Random Thoughts: A Perfect Ten

[With it being the week of the Early Signing Period and the SEC Championship Game, we are pushing Random Thoughts up a day. We hope we haven’t ruined your Tuesday. Thanks!]

Alabama has made history as the first and perhaps last team to ever win ten conference games in a regular season. Due to the special circumstances of the season, the SEC created a ten game conference only schedule over the regular eight SEC and four non-conference slate.

With the ACC chickening out and cancelling the final game of the season for Notre Dame, that leaves the Crimson Tide as the only team ever with a perfect 10-0 conference schedule, a feat we may never see ever again.

SEC

In a strange season that keeps getting stranger, all of the road SEC teams won this week.

Alabama 52 Arkansas 3 - This is one remarkable Alabama team. Early on with Mac Jones overthrowing receivers and Najee Harris falling down at the line of scrimmage, this one could have gone sideways real fast. Instead, DeVonta Smith returned a punt 84 yards for a touchdown that provided a wake-up spark for the Crimson Tide. But really, it was the relentless smothering defense that made this big win happen. The Tide forced four turnovers, sacked Arky QBs eight times, and held them to a scant 188 yards of offense. This defense is really coming together at the right time.

Georgia 49 Missouri 14 - This game had all the ingredients of an upset. An early start on the road in cold weather with UGA potentially full of a whole lotta DGAF. Instead, the Dwags started strong, getting an interception on the second play of the game that was later converted into a touchdown. Mizzou scored just before the half to make it 14-14 but the Bulldogs struck right back with a 6-play/75 yards drive in 43 seconds, taking a 21-14 lead into the locker room. Georgia built on that momentum, scoring touchdowns on their first four possessions of the second half. Mizzou on the other hand was shutout and had three first downs the rest of the way.

Tennessee 42 Vanderbilt 17 - Realizing that the future is now, Jeremy Pruitt started freshman Harrison Bailey at quarterback and was rewarded with a solid performance (14/18, 207 yds, 2 TD, 0 INT). The Vols held Vandy to 53 rushing yards for a minuscule average of 1.7 YPC.

LSU 37 Florida 34 - LSU kicked a 57-yard game-winning field goal through a thick soupy fog with 23 seconds left to upset Florida and end their playoff hopes. The score was set-up by a stupid penalty on a Gator DB. With the game knotted at 34-all, the UF defense stopped the Tigers on third down, when an LSU WR’s shoe came off. Redshirt junior Marco Wilson thought it prudent to throw the shoe 20 yards down the field. The move was flagged and kept the drive alive, leading to the game winning points.

The fact that Dan Mullen scratched his all-star tight end Kyle Pitts at kickoff was a clear indication of where his head was at. He and his Gators were overconfident that they would push the Tigers aside and head into Atlanta with hopes of trophies and rings. Asked later about Pitts’s absence, Coach Excuse Maker said that his tight end had not practiced all week. To which everyone within earshot should have replied “SO WHAT?” That guy doesn’t need practice to make that team better. At the very least, use him as a decoy.

This game shows why you play ALL the games - ACC and B1G I’m looking your way. Despite LSU being down cornerbacks Derek Stingley (leg injury) and Cordale Flott (first quarter for targeting ejection), the Tigers defense gave UF quarterback Kyle Trask fits. He finished with over 400 yards but struggled with out his BFF tight end in the red zone. Trask threw two picks (one returned for a score) and lost a fumble deep in his own end of the field.

Auburn 24 Mississippi State 10 - This was one ugly-ass game. After three quarters, the score was 9-3 Tigers until the ClangaClang defense finally broke down. Bo Nix struggled again on the road, finishing 15 of 32 for 125 passing yards and one TD. The Bullies had 19 rushing yards on 16 attempts. Good luck signing a running back, Leach!

Ole Miss at Texas A&M - Aggies got lucky. This could’ve been BIG trouble. Especially since OM was the road team!

NOT REALLY CHAOS

Utah 38 Colorado 21 - You knew the Buffys wouldn’t go undefeated, right?

Start the above video at 8:34

Southern Cal 43 UCLA 38 - With the Trojans being the last undefeated PAC team, something suspicious happened Saturday night. The Bruins were up by two late when SoSo Cal completed a long pass for an obvious reception to the UCLA 8 yard line with seconds to go. With no timeouts remaining, the Trojans had to rush down the field to get everyone set and spike it or run a play. INSTEAD, the review booth decided they needed to take another look at the catch. Even though it was clearly a completed pass. @How fortuitous!@ This gave Southern Cal a free timeout to talk about a play and get all the right personnel lined up. Guess what happened next? The conspiracy theorist in me tells me that Larry Scott had something to do with this stoppage of time.

