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Sunday Morning Hangover: TSIO - Let the Hatin’ Begin!

Getting an early start on despising the Vols

Congratulations on beating Texas A&M and all that but now it’s time to turn your attention to the Third Saturday in October (TSIO). This rivalry has a special place in the hearts of Crimson Tide fans unlike any other foe. You can hate on Auburn because they are little brother who beats you once every couple of years. You can have bad feels towards LSU because they think they are DBU and are full of nonsense conspiracy theories. You can even have anger towards teams such as UGA, Ole Miss, Clemson and the like for clashing with fellow fan bases. But, oh. This Tennessee... Give me a moment while I simmer a little...

THE RUNDOWN

Tennessee is awful. There are no redeeming values in anything they are about. Let’s have our friend recap it for you.

They lowdown. They dirty. They some snitches.

That about says it all.

CLASS

furthermore, consider the following:

A mere two seasons ago, safety Rashaan Gaulden showed Tennessee class by expressing his feelings towards Alabama fans. This while being down three touchdowns. That would be the only score for the Vols that day as the Crimson Tide would go on to score 17 more points on Mr. Gaulden’s defense for a 45-7 romping.

THAT ORANGE

tenn hate

You tell ‘em, Sandy.

ASSHOLERY

I know many of you young’uns’ think Peyton Manning with his gigantic forehead is this cute ‘n’ cuddly aw shucks former quarterback good ol’ boy, but you need some education.

Back in 1997, the Vols quarterback led his team to a 38-21 victory of Alabama. I can accept that. They were a better team that day and that season. But what happened after the game is unacceptable.

After the win, Manning ascended the bandleader’s ladder and proceeded to lead the band in a rendition of “Rocky Top”. This ultimate trolling happened in Legion Field in Birmingham. If it had happened in their own stadium, it might have been forgettable. But this was a slap in the face to Alabama. Remember when Baker Mayfield planted the flag at midfield of Ohio State? This is right up there with that. Maybe worse.

FAT F*** PHIL FULMER

fulmer donuts

There are other reasons to hate Tennessee, but the number one reason is Phil Fulmer. Backstabbing, snitching, knock-an-old-lady-out-of-the-way-to-get-a-free-dount Phil Fulmer. You can begrudgingly respect the leader of a team that beats your team, but not this 500 pound tub of lard. He is a despicable person with no morals.

As an assistant coach under Johnny Majors, Fatty McGoo started spreading rumors and discourse throughout the program, damaging the professional and personal reputation of his boss at a level that would make Claudius blush. His conniving ways got Majors fired while he usurped the head coaching job for himself. AMAZINGLY, he pulled the same act 25 years later when he disposed of Athletics Director Dave Hart and Interim AD John Currie and took the job for himself. He also quashed the hiring of Greg Schiano as football coach through a behind-the-scenes smear campaign and backroom dealings. He probably figured Schiano was not someone he could control.

But the biggest sin of this gelatinous mongoloid was his repeated accusations to the NCAA of Alabama football cheating. For years he had been trying to take down his rival off the field. Finally he succeeded, cowardly feeding the NCAA information as a “secret witness” with hearsay that may or may not have been accurate. The story goes that Fulmer shared this dirt on the condition that they look the other way on a few of his violations. A snitch.

Due to this circumstantial information which centered on a lawyer Logan Young that the NCAA deemed an Alabama “booster” (who was a Tennessee native and Vanderbilt graduate by the way), the NCAA put the Tide on probation, damaging the program for several years.

You know the saying “snitches get stitches”? Well, the joke is on Fatass, because Alabama rebuilt the program, got him fired, and have defeated his beloved Vols 12 straight years and counting.

As long as Fat F*** Phil Fulmer is a part of that University, there should be no mercy. So, stock up on cigars and let us begin Hate Week.