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Random Thoughts From Around the Country: Pure Michigan

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Harbaugh’s annual debacle, flopping Irish, Aubie rat poison and more!

If you are still wasting your life watching the NFL instead of college football, I ask of thee: Why???

The weekend got off to a smashing start on Thursday night when Tulane came back from a 28-7 deficit to shock Houston on the last two plays from scrimmage.

Some of you may think this is poor sportsmanship, but it’s against wannabe Houston and their chicken-s*** coach Dana Holgorsen, so I will allow it.

Georgia 23 Notre Dame 17 - All the prognosticators (including yours truly) thought the Dawgs would put the hurt on the Irish. But a thumping never really materialized. Kirby Smart seemed to panic at times in the game and his Bulldogs had more than a few chances to put the game away sooner than they did. Thanks to the closeness of this game, Notre Dame might still be in the running for a playoff spot. I don’t know if UGA is overrated, ND is underrated, both or neither.

Oh, yeah. Sumlin went there.

Auburn 28 Texas A&M 20 - Bo Nix was mediocre (12-20, 100 yds, 1 TD) yet everyone is still gushing over him for some reason. IT’S THE DEFENSE, STUPID. Gustavo Malzahn is playing a Kirby Smart game with freshman QB Joey Gatewood, getting him a snap here and there trying to trick him into thinking he has a future at Auburn. The back-up has played in four games and attempted two passes. He’d be stupid to hang around.

Kellen Mond (31-49, 335 yds, 2 TD) once again looked inept and flat for most of the game, missing opportunities to keep his team in the game. He never really woke up until the fourth quarter with 17 points but by then it was too late. The Aggies are 2-2 and still have to play LSU, UGA and Bama.

Wisconsin 35 Michigan 14 - @Honestly, who could have predicted this?@ The Badgers came out and smacked Big Blue square in the jaw, scoring two touchdowns in each of the first two quarters and cruised to an easy win. Michigan was outgained 487 to 299 and committed four turnovers. Shea Patterson completed only 14 of 32 passes and many of the completions were in garbage time. The Wolverines QB had a pick and lost fumble.

SEC

Alabama 49 Southern Miss 7 - The Crimson Tide took care of business with minimal mistakes to tick off Nick Saban. Back-up QB (for the time being) Mac Jones threw a pick and Tua was sacked once. Bama committed only one penalty - a big improvement over the previous three games (8, 4, 5). Beyond that and a letdown during the last six minute of quarter number two, it was a pretty complete game against a team that should make a bowl this year.

LSU 66 Vanderbilt 38 - Joe Burrow slung it all over the yard (25-34, 398 yds, 6 TD) but the big concern should be this LSU defense. For a program that prides themselves on defense, the Tigers have given up an awful lot of points. And it’s not garbage points. Often times, Tigers defenders are out of position, missing assignments, or making poor tackles. LSU gave up a 41-yarder to Ke’Shawn Vaughn on Vandy’s first offensive play. He also broke loose for a 52-yard TD run in the third quarter. The ‘Dores scored 30 points in their previous two games combined.

Florida 34 Tennessee 3 - The Vols are bad, y’all. Like may-not-win-another-game-this-year bad. They compiled just 239 total yards and only 12 first downs. UT committed seven penalties and four turnovers. UF quarterback Kyle Trask threw a pair of interceptions and lost a fumble but the Gators were able to overcome the turnovers with a smothering defense.

Cal 28 Ole Miss 20 - After holding a one-point lead, Cal came out strong in the second half and built their lead to 28-13. The RebelManBearPigSharks made a late charge with a fourth quarter touchdown, followed by another procession to the goal line with a semi-controversial non-review of a non-score. If you haven’t seen it yet, OM threw a pass to the goal line which was spotted short (a correct call IMHO). There were two screw-ups but neither were from the on-field refs. Even with the lame angles that ESPNU were showing, the reception looked short of the end zone. However on such an important play, the replay ref should have stopped play for a review. This is not a good look for the PAC-12 refs with the Sparty screw-up still fresh on everyone’s minds. The other guilty parties were Matt Luke’s undisciplined Ole Miss players who were walking around with no sense of urgency as the clock made its way to triple zeroes and no timeouts. [See, this is why Saban has everyone running everywhere in practices.] A desperate QB sneak failed and the game ended. Even if they had scored, they would have had to convert a two-pointer just to tie and go to overtime.

