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Weltschmerz: A trip through Arkansas Football social media

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Someone has to do it.

Brice will have plenty of despondency in tomorrow’s meltdown. But, today we are here to skinny dip into the filth that is Arkansas Razorback social media,lagniappe agony, as it were. Last week, after spending two hours combing Twitter and Facebook and newspaper comments, I discovered two things: 1. The meltdown material from regular ole’ Joe and Jane Hogfan is vast in its scope, palpable in its surrender, and licentious in its abuse of the Queen’s English; and 2. I really liked it.

I didn’t realize I had that much darkness in my heart.

Three games in, the Chad Morris era may best be summed up by the play of the season:

We have well passed ennui, befuddlement, and even rage in Northwest Arkansas; we have reached a level of pathos that can only be defined in German. The Teutons, as they are wont to do, have coined a neologism that describes a concept that just won’t fit quite into English. Weltschmerz — “World Pain,” a mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state. For Arkansas fans that is a depression borne of paying $1 million dollars to be destroyed by a Conference USA team at home...with SEC play looming. Somewhere out there, something has to get better. It has to give.

But, there are no answers in Fayetteville: This little piggy went to go live on a farm upstate and never came home.

In the spirit of bonus meltdown misery, we are here to give you more of that delicious and deranged Piggy Weltzschmerz. As usual, language (and grammar) warnings apply.

This is the darkest timeline.

Y’all gonna eat crow when you realize Morris sandbagged these two losses to hammer down on Gus next week.....

Frank Brolyes didn’t die for this.
He died because of this.

Playing defense shouldn’t be as hard as this team makes it out to be.

Jimmy Johnson won one game in his first year with the Cowboys The rest is history. The Hogs will come back but it’s gonna come back. You ever seen a newborn baby walk at delivery? We will return!!

You’d have to be Christ himself to be patient with this tire fire

Negativity, bashing and condemnation, the cornerstones of any successful comeback!

Everyone is a moron

Suck is the new norml!!!

Where is this in the fight for lowest point in Razorback football history.

Can we get Petrino and his girlfriend back and give them a new motorcycle?

We could have had Malzan

I’d rather get a kickball to the face

Wow...well we just got punked at home in the first quarter. When does baseball season start?

Where in the stadium do we find the brown paper bags? Thanks.

Let’s have Cole Kelley with his 5.8 speed roll out on an r.p.o. And don’t worry about trying to get the first down on 2nd and 6 or 3rd and 6, just keep on slinging that ball down the field for incompletions. Hell, he might eventually connect on one! Piss poor coaching!!!! But that’s how they do it under the lights on Friday nights in Texas, right Choad Morris???

Is there way to petition to not have a football team?

What kind of NCAA coach calls a timeout before a kickoff, with 11 men on the field?

You already proved you’re a mouth breathing, inbred,moron.

We will have more transfers than recruits

He even calls a timeout before a kickoff?

remember when people used ‘but he never beat Alabama’ as an excuse to rip Bobby P....now look at us.

THROW THE WHOLE TEAM AWAY

Seeling my season tickets away forever

This type of play is not consistent with SEC standards.

Glad we don’t play Rutgers this year!

BUM!

It’s 90 degrees in September. We’re running out of alcohol. Things are bleak.

One game at a time!
And it’s only gotten progressively worse.

Why does it have to be so hard to be a Razorback fan?

I think it helps to divorce emotionally from the hogs and be detached from what they do or don’t do, just like you would a dysfunctional friend you can’t control.

On the bright side, if this is how the season continues to go then maybe tickets will be less expensive next year! They may even have a bring your dog to the game day, to be able to fill the seats.

Even Kentucky has won games....

Arkansas is the new Kansas
No need to insult Kansas like that.

What happened to the full tilt boogie offense Chad Morris promised. The slick used car salesman lines will only work until you line up and put hat on a hat. BIG WORDS FROM A PUSSY!