OTHER GUYS

North Carolina 62 Miami 26 - Remember that time D’Eriq King was gonna win the Hypesman? The Heels utterly spanked the ‘Canes with an onslaught of 778 yards of offense and 31 first downs. Miami managed 314 yards and 15 first downs. UNC only passed the ball 20 times. The other 55 plays were on the ground accounting for 554 yards and six scores.

CRAZIEST FINISH OF THE WEEK

The old saying goes “play to the whistle”. Unfortunately for WMU, one of the laterals was deemed a forward pass. It looks like it was the cross-field pass from the #24 at the nearside 32 yard line (8th lateral). Both teams were flagged for off-setting unsportsmanlike conduct for running on the field. Ball State was declared the winner.

UGLIEST UNIFORMS

Miami dressed like FAMU and played like them too.

GOOFIEST COOLEST LOOKING UNIS

Okay, Sparty has redeemed themselves. These unis look pretty sharp and you gotta love the throwback “Gruff Sparty” logo. It’s too bad they got rocked by Penn State.

KEY & PEELE ALL-STARS

Following up on last week’s K&P, Auburn also has Zykeivous Walker, Ja’Varrius Johnson, Ladarius Tennison, and Brodarious Hamm on the roster.

LITTLE DUDE OF THE WEEK

Pitt RB Vincent Davis had 247 rushing yards against Georgia Tech. His previous game high was 67 yards against the very same Yeller Jackets a year ago. He is listed at 5’ 8”, 175 lbs, but when he sneezes, he hits his head on the floor.

DICK MOVE OF THE WEEK

Georgia Tech coach Geoff Collins snubbed his Pitt counterpart Pat Narduzzi at the end of the game, leaving everyone perplexed. Perhaps, he was upset that the Panthers went for two up 32-20 with 2 minutes to go to make it 34-20, but that is just smart football. Afterwards, Collins babbled some weak BS excuse about wanting to get to the band or something. The Yeller Jackets punked out on their game with Miami this weekend.

DIRTY PLAYS OF THE WEEK

The NCAA may need to look into this epidemic of gator rolls as a reviewable penalty.

STATS OF THE DAY

• Arizona State’s Jackson He became what is believed to be the first Chinese-born player to score a touchdown in the FBS. This play triggered a clause in Kevin Sumlin’s contract that led to his dismissal. It’s the standard “If-A-Chinese-Guy-Scores-On-You-You’re-Fired” clause.
• North Carolina’s Michael Carter (308) and Javonte Williams (236) set an NCAA record with 544 yards rushing.
• Mississippi State is dead last in rushing offense averaging 23.2 yard per game - that is 44 yards per game less than the next closest team, UMass. The Bullies have a TOTAL of 209 rushing yards on the season for a paltry average of 1.4 ypc.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

Alabama fan and former CFP Committee member Condoleezza Rice was the guest picker on GameDay. She’s still single, fellas!

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• Coastal Carolina (11-0) - The Chanticleers beat Troy but struggled mightily. CCU scored a touchdown with 35 seconds remaining for a 42-38 win. They may have screwed themselves out of a NY6 bowl. Next, they host Laffy in the Sun Belt Championship Game. Winner gets our hearts.
• LaLaLaffy! (9-1) - The Rajuns had the luxury of a week off to rest up for the Sun Belt Championship Game Dec 19.

COUSINS

• Troy (5-6) - The Trojans almost recorded the upset bid on Coastal Carolina. They now face winless La-Monroe and a shot at 6 wins.
• South Alabama (4-7) - Indiana DC Kane Wommack has been hired as the new head coach of USA. The 33-year old played for Arkansas and has served as an assistant at Jax State and Ole Miss among other stops. He was DC for the Jags in Joey Jones’s last two seasons (2016-2017) and likely knows some of the current players. The Hoosiers are currently third in the nation in turnover margin at +10 and tops in interceptions with 17 in only seven games.

THAT ANNOYING STEP-BROTHER WHO WEARS PAJAMA PANTS AND CROCS TO WALMART

UAB (5-3) - HOLY MOLEY! The Dragons finally played a game! Having been on the sidelines since Halloween, Bham U finally decided to play and beat Rice 21-16 in what had to have been an awful game. Next is at Marshall on Friday.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

The Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy will be decided this week. Air Force has already defeated Navy.