[SIDE NOTE: Remember how there were so many controversial targeting calls in Week 3? I cannot recall seeing too many this past weekend outside of one iffy one and one obvious one by Wisconsin safeties. I guess those B1G refs did not get the memo to “chill out.” The big issue with officials this week seems to be the neglect of replay officials. There were a few other games this weekend in which the booth refs failed to ring down for reviews on certain close plays in games outside of the OM one.]

Mississippi State 28 Kentucky 13 - Watching GameDay, I was a bit surprised how everyone picked UK to win this game on the road. Did they not see the NFL Draft? This is NOT the same Wildcats team that won ten games a season ago. Plus, they are playing with their back-up quarterback. Sawyer Smith was an abysmal 15 for 41 for 232 yards and a pick. MSU’s Garrett Shrader and Kylin Hill combined to rush for 245 yards with Hill finding paydirt three times. Willie Gay had a 52-yard pick six and was later ejected for a second unsportsmanlike conduct penalty (aka shooting his mouth off). Prepare yourselves for that Nov. 16.

Missouri 34 South Carolina 14 - SC had a chance to keep this one close. Trailing 24-14 in the third quarter, the Gamecocks mounted a promising 14 play/72 yard drive to the Mizz goal line, when Ryan Hilinski passed to the wrong color jersey and it went the other way for 6. After that, you could see the big quit in South Carolina. Rico Dowdle fumbled the next possession. That was followed up by a duo of 3-and-outs. Ya have to wonder if Will Muschamp has lost this team.

San Jose State 31 Arkansas 24 - For the tribulations of traveling across the country and drubbing the Pigs, SJSU received a cool $1.5 million.

NATION

Pitt 35 UCF 34 - GOD BLESS THE PITT PANTHERS! Now we don’t have to hear the delusional blubbering from the Orlando Tragic for a while. A week ago, observers were calling Pat Narduzzi a coward for kicking a field goal late in the game against Penn State from the 1-inch line down 7 (they missed and lost). So who is a coward now? Down 6 points at the three yard line with 56 seconds remaining, Narduzzi called for a trick play (above) to stun the No. 15 Knighties. Cojones.

SMU 41 TCU 38 - Former Texas QB Shane Buechele has got it going on in Dallas. The Mustangs and Boise are the only non-P5 teams at 4-0.

Appalachian State 34 North Carolina 31 - For once, the ACC’s ineptitude paid off. This game was only available on the ACCN+ app that NOBODY has. UNC outgained Appy 469 to 385 and had 29 first downs to 16 but also turned the ball over 3 times - two of which were converted to touchdowns. New Coach Fever has definitely worn off in Chapel Hill.

THE WACKY PAC

If I had told you a month ago that the only PAC-12 team still undefeated on Sept. 22 would be Cal, you would have called crazy. Well lookie here. Three unbeaten PAC teams fell this weekend. All were favorites.

Southern Cal 30 Utah 23 - On Friday, the Clay Helton roller coaster headed back up a hill as the Trojans upset the tenth ranked Utes. Southern Cal lost another quarterback when Kedon Slovis/Sedon Klovis took a big hit from a gigantic 335-lbs Polynesian. Third-stringer Matt Fink (21-30, 351 yds, 3 TD, 1 INT) came in and - much like fellow forgotten junior bench-sitter Kyle Trasker for Florida - sparked his team to a big win. The Utes loss drastically endangers the PAC-12’s chance of landing a team in the playoff.

UCLA 67 Washington State 63 - The Bruins had scored 43 points in their first three games and put up 67 against Wazzu in Pullman. While most of us were sleeping (aka passed out), UCLA rallied from down 49-17, including 29 fourth quarter points to upset the No. 17 Cougars.

