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NSFW It’s Meltdown time! Week 4

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Sleepover U; Irish eyes are not smiling; Frogstomp; BBQ; Knighty-night

Big Ten Football Media Days

Some weeks it’s difficult to find even three teams worthy of the meltdown. Other weeks there are ten that have what it takes. This week filled it up with teams losing in totally embarrassing ways to teams they shouldn’t have.

Conference play heats up and still some teams manage to show their full butts this late in the season when they don’t have early season excuses to hide their shame. You have to respect them for it.

Michigan went into Wisconsin’s home and got beat so bad even Ohio State fans were embarrassed for them. The Wolverines were outclassed handily and the 35-14 final score doesn’t come close to showing how big a blowout this was.

Notre Dame traveled down to Athens for a top 10 matchup in which they truly thought they stood a chance this year. Georgia beat them 23-17 in a game Notre Dame fans were more upset about than they had right to be.

TCU fresh off a top 25 ranking faced off with Sonny Tykes’ SMU squad in Fort Worth. The Horny Toads lost 41-38 to their inmetroplex rivals for the first time since 2011. UCF went to Pitt and fell subject to the Pitt superweapon losing 35-34. Those UCF fans will be quick to remind you it’s their first regular season loss since 2016 and they’ll have just as much a national championship as the year they beat Auburn in a game that wasn’t the national championship.

Arkansas had a bad day. I mean they really just had an absolute stinker. The Razorbacks hosted San Jose State, a team who went 1-11 last season. Those hogs paid SJSU $1.5 million to come in and beat them in their own home 31-24.

The language below is filled with bad words, mostly by MIchigan men, so don’t scroll down if you don’t want to see a swear.

MICHIGAN, MAN

Harbaugh just watched an opposing team absolutely annihilate his squad with the exact brand of offense he failed to install in the same year that he abandoned that effort to hand the reins over to a first time play caller who is clearly in over his head. That would probably be incredibly frustrating if it wasn’t for the millions of dollars Michigan has showered him with.

What’s worse for us, a 28 point deficit or a 28 point deficit and then Urban Meyer doing the halftime report? Nothing

Shea Patterson: “We’re looking to make a statement” Monkey Paw curls

Michigan under Jim Harbaugh:
~0-4 against Ohio State
~1-9 vs. top-10 opponents
~0-7 as an underdog
~1-6 on the road against ranked opponents
~Five losses by at least 21 points, including three of their last five games

You guys are laughing now but when Michigan is hoisting that Little Caesar’s Bowl trophy in the 3rd week of December we will see who’s laughing then

I’m pretty sure whoever runs the cameras is either a MSU or OSU grad because they’re just reveling in sad Michigan fan shots

Live look at the Michigan locker room

You can’t expect Michigan to compete with a team like Wisconsin who has every recruiting advantage and a large amount of historical success to flaunt

Michigan has 96 yards of offense. Their first offensive play of the game was a 68 yard pass. Over the final 23:30 of the first half Michigan gained 28 yards.

This lopsided score doesn’t represent how lopsided this game was.

Michigan is: https://i.redd.it/qo19jiaggzn31.jpg

This team is so goddamn bad. There are literally no strengths at all.

I hope Michigan wins instead of loses. A lot of the time they lose and everyone here is very mean to me and helps make me want to kill myself.

We now go live to Jim Harbaugh’s press conference…

So I was reading about how badgers and wolverines are related and wondered if this counts as inbreeding because Wisconsin totally fucked Michigan’s brains out

That was the biggest 21 point blow out of all time

Pile it on. I don’t give a fuck. Can’t kill what’s already dead.

Jim Harbaugh

I’m beginning to think that my beloved Wolverines may not win the National Championship this year

Really nice of Urban to show everyone exactly how he dicked us down last year.

Charles Woodson was on the post-game show and he was near tears when he was talking about how embarrassed he was to be debuting on the post-game show and to be embarrassed by his team in front of his colleagues. Never related more to a professional athlete than right then.

You all suck. Grow some fucking balls and support your team. This fan base really is the worst. Any sign of adversity and you crumble. Fucking pathetic. You all suck and deserve all the loses. BTW, Ive already quit drinking and gone to bed.....Assholes!

And the letter of the day is…

I watch Michigan football because I hate myself.

We have all gone insane As we all know, yesterday’s game was a clusterfuck of epic proportions on par with the worst losses we’ve ever seen as a program.

None of us are optimistic for the rest of the season or even next year. Some of us even think that Harbaugh should be fired.

I’m here to tell you that absolutely is not going to happen.