It was an old-fashioned slugfest in a thick fog with Army coming out on top 15-0. The score sat at 3-0 after three quarters that featured an Army goal line stand. A Navy fumble at the 13 led to the game’s only touchdown. A safety and a field goal rounded out the scoring. Navy had only four first downs and converted only one of 11 third downs. Army was not too much better with eight first downs and 4-for-14 conversions. The two military academies combined for 279 total yards.

• Army (8-2) - The Black Knights meet Air Force for the coveted CICT.
• Navy (3-7) - The Midshipmen season is done unless they want to reschedule USF.
• Air Force (3-2) - The Falcons have not played since Dec 3. They either win big or lose big. Who knows what will happen against Army?

ELIMINATED

• Rutgers, Northwestern, Maryland, Purdue, Indy, Nebraska, Illinois, Sparty, Minnesota, Michigan, Penn State, Iowa, Wisky.
• Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, Texas Tech, TCU, Baylor, WVU, Oklahoma Lite, Oklahoma, Texas
• Duke, Wake Forest, Syracuse, FSU, Georgia Tech, NC State, L’ville, Pitt, UVa, BC, Va Tech, UNC, Miami
• BYU
• The entire PAC
• Vandy, Arky, Missouri, UK, SC, MSU, LSU, Tennessee, Ole Miss, Auburn, UGA, Florida

ELIMINATION, ENDANGERED:

• Clemson, Notre Dame - just don’t lose by 35.
• Texas A&M
• Ohio State - ya can’t win if ya don’t play!

IMA LEAVE THIS UP HERE FROM LAST WEEK! ^^^

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

• ACC - I’d bet Swofford would cancel the ACCCG if he could.
• SEC - TAMU could just sneak in. Although two playoff rematches would not be ideal.
• Big Ten - anOSU doesn’t deserve it. Exhibit A: Florida.
• Big 12
• PAC-12 - Some silly left-coasters think Southern Cal (5-0) deserves a look.
• Indies - Cincy hoping against hope.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The fourth CFP rankings will be revealed Tuesday night at 6pm CT / 7pm ET on ESPN. The final reveal is Sunday night.

Week 3 College Football Playoff Rankings

1. Alabama
2. Notre Dame
3. Clemson
4. Ohio State
5. Texas A&M
6. Florida

LET’S GO BOWLING

• SMU was one of the first teams to accept a bowl bid. They will be playing a team TBD in the season’s first bowl game, the Frisco Bowl, on Dec. 19.
• Pitt and BC elected not to play in a bowl. You can tell it’s wintertime with all the snowflakes falling up north.

SEC BOWLING

Currently there are 32 bowls that are planning to go forward with their games. This of course means they will need 64 participating teams. While there has been mention of teams with losing records making bowls, no real details have been released.

Possible SEC-participant bowls:

Dec 26 Gasparilla: ACC/SEC vs pool Tampa, FL
Dec 30 Cotton: at-large vs at-large Arlington, TX
Dec 30 Music City: Big Ten vs SEC Nashville, TN
Dec 31 Armed Forces: Pac-12 vs SEC Fort Worth, TX
Dec 31 Liberty: Big 12 vs SEC Memphis, TN
Dec 31 Texas: Big 12 vs SEC Houston, TX
Jan 1 Citrus: Big Ten/ACC vs SEC Orlando, FL
Jan 1 Sugar: CFP Semifinal New Orleans, LA
Jan 1 Peach: at-large vs at-large Atlanta, GA
Jan 1 Birmingham: pool vs ACC/SEC Birmingham, AL
Jan 2 Orange: ACC vs SEC/Big Ten Miami, FL
Jan 2 Gator: ACC vs SEC Jacksonville, FL
Jan 2 Outback: Big Ten vs SEC Tampa, FL

There is still another week of games for SEC teams.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to the Auburn-MSU SEC officiating crew for not only overturning targeting on Auburn DB Ladarius Tennison’s (KEY & PEELE) hit on Jo’quavious Marks (KEY & PEELE) on video review but also not even calling unnecessary roughness on the field.

HEISMAN HYPE

With the exception of TWO YEARS, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the slobbering press and other voters will callously crush on.