Colorado 34 Arizona State 31 - The Buffs bounced back from a home loss to Air Force to win on the road at No. 24 AzSt. This game went back and forth with four tie scores (not counting 0-0). A 44-yard CU field coal with two minutes remaining was the difference.

Ohio State 76 Miami-Oh My 5 - Bucky was trailing 5-0 midway through the first quarter before they went on a 76-point run to secure the win.

FROM THE WTF DEPARTMENT

Virginia 28 Old Dominion 17 - Last season, ODU upset Virginia Tech and this year they had their sights set on the Cavaliers. Things were going pretty well for the Monarchs, leading 17-0 at halftime and 17-14 with ten+ minutes to go. That is when the head coach made a baffling decision to go for a first down on 4th and 1 ... from their own 29 yard line. !?!!?!?! It wasn’t a fake punt or a trick play. The play was a straight up the middle run that was easily stuffed. Predictably, UVa took over momentum and scored the go-ahead touchdown two plays later. Remember them at Christmas, Wahoos.

KEY & PEELE ALL-STARS

  • Rachad Wildgoose, CB, Wisconsin - of course it’s Wisconsin.
  • Swayze Bozeman, LB, Southern Miss - ROAD HOUSE!
  • Oklahoma State has a roster full of K&PAS: Mbari Snoddy, Jahmyl Jeter, Sean Michael Flanagan (think he is Irish?), Cole Goodnight, Amen Ogbongbemiga, and of course Kolby Harvell-Peel.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESMOND HOWARD

Desi was again stellar. His picks to win: TCU (lost), UCF (lost), Colorado (won), Wash (won), Oregon “wins big” (a lackluster 21-6 win over slumping Stanford), Michigan State “in a close one” (won by 21), UK (lost), Fla “by a field goal” (31-pt win), TAMU (lost), Michigan (lost).

Sadly, Lee Corso’s Bama-Utah dream scenario is likely kaput.

Teams in BOLD below already have one loss.

  • DESI - 1. Georgia (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Oregon (PAC Champs), 4. Wisconsin (B1G Champs); Iowa State (B12 Champs); Clemson over Georgia in the CFP final.
  • CORSO - 1. Alabama (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Utah (PAC Champs), 4. Ohio State (B1G Champs); Oklahoma (B12 Champs); Alabama over Utah.
  • HERBIE - 1. Alabama (SEC Champs), 2. Clemson (ACC Champs), 3. Ohio State (B1G Champs), 4. Texas (B12 Champs); Washington (PAC Champs); Alabama over Clemson.

MY PICKS

  • 1. Clemson (ACC Champs), 2. Alabama (SEC Champs) 3. Ohio State (B1G Champs), 4. Georgia; Oklahoma (B12 Champs); Washington (PAC Champs); Alabama over Georgia.

BAMA STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE

A little help?

  • Duke (2-1) - The Blue Devils had the week off to prep for a journey north to struggling Va Tech.
  • New Mexico State (0-4) - The Aggies pathetically lost to New Mexico 55-52. Up next is loss No. 5 to Fresno.
  • Southern Miss (2-2) - USM now hosts UTEP and should stomp them into tiny little microfibers that get stuck down behind your sofa cushions.
  • Western Carolina (1-2) - The Fightin’ Cupcakes had a bye. I just pray they didn’t take that time off to install an option offense.
  • BONUS: LSU, Aub, MSU won. OM, Ark, TAMU, Tenn, SC all lost.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

  • Purdue (1-2) - The Boilmakers had a week off to prep for Minnesota.
  • Iowa State (2-1) - The Cyclones took out their frustrations on UL-Monroe 72-20. They are at 3-0 Baylor.
  • Hawaii (3-1) - The Rainbow Warriors dumped Central Arkansas 35-16. Next is a trip to Sin City Lite, Reno, to play Nevada. Btw, have you been to Reno? BOOOORING.

