NSFW: Meltdown Finale — The Alabama Crimson Tide

College Football Playoff National Championship
Clemson - a bunch, Alabama — not a bunch

This was as weird a game as you’ve ever seen Alabama play. Kicking was awful, of course. That’s basically the free space on your ‘Bama Bingo card by now. But, the defensive staff coached scared the entire night, opting for soft coverage and four-man fronts. Clemmy was able to sit back in Max Protect and take advantage of a beat-up and young Alabama defensive backfield. The DL was gassed after three plays. The LBs were...well, not exactly up to recent vintage.

On offense, Alabama marched down the field continually...then tripped on their collective cocks inside the red zone. Aided by some atrocious playcalling, even worse DPI officiating, and Tua looking every bit the guy who was starting his 15th game, ‘twas a night of turnovers and big plays: Clemson got them, Alabama did not.

The less that’s said about the defensive coaching staff, the better.

Fair’s fair. Tide fans melted down and now it’s your turn to wade in the filth you created.

Language and decency are violated to great excess. NSFW.

Roll Tide.

—

Saben needs to stop wearing pleated pants.
Saban sets the trends and decides what is in style and what isn’t.

Worst defense Saban has had.

Fingers crossed we’re not in shotgun formation

Where is Jalen?!?

Perhaps spotting them a TD was ill-advised. Let us stop that immediately. Please. With sugar on top. Because acting like we can pass that way at will got us into LOTS of trouble against UGA.

Lol Shit

So, you remember when we pressured the qb? When we scared the qb? Disguised coverage? I do.

Dado run, run, run, dado run, run THEDAMNBALL!

#SecretPlaybook

How many years in a row now have we had to put up with terrible kickers?
This always gives Bobby Bowden a good laugh.

Our pk and punter are HISTORICALLY BAD. Even noted shitdick that lost us the IB and LSU games didnt miss xp

Cade Shitdick, SIR

Bulovas Why…. just why

The bars on campus have better kickers than this dipshit.
And he can’t reach the goal line on kick offs? Okay, Bulovas, WHAT THE FUCK CAN YOU DO?
a) play harmonica
b) Nicholson impersonation
c) sew a button on a jacket
d) digest food
e) none of the above

At the beginning Trevor Lawrence looked a little rattled but he’s settled down and found his composure, poise and rhythm.
30 free yards of penalties and soft zone does that.

dabo ”doyourjob” what a bitch

Now we’re gonna get the Cody Parkey treatment

The absolute state of this boring ass ‘sport’!

Tosh trying out for Clemson’s OC?

RUN THE BALL. KEEP THE HIPPIE OFF THE FIELD.

Saban better figure shit out at halftime! And wtf is Tua thinking tonight?

GOTDAM need a check up from the neck up

We need to come out and play better after getting the halftime Ass chewing

Mack Wilson is straight up garbage! Has been all year!

BAMA!!!! I’m not even catholic but, I’m gonna have to turn on a candle!!! What is going on??

Locksley already in Maryland
Can he take Tosh?

Can we get the halftime ass chewing after four minutes?

Our Rubnnning Backs have been bullying Clemson

that was half assed effort from the snap.

Savion is getting torched badly. They need to get him out of there

Savion must be having a stroke. He’s smelling a lot of burned toast tonight

Defense playing like they’re walking on eggs

14 was day dreaming on that. Again.

Hello, second-half Oklahoma!

RUN THE BALL. KEEP THE HIPPIE OFF THE FIELD.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!!!!!

Arm tackle not advised

An out route to the left side from the right hash. Asking for a pick 6. Thanks, Mike

We need to see the whole screen!!! Get rid of the sportscasters ON THE SCREEN!!! We do not need to see them!!!

Bama’s D is a disaster and now on national TV they are been exposed. Where is their Pride?

I’m just gonna hope and let Sis Anger help me deal lol

Time to put Jalen in. Tua has served with honor.

2 interceptions and the missed extrapoint You Guy’s do the math

Or meth

Hey Saban - why the fuck are you not blitzing this freshmen QB!!!!!!!

Lawdy lawdy lawdy

I’ve never seen a Nick Saban-led team be dominated like this. It is painful to watch

Big 12 looking ass

Mike Shula is wearing a Saban mask.

Have I been transported into an alternate dimension? That’s the only reason I can think of for what’s happening right now.

Quit making stupid plays and play defense!!! Saban get ahold of your boys at halftime!!

Coach said it after the Okla game. “We’ll have to do a lot better to beat Clemson.” We aren’t.

Aaand just turned it back on, saw the score, and turned it right back off.

Looks like a Big 12 game

Bring Hurts in 2nd half.... don’t @ me.

