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Random Thoughts From Around the Country: And So It Begins

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College football is back and I couldn’t be happier... or snarkier.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: AUG 24 Camping World Kickoff - Florida v Miami
What.A.Tool.
Photo by Roy K. Miller/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Wow, is college football REALLY back??? After watching the derpfest that was Florida-Miami on Saturday night, it is clear that our favorite pastime has indeed made it’s grand return in all its glory. And with the return comes our criticism, griping, and most importantly of all our snark. So let’s get this ball rolling!

FLORIDA 24 MIAMI 20

This game should’ve been Gators 21-3 early on with UF cruising to an easy multiple touchdown win. But the jorts enthusiasts just weren’t having it. I don’t want to hear this crap about “they were rusty” or “working out the kinks”. We are talking about a redshirt junior quarterback in Feleipe Franks with 22 career starts and 17 upperclassmen starters overall. There is no excuse for the fumblin’ and bumblin’ (two lost fumbles, two INTs) that was going on. Since we are on the subject of Franks, let me be frank in stating that he is an immature child. The Gators QB was posing after a score, jawing with opposing players, and acting like an out-of-control ADHD kid low on meds. Not the kind of guy you want as your field general.

SOME OBSERVATIONS

  • If you have a six-year old, go ask him or her, if you are up by four points with 4:20 to go, is it better to run the ball or pass downfield into double coverage on first down on youor own 36? Asking for a friend of Dan Mullen.
  • And can we talk about the UF tackling? D’Andre Swift is going to run for 300 yards on them.
  • The only saving grace for this team was the Florida pass rush that tallied 10 sacks. It is an impressive number but many of the sacks came late in the game as UF was able to rotate in fresh players at will.
  • As for the ‘Canes, they showed some pluck and spirit but they were clearly overmatched. One Miami player who impressed was RB DeeJay Dallas who rushed for 95 tough yards on 12 carries. Probably shoulda gone to him a little more, Dan Enos.
  • The officiating crew was from the Big XII, and they were godawful. They missed several obvious penalties and threw a few flags when ones were not merited. A solid D.
  • After the game, Franks and his coach Dan Mullen were acting like they just won the Super Bowl. Had that been Nick Saban, the whole team would’ve been running stadium steps at 6am Sunday morning.
  • Don’t be surprised if Florida loses to Kentucky in two weeks.

Hawaii 45 Arizona 38

Rut-Roh! Kevin Sumlin is already in hot water. The Wildcats arrived at Honolulu as an eleven point favorite and were sent home with a seven point loss that ended at the goal line.

‘Zona QB Khalil Tate passed for 361 yards with 3 TD and added 108 on the ground, but also threw a pair of picks. The rest of the team had 70 rushing yards.

Hawaii’s Cole McDonald was 29/41 378 yds, 4 TD, 4 INT. All four TDs were caught by Cedric Byrd who leads the nation in receptions (14), receiving yards (224), TD receptions (4), and is leading contender for every college football award.

The Rainbow Warriors next host Oregon State and then travel to Washington. They could finish with a winning record in the PAC if they are not careful.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESMOND HOWARD

Desmond Howard got off to a roaring start over the weekend with a misguided paraphrased quote from a 15 year old “Chappelle’s Show” skit that makes light of domestic violence... at Disney World. Times have changed so much that I don’t DARE repeat it here, but here is a link. He then went on to make a half-ass apology.

“I’m a big Wayne Brady fan and I made a comment that was supposed to be taken as a joke,” Howard said. “If I offended anybody, I apologize.”

He didn’t say what I said was wrong. He basically said if you have no sense of humor, I am sorry for you. Dave Chappelle he is not. TBH, it is a funny skit but you just can’t be saying things like that in 2019 on national TV during daylight hours on a network owned by Disney.

Desi went on to predict Miami with the win over Florida. He also made another eyebrow-raising prognostication.

The GameDay crew made their picks for the season. The biggest shocker is that 99-year old Lee Corso is back for more silliness.