By all accounts he runs a clean program and has only lost 15 games thus far in his tenure. The stadium is still full and the AD is drowning in cash, so unless we have a losing record, followed by another one next year, I sincerely doubt Harbaugh will be fired.

Rich was fired because he was never competent in games against quality opponents. Hoke was fired because you could get into the stadium for the price of two cokes in 2014.

So if you really believe Harbaugh should be shown the door, give up your season tickets. Stop going to games. Stop buying merch. Because nothing is more important than money, and the AD is still making plenty.

THE PACIFIST IRISH

Moral Victories: The History of Brian Kelly’s Notre Dame Fighting Irish‬

Some say that they are still false starting.

For our Navy and Gold friends who are accustomed to NBC or ABC broadcasts, I welcome you to Brad and Gary’s Chick-Fil-A Commercial Extravaganza with Some Football on CBS!

Have you ever seen two dads yelling at each other in public and saying they want to fight but never actually swinging? That’s the Georgia and Notre Dame offensive showdown so far.

How do you let 2 free rushers through on a 4 man rush on a 4th and 9 to win the game? What in the hell

It puts ND fans in the position of like, I saw every second of ND football from the moment Lou Holtz left to the moment Brian Kelly was hired and there is no argument you could make that he hasn’t modernized ND as a program and stabilized it after years of instability.

I’m just sad that I know for a fact that Brian Kelly coached teams will lose big games. I just watch out of respect for the players’ effort, but I’d be a fool to think these outcomes aren’t guaranteed.

You can’t fire BK because who do you get that’s better? We’ve gone through that fog with a string of bad coaches and I don’t want to go back there.

On a most-points-wins-the-game scale, the real loser tonight was notre dame

We have found how to beat Georgia. Don’t let them play in the second half. It’s foolproof.

Given the opportunity, I would curbstomp gary

loss hasn’t hurt this bad since 05 USC. Don’t care about the Clemson or Bama games. Those were slaughters. This just hurts.

Why Notre Dame great til they gotta be great?

How can I go into a game with zero expectations and still leave heartbroken? Because we proved we could hang and we were only a few broken plays away from a W. This is some grade B for Bullshit.

I’m throwing a flag out for excessive commercials

No one:
Gary: circles a guys crotch

Time to shotgun 6 lokos and comment angrily online

You guys remember that scene from Lord of the Rings where Faramir hopelessly charges towards Osgiliath in a vain attempt to reconquer a fallen glory? This feels like that.

two yard checkdown pass “MY GOD, FROMM IS A MAGICIAN WITH THE BALL!” - these announcers

Gonna have nightmares about this girl for weeks

Dread it
Run from it
A beating from a ranked SEC team still arrives

HORNLESS TOADS

I’m glad TCU has such a large scoreboard now. Wouldn’t want anybody in that stadium to be confused about what the score is right now.

How. Do. You. Not. Capitalize. After. That. Fuck. Up.

Should’ve changed shirts smh

When was the last time SMU was this good? ...oh. Nvm.

The best thing about the new big xii commerical is the show Baylor images at the same time as they mention uncompromising values

We got away with ripping a guy’s helmet and tossing it 20 yards downfield on that pick and still didn’t win. Bullshit

We are so one dimensional that army is shocked

Damn SMU litterbugs. SMU doesn’t care about the environment!

Smu: We demand to be taken seriously

Tcu: we demand to not be taken seriously

We need to fire Sonny Cumbie. He is terrible. But ultimately our defense lost us that game.

SMU: I think I’ll choke away the game
TCU: Hold my dad’s credit card

First things first credit where credit is due. SMU you played your hearts out and fully deserve the win and all the trash talk that will follow. You punished every mistake.I understand turnovers put them in a bad spot at times but knowing we have an 18 year old QB and an inexperienced O Line, the defense can’t give up 41 at home.Lastly though, When down by 7 in the 3rd Quarter, kick the field goal and don’t make our 230 lb running back try to throw. Come on Gary/Cumbie.

Don’t let SMU beating TCU distract you from the fact that the last time SMU was 4-0 to start off the season was 1984.

SMU just had more skillet

That 4th and 1 call will haunt me.

that was the worst ending ever :(

We’re a basketball baseball women’s rifle school anyway

Anyone kickers want a trans am? Asking for a friend.

There’s not enough cocaine to dry these froggy tears :’(

SILVER KNIGHTS

Don’t worry UCF, it won’t affect your playoff chances

Everyone knows the PITT SUPERWEAPON only works against National Title contenders. This is more respect than the CFP committee ever gave us.

Pitt deciding to kill UCF instead of impede Clemson this year, maybe they’ll do both?

