VICTORY THREAD: ‘Bama smashes Catamounts 66-3

Welp. That went to order. Bama cleared the bench, Seniors got to play, Mac got some snaps, stats were padded, the secondary got some confidence, and no one appears to have been injured —aside from some nicks and scrapes.

66-3 Alabama is your final. Cheers.

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Heads up: At the risk of jinxing us, this post is also going to serve as the Victory Thread around 2:30ish. No point in replicating the schedule during the annual Senior Day / FCS beatdown.

So, here’s what what’s on tap today, what to watch, and why to watch it. All times are God’s Right and Proper Central Standard.

Must See:

Alabama vs. Western Carolina — Tune in for a few series during the 1st and 3rd quarters to check in on how Mac Jones and Taulia Tagovailoa are doing. Then, check back in the fourth quarter to see how many white fullbacks are getting handoffs from Paul Tyson! Alabama needs to shorten the game but put up some style points along the way.

Texas A&M (+14) at No. 4 Georgia — This game is huge for the Crimson Tide. An Aggie win gives Alabama an elite victory and dumps the ‘Dawgs below the Tide in the CFP pecking order. It also may be one of the better contests on a day with slim pickings.

SMU at No. 23 Navy — One team that can’t stop a pass, but runs the flexbone versus another team that can’t stop the run, but runs a vertical HUNHS. This triple option-versus-air raid special has the potential to be a ton of fun and is quite meaningful at the top of the crowded AAC standings

Oregon State (-11.5) at Washington State — Two .500 teams facing far better in-state teams next week in vicious rivalries? That means the loser today will most likely not be bowling. Awful, awful defenses. Great, great passing attacks. Call me kinky, but this game is going to be a great nightcap.

Photo by Brian Murphy/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Keep The Remote At Hand:

No. 9 Penn State (+18) at No. 2 Ohio State — This is being hyped up way more than it probably should be. But, it’s one of the few allegedly marquee games on, so you may as well watch a little bit of the Death Star in Columbus. Or, maybe Ryan Day is freaked about his first Michigan Game and gets outcoached and upstaged by James Franklin? (I know. I giggled a little typing that.)

No. 19 Texas at No. 13 Baylor (+2.5) — I have no idea how Texas is still ranked. Both of these teams are coming off of last-minute losses, and each with various degrees of pain attached. Yet, this one is mathematically important to the B12: If the ‘Horns can pull this one off, and Baylor can lose again next week, then Iowa State or Texas can improbably will play for the B12CG. I don’t see it either, but I do love watching Tom Herman squirm. Probably pull for Texas, just to screw OU’s SOS even more, ok?

No. 15 Michigan (-9.5) at Indiana — Oh, Indiana, so close again last week to getting that first marquee win. Michigan hits the road after a dominating month capped off with a bye. Sometimes byes have the unintended effect of cooling off a hot team though. How distracted are they going to be against this dangerous Hoosiers team the week before The Game? You can’t sleep on IU ever. They’re going to get one of these one day. Is it this one?

ED. Note: UM appears to have actually played last week. However, as terrible as Sparty is, and as lopsided as that second-half was, one can be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Illinois at No. 20 Iowa (-15.5) — Can Lovie keep up the magic at Kinnick, the place where dreams go to die? Illinois has made a habit the last month of playing fun, close games. And, well, close games are just what Ferentz does.

Scoreboard Watching:

I can’t in good faith endorse actually watching these P12 games this week, but do keep an eye on the following out West.

UCLA-USC: Alabama could use a USC loss (a team that had no business being ranked by the CFP Committee) — it is clear that this 4-loss stinker is being used by the committee to count as a good win by the Ducks and as a good loss by the Utes. Go Bruins! It’s not.
Oregon at Arizona State: A USC loss would be sweet. A loss by one of the fraud division leaders would be better. If both happen? That’s a great weekend for us. This is the most likely candidate if it’s going to happen. There is a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.
Arizona at Utah: You don’t like the chances for a Wildcats upset on a neutral field, less so in Rice Eccles. Kevin Sumlin is stealing money again. But, hey, prove me wrong?

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

This Week’s Unwatchable Filth:

Nebraska (-4) at Maryland

It should tell you something that when you type “Nebraska” into the search bar, “nebraska volleyball” is a more relevant suggested search query than this once-proud program. It is a team that has lost by 41 to OSU, that got beat by 3-win Colorado, that struggled against 1-9 South Alabama. It got tanked by four touchdowns against Minnesota. The Huskers lost to Purdue, to Indiana, and eked out a FG win over the woeful Northwestern Wildcats. And each week something different goes wrong — offense first, then defense the next week.

The one constant? The living embodiment of the Peter Principle, Scott Frost, refuses to take responsibility either, as he and his staff throw the players under the bus every. single. week.

But, hey, at least the administration re-upped his contract last week!

Maryland has no such inconsistencies as do the ‘Huskers. The offense has been flat-out awful in conference play...almost as bad as the defense. Peep some of these scores for the three-win Terrapins:

PSU 59 UMD 0
Purdue 40 UMD 14
Michigan 38 UMD 7
Minnesota 52 UMD 10
Ohio State 73 UMD 14

The offense has been saddled with some injuries, to be sure. But mustering 17 in a loss to Temple? Putting up 14 against Purdue? That’s just pitiful.

It should tell you how bad this team is that 4-win Nebraska is a favorite on the road.

This is some uncut, pure unwatchable Big 10 trash. Bon apetit!