NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 8

Good morning friends and welcome back to the most wonderful time of the week. If you remember correctly last week Georgia lost to South Carolina, a loss we all though would take the cake for most embarrassing loss of the season.

This week comes bearing good news for Georgia fans! Your utter dumpster fire performance last week has been topped by Wisconsin just seven days later! It’s probably the only good news Georgia sports fans have received in years.

Outside a colossal Illini upset we had some other good old fashioned B1G hate fill this week with misery. Joining the heavyweight sadness comes two group of five schools in Boise State and Missouri.

Top end terribleness and midtier mediocrity abound this week. Let’s dive in to why these sad folks got so sad.

Wisconsin traveled to Illinois for their homecoming and arrived as 30.5 point favorites. For context, this 30.5 point spread is just under App. State’s 33 point spread to beat Michigan in 2007. Lovie Smith and his santa beard celebrated a 24-23 homecoming win over the Badgers.

Boise State took a perfect record into BYU’s 2-4 home. Against a third string qb and running back the Cougars pulled out the upset and in the process proved to be one of the most confusing teams in the country. BYU won 28-25 ending the Broncos hopes at a New Years 6 bowl.

Missouri faced off against not so bitter SEC East rival Vanderbilt with a perfect SEC record. In a weird year for the SEC East Mizzou had a chance at possibly taking a division title while nobody else is looking. Vandy ended those hopes by beating the Tigers 21-14 in Nashville.

Michigan made the long trek to Happy Valley to leave sad bitter and angry. Jim Harbaugh’s historic struggles against ranked teams continued as Penn State’s white out night game basically ended Michigan’s chances at a win before kickoff. The Nittany Lions would beat Michigan 28-21 in a brutally close defeat.

Bad words will be said below by people on the internet for the amusement of consenting adults. If you are not a consenting adult please stop reading here and have a nice day!

BAD-GERS

I think it’s time we all have a talk with Illinois. Rutgers accepts their beatings every week with no push back. I mean first a close game against Michigan last week, now UPSETTING Wisconsin, it’s gone too far.

Illinois?

Fucking illinois?

Of all teams to do that. Illinois?

Broke: ACC Coastal chaos

Woke: SEC East chaos

Bespoke: B1G West chaos

First time Wisconsin trails all season and it’s with 0 seconds left on a field goal.

That’s painful.

When you claim Georgia losing last week is the reason why two BIG 10 should be in the top 4 only for this to happen.

YOU HAD ONE JOB, BADGER.

Little do you know, it was Chryst’s plan all along to make us look like shit against Illinois to give Ohio State a false sense of confidence.

What the actual fuck just happened. They scored 5 fewer points than Wisconsin allowed all season. THE FUCK

So much for 11-0 Minnesota vs 11-0 Wisconsin

Fuck. We a meme conference now.

We are cancelled

Pass the bleach

Fuck me, man. Classic Wisconsin shitting the bed. Was just waiting for the heartbreak this season.

Knew it was coming the second coan threw the pick. Dude has played amazing all season and of course the ghost hornibrook had to push that ball into the defender. Whatever at least I can stop having any optimism about badger sports ever again

Wisconsin literally had infinite opportunities to prevent this

Wisconsin has deleted the app

”WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE NORMAL???”

B1G: SCREAMS

Welcome to hell. Beers in the fridge; cheese curds are on the table.

Michigan was a warning, Chryst should’ve took it as a warning, but didn’t.

I wanna die. I bought tickets for Columbus yesterday

the midwest just let out a collective “ope”

It was nice of Paul Chryst to improve on Barry Alvarez’s creation and add the forward pass to football this year. Still wasn’t enough to beat Illinois.

Jump around? How ‘bout I jump off this cliff?

BOI DID YOU SE STATE LOST?

Hahaha everyone look at Wisconsin

SMU and Appalachian State have entered the chat

We lost to this

Tonight sucked major ass. YEAH BYU I’M NOT AFRAID TO SAY ASS

Accurate rendition of this game

WHy the FUCK did we not try an onside kick?

Talk to your kids about SMU leading the G5

I swear BYU upsets everyone but then loses to everyone else. Maybe we should’ve just told them they were favored?

This really hurts our chances of going undefeated this year.

Boise so poo poo?

