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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 8: Michigan and South Carolina fans are done with 2020

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On a week beset by COVID cancellations, the Cocks and Wolverines carry the mail.

Thanks to COVID and contact tracing and all that jazz, this was a light week in college football. Still, we got some surprisingly solid meltdown performances from South Carolina and Michigan fans who were and are, respectively, done with their head coaches. South Carolina fans got the news they were waiting for when Will Muschamp was subsequently canned, but in Ann Arbor they will apparently have to wait out what promises to be one of the ugliest seasons in their history.

As always, the language in this post is horrific. If you are sensitive to such things, point your browser elsewhere. You have been warned.

The rest of you, enjoy.

Good evening fellow masochists

I bet if you played a drinking game where you took a shot every time you saw an SC defender’s arm try to rip the ball out to no avail you’d be piss drunk before the first quarter ended and would be putting yourself at risk for alcohol poising.

It’s laughable how awful this team is, not even mad. Lane Kiffin knows they cannot stop Ole Miss.

HAHAHAHAHA Did y’all just hear what the color analyst said? “It will be interesting to see if South Carolina makes the adjustments on defense?”

Holy crap, this guy should try a career in stand up.

why

[sobs]

why

So, Chris Doering Just Explained It All

“With Israel Mukuamu out, South Carolina’s defense is suspect”…..Absolutely LOL….really?? A friggin CB is out, and because of that, this defense cant stop anyone? Whatever….what an absolute load of shit this defense is….with or without Mukuamu….they are dreadful….soft, slow, stupid and a total liability. The good news is that they play in the most overrated conference in the history of man….and Ole Miss’ defense is also a gaggle of pussies. If SC can continue to run the ball, and stay committed to the run, as unbelievable as it sounds they have a chance to win….but they MUST keep that little league defense off the field!

now let the blowout begin

WE ARE READY FOR YOU TO RUN US OVER, LANE TRAIN

Pfft. (Places paper bag over head)

Wonder What Muse Will Have to Say

“Karens and fat dads”….thats what that bigmouth Muse called the SC fan base for booing the poor participation trophy underachievers on SC’s team last week! Well, I am a “fat dad”…..but at least I would have caught that key first down, which Muse dropped, against TN. Yea, this team is soft….soft…soft….a group of utter pussies, and Muse is one of them.

So is

Stop, drop and roll a Quarterback maneuver?

Stop running it Lane you puss run the score up

Oh shut the fuck up. This is sickening to watch. Muschamp is trash. Fire him now.

God I fucking despise Muschamp

“And Carolina’s Dreams are still alive!”

What dreams?

I genuinely believe our average fan knows what is better for this program than the coaches do. I feel like the Collin Hill hill is a horrible hill to die on. Sticking by your poor judgement week after week is a fucking sham. Clean house. Someone give Harris a blowjob on their way out of the facility after you pack your shit he earned it.

Good. Let the beatdown flow. Get us a new coach, please god get us a new coach.

Wow I hope we never play these fuckers ever again

Hey everyone, I’m a South Carolina fan, and I’m an addict.

It’s like two dumpster fires trying to fight over who’s got the bigger flame.

Wonder if muschamp is going to get lane kiffined in Oxford for poetic justice

“Defensive guru”

OSU will beat us 100-0. Come on COVID cancel this damn season.

Honestly, the entire stupidity of Michigan football is encapsulated by running the first two downs, five minutes left in the 4th quarter, down ~40. It’s completely clear Jim has no idea what’s happening anymore.

The guy is beyond forest gump levels of retardation.

I am curious what kind of reality has settled into this coaching staff’s collective brain at this time.

Having watched The Detroit Lions for 50+ years I think I know when I see a putrid football team that is poorly coached. This team is CLEARLY putrid and CLEARLY poorly coached. How Harbaugh keeps his job after this season would need a lot of explaining.

Please god let this season get canceled. F all of you who wanted a season this year.

Defense taking social distancing to the next level. Swiss cheese vs Stilton.

Harbaugh looks like a complete ass with that mic under his mask. It looks like he is sucking on a cock.

Surely Warde spent the 2nd and 3rd quarters on the phone with the President and key boosters to align them on the coaching change that is required. This shitshow needs to end.This performance and the last 2 weeks were far below any UM performance standard. Coaching malpractice.

Our punter is by far our best player.

LOL - Wisconsin has >100 yards rushing by RECEIVERS! What the absolute fuck?

I feel the worst for our MGowriters that have to narrate the events of the attempted mooring of the Hindenburg that occurred tonight.

The friggin Northwestern teams of the 80s would kick the shit out of this team

Fire Harbaugh. Fuck this dude. And fuck anyone who is ok with him staying here another game.

WI has enough time to score over 50 on us! Resign Harbaugh, you fucking bastard!

If we truly had home field advantage (with fans) ... it would only be like 45-11!

The next person that says “Ya, but who are we gonna get that’ll be an upgrade” should be sent to Bolivia!