Tua needs to be listening to the Holy Ghost! Now, I know good and well, He DID NOT tell you to throw those passes for INT! I know for my one self!!!!

I needed us to be better than this

This is sad wow we’re trash

We look great now right?! Hahahaha I’d rather be a BOLS fan who so used to shitting the bed every Saturday than this.

woulda had 2 touchdowns if the refs actuslly called all the pass interference which is clear as day!

Trevor Lawrence going dong Down

I’m a Bama fan but this trophy emoji looks like the coffin Clemson bought for us. RIP

This is all drakes fault he just on the bama wagon and cursed us....thanks

He knows that being perfect on 4 down isn’t as good as making it in 3 right?

Can we have a running clock in the National championship game.

Running the ball works too good?? 22,22,22,22!!!

Run all the way down field and when they get in red zone they give up on it. Great coaching.

Hell nah Bama getting paid to flop

The fix is in!

must have got together before the game and watched bird box last night cause they played like they had blindfolds on

i don’t think I’ve ever seen a Saban team play this poorly, play with no brain activity.

Mack Wilson is the stupidest motherfucker I’ve seen on a football field in a long time.

You know I thought Kirby Smart was the idiot for faking it on special teams. looks like I figured out where he got it from

Remember when Prince rocked the Superbowl... this aint that.

Halftime show is worse than a migraine

I appreciate Imagine Dragons and Lil Hamburgler for the needed distraction

That is the worst Halftime shit.....I’ve ever seen!! Was that a homeless person….from outside the stadium??

What the fuck am I watching?

It’s a damn mumbling smurf wearing a mushroom hat

Maybe some Major League sacrificing a chicken for Serrano would help the bad joojoo

The numbers don’t look so bad for us except TOs and the score And those two are the problem

I would have a rather lost to Georgia!

Plot Twist Instead of Hurts coming in for Tua, Ben Davis comes in for Mack Wilson and makes 20 tackles and picks off two passes.

Fucking stupid mckinney!

Being 15 points down is totally normal. No reason to panic at all.

i hate this game my heart hates this game. liver too.

Forreal. I might have to take back some things I said about my team. Saban is not making me look too good right now

Would like to see some screens or jet sweeps. Where’s Kiffin when you need him!?

Ought to be Tua’s final game. He was embarrassing.

What a f*cking terrible fake. That was Kirby level there.

Y’all act like it was Tua’s fault that penalties against Clemson are obviously invisible to the refs. Had no problem moving the balls when the receivers weren’t being held.

His last 4th down decision was rewarded with Tua Favre going full-retard. He did that because he can’t trust the D to get a stop. Now, he can’t trust tua to unfuck his arrogant head.

aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddd a brain fart!

aaaaaannnnd fuck saban. that was the fucking stupidest.
Maybe lay off the liquor and get off the thread.

I don’t blame him at all for heading to the locker room after that epic shit show.

I’m glad I have tomorrow off.

What, you mean faking with a slow qb behind a small lead blocker Against the best d line in college football? Whatever do you mean?

fuck this game. fuck the refs. this is crazy.

I can and plan to stick a rusty wire up my ass and relive this shitshow. I’d rather get an enema right now. You tell me this is supposed to be the highlight of my year? Fuck me up with the sad juice and I’m going to be out of joy for a long, long time. I could go to my dentist. I’d be at least expecting pain because I’m about ready to absolutely yell in anguishing pain. This genuinely hurts physically and emotionally.

bad leadership by a recruiter out of his depth And maxed on Peter Principle

All I want is for refs, any refs somewhere, to call the penalties on our opponents. Not even the questionable penalties, though that would be nice. No, I want Pass Interference when their DB is draped all over our WR before the ball gets there. I don’t think I’m asking for much, not really. That’s what I want. That and good specialists.

Ive seen happier abortions

We ate shit Or aint shit. Pick one.

We have officially ghosted the Natty.

Fuck Dabo highest-paid spectator in college football…..

Relax, man Let me have my whiskey-fueled rage…

Nice job dickfingers

Kill me now.

feels like a fucking stock market correction.

What the FLYING FUCK. Oh I’m not done but I’m one step closer to Elvising my TV.

Hi I’m first half Bama and I have cable And I love being diddled by Dabo. ”Hi I’m Dabo and I’m crawling up your a-hole. Gosh-shucks it’s dark in here!”

There’s no way to “halftime adjust” an entire team that looks lost and soft.

Can’t never win back to back titles

3rd and long Drink!

This entire game is on coaching. Bad decisions, bad calls.
Tua’s piss-poor reads beg to differ.