Potential Adoption

  • It figures that I give Wyoming (3-1) some love and they turn around and lay an egg. The Cowboys trailed 24-21 and drove to the Tulsa 10 but fumbled with 50 ticks to go. They should get back on the winning side vs UNLV.
  • K-State had a bye week.
  • UL-Laf 45 Ohio 25 - Saban protege Billy Napier has Laffy at 3-1 and may well be favored in the rest of their games this season.
  • Tulane (3-1) anyone?

COUSINS

  • Troy (2-1) - The Trojans beat the stuffing out of Akron in Ohio 35-7. They should be favored over Ark State.
  • South Alabama (1-3) - The Jags and their pathetic coach slide further into the depths of purgatory with a 35-3 loss to Birmingham U. USA is staring straight down the barrel at 1-11. If you are an alum and give half a crap about your football program, you will let your AD know what you think of this horrible coaching hire. @UL Monroe

THAT ANNOYING STEP-BROTHER WHO STINKS UP YOUR BATHROOM AND DOES NOT REPLACE THE TP ROLL.

UAB (3-0) - The Blazers beat up on South Alabama like we knew they would. I have to wonder why nobody has come after coach Bill Clark. The job he has done in Bham is nothing short of amazing. Florida State would be a good candidate. @WKU

RS-Patriot

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

The service academies are looking good, so far.

  • Army (3-1) - The Black Knights dominated the Morgan State... Freemen(?) 52-21. In two weeks, they host upstart Tulane.
  • Air Force (2-1) - The Falcons hung with Boise with both teams accumulating 355 total yards but fell 30-19. Next is San Jose State who is coming off a high of beating Arkansas.
  • Navy (2-0) - The Midshipmen had a week’s furlough as they prep for an invasion of Memphis (Thurs, 9/26).
boxers

ELIMINATED

PREVIOUSLY ELIMINATED:

  • All non-Power 5 teams - that means you UCF
  • Arizona
  • BC
  • BYU
  • Colorado
  • Florida State
  • Georgia Tech
  • Kansas
  • Luville
  • Illinois
  • Indiana
  • Iowa State
  • Maryland
  • Mississippi State
  • NC State
  • Miami
  • Michigan State
  • Nebraska
  • Northwestern
  • Oregon State
  • Pitt
  • Purdue
  • Rutgers
  • Southern Cal
  • Stanford
  • Syracuse
  • Texas Tech
  • UCLA
  • UNC
  • Virginia Tech
  • Washington
  • West Virginia
  • Arky
  • Kentucky
  • Mizzou
  • Ole Miss
  • South Carolina
  • Tennessee
  • TAMU
  • Vanderbilt

NEWLY ELIMINATED:

  • Arizona State
  • Wazzu
  • Okie Lite
  • TCU

ENDANGERED

  • Virginia, Wake
  • Oregon, Cal, Utah
  • Minnie, Indy, Michigan
  • Fla
  • Tejas
  • Notre Dame

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - Clemson and absolutely nothing.
  • Big Ten - It’s still Ohio State and Wisconsin. Michigan is a joke. PSU and Iowa will lose at some point.
  • Big 12 - Okie vs Tejas.
  • PAC-12 - OUCH! Only Cal remain undefeated from the conference. There is not much chance of that lasting much longer.
  • SEC - Alabama, UGA, LSU... Auburn?
  • Indies - Notre Dame hung with UGA but could still have a chance depending on what others do.

DARK HORSES/SPOILERS?

  • ACC - Duke or UVa
  • Big Ten - Iowa
  • Big 12 - K-State
  • PAC-12 - Oregon
  • SEC - Auburn (promoted)
  • Indies - ND

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The Southeastern Conference has 6 teams ranked in the AP Poll. HALF of the top ten are represented by the SEC.

#2 Alabama
#3 UGA
#4 LSU
#7 Aubie
#9 Fla
#23 TAMU

Here is my after-four-games-half-ass Top 6 rankings but DON’T TELL CLEMMY!

  1. Oklahoma
  2. LSU
  3. Alabama
  4. Ohio State
  5. Auburn
  6. Georgia/Clemson

LET’S GO BOWLING

  • 40 bowl games; 129 eligible teams. Vandy (0-3) is the only P5 team without a win but still won’t fire their coach.