5 star freshman tackled by the kicker. Future looking bright

Fuck this fucking shit. I don’t fucking care. This fucking team is so fucking embarrassing. I’m so sick of this fucking shit.

I’m sorry but this program has fallen into the abyss so suddenly....this is the death of program. That is what we are seeing. I’m sorry but there is no way Sam Webb, Brice Marich or ANY OTHER sunshine blower can suggest otherwise. Ya think Domani Jackson wants to come here after this? Ya think Xavier Worthy or JJ McCarthy is sticking around? Jennings? Anyone? Spoiler alert ...NO! Program is facing 20+ years of misery and ya know what 20 yes might as well be 50.

Any time Michigan beat a piss-poor Group of 5 team or a sorry-ass B1G team, there were people who got on here and said, “Seeeeeeee, this is why we shouldn’t fire Don Brown. Lol at everyone who said he should be after Michigan got embarrassed by Ohio State/Penn State/Wisconsin/bowl game opponent.” Where are those assholes now?

I swear to God, this is the biggest bunch of fucking candy ass pussy defenders I’ve ever seen at Michigan. I’ve been watching 40 years of football. They don’t have the heart, discipline, talent, or balls to even be remotely competitive anymore. They quit.

Watching this defense this season gave me cancer

Its time for Harbaugh to step down! He’s no Elvis, he’s no #+@+#+#@+#+@ jesus.

I hope this team never takes the field this season....what’s the point showing up and playing like a bunch of 5 yr old girls?! Seriously what is the point?!

Get your damn hands off your damn knees, Harbaugh.

Found something in the back of the liquor cabinet called Old Jethro. I can already feel my retinas burning. Thank God, Michigan is actually starting to look good to me. Blindness isn’t so bad......

I am at lost and trying to figure out this poor performance. Seeing how poor Michigan has been playing, do you think the coaches really thought there would be no football this season and nothing was done to prepare during offseason?

Everything in this season is inexplicable. Late start, no fans, postponements, cancellations, threat of illness, all have affected the mindset of players and coaches alike. LSU, Penn State, Michigan, Tennessee, just can’t put it together. Even Oklahoma and Georgia have had shocking losses. Yet, in the same season, Northwestern and Indiana are undefeated. It’s 20fk’n20! Can’t explain it.

******We interrupt this meltdown for a disclaimer from the RBR editorial desk: Everyone worth a damn left LSU after the season, Tennessee has sucked for years and neither of Georgia’s losses were shocking. We now return to the meltdown, still in progress.******

Why can I not stop watching? How could I have believed in Harbaugh so much? So many questions, so few answers.

Wisconsin drives the ball down the field after a bonehead running into the punter. They only the same 3 plays over and over and our coaches are to stupid to stop it. Then when we are in position to stop the end around we can’t tackle the fucker and he scores.

I might try the bleach stuff. It’s already in the house.

Rich Rod got fired for 7-6. Fuck you to whoever says we should keep Harbaugh after this, you’re a god damn moron.

Shouldn’t be on TV the rest of the season

Kirk Herbstreit - “lack of effort by Michigan there, several missed tackles. Even with the running back slipping behind the line of scrimmage, he still made it in the endzone. Look at all those Michigan jerseys around the 4 yard line!”

Thanks Kirk, Im finally aware that we can’t perform basic blocking and tackling.

Thanks coach Harbaugh. Your team sucks poorly coached. No discipline and a fucking embarrassment to the university. Resign during your press conference after the game. Bo is turning over in his grave watching your shitty coaching.

Michigan under Jim Harbaugh is legitimately the stupidest power 5 program in existence. We should’ve known back in 2015 against MSU with the whole “WOAH HE HAS TROUBLE WITH THE SNAP” thing, Harbaugh had gunners lined up when MSU didn’t even have a guy back to revives the punt. That was the first red flag.

He is probably the stupidest, most bone-headed power 5 coach I have ever seen.

We’re like the dog that keeps falling for that fake throw the ball and hide it behind your back trick.

How hard does Herbstreit cream his pants getting to talk shit about Michigan every night on national television?

LOL?! Fucking again?!!!!!! Again?!!!! The same jet sweep? Same.God.Damn. Fucking. Play. I swear to Christ this HAS to be the shittiest team in the history of the program - what the fuck do these guys do all week?!

We could have had the ball down 35-11 and see what McNamara could do a 2nd series. But nooo. We run into the fucking punter. Not that we were going to win. But god damn this team is so stupid

I guess I will watch this entire nightmare-not sure why.

Honestly, Harbaugh’s mask looks like a boner. It’s ridiculous. Why the fuck can’t he wear that thing right?

Pretty sure he has a microphone under the mask (so he can call a run up the middle).

At thin point I’m kind of shocked Harbaugh didn’t bench Andrew Luck in favor of some walk on he was convinced was the next big thing.

Hey man, they use that guy to block AND catch, how are we supposed to stop him?? He’s like a fucking superhero

If I were Dax, I’d be looking at transferring to Alabama. I’m sure he regrets not sticking with them

****** We at RBR fully endorse this last comment. Roll Tide.*****