A Saban team beating itself in all phases I guess there is a first for everything.

Biggest meltdown since Richie Tenenbaum

LOL This fuggin game can’t end fast enough

More commercials than points.

This is like waiting on a walk signal in traffic. Getting kicked in the nuts and falling into traffic to get run over by a cab.

Fucking fix this. For my sake and yours, Tide. You want this to be your legacy? A chance at genuine immortality not just in Alabama lore but across that of college football? You want to blow it? You aren’t some cheap hooker. Only you control the 30 minutes ahead. Be shit, or make shit.

I guess I’ll be making it to work on time tomorrow

Well, Tua responsible for 30 pts so far Unfortunately, 14 of them are for Clempson

There are two emotional states for me right now.. Optimistic: we have been down to good teams before and battled back. Realistic/pessemistic: what the $% was that I just watched?!?!? #%$& Tua, @$&& this defense. D-O-N-E

Roll Tide?

just feels different. defense stayed in Ttown. along with Tua’s ability to take what the defense gives.

Clemson can’t stop the run so Tua goes deep without even looking at the coverage.

We’re Alabama. We do not run desperation plays

Of course Moses looked confused the whole fucking defense does!

3rd down. No pressure. Eaten middle of field. Were fucked

Tosh’s refusal to blitz Lawrence is fucking idiotic.

Tosh is laughably out of his league.

Can we have the recruiter vs coach debate?

Don’t blitz the cocksucker, whatever you do. Great job, Tosh you fucking idiot.

How is Tosh so bad at his job?

The hippie could stand there and eat a sandwich waiting for a WR to come open.

It’s easy for us to say “cut the self-inflicted wounds, we’re fine”... At what point do we collectively realize that this is simply who we are? A juggernaut on offense and defense that can’t kick reliably and commits too many mental mistakes for comfort.

Jesus talk about just handing the game to Clemson.

Clemson sure knows how to kick an extra point.

Clemson’s MVP Is the Alabama defense right now.

So, saivion having a stellar game

Common Locks stop with the bs

One fucking job. Cant do it.

A shovel pass to a guy in the pocket?! What

Of course they can run a shuffle pass

Too cute.

too cute

Too cute by far.

Trevor Lawrence looks like he sends unsolicited dick pics to underage girls.

Though it pains me greatly, I must say that is a mess.

I don’t have anything positive to say.

CamRob’d

When is the last time we had an INT on defense?

We couldn’t cover a needle dick with a magnum

Savione coming back out! I thought he was done.

Faked injury once he got beat on the route

4 sprained his pussy on that play

Tosh’s refusal to blitz A FRESHMAN tells me his balls fell off in game prep.

i got hit as much as Lawrence.... He can drink a cup of tea back there

Fuck that stupid motherfucker to the moon. Guy straight up sucks as a DC if he doesn’t consider blitzing a goddamned freshy. I mean, really? Are his mom & dad brother & sister?

Well. We almost saved Georgia an ass whipping But they got one anyway.

Maybe Kirbz hires Tosh as DC

Shit. Can I at least be in the meltdown thread? That might ease my sorrow. Maybe.

I feel like human liquid and a water balloon all in one. My soul has been stolen, January 7th, 2019. Let it be written on my epitapth someday.

rOsS wOuLd Be oUr 6tH bEsT wR

Now we get a stop on 3rd down :rolls_eyes:

Now I know...What the ’92 Miami fans felt like

More like Germans at Stalingrad

I don’t give two shits if you think me being positive is important, we are playing like shit and I’m going to call a goddamn spade and goddamn spade. Excuse me.

It’s the damn Drake curse...

Did any of you see the first Alien movie? Right after the alien was sucking his face for a while and then just fell off and everybody thought he was ok? Then they are eating dinner and he goes into a seizure with it busting out of his chest?!?
Yeah this game’s not like that movie. This is like Aliens 2 when Bill Paxton comes back from their encounter and says “we just got our asses kicked out there
– GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME OVER!!!

This is why my wife won’t let me gamble

Not blaming the refs for all of this but FFS

The refs got Tua to go full retard?

Yup, goodnight. P.s. fuck Drake

Humble pie taste like shit fellows

Tua’s dad is out in the lot looking for a switch

I refuse to let my happiness be hijacked by 85 18-to-22 year olds

Within a Tide
The roars beckon, the winds blow.
Comes the high to wash away all, vanquishing many
But not all. The pungency of the lows comes forth
Alas, an ocean cannot stop all, as all must cease
And yet what becomes of this season?
Nay a trophy, but merely…forlorn memories.

Maybe next season. Maybe.

End of an era ...

We suck

Let’s go poison Clemson’s trees!