STATS OF THE DAY

  • Anthony Gordon threw for 570 yards and nine TD passes for Washington State - and LOST.
  • Arkansas’s Nick Starkel had five interceptions in a loss to San Jose State. that is five more than Tua Tagovailoa has thrown all season.
  • Michigan was 0 for 11 on third down conversions vs Wisky.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Arkansas football for their stupid hiring of Chad Morris. First off, his name is “Chad”. Secondly, he is awful. Did you see those idiots dancing in the locker room after beating Colorado State? Colorado State? The same Colorado State who lost to Toledo at home this past weekend? And then Arky loses a home game to San Jose State, a team who was 3-22 over the last two seasons. And finally, everywhere Morris leaves gets better upon his departure. Morris was OC at Clemson from 2011–2014. Since he left that job for SMU, CU has lost 4 games in 4+ seasons with two NCs. The SMU Mustangs are currently 4-0 for the first time since 1984 after upsetting No. 24 TCU. Wanna start winning Piggies? Fire that damn coach.

Bonus KK “SHUT UP!” on Notre Dame floppers. On at least two occasions late in the game, Notre Dame players conveniently became injured once the UGA offense started rolling. And it worked. The slowdowns helped the Irish catch their breaths and it killed UGA’s momentum.

The above should be a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty on the player and head coach - AND reviewable.

This second one is not out of the realm of possibilities of being real, but it sure looked fake as **** and it slowed UGA down at a crucial juncture.

KK would like to see a rule enacted that makes a player sit out more than one play - especially when a guy may have been subbed out anyway. If a guy is lying on the turf and play is halted, perhaps he needs to sit 2 plays, 3 plays, the rest of the series, the rest of the quarter? Vote in the poll below.

HEISMAN HYPE

With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the slobbering press and other voters will callously crush on (see last year).

  • Jalen Hurts (QB Oklahoma Sr.) - Okie did not play but he’ll be back dominating awful B12 teams in no time.
  • Tua Tagovailoa (QB Alabama Jr.) - Tua has another rock-steady performance against a mediocre team.
  • Joe Burrow (QB LSU Sr.) - Had a pretty good game against a bad Vandy team.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

RK PLAYER TEAM COMP ATT PCT YDS YDS/A TD INT SACK ATT/TD
1 Tua Tagovailoa ALA 87 112 77.7 1300 11.6 17 0 4 6.6
2 Joe Burrow LSU 100 124 80.6 1520 12.3 17 2 7 7.3
3 Justin Fields OSU 66 95 69.5 880 9.3 13 0 6 7.3
4 Anthony Gordon WSU 137 183 74.9 1894 10.4 21 4 5 8.7
5 Justin Herbert ORE 96 129 74.4 1127 8.7 14 0 7 9.2
6 Sam Ehlinger TEX 102 140 72.9 1237 8.8 15 1 6 9.3
7 Dillon Gabriel UCF 63 104 60.6 1057 10.2 11 2 7 9.5
8 Dan Ellington GAST 75 120 62.5 846 7.1 11 2 8 10.9
9 Jamie Newman WAKE 96 135 71.1 1278 9.5 12 2 4 11.3
10 Brandon Peters ILL 69 117 59 765 6.5 10 3 11 11.7
11 Jacob Eason WASH 87 119 73.1 1063 8.9 10 2 4 11.9
12 Cole McDonald HAW 106 160 66.3 1317 8.2 13 9 4 12.3
13 Mike Glass III EMU 103 150 68.7 1120 7.5 12 4 4 12.5
14 Dorian Thompson-Robinson UCLA 72 125 57.6 1063 8.5 10 5 10 12.5
15 Anthony Russo TEM 77 129 59.7 944 7.3 10 5 4 12.9
16 Chris Robison FAU 98 151 64.9 1100 7.3 10 1 10 15.1
17 Logan Bonner ARKST 91 153 59.5 1052 6.9 10 1 10 15.3
18 Drew Plitt BALL 119 176 67.6 1373 7.8 11 4 11 16.0