This game was miserable but the one moment of joy came from watching red coat girl. If you’re out there, my dms are open for you

Is this dude okay lol

Just a reminder that BYU got this win with:

A 3rd string QB

A 3rd and 4th string RB

A true freshman at OT

A 3rd string CB

A loss to USF

A loss to Toledo

The last thing your team sees before their NY6 hopes die

BYU is Schrodinger’s poo poo

I hope Chase Cord never starts another game for Boise.

I hope all those who wanted Cord to start over Hank finally shut up.

I hope App makes the NY6

https://i.imgur.com/IwK5sDa.gifv

BYU just had the most polite field rush ever. They are nothing if not consistent.

BYU sacrificed 2 starting QBs to the Lords of Chaos and gained the power to win when they shouldn’t, and lose when they shouldn’t. I hate them but I’ve got to respect it

MIZZOURABLE

A 5-2 SEC team with losses to Vanderbilt and WYoming. This Tiger should be the one on crack, not Clemson’s.

Lmao imagine losing to Vanderbilt

UNRANK US YOU COWARDS

UNLV > VAN > MIZZ > SCAR > GA. The transitive property is fun.

Don’t forget this is the same Vandy team that lost 34-10 to UNLV

Put me out of my Missouri

Tom Sawyer said it best

Ke’Shawn Vaughnderbilt

At least this doesn’t affect our chances at going bowling :(

So... Is Missouri good or bad? The answer is yes

Watch out guys, Wyoming and Vanderbilt are really fucking good

This was a calculated move by Mizzou in order to inflict the maximum suffering on Florida

Well that was disappointing.

No, we shouldn’t fire Barry. We consistently recruit in the 11-14th in the SEC. Our gameday atmosphere is about that good as well, 11-14th. Don’t like it? Show up. I know you won’t.

He has us playing above that. We’re gonna have games like this. Sucks but gotta move on.

AND THATS MIZZOU FOOTBALL BABY!!!!!!

Mizzou going 10-2 with losses to Wyoming and Vanderbilt is would be very much on brand

That TD feels dirtier than my special sock

I’ve never felt shittier about a TD

BRO, IM STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME.

SEC east: here mizzou, don’t fuck up and you’ll make the sec championship.

Mizzou: No thanks.

Mizzou clearly needs to have its football program suspended for 3 years and repopulated with water polo players

Well, hopefully Dooley is done calling the Drew Lock offense and can now start calling the Kelly Bryant offense.

This game should cost Odom his fucking job. You can’t get a team ready to beat Vanderbilt with a third string QB, you don’t get to coach in a P5 league.

SAD KHAKI BOIS

Mom can you come pick me up? This game sucks and I’m not having fun

at least we didn’t lose to Illinois

Michigan officially ties the record for fastest timeout in sports history

Can we just skip to the point where Michigan and Florida play in the Outback Bowl?

I feel so incredibly bad for Ronnie bell holy shit

I hate football

Poor Ronnie Bell. Dude played a hell of a game, just dropped the worst one to drop.

The year is 2049. Michigan leads Rutgers 52-0, but is called for offensive pass interference.

Michigan fan: “Oh, they’ll call that but not the shove on the first-half touchdown for Penn State in 2019? The refs have always hated us.”

This is the best I’ve felt about a game all year and we lost. Why do I keep doing this?

The Franklin Harbaugh handshake at the end. Hitler and Stalin were more cordial.

me watching michigan play a ranked team on the road at night

Even Franklin’s goatee participated in the white out.

i’m starting to feel like we aren’t making the playoff this year

”second mistake for this team”

and there’s more where that came from, bucko

Stop showing the kid crying you soulless shills.

It’s not even kickoff and I’m laughing like the fucking Joker

Can I sue Michigan for psychological damages?

Penn State fans last week: fucking refs need to be repremanded

Penn State fans this week: so what if the refs are awful, play better

Ann Arbor currently

So disappointing to see it end like that. Shea’s best game at Michigan, a dominant second half on both sides of the ball.

That is a serious gut punch.

Ahhh I have been so overwhelmed with “getting blown out” pain that I forgot “you almost had it” pain

https://i.imgur.com/8wzrI9n.png

I hate being a fan of Michigan sports. We choke in every big game in every sport. And not the good kind of choking.

Honestly haven’t felt so deflated after a loss in a long time. (Aka OSU ‘16) Wisconsin was a thrashing so I had no hope but we were so close here. If we just had our shit together in the first half.

Penn State may be having a white out but I am going BLACKOUT. Checkmate, bitches *starts weeping violently*