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NSFW: It’s Meltdown time! Week 2 — The Cries of Texas are upon you!

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A lone star state special

NCAA Football: Brigham Young at Tennessee Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

We’re in Week 2 of the season and already we’ve been gifted a bounty of beaUTiful meltdowns so early in the season. Not every early week brings such a harvest of sadness so let us enjoy the anger while it’s here.

Texas hosted LSU in Austin for the first time in many years and also had their first top 10 matchup at home in several seasons. The Tigers dominated in the first half but the Longhorns rallied in the second half but fell short of a big win. Though Texas looked good (and don’t you dare tell them I said this) it didn’t stop fans from getting mad online and yelling about allegedly fake cramps.

Tennessee welcome back to what might become your permanent home. The Volunteers lost 29-26 in OT to BYU but that’s not the embarrassing part. With 30 seconds left and BYU at their own 20 down 3, the Cougars threw a 61 yard pass to get into field goal range and send it to OT.

Nebraska went into Boulder to take on the Buffaloes flooding the entire stadium with red shirts. Despite having a 17-0 halftime, the Huskers still went on to lose in OT 34-31. Though it might not have actually been Scott Frost day it sure did feel like it in our hearts.

Texas A&M took their show on the road to Clemson with huge unearned confidence after a big win over Texas State. Don’t believe the 24-10 final score, it wasn’t that close. A sad touchdown at the end obscured what a truly inept offensive day from the Aggies.

Be warned! The language below has several c*ss w*rds so if you don’t like foul language you should get the h*ck out while you still can.

BIG COW DON’T LIKE ITSELF

”I will fuckin’ go for it on 5th & goal! I don’t give a shit!” - Tom Herman

4th and inches against an SEC defense...
Texas: “Shotgun formation it is.”

I have Matthew McConaughey’s class and I know he’s gonna give us a quiz on Monday because of this game.

Can either school be DBU if both QBs and their receiver were unstoppable?

Who let LSU have a QB? It’s not fucking fair

https://twitter.com/RJ_Writes/status/1170492669971353606

Defensive Back Community College

Petition to grant LSU honorary Big XII status

Heat Index tonight was actually hotter in Baton Rouge than Austin, because of the higher dew points & humidity.
https://w1.weather.gov/data/obhistory/KBTR.html
https://w1.weather.gov/data/obhistory/KATT.html
Did any of their offensive players go down with ‘heat’ cramps?

One of the great things about being a Texas fan is that the football team plays at least 10 P5 teams each year. I heard some SEC honk on XM 84 mention recently that Georgia is really showing the world who’s the balls by playing an amazing 10 P5 games this year.
“Wow. I’m sexually aroused, Commander.”
You know who else plays 10 P5 games this year? Every fucking Pac 12, Big 10, and Big 12 team in existence, you myopic fuck. These fucking clowns have gone so deep into their own fart-huffing that they forgot that the sport is actually played beyond the range of their backwater region.
Anyway, part of what’s great about how Texas plays its 10 P5 games is that the 10th game is damned near always against a worthy opponent with a well-known brand. This year is no different, as the horns don their gear this Saturday to face a powerful foe in the LSU Tigers. It should be a great match-up and fun Saturday night. And by that, I mean I expect Texas to stomp a deep and dirty mudhole painfully into the ass of these Cajun hillbillies and send them packing back to the swampy nether regions faster than you can spot corruption in their state government.
Edit: Ffuck it I still think I was right.

I might never watch football again. I hate this shit.

Ehlinger had 461 total yards 5 total TDs and no turnovers. If he did this against LSU, what the fuck is he gonna do to the Big XII? Probably lose to Kansas again

Mrw LSU throws the horns down

Don’t ever wear those shirts again

Dont mind us, just getting our quality loss

I am not alright alright alright

That will teach you. Nobody goal line stands texas 11 times in a row

Just walked outside and started cramping and laid on the ground for 30 minutes I guess it’s an Austin thing.

DBU - Dehydrated Back University

Texas is:
☐ Back
☐ Not Back
☑ Matthew McConaughey on suicide watch

The last time LSU beat Texas was in Dallas, the same city where JFK was assassinated later that year. Coincidence. I think not. #GrassyKneauxll

MORE LIKE NOTSVILLE

My wife keeps asking if I’m okay because I’m not as upset as I usually am at Vols football. Little does she know that therapy and low expectations mean the Vols can’t hurt me any more

Fire everyone. Take away every kids scholarship. Especially our POS QB.

Maybe take a few years off like UAB.

Have watched UT football (and bled orange) for over 45 years. Not sure what the hell has happened the last 15 years or so, but it is apparent that no one involved with this program today cares about the legacy of the program and pride the fans of this program have displayed.