  • DESI - 1. Georgia (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Oregon (PAC Champs), 4. Wisconsin (B1G Champs); Iowa State (B12 Champs); Clemson over Georgia in the CFP final.
  • CORSO - 1. Alabama (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Utah (PAC Champs), 4. Ohio State (B1G Champs); Oklahoma (B12 Champs); Alabama over Utah.
  • HERBIE - 1. Alabama (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Ohio State (B1G Champs), 4. Texas (B12 Champs); Washington (PAC Champs); Alabama over Clemson.
  • Michael Irvin was the guest picker and only one on the panel to pick two SEC teams in the final 4: 1. Alabama, 2. Clemson, 3. Georgia, 4. Miami (he played there); Washington (PAC Champs).

MY PICKS

  • 1. Clemson (ACC Champs), 2. Alabama (SEC Champs) 3. Ohio State (B1G Champs), 4. Georgia; Oklahoma (B12 Champs); Washington (PAC Champs); Alabama over Georgia (see what I did there?).

BAMA STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE

It doesn’t look like Bama is going to get any help with their out of conference slate this season.

  • Duke (8-5 last season) - The Blue Devils lost the best QB in program history after an 8-win season. The media picked them to finish fifth in the ACC Coastal. I give them a 40-60 chance of making it to a bowl game.
  • New Mexico State (3-9) - The Lobos are a horrifically miserable program.
  • Southern Miss (6-5) - The Screamin’ Eagles should be improved in 2019. They have a very good chance at 8 wins.
  • Western Carolina (3-8) - The Fightin’ Cupcakes are riding an 8 game losing streak. #NoMoreFCSGames
  • BONUS: LSU, Aub, TAMU, Tenn and MSU should all get to bowls this winter. OM and SC are borderline. Arky... not so much.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

We had some good feedback some months ago on adoptees for this campaign and two teams that were suggested were Iowa State and Purdue. Let us know if you have other suggestions.

  • Iowa State (8-5) - We started following the Cyclones last season due to their almost-Bama-signee QB Brock Purdy who became the surprise starter in 2018 as a true freshman. But mostly it is because of ISU’s potential to wreak havoc on the Big 12. Last year, they upended then #6 West Virginia and #25 Okie Lite. The year before it was #3 Oklahoma and #4 TCU falling to ISU. To go with that mojo is the fact that they might have a better team for the coming season then in recent seasons.
  • Purdue (6-7) - All you need to know is 49-20. The Boilmakers ruined Urban Meyer and eliminated the Buckeyes from the playoff contention. Also, Rondale Moore is one of the most exciting players in the nation to watch. As added bonus, Louisville graduate Jeff Brohm turned down his alma mater to stay head coach at PU.

ADOPTION CANDIDATE

  • Hawaii (8-6) - The Rainbow Warriors beating Arizona in Week 0 is L0L.

COUSINS

  • Troy (10-3) - The Trojans have a new coach in former Auburn OC Chip Lindsey. There will be some spillover from last season’s success but Lindsey is a first time head coach and fans may need to brace themselves for some growing pains. However, they should make a bowl game. [SIDE NOTE: Lindsey played two years of football at North Alabama but graduated from Alabama. He did not play for the Tide.]
  • South Alabama (3-9) - I harshly criticized the Jags for their hiring of lame dog Steve Campbell and feel vindicated after the mess we witnessed last year. I don’t expect much improvement this fall. They may not win a single FBS game.

THAT ANNOYING STEP-BROTHER WHO IS ALWAYS EATING THE LAST SLICE OF PIZZA BUT DIDN’T PITCH IN TO BUY IT

UAB (11-3) - The Blazers surprised pretty much everyone with their big 2018 effort. Can they repeat? Probably not to double-digit wins but they should have a winning season and contend for the C-USA title.

RS-Patriot

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

All three service academies should start out 1-0.

  • Army (11-2 last season) - The Black Knights will cook Rice (Friday 5pm/6pm on CBSSN).
  • Air Force (5-7) - The Falcons hope to brush Colgate aside (Sat. 2:30/3:30 FalconVision).
  • Navy (3-10) The Midshipmen will show Holy Cross no forgiveness (Sat. 2:30/3:30 CBSSN).
boxers

ELIMINATED

I am tempted to add Miami but what if they win the next eleven? Stranger things have happened...

NEWLY ELIMINATED:

  • All non-Power 5 teams.
  • Arizona - wow, that was quick.
  • Mizzou - Probation bowl ban.