UCF HAS LOST A REGULAR SEASON GAME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 1029 DAYS

My favorite part of being a UCF fan, panicking when things don’t go perfect. UPDATE: I was right to panic

Who the fuck is rambling on my TV about INVESTORS and trying to relate it to UCF????
That’s some of the dumbest shit I’ve heard in months. Fuckin’ Kansas State, Wake Forest, Mississippi State...these are schools in the damn “Power 5”. Has anyone been to Manhattan, KS or Starkvegas?!?! Washington St is in the damn Power 5 - da fuck have they done in basketball/football recently???
The thing that is killing these “Group of 5” schools is that the Power 5 doesn’t kick out schools. If you were smart enough to have the foresight fucking 50-80 years ago you are making MILLIONS of dollars today. Once again, Kansas fucking State is making millions. BAYLOR is making millions. Many of these schools who lucked into this shit is making millions while UCF gotta “schedule a perennial big time school”. As if they’re going to fucking get Bama to agree and it not be in 2040 or some shit.

”Golden Knights” already. Jesus Christ ESPN.

Another proud graduate of the USF School of Clock Operations

Is this a quality loss for UCF? I mean, Pitt did beat UCF after all

Fully convinced Pitt can both beat and lose to any team in the country

This hurts UCF’s chance of going undefeated this season.

How do you go from kicking a FG down 7 at the one last week to calling that ballsy trick play the next week

”Eat shit” - Pitt

A team from Pittsburgh beats UCF with a play popularized by a team in Philadelphia. Oh how the turn tables

They’re chanting OVERRATED holy fuck

Well well well, looks like the most overrated team in the country is in the state of Florida after all

It’s time to talk to your kids about the Pitt Super Weapon

Gabriel is a joke. Milton would NEVER get sacked twice on the last drive of the game like that. #ComeBackMckenzie

PITT celebrating a win with 25 seconds on the clock and then faking an injury after celebrating is grade A trash

Shit status: uneaten

AP Poll voters tomorrow

UCF has left the CFP chat

TEXT THE HOGS

No need for Bernie to campaign for free college now. Just get a scholarship to play like a bum at Arkansas.

My 5 year old could coach a better ball game and he eats pine cones.

A team that entered the day with a 4-23 record in their last 27 games, was a 19.5-point underdog, and had lost 25 straight games against Power 5 teams since 2006.That’s who Arkansas lost to tonight, at home.

HAHHAHAHHAHA WE JUST PAID $1.5 MILLION TO LOSE TO ONE OF THE WORST TEAMS IN THE FBS HAHAAHAHAH

UNT was way better than SJSU, and so was ULM. The Citadel came in a transition year into a new conference. There’s no way those are worse than this. SJSU went 1-11 last year. This is in the second year of a coach’s tenure. This is unacceptable.

This is the lowest point in modern program history, somehow. I’m done with this staff, and that’s not something I say lightly. Absolutely disgusting.

Fire everyone. Pay some fucking players. I don’t give a fuck anymore. Literally anything different would be nice.High school coach. Losing AAC record. Can’t beat a SJSU team that hasn’t won a road game since 2016 and went 2-10 in a G5 conference last year. I’m an alum. This isn’t acceptable. And if you still support Morris, you aren’t intelligent enough and don’t have the pride to call yourself a hog fan

I’m starting to think maybe Tate Martell had a valid point about Nick Starkel.

You’re welcome Tennessee.

I propose a winner take all between Arkansas and Tennessee, winner can claim they’re not the worst team in the SEC

Arkansas only now has to face A&M, Auburn, Alabama, LSU, Mississippi State, Kentucky, and Mizzou.

hey Tennessee...wanna go on a field trip with us? it’s a beautiful place.It’s called the Sun Belt

SAN JOSE ISNT EVEN A FUCKING STATE

We better fire someone. Chavis. Morris. Craddock. Something better fuckin happen.

I’m utterly embarrassed. Watching them dance around in the locker room last week after beating Colorado State. Coming in here completely unprepared and getting their asses whipped. That’s on Chad Morris. He should know better. I’m done and ready for basketball season. Pathetic.

Do you hear those booos? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND PLAY TO YOUR SKILLS! Way WAY too much talent on this team to be getting beat by SJS! You can think cupcake win all week long BUT NOW YOU HAVE TO COME BACK AND PLAY THIS CUPCAKE AND WIN!

24-7 San Jose St if anyone was wondering. Too embarrassed to put the score

Me irl

Clemson is fine without Morris as OC.

SMU is 4-0 without him, and just beat TCU.

Seems like everyone is better when he leaves.