  • You want efficiency? Tua has efficiency. Among QBs with at least 10 TD passes, Tua is throwing for a score every 6.6 attempts - tops in the nation. He is second in TD passes thrown with 17 but has no interceptions or lost fumbles.
  • Jalen: The Sooners opponents so far are pretty bad. Houston lost again, making that win look less impressive every week. Can we just fast forward to the The Red River Shootout on October 12?
  • Justin Fields (QB anOSU Soph.) might start to get some attention when they get into the meat of their schedule. But like I have said before, he is not very likeable and that matters to voters.
  • Burrow has been good but get back to me when the schedule kicks into high gear. The Tigers play FLA, @MSU, AUB, @Alabama in consecutive games.

Runner-Ups

  • Trevor Lawrence (QB Clemson Soph.) - CU not playing this week was probably the best thing for Sunshine’s profile right now
  • Jonathan Taylor (RB Wisconsin Jr.) - TayTay got hurt in the Michigan game, missing the second quarter, and guess what happened to the Badgers. Nothing. They kept on dominating the Wolverines. Hmm. Maybe he is a product of the system? Is he a Melvin Gordon or a Montee Ball?

If I had a vote:

  • I just have a feeling this is not the real Joe Burrow. At least with Jalen and Tua, we saw the potential last year. Tua edges out Jalen.
Will Reichard’s mom.

THE SICK REPORT

  • From Nick Saban Saturday: “DJ Dale, I think, is going to be OK. He had a little like patella (kneecap) tendon strain, but doc thinks he may be OK. Hopefully, we get some guys back for this game. We’ll just have to make day-to-day decisions during the course of the week as to how much they can practice.”
    Saban Monday: Did not practice Monday, expects him back at practice Tuesday (today) or Wednesday and “ready to play in this game.”
  • Saban on Terrell Lewis sitting out the USM game: “Terrell hyper-extended his knee in the last game (NMSU), so it was a strategic decision that needed to get made relative to if they do a procedure that sort of helps the healing process now or wait until the bye week. So, we always are going to do things relative to what’s in the best interest for the player. We kind of left it up to Terrell. He wanted to do it and try to get well as soon as possible. So, I would think by next Tuesday (today), we’re hopeful that he would be able to be back in the swing of things and doing thins the right way and be able to play next week. But it’s always going to be day-to-day in terms of how he responds to the treatment.”
    Saban Monday: Did not practice Monday, expects him back at practice Tuesday (today) or Wednesday and “ready to play in this game.”
  • Saban: “Will Reichard has a pulled hip flexor, which, as a kicker, may be difficult for him to manage. He did it on the kick that sort of kicked the tee instead of the ball. He may be questionable for this (Ole Miss) game.”
    Saban Monday: “He is a little more day-to-day and a little more questionable.”
  • Saban when asked “what’s the plan” for OL Deonte Brown who becomes eligible this week: “The plan for every player on our team is the guy’s got to beat somebody out, if he wants to play. Nobody is entitled to play. He gets in shape, does what he is suppose to do, shows that he can play better than somebody else that’s playing, that’s the plan.” “That’s really kinda up to him.”
  • Markail Benton also did not play on Saturday. He too watched from the sideline in street clothes. Saban did not address Benton’s condition.
  • LSU leading-scorer WR Terrace Marshall (6 TDs) was on crutches after four receptions for 75 yards. Ed Orgeron said it “didn’t look good”. He is expected to be out up to a month after foot surgery.
  • LSU middle linebacker Michael Divinity hurt an ankle and was seen in a walking boot. Orgeron commented that it “looked pretty significant.” (At least I think that is what he said...)
  • UGA starting left guard Solomon Kindley injured his leg in the first half and did not return. He may be out awhile.
  • Texas lost two starting DBs for a month, a third DB for longer, and a backup LB for the season.