ENDANGERED

  • Miami

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - Clemson aaaand nobody.
  • Big Ten - Michigan, Ohio State, Wisconsin, and throw PSU & Sparty in there just for kicks.
  • Big 12 - Okie, Tejas.
  • PAC-12 - UW, Oregon, Utah.
  • SEC - Alabama, UGA, LSU.
  • Indies - Notre Dame.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The Southeastern Conference has 6 teams ranked in the AP Poll:

#2 Alabama
#3 UGA
#6 LSU
#8 Fla
#12 TAMU
#16 Aubie

Here is my half-ass-rat-poison-as-of-now Top 5 rankings:

  1. Clemson
  2. Alabama
  3. Georgia
  4. Ohio State
  5. Oklahoma

LET’S GO BOWLING

Once again there are 40 bowl games meaning 80 teams can brag to ‘croots about how they went to the ___ Bowl. Only 50 teams will not be able to claim such a thing.

The Playoff Semifinal Games will be played in Atlanta and (ugh) Arizona. The Championship Game will be held in New Orleans on the latest date ever for a college football game, January 13, 2020.

It is the last year of the @storied@ association between the SEC and the Independence Bowl in lovely downtown Shreveport, Looziana. Good luck, Vols!

STAT OF THE DAY

  • The Arizona Wildcats were flagged 10 times for 88 yards on Saturday night/Sunday morning. They led the nation in penalty yardage (82.3 per game) and averaged 8.7 penalties per game last year.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Jorts Nation. You barely beat a middle-tier ACC team on a neutral site (that is actually closer to your campus by about 225 miles).

HEISMAN HYPE

With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. There is already some rollover from last January.

WHO WILL WIN

  • Trevor Lawrence (QB Clemson Soph.) - I hate to say it, but the writers have found a new bright shiny icon to gush over, and it is the guy with the girl’s hair.

WHO SHOULD WIN

  • Lawrence certainly deserves consideration but Clemson’s competition is mostly trash. His first three games against Georgia Tech, Texas A&M, and Syracuse will be telling, but the talking heads have short memories and they will forgive him because he soooo dreamy.
  • Tua Tagovailoa (QB Alabama Jr.) - We know the talent is there but can he stay healthy? Also, the voting body is sooo bored with him.

Runner-Ups

  • Everyone else. This is a two-man race. Sorry Jalen-lovers.

If I had a vote:

  • It’s still too soon to say.
NCAA Football: Virginia at Miami Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

THE SICK REPORT

  • Nick Saban injury report: “Justin (Eboigbe) has a foot injury that is not a long-term injury. He’s day-to-day. I would say he’s questionable for this game.”
  • Also from Saban: Alabama OL “Deonte Brown, who is suspended for four games, will be able to participate probably in the next couple of days.”
  • Auburn WR Anthony Schwartz underwent surgery on his left hand Aug. 5 after he injured it during a blocking drill early in preseason camp. He is questionable for the Oregon game.
  • Clemson star receiver Amari Rodgers continues to rehab from a torn ACL suffered in the spring. He will not play Week 1.
  • Linebacker Daniel Bituli, leading tackler for Tennessee the last two seasons, had a knee procedure and will be out for an unspecified time.

DRAMA

  • Tennessee has indefinitely suspended DB Bryce Thompson amid domestic assault arrest. He was a Freshman All-American for the Vols in 2018. Ouch.
  • Texas sophomore WR Joshua Moore has been suspended for the team’s opener against Louisiana Tech due to his arrest and charge with unlawful carrying of a weapon on Aug. 1. Huh. I thought that was a requirement in Tejas.
  • Arky is going with SMU grad-transfer Ben Hicks (whom Morris recruited and coached before taking the Arkansas gig) over TAMU grad-transfer Nick Starkel at QB.
  • Mike Locksley has named his QB starter at Maryland in former Va Tech starter Josh Jackson.
  • Little Tate Martell is not the only high-profile transfer to ride the pine. Former Wisconsin QB Alex Hornibrook transferred to FSU and he will be holding a clipboard for sophomore beanpole James Blackman.
  • Urban Meyer is still a piece of donkey excrement.
Black and White TV

EYEBALLS

Florida-Miami delivered a 4.1 overnight TV rating, the best college football game on ESPN since November of 2016 so says the four-letter network. Of course it was the ONLY game on all day before bedtime.

