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And the Winner of the Cowardly LSU Tigers Haiku Contest is...

Meet the winners of our haiku contest

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LSU v Arkansas
Look at this coward
Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

Two weeks ago, in conjunction with FOCO, we offered you the chance to enter our haiku contest, poking fun of the exceptionally cowardly LSU Tigers.

At stakes? This awesome bobblehead of TUA RIDING A MF’IN DOLPHIN

Today, we unveil our winners. And, because I’m such a G, I’m going to pick a runner-up or two and give them a prize as well. Those will be discretionary, but the winner was selected by you, the Roll ‘Bama Roll readers — a readership noted for its virility, sagacity, deeply abiding inner strength, and great sense of humor.


No Burrow, Brady,
Aranda. Just Pellini?
Damn! Get the ‘rona!


This one wins for absolute truthiness. LSU sucks out loud for a reason, and Ed O is ducking everyone he can. Hell, he needed two weeks and another SEC officiating screwjob to beat Arkansas. So, yes, this was the thought process, spelled out or otherwise, and you and I know it (or at least represents such thoughts as that swamp rat-eating sum’bitch is capable of).

Oh Tiger Tiger,
burning bright, scoring on you
’tis really no fight


This homage to William Blake by timbucs2 tickles the Poetry minor in me. Sorry, but such erudition must be rewarded.


Lesson from “War Games”:
The only winning move is
Not to play the game.


The abiding majority of our readers are Gen X and Millennials. This film is probably a little too old for the latter camp, but as it is a nerd classic plainly enough of you got the reference. Outstanding effort and a worth winner.

Anyway, the whole thread was awesome. I applaud you all and thank you for playing. If you want to check out those haiku, they are here. And, hey, it’s not too late to buy your own sweet Tua bobblehead! Thanks again to FOCO for the swag.

Winners: You will receive an email from me tonight. I need a mailing address to send your valuable prizes!