NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week Two

For week two of Meltdown Time, we have two fanbases in Texas and Auburn who are absolutely, positively, unmistakably done with their respective head coaches.

Texas didn’t play any defense this week at all, but they still were in position to punch in the go ahead TD with about two minutes to play.

Then this happened.

Ingram had just ripped off a long run, and head coach Tom Herman decided to go hurry-up and get that play off. He was ostensibly trying to take advantage of a gassed defensive line, but in that situation wouldn’t you be better off, I don’t know, running some time off rather than snapping the ball with 20 seconds left on the play clock? Herman says no, and as you can see it didn’t matter anyway.

In Auburn, they will never get used to their annual whippings at the hands of the Bulldogs, but at this point they know they are stuck with Gus Malzahn. That fanbase is about ready to quit.

As always, the language in this post is horrific. If you are offended easily, read no further. You have been warned.

The rest of you degenerates, enjoy.

(No, this photo wasn’t taken at the socially distanced TCU game. Back to the programming)

we are fucking dumb. Herman needs to be fired after this game.

Dumbest coaching staff in CFB, easily.

What the fuck is this thud tackling bullshit

Tom is the biggest pussy

If I’m Ash, I go and kick Yurcich straight in the testicles

Tom Herman is a bitch and I’ll tell him that to his face. Go do a line and let your nuts drop coward. What a wimpy ass possession.

so defense gets thte stop we need and offense swallos its own dick.

sterns is an overrated pussy bitch too

4 years starting qb and we still can’t win shit. I’m done until we get someone else, including a new coaching staff. Thanks for trying Sam, but you just can’t get it done. Fuck you Herman for being shitty at every part of the game and your pussy hires. Fuck this team for sucking shit, and our top 3 2018 class is shit.

Run off the field you stupid motherfuckers. You aren’t worthy of the eyes of texas.

I don’t know why some of you guys are mad. You should only be mad at yourself if you weren’t demanding Herman be fired last year.

I honestly expect Riley to go full no lube on us. Hell, I almost hope he does. Just put the kill shot on Herman’s entire existence at this program.

Burn it to the ground. We’re pathetic and deserve all the sports pain we get. Embarrassing

Tom Herman sucks, TCU owns us, the Big 12 is an abortion, and I’d just like to say “Hi” to the good people of college football meltdown. Now, I’ll log off and kill myself.

I am convinced that the services that rank recruits year in and year out your fucking fries because there’s no way that we have this much shitty unathletic talent on our team every single year but the recruiting services give them these high marks

If we win the SJW award will we put that up in the stadium? Nice use of the spring, NOT!!!

Biggest problem I see is too many guys wearing orange shirts who don’t have the brain of a pissant

Give me fatterson. All day everyday over herman at least he gives a fuck.

Fuck you Tom you fucking stupid dipshit

TCU players, staff and fans don’t deserve to be happy.

I blame all the primo pussy on campus

If you still support Tom, consider drinking bleach

Imagine the money that Herman can make selling punches to the head at the end games.

No more emotional investment in this shit product anymore

Done. Fuck Tom. And, fuck covid for probably saving his job.

Fuck Ingram. Fuck Yurcich and a BIG BIG fuck you to Herman. Chew your fucking gum and tell us how good TCU shitty faggot football is.

Everyone on offense is slow. Receivers can’t catch or get open on a regular basis. No headhunters on defense. Sam is Simple Jack. Best player is fucking Dicker.

Where have I seen this before? Oh. Every season for past fucking 10 years.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this fucking year.

Tom Herman is a got damn fraud.

Tom Herman is not worried about getting fired. He knows it is a certainty at this point. It’s just a matter of if it’s this year or next. So when you see him on the sidelines and you could swear you care more about us losing than he does….it’s because it’s true. He is thinking about this just the way you or I would. He is making 5 Million dollars a year. Just ride it out as long as possible. Then move on to the next stop. Five years from now Texas will be no part of his universe. He thinks the fans are pathetic morons. Fuck Them. I am rich. My family is set for life. He is even getting some sick pleasure from inflicting pain on the fanbase. If you want to say that is BS then watch the game again and look at his smug ass on the sidelines. He pulled off a hell of a con. He only had to do it once. Congratulations Tom, you piece of shit. I can only hope Karma slaps your ass. In the mean time, can we move on to Urban?

Every time I see a job listing that looks good, but I don’t quite meeting the requirements for, I think of Tom and go ahead and apply. If he can get paid millions for faking it, we all can.

Why are you mouth breathing pussies trying to blame Ingram fumbling on him being ran 3 plays in a row? Did you miss the part where he tried to extend the ball over the plane from a yard and a half out? Or was that rockheaded decision because he was too tired and needed a breather. Maybe we could find a running back that doesn’t fumble every time he’s asked to stay in the game for a full set of downs.

Someone please list for me the number of Mensa members who were great football coaches. I’ll hang up and listen.

let me just finish hitting my dick with this hammer and I’ll be right with you

Leaving a South Austin’s mom-sized gaping hole in the middle of the defense. Yep. Our stink is a lot worse than Florida and Ohio State post Urban Meyer.

People are just nose blind to the smell from sniffing their own farts. This program is a shit pile with old crusty Mack Brown and Charlie Strong turds under Herman’s diarrhea.

John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

(Gus sports that Dwight Schrute short sleeve shirt-and-tie look well, doesn’t he?)

FU Gus Malzahn. 8 years in , and you are still an embarrassment.

Is money spent on a new FB building really a better investment in the program than paying Gus to leave?

I’m afraid if Auburn doesn’t get things straightened out that we’re going to become a Tulane or a Georgia Tech eventually.

7 Million! The cost of mediocrity!

Welcome to living hell

I’ve prepared my anus appropriately. I’m ubmeltable tonight

I mean, it’s the same shit, different year with these fucks from Georgia.

If we lose to UGA with this garbage ass QB, Gus deserves to be beheaded.

We suck bro

How much do we owe this fucker?

I may not have seen anyone epitomize “look like Tarzan play like Jane” as much as big kat

This shit is over.

They are bigger and meaner than us. Oh well. Fuck you fuck me

At least Gus will have Lanier to suck his dick after the game

#basketballschool

Don’t worry guys, we will beat Arky by 40 next week and we’ll just take things one day at a time. We have a bunch of fighters. No body is going to believe in us. Only direction we can go is up.

:Gus Malzahn nazi salute going up gif:

Fire-Gus.com is available to buy for like $5 for anyone interested

What kind of fucking play calling was that? That’s some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen and I’ve watched every god forsaken down of Gus Malzahn’s shitass head coaching tenure.

Guys, have fun. I’m going to drown myself in bourbon.

We must have covid

Done with Gus. Fuck him. He had a good thing going with Nick, but his cocky ass thought he could do better by hiring a winless coach for the offense. OMG, this is the SEC. FML!

The most painful thing about this is we know we are going to lose and we have to hope next year will be different. Wait another fucking year to lose again. Fuck all this. Fuck Gus.

Holy fuck, Nix is a bigger pussy in the pocket than Stidham.

2012 called. It wants its vagina back.

I peaked early this year. Usually I am not this Gustrated until October!

Oh. Wait.

Hard to get the message to the AD by having a half empty stadium this year too.

S@^$#^&T!

Could someone just taze Gus on camera?

Im going with...we suck ass-balls, so what ever we do from here on out that doesn’t suck ass-balls, comes out as a sorta win!