I’m so old I can remember when Tennessee played football.

Pruitt. Your gone

At least our rival Georgia State almost lost

Is raising your son up to be a Vols fan considered child abuse? Asking for a friend.

Tennessee had a 99.6% chance of winning this game with 31 seconds left in the 4th. ROCKY TOP, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE
.4% AWAY FROM ME

Tennessee just got beat by some poo poo

WHen u finally hit Rocky Bottom and still keep sinking

Man that was a close game. That D-II school really gave BYU a scare

So when can we expect the official announcement from Tennessee that they’re shutting the program down?

Remember when Tennessee fired Fulmer because they were tired of winning 9 games a year? LOOKS LIKE WE GOT WHAT WE WANTED

Cheap therapists near me
EDIT: My bad, this isn’t Google

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

The tiny dumpster I have purchased to paint and have a fire in.
It is small enough to fit all my hopes and dreams for this season of UT football, and then set them on fire.

0 and Tennessee

How many more middle school kids will now get bullied for wearing a Tennessee shirt?

SAD CORN BOIS

Nebraska was at 96% to win the game halfway through. Yikes

This hurts Nebraska’s chances of staying ranked

Fuck my butt

sCoTt fRoSt fIniShEd 2018 sTrOnG

https://imgur.com/gallery/aOGlNZ8

Nebraska needs to fire Mike Riley.

RIP Nebraska hype: offseason 2019- week 2 2019

Remember when that guy put $2800 on Nebraska to win the Natty at the casino in Iowa?

Nebraska and the inability to finish a game. Name a more iconic duo…

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me for two decades, shame on me.

Nebraska on the AP poll

When Frost is your coach, your kicker is always iced.

End my suffering

Pac-12 Before Dark.

https://twitter.com/Hassel_Chris/status/1170478587318681600

TIL that Colorado literally means “colored red”. Named for the Nebraska blood spilled

AGGRAVATED AGGIES

Trevor Lawrence looks like squidwards house

Trevor Lawrence: breathes
Announcers: That’s exactly what you want in a NFL QB. In and out.

Jimbo vs Dabo: Battle of the ‘bos

Hopefully clemson puts 50+ pts on every other team they play so we can brag about holding them to 24 pts

Jared Hocker guaranteed a win over Clemson, but he never said it would be this year. #4DCHESS

Yo who tryna get fucking SAD in here

beat the spread but at what cost

Pretty crazy A&M tried to play without a QB against the #1 team in the country. Bold move

Such a disgraceful display by the offense. This is a great defense that doesn’t deserve the offense they have

Kellen Mond: ain’t it. Tired of watching this kid. I don’t care what anyone says, he’s not any better than he was as a freshman. I could have been here at A&M to watch Johnny play, or kyler Murray..but nah, of course I was the kellen mond era.

Haha fuck you I told you I didn’t see a way we don’t cover. Cries into his whiskey

that final touchdown ruined winning $500 from my parley bet :(

This game I think showcases the difference between a good team and a great team. Clemson took advantage of opportunities. Their talent and coaching let them turn a lot of contested played into positives for their team (wow some of those catches!). They didn’t make many mistakes, especially when it counted.
A&M just couldn’t eliminate mistakes on offense, and great teams like Clemson make you pay for those.

The secondary for A&M is encouraging. They’re so much better than last year. Hats off to the Clemson offense for taking advantage of the opportunities they had. Those receivers are absurdly talented.

Offense just needs to put it all together. Even when Kellen was on, we were getting false starts and snaps into his feet. You can’t beat great teams like that. The offense has one more game to get cleaned up before we get to SEC play. I really think we have potential, but you have to eliminate the mistakes great teams don’t make. It’s just damn embarrassing week in and out.

Let’s assume Mond is great He can throw the ball very well in a game as well as run. We have seen evidence of this. How in the hell do you coach his freaking mind to make him play his position of QB and do things that should come second nature.This guy is a head case. Having a bad day is one thing but showing up like you never played QB before? How does a coach deal with head cases??? He should be well over this by name as a junior!

Did the explanation of why it was over-turned make sense to those more knowledgeable in college football? How could they whistle the play dead, for too many players on the field prior to the snap, when it doesn’t become an issue until the ball is snapped?How did the play get to be be played without anyone hearing a whistle if they reportedly blew the whistle at the snap? There’s no way it wasn’t ESPN colluding to put Clemson back in the title game even though that safety would’ve turned the tide and started the inevitable comeback. This is some bullin’ ass bullshit

Fuck our offense, marry the defense, kill the refs so they can’t hurt anyone else.