DRAMA

  • After four games, senior starting QB D’Eriq King of the Houston Cougars has said he plans to sit out rest of the season and redshirt but remain with the team - basically because the season has gone to s*** and he wants a reboot. Starting WR Keith Corbin (11 rec-192 yds, 2 TD) has followed suit. There is some belief that coach Dana Holgorsen might be behind this move. It makes sense. Running away when things get tough is nothing new to him. He chickened out on coaching big-time football at West Virginia for a “safe” job. This is total abuse of NCAA rules and a slap in the face to the rest of the Houston team, especially the seniors, who still have much to play for. Why the NCAA sits by and let’s this poorly-thought out rule remain intact as first written in crayon is beyond me.
  • Per a report from The State, there are multiple reports that starting CB Jamyest Williams, one of the top players in the South Carolina secondary, is leaving the program. He has appeared in four games for the Gamecocks this year. As a true junior he can retain this year of eligibility and have two years at his new school.
  • Gustavo Malzahn was hemming and hawing all last week about poor injured DL Derrick Brown and how he was at death’s door. However, Brown played and dominated. See, Gustavo, this is why the NCAA wants to enact NFL-like injury reports. It’s because of sneaky little s***s like you.
  • Jimbo Fisher says A&M RB Vernon Jackson “will probably never play again” due to recurring injuries. With Jashaun Corbin down for the remainder of the season himself due to injury and Deneric Prince in the NCAA transfer portal, the Aggies are now down to three backs at what seemed to be a very deep position prior to the start of the season: freshman Isaiah Spiller, junior Jacob Kibodi, and sophomore Cordarrian Richardson. Texas A&M had a total of 56 yards rushing and 2.7 ypc average against Auburn. Mond was the leading rusher with 26.
  • Oklahoma kicker Calum Sutherland was arrested on a public intoxication charge over the weekend. That’s what a bye week will do to a guy.
  • Former Ole Miss and Texas quarterback Jevan Snead was found dead in Austin. Snead started out his career with the Longhorns but was beat out by Colt McCoy. He would transfer to Ole Miss where he led the program to back-to-back nine-win seasons and two-consecutive victories in Cotton Bowls in 2008-2009. After his junior season, he made the unwise choice to turn pro and went undrafted. Foul play is not suspected in his death. He was 32.
  • Fat F*** Phil Fulmer keeps a poster of Fredo Corleone on his bedroom wall.
  • Urban Meyer eats kittens for breakfast.
Black and White TV

EYEBALLS

Overnight ratings for ND-UGA were the highest of young college football season including LSU-Texas earlier this month. However, they were down from last year’s CBS primetime Alabama-LSU game.

THIS WEEK

College GameDay is heading to Lincoln for Ohio State-Nebraska

(Below is an abbreviated list of games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the Akron-UMass game, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, September 26

Navy at Memphis 7pm/8pm ESPN - Memphis is favored by 11. Hmmm...

Friday, September 27

Duke at Virginia Tech 6pm/7pm ESPN - Dook has a chance to make a statement.
Penn State at Maryland 7pm/8pm FS1 - Does it blow your mind that PSU leads this series 39-2-1? I, for one, will be rooting for the Turtles.
San Jose Canseco State at Air Force 7pm/8pm CBSSN - Back to reality for SJSU.
Arizona State at Cal 9:30/10:30 ESPN - Will Cal get their first L?

Saturday, September 21

SEC:

Because of the way the calendar falls this year, everyone gets two bye weeks this season. UGA, Mizz, Tenn, and LSU sit this weekend.

Texas A&M vs Arkansas 11am/noon ESPN - Arky has lost five straight to TAMU in JerryWorld, seven straight overall. That can’t be good for recruiting. Fans on both sides are tiring of this series.
N. Illinois at Vanderbilt 11am/noon SECN - This might be the worst game of the week involving a P5 team.
Towson at Florida 3pm/4pm SECN - Everybody plays.
Mississippi State at Auburn 6pm/7pm ESPN - With TAMU vanquished and Florida up next, could this be a trap game for Aubie/Gustavo?
Kentucky at South Carolina 6:30/7:30 SECN - This one could go either way.