I swear to voodoo if we lose to y’all next week, y’all can have Gus after all. -Auburn fan

Here we go again! They can’t blame the altitude today! They just suck. Terrible. Terrible.

Wait a minute, everyone just needs to watch Alabama.

I was most displeased with the minor things. Blocking, tackling, playing till the whistle.

Alabama has a powder puff schedule this year. That’s the ONLY reason they win.

Very courageous play calling on the last series! Three runs in the same direction! REALLY?

I am so glad I DVR’d the #Razorbacks today. Now I can fast forward through the game and just watch the commercials.

I have watched them now twice from the Touchdown Club, touching the “rock” and about to run out on the field. They act like they are going to the dentist or something

Am I the only one who remembers back when Arkansas used to routinely produce good O linemen? What the hell happened?

Arkansas remains undefeated in the Chad Morris era against teams that don’t wear green. That will be put to the test next week against Auburn

Well on our way to the dog shit bowl sponsored by purina

Our best play is 3rd and f#%k it!!

I miss the days of an average Razorback team.. wps anyways

Season over. Please disperse. Nothing to see here.

Mathematically, we could still go 10-2.

Hey look everybody the Razorbacks is trending on Twitter!

We’ll still get our cut of all that SEC revenue even if we are “the little sisters of the poor”.

Which do you think was worse for recruiting today: (1) frustrated fans cutting loose with boos while watching us play terribly on a hot afternoon, or (2) getting our asses handed to us at home by a Conference USA team like we didn’t even belong on the field with them?

Can we send that fake fair catch into the NCAA office? That’s a cheap move

Somebody pass Bielema a beer

This week, he’s looking in a mirror. Next week, h’ell be offering us a delicious looking apple. The week after that, w’ell be asleep, so who really gives a sh*t? We’ve been through a stunt driver, a reality TV wanna be, and now a fairy tale. When do we play football?

I guess if you can’t beat them pass the ball the ENTIRE game.

Sorry @RazorbackFB but I have to unfollow you now until next year. Again

This is the first tailgate we haven’t heard one hog call.

Time to start buying players

How do people that don’t drink handle this? Legitimately. Workout? Read a book? What are we supposed to do?
Fill out Saturdays with midget porn and gas station pizza by the slice. Wait....that’s every other day of the week. F#ck it! Pour me another.

Chill out and stop acting like they don’t disappoint us at some point every year.

Retarded chad Morris apologists incoming be like “ItS nOt HiS pLaYeRs!1!” Shut up, we should be beating these teams on talent alone smh

So in 45 years of actual following, this is the worst it’s ever been.

The best part are the weekly hype videos!!!

Even the fans leaving the stands is RazorFast.

#WooPigShit

How much do you have to suck for the NCAA to give the Razorbacks the death penalty.

Is this what we are celebrating now? Crossing the 50 yd line??

You make me want to drink bleach.
I’ll have some too.. Save me a shot or two plz..

I’m glad people got fired for this upgrade.

Doesn’t matter who’s at quarterback, our defense and coaching are as ignorant as you can get

I’m 5’1” old and slow..but i reckon I can play qb just as good..

He finally did something right, only took 2 interceptions another 2 near interceptions and about a half dozen other bonehead plays today.

I would never boo our kids, but I did only use 1 hand when calling the hogs.

The team needs Viagra.

Ain’t no one left but the band and they parents
The band is still there....???!?!?!???

Alexa, send help. #razorbackfootball ALEXA, send help! ALEXA, SEND HELP NOW!!! #stopthebleeding

I think I saw the ghost of John L. Smith in the upper deck.

After this game it looks like we might have some trouble with Auburn. Just sayin.

This team learns from adversity 20, 34, 44 points allowed. Logical progression and their ability to learn from adversity suggests they will just give up slightly more points than they did against NT.

You hear that laughing? You hear that Benny Hill music? That’s from ESPN, SECN, the entire nation, the same nation you expect to recruit from.