If anyone watched Hawaii-Arizona on CBSSports please let the Nielsen people know. They are still counting.

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the Houston Baptist-UTEP game, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, August 29

Georgia Tech at Clemson 7pm/8pm The first game ever on the new ACCNetwork - a channel that nobody gets.
Texas State at Texas A&M 7:30/8:30 SECN
Utah at BYU 9:15/10:15 ESPN - Everybody is high on the Two Utes this year.

Friday, August 30

Tulsa at Michigan State 6pm/7pm FS1
Wisconsin at South Florida 6pm/7pm ESPN - Why did Wisky agree to a trip to Tampa to play a non-P5? In August?? It’s not even a 2-for-1.
Colorado State vs Colorado 9pm/10pm ESPN (Denver)

Saturday, August 31

SEC:

Toledo at Kentucky 11am/noon SECN
Ole Miss at Memphis 11am/noon ABC - The Tigers are a 6 point favorite.
Mississippi State vs UL-Laf 11am/noon ESPNU - In the New Orleans SuperDome.
South Carolina vs North Carolina 2:30/3:30 ESPN - Last time SC was in Charlotte, they were getting their asses handed to them by UVa.
Georgia State at Tennessee 2:30/3:30 ESPNU
Portland State at Arkansas 2:30/3:30 SECN - Arky’s best chance for a W!
Georgia at Vanderbilt 3pm/4pm SECN
Georgia Southern at LSU 6:30/7:30 ESPNU
Oregon vs Auburn 6:30/7:30 ABC (JerryWorld) - Spread has dropped from Aub being a 6½ point favorite to 3½.
Missouri at Wyoming 6:30/7:30 CBSSN - The debut of Kelly Bryant.

NATIONAL:

FAU at Ohio State 11am/noon FOX - Too bad we are robbed of Kiffin vs. Urban.
Northern Iowa at Iowa State 11am/noon FS1
South Alabama at Nebraska 11am/noon ESPN - Troy took down the ‘Huskers a year ago. Can USA repeat this result? LOL no.
Indiana State at Kansas 11am/noon JayHawkVision - Crazy Uncle Les is BACK!
Northwestern at Stanford 3pm/4pm FOX
Syracuse at Liberty 5pm/6pm ESPN+ - Hugh Freeze’s return to Jesus and football may be delayed as he is stuck in a hotel room recovering from back surgery.
Boise at Florida State 6pm/7pm ESPN (Jacksonville, FL) - For the first time in a long while, neither of these teams are ranked.

CAN’T SLEEP?

Fresno at Southern Cal 9:30/10:30 ESPN - This is no slam-dunk for the Trojans. Fresno was 12-2 last season including a bowl win over Arizona State.

SPILLOVER

Sunday, September 1

Houston at Oklahoma 6:30/7:30 ABC - Jalen Hurts makes his debut in crimson and... cream??? So wrong...

Monday, September 2

Notre Dame at Louisville 7pm/8pm ESPN - This will be a borefest for everyone but Irish fans.

#ALABAMA

FROSH

Alabama will be starting three true freshmen - NG DJ Dale, WLB Christian Harris, PK Will Reichard - and potentially a fourth in Evan Neal at one of the guard positions.

MOVING ON UP

The odds of Nick Saban winning more games this season than Mack Brown are pretty solid. UNC is projected to achieve four Ws this year. Saban should catch Mack (as quickly as this Saturday), surpass him and leave him in the dust.
The next targets of LaVell Edwards and Tom Osborne will have to wait for 2020.
(For clarification, this list is FBS/I-A wins only. No wins while coaching at FCS/I-AA or lower level schools are included.)

GAME 1, Saturday, August 31, 2019, 2:30/3:30 ABC

Duke vs Alabama 3:30 PM

Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA

Steve Levy & Brian Griese will call the game. Todd McShay and Molly McGrath man the sidelines.
Of course there is always Eli Gold on Alabama Radio .
Vegas has the Tide as a 35 point favorite with an over/under of 57.

#RollTide

POLL:

Poll

Who wins Auburn-Oregon

This poll is closed

  • 48%
    Auburn
    (233 votes)
  • 51%
    Oregon
    (246 votes)
479 votes total Vote Now