Weedeater Bowl (or whatever the abomination in Shreveport is now labeled) runners-up 2021. Hang a fucking banner. Hook ’em.

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LSU

Shopping at Big Lots for an offensive coordinator who’s not called a game in 20 years, an offensive line that is once again suspect, a deep culture of croneyism, a neanderthal head coach, and a passing scheme that still blows: The Orgeron era is about to hit the skids...or so you’d think after a 31-0 victory.

Who are we kidding. They were shutout by SLU in the second half and probably are about to fall into the toilet.

I would love to know the records in high school and or college, hell even jr. high for all the coaches and QBs. That way we can all safely say you have a clue.

This was more conservative than the last few seasons of Les’ offenses.

I can’t believe they looked at four quarterbacks and came out with Joe Burrow

Are there any chess team highlights?

So that’s what happens when you hire all of your buddies, and you have an offensive coordinator who hasn’t coached offense in 2 decades

Is max protect our only blocking scheme that works ???

I sat 3 rows up from the LSU sideline and coach O was not happy with the O-line. Couldn’t understand what the hell he was trying to say but he sure was mad.

He was saying Zhduehe eb ejxje fbeb die djahzhe d Go Tigers Fbebehshe heh Sxyedjebzunbeh dbehsjsue Go Tigers Shdhebdnau zuehstavvs Go Tigers

Offense probably was the worst I’ve seen in 7 years.

Can we just donate to state schools and play better nonconference teams ?

We’ve played one half of good football. We’re Auburn. Thanks Marck Richt

the most PATHETIC and APATHETIC display of both offensive & defensive playing I’ve ever witnessed recently in an LSU team. There appears to be very little, if any, conditioning

The offense played very conservatively. By design or is it just bad? Again

#VanillaOffense

Lsu offense coordinator is so stupid and so off the wall..can we find a person who can really call plays and light the score board up like other teams

Auburn gonna wax us

#WeHiredTheTECoachAsOC

Love LSU but Burrow sucks we are in serious trouble when we play a decent team

#WeComingBawWeComing

Do we reall have to play bama?

Auburn’s defense will have a heyday with our offense lol

Was it LSU’s plan to allow SELU to hit Burrow?

Is Les Miles still calling the plays ??

Nah Les called better plays

Why not try Miles, he could have done no worse than Borrow.

#WhoNeedsAOLine

I guess Matt Canada wasn’t so bad after all

Either coach O is great at hiding what we can do, or we do not have much talent

Empty seats at the home opener!!!! On national television....after whooping Miami!!??? Wtf cooyons!!??

Still don’t know anything about this offense and that’s not good. Ensminger doesn’t either and that’s worse

At least we’re not Florida and Arkansas

If not for the Hail Mary Lsu did not have a drive over 50 yards.

I’m embarrassed right now to be an LSU fan..

The best line of the night was at the end of the when asked “What have you learned about LSU?” , the announcer said “I learned that I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.”

The perfect season according to a typical LSU fan is to go undefeated, qb wins the Heisman, win the national championship, then fire the head coach.

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Beth Hall-USA TODAY Sports

Arkansas:

Serving up all the ass, the Hogs are taking things in stride... as they usually do: Fire everyone, kick them out of the SEC, never win another game, cancel the season. The craziest fanbase in the SEC may have finally been broken.

Give the guy a chance” “It takes time” “we’re rebuilding” blah blah blah....there is enough talent on this team to beat Colorado St for Pete’s sake!!!!

The only shot we had was Petrino. He was a coach. He wasn’t a people person.

We need to get out of the SEC.

This isn’t going to be better next year either

Gus Malzahn is going to eat us alive

I’m a lifelong hog fan, but the reality is, in the SEC, we will always finish in the middle or towards the bottom. Just learn to accept that, and you’ll enjoy football season more!

Morris doesn’t look happy here. He’s always depressed on the sideline

Did any of you actually expect a former SMU head coach with his best run there being a 7-5 season, was going to produce better numbers?

We are gonna be playing a lot of 11 A.M. games this year

Is there a coaching depth chart

Why is Alabama so good?

Future coaches shoul get one game contracts

The coach is a High school coach and the defense coordinator is a loser

Why did we spend all the money to fire Belima if we where going to put the same type team on the field.

Bama only wins so much cause they know how to cheat & the refs let them get away with it. I used to respect Bama, but after they hold our receivers & get away with it, I don’t respect them anymore. I don’t like playing cheaters

This Coaching Staff we’d have better luck playing with the lights off and blindfolded.

Arkansas Rebuilding-backs. For the 7the year

Haha we suck so bad. Accept that you’ll go to your grave as a Hog fan with the Petrino years being the high water mark for Arkansas.

We had 6 years of “rebuilding” seasons with fat boy were sick of them!!

I’m far from a fair weather fan but they’ve been rebuilding for the biggest part of my lifetime and I’ll be 60 in a couple months.

We’re like fried chicken they are keeping warm under the lights.

Any coach that runs the ball against us should be fired.

I’m a fair weather fan for sure. Who doesn’t like watching good football.

Had a perfect football Saturday. Most of the day on the tractor, fed calves, Had a nice dinner with good people, got home and watched the last 9 minutes of Hog game for my daily dose of humility, and slept like a baby.

Fair Weather fans? Fair weather??!! This has been hurricanes and ice storms! And Sharknado!

Chad Morris needs to have it explained to him “BLUNTLY” that on friday night’s he is to be with his coaches working on the game plan for the next day’s game “NOT” flying to dallas to watch his son play football. His son “IS NOT” paying him 3 MILLION a year.