If your throw money out for this trash coaching I just watch , at least hire & try out some high school coaches from Arkansas.

Cole plays like a drunk with CTE

FUCK THIS DEFENSE

The coaching staff needs to explain why an obviously injured qb was left in the game to run a flea-flicker

There won’t be booing at the next home game because nobody will be there.

#BaseballSchool

If a fan boos in the stadium, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Trash team, trash staff. Can’t win even if every opposite team player had a torn mcl.

If I’m Arkansas here’s my halftime adjustment. Fire Chad Morris and offer Seth Littrell 6 million a year to come over to the other sideline.

Don’t have much talent but at least they also have a mediocre staff.

@CoachHughFreeze Prostitutes are cool

Arkansas is turning me into an alcoholic with how bad they’ve become

FIRE CHAD MORRIS (disclaimer: maybe literally this time)

Bert didn’t leave Morris a lot of players. All he left was a bunch of 5X windbreakers zipped all the way to the top.

People keep saying there was no talent left behind. There are 16 4-star recruits, a 5-star recruit and numerous upper 3-star recruits on this team.

These same jimmies and joes were nowhere near this bad last year. And they were bad last year.

This o line would loose a game of red Rover vs grade schoolers....

We need the waterboy!

Hogs, you suck. Then you swallow

We lost a fixed game!

They are determined to embarrass me by association.

Assholes with small dicks

Get a black quarterback that can scramble AND throw and add some diversity.

Its 2:09 PM ET 9/16 why hasn’t Chad Morris been fired yet?

So our only positive for next week is Gus is friends with Morris so he won’t run the score up to bad...

Remind me again why we spent money on John Chavis

You need to learn how to coach! My pet dauchund Snooopy could do a better job.

Ready for kick off: The University of Arkansas would like to revise this tweet.. what we meant to say was “ready for a kick to the nuts”

Good news is the Alabama tickets are getting cheaper by the minute. I need 6.

What does “it’s all phases” even mean? I can spout off random things during halftime for half the pay! How about “When is the rooster going to crow?”... seriously...half the pay.

This is big boy football. I’m so sick of this generation of pansies that thinks everyone should get trophy and losing is ok as long as you tried. This mentality is what has bred a generation of socialist that don’t want to work hard for anything, they just want it handed to them.

What is this team’s BAC?

just a thought but ya think that maybe we could get the bands drum section, the math club and the chess club to suit up and finish this game?

being a razorback fan has helped me so much in my life. I literally expect the worst and if it happens?... oh well lol

It’s a shame there weren’t more touchdowns

Every time I think we hit rock bottom.....

If there’s ever a rationale for selling beer & liquor at a college stadium... it’s this year’s team.

We are pitiful. The team collectively, is a mental calamity.

I hope Chad didn’t buy a house in Arkansas.

SOB, This is the worst I’ve seen the damn program in my life. Pathetic.

Hey coach, I remember my 1st beer!

Boo, yes. Torch a truck; no.

I’m not sure it’s a wise move for the Heart Hospital to compare itself to the success of the Razorbacks

It’s poor sportsmanship and cheating I don’t care what the damn rule book says and the refs should be ashamed they let that play stand!

The dumbest thing Morris has done so far was taking the job in the first place.

Alabama has an extra QB they aren’t using. Saban is just being selfish.

Meanie greenie gives the weenie

It’s sad when mizzou , a team who shouldn’t even be in the sec , makes us look like Vanderbilt.

But, seriously, who do you have in mind for interim coach?

You give me Joe Kines RIGHT NOW

Hugh Freeze is looking for a job. Just buy him a burner.

Dear Mr. Texas High School Homecoming King, It’s not working out. I think we just need some time apart. It’s not you, it’s us. You can keep the money...just leave and close the door behind you. Signed, The State Of Arkansas

This too shall pass, but it will probably be an interception or overthrown.

Losing. Its the losing.

Fuck god