NATIONAL:

Clemson at North Carolina 2:30/3:30 ABC - No reason to watch Clemmy bodyslam UNC.
Virginia at Notre Dame 2:30/3:30 NBC - ELIMINATION GAME!
Southern Cal at Washington 2:30/3:30 FOX - ELIMINATION GAME!
Ohio State at Nebraska 6:30/7:30 ABC - ELIMINATION GAME!

GOODNIGHT MOON...

Washington State at Utah 9pm/10pm FS1 - ELIMINATION GAME! Two teams coming off upset losses.
UCLA at Arizona 9:30/10:30 ESPN - What kind of ridiculousness will come out of this one?
Hawaii at Nevada 9:30/10:30 ESPN2 - Aloha

#ALABAMA

FROSH

  • True freshman Justin Eboigbe got his first start at defensive end in place of injured LaBryan Ray. He had 3 solo tackles on the day. Other freshmen starters included Shane Lee (3 solos, 2 asst, 1 sack), defensive tackle DJ Dale (no stats, injured), offensive guard Evan Neal, Jordan Battle (2 solo, 1 asst, 1 TFL, 1 fumble recovery) and kicker/punter Will Reichard (I don’t want to talk about it). Linebacker Christian Harris (1 solos, 5 asst, 1.5 TFL) did not officially start since the Tide began the game in nickel package.
  • QB Taulia Tagovailoa - 1 for 1 passing 20 yards, 3 rushes, 8 yards
  • DL Byron Young - 1 asst
  • DB Scooby Carter - no stats
  • WR John Metchie - 1 rec, -4 yards
  • TE Jahleel Billingsley - no stats
  • DB Marcus Banks - no stats
  • DB Demarcco Hellams - no stats
  • LB King Mwikuta - no stats
  • OL Darrian Dalcourt - no stats
  • OL Pierce Quick - no stats

Also of note, senior DL Tevita Musika saw extensive action in the game, likely due to depth issues. He had 1 solo, 1 asst.

RANK NAME YEARS WINS LOSSES BEHIND
1 Joe Paterno 46 409 136 168
2 Bobby Bowden 44 346 123 105
3 Bear Bryant 38 323 85 82
4 Pop Warner 49 311 114 70
5 LaVell Edwards 29 257 101 16
6 Tom Osborne 25 255 49 14
7 Nick Saban 24 241 63 -
8 Mack Brown 30 240 119 -1
9 Lou Holtz 33 236 112 -5
10 Bo Schembechler 27 234 65 -7

SEE YA, MACK

Mack Brown began his head coaching career at Appy State - at the time a D-II team. This weekend his Tar Heels lost to that same school. It’s nice to see him come full circle. Due to that defeat, Mack has fallen behind Nick Saban in career wins as a FBS/I-A coach. Expect Saban to leave crazy ol’ grandpa in the dust by season’s end.

GAME 5: Saturday, September 28, 2019

Ole Miss at Alabama

Bryant-Denny Stadium, Tuscaloosa, AL
2:30pm CT/3:30pm ET, CBS

  • Announcers: Brad and Gary with designated blonde Jamie Erdahl.
  • Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
  • Alabama is 54-10-2 all-time against Old Mississippi.
  • Vegas has the Tide as a 35 point favorite with an over/under of 61½.
  • Gary mentions of the 2014 or 2015 game is set at 127½.

The regular season is already one-third of the way over! Revel in it, fellow Gumps.
After the OM game this Saturday, Bama has a week off as they plan for a trip to College Station. It’s okay to go to Disney World or a wedding on October 5th.

#RollTide

Poll

If a player is lying on the turf and play is halted to assist him, how long should said player sit out?

This poll is closed

  • 24%
    Keep it at 1 play.
    (120 votes)
  • 14%
    2 plays
    (70 votes)
  • 7%
    3 plays
    (38 votes)
  • 9%
    4 plays
    (44 votes)
  • 38%
    The rest of the series.
    (187 votes)
  • 4%
    The rest of the quarter.
    (20 votes)
  • 1%
    Other (see my astute observations in comments)
    (7 votes)
486 votes total Vote Now