Razorback fans are played for SUCKERS again!!!s

What a long season ahead with a pussy of a coach.

“Hey son, wana come play for the U of A? We blew a big lead last year to a crummy Mountain West school, but we sure can be competitive again if you just... oh, you got... You got an offer from (Name any other SEC program)?? Oh, well I guess you have to go with your heart kid. Good luck getting that education when you’re going to a bowl game every year.”

It’s a miracle anyone even signs with Arkansas.

Six year contract. SIX years.

The wheels fell off in the left lane. The hammer is made of cheap plastic.

Fire all of them now. Cancel the season. We are a lost cause.

Vanderbilt is happy now.... we’re the new Vandy!

...Vandy will beat us

All jokes aside, we are done.....for a really long time. We have no talent, recruits, or staff. And we will not have.

Cole Kelly has to be the clumsiest option quarterback I’ve ever seen.

Gonna be a long ride home and when they get back it should be under the cover of darkness in through a back door ....

After 40yrs, I’m tired of wasting my hard earned money. This is my last year as a season ticket holder.

Next Year Has Never Actually Arrived.

Does anyone realize how bad that team that just beat us is?

Good god we are suppose to be an SEC team! S....E....C!!! We CANT COMPETE IN THE SEC!!

Here’s an idea, how about you guys take the new uniform swag, new coaching staff, free educations, stadium expansion and shove it up your asses

Everybody hear that.......its the rest of the SEC laughing!

Wtf!?! New Uniforms new Stadium that’s what happens when you have evil in the program Arkansas will never see the blessings Patrino was the only hope Ark had!

I have watched a lot of Razorback football for a lot of years .... 51 ..... There aren’t too many losses that are as bad as this one.

I dozed off in 3rd quarter and when I woke up it was last season.

Averaging 6 yards per carry and these dumb fucks send out the punt team on 4 and inches

Arkansas will always be the worst team in the SEC. Morris is just another step down. From Petrino, to John L Smith, to Bert, and now a high school coach with an all time losing record.

3rd and Chavis

If we’re going to continue to have Morris as our HC, then Arkansas has absolutely no business being in the SEC. I really don’t see us winning a single conference game this year, except to MAYBE Vandy

Such a joke program I hate us

I love my Hogs but dam I don’t like them very much right now.

Now maybe we know why Chavis can’t seem to keep a job.

I better not see anothe hype video or uniform video the rest of the year.

MAGA- Make Arkansas Great Again- fire Chad Morris

When their best player is killing you why not double cover him?

I QUIT

Safe to say the honeymoon is over

Please bring your Brown Paper Bag to hide your face for Auburn. It going to be awful.

What’s the shittiest conference in the nation? Because that’s where we belong.

Never thought I’d say this but I miss Bert

Houston Nutt days look good huh

Call John L Smith

I’m shocked it’s still going to be televised! What’s auburn favored by 64??!!

Last week we couldn’t run, this week we can’t pass and in both our punting sucked.

Arkansas is the cupcake team now

I hate this. Why. I don’t get it. I have real life problems. I shouldn’t have to worry about losing to COLORADO STATE of all things.

Refs.......Anyone seeing this?…..One thinks they are TRYING to help the Rams……COME ON PIGGIES!

Yeah the refs are causing missed tackles, blown coverage, and misread RPOs. I completely agree.

Disband the football team you disgraceful pieces of shit

Do we really suck this bad?

why, God?

The Kansas of the SEC

#canceltheseason

#saveyourselvestheembarassment

Normally games like this would upset me. But as a razorback fan, I died on the inside years ago

When will the suffering end?

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USC:

The Trojans are mistaking their bagman for their offensive coordinator. That’s okay, in-over-his-head-Helton has been doing that for over two years. Short, but bitter meltdown from the men and women of Troy sees L.A. longing for LMFK and the bubble screen era.

Don’t talk to me unless you’ve announced that Tee Martin has been fired

STFU with your BS. We blow! Try honesty! It’s liberating!

How bout putting on some pads and say EFF IT...were not calling RPO anymore.were BRINGIN BACK THE I

Grandpa Trojan i have to much respect for my elders to ask you your age, but i am guessing you were a senior in high school when Dirt was a sophmore and Jesus a freshman?

Not even Gloria Allred could defend Helton for that 4th and 2 call at mid-field before the half. Gave Stanford house money to take shots vs starting at their 20.

Fuck Helton and Tee Martin and Clancy

Please go copy Kiffin’s old playbook. Add some variety. Bring back the bubble screen!!! (I can’t believe I typed this)

Way to let them convert a 3rd and 23 lmaooooo

its possible that for 9 of the next 11 weeks we will spend 4 hours watching an abortion performed live, but on the bright side – we still have our health right?

How many times you gotta get stuffed on 3rd and short before you realize it ain’t a good idea

We shit the bed

...Also wet it.

Hope they unrank us we’re fucking ass

What is tee martins contract buy out price? I’m starting a go fund me. And I need an exact number.

Still waiting for a camera shot of Helton not looking lost.

Only the third time USC has been held without a TD in 25 years and Helton has been there for two of them.

Why is SC having a friggin PUNTING BATTLE!!???

USC game so upsetting I am now watching “The Savage Bees” on METV. In it people from the 1970s are wearing slacks and being attacked by killer bees whilst sitting in VW Beatles and Ford Pintos at Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Also some scientists say some things about how come bees get so angry, esp at Mardi Gras. Then they drive real slow through the French Quarter in their bee covered VW to the SuperDome and the bees die because...air conditioning. The end. This is better than watching Clay Helton coach college football.

I can’t believe I’m starting to miss bubble screens

Man, this was a bunk ass Saturday.