1. DeVonta Smith (WR, Alabama, Sr.) - In a year devoid of “Heisman moments”, Smith’s punt return certainly was one. His catch against LSU was another. It is the right time of year to catch the eyes of voters since nobody wins the Heisman pre-November. While a non-QB or non-RB winning the trophy is a rarity, it might be totally on-brand for this weird wacky season. The last two of that category to win (Charles Woodson and Desmond Howard) did so because of their big kick returns. Somewhere out there is a Gump who laid down $100 on longshot DeVonta to win the Heisman back in September. Drinks are on him.
2. Mac Jones (QB, Bama, R-Jr.) - The Tide quarterback got off to a slow start but had a solid if not spectacular game in a blow-out win (24-29, 208 yds, 0 TD, 0 INT, 0 sacks). It might still come down to what happens in the SECCG but his competition is not who we thought it would be.
3. Kyle Trask (QB, Jorts U., Sr.) - Not good (29-47, 474 yds, 2 TD, 2 INT, Pick-6, lost fumble, 4 sacks, home upset on Senior Day).
4. Trevor Lawrence (QB, Dabo Cult, Jr.) - Will need to so something super-spectacular to get back in this chase.
5. Justin Fields (QB, anOSU, Jr.) - See #4 above and multiply by ten.
6. A token running back - Najee Harris is still the top running back. He had some trouble getting going, collecting only 46 yards on 14 carries (3.3 ypc). However, he still managed to tally multiple rushing scores (two) for the seventh time this season.
7. Ian Book (QB, Notre Dame, Sr.) DNP
8. Kyle Pitts (TE, Fla, Jr.) DNP

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

Honestly, DeVonta Smith has been the most outstanding player of the season. He has snatched more souls than Satan at a Hillary Clinton-Harvey Weinstein cocktail mixer.

** The voting deadline for the Heisman Trophy will be Monday, Dec. 21 with finalists announced on Christmas Eve. The Trophy will be presented on Jan. 5, 2021 **

THE SICK REPORT

• Alabama linebacker Christian Harris suffered a shoulder injury on the first play against Arkansas. Fortunately for the Tide, Jaylen Moody ably filled in and did a fine job. Nick Saban says Harris “has a chance to play this week depending on how he progresses”.
• I would bet dollars to donuts that Florida tight end Kyle Pitts suits up Saturday night.

DRAMA

• Former Alabama DL Ishmael Sopsher is heading for Southern Cal. I will resist the urge to say anything about him being a bust.
• Maryland QB Taulia Tagovailoa was out against Rutgers for “medical reasons”. This move came on the heels of a 3-interception game for Lia in which the Terps lost 27-11 to Indiana. Without him, Maryland fell to Rutgers 27-24 at home to land at 2-3.
• More than four years after firing football coach Art Briles and disciplining other administrators for their roles in a sexual assault scandal, Baylor officials are scheduled to appear before the NCAA Committee on Infractions. They should get around to LSU by 2030 or so.

QUITTERS

• Preseason first team All-SEC kicker Brent Cimaglia quit Tennessee last week. The senior has had a poor season connecting on only 5 of 9 attempts after a 23 of 27 junior campaign. Maybe it was for the best.
• Once thought to be a Heisman contender, Okie Lite RB Chubba “Wubba” Hubbard decided to quit just hours before his teammates would suit up for their final regular season game. They beat Baylor 42-3 without him.
• Wake Forest RB Kenneth Walker, who is the team’s No. 2 rusher this season with 579 yards and 13 TDs, quit on his Demon Deacons teammates. No injuries, he just quit.
• Puttin’ my Gump hat on for a moment, I don’t know if I want LSU tight end Arik Gilbert on Alabama. Is he talented? Yes, but he has some maturity issues that go back to his recruiting days.

KOACHES KORNER

• In a bit of a surprise move, Auburn fired Gustavo Malzahn after eight seasons of mediocrity. He was 67-35 overall, 38-26 in the SEC, and 2-5 in bowl games. According to USA Today, Malzahn is owed $21 million with half due in the next 30 days. Defensive coordinator Kevin Steele will land on a cushy $5 million payday. $1.4 million will be waiting on offensive coordinator Chad Morris when he gets home. Steele will take the wheel in west Georgia as interim coach through the rest of the season.

• Seriously, why do recruits fall in love with this guy? He is constantly throwing his players under the bus. The statement above (translated through a team of top UN translators) basically says “we cain’t win wit da bwahs we gots or da croots comin in. So we gwana hafta steal some bwahs from utter skools.”
• Utah State hired Arkansas State coach Blake Anderson. The move seems like a lateral move for the Arkansas native. The only explanation has to be money. Yet both he and his USU predecessor made $900K last season. You may recall he recently lost his wife to cancer. Maybe he needs a change of scenery?
• Alabama analyst Butch Jones put his time in Fayetteville to good use, lassoing up the Arky Lite job. There are rumors that he may take fellow Tide analysts Major Applewhite along as his OC. Taking an Alabama analyst is fine (except Charlie Strong) but Butchie better keep his eyeballs off the full-timers.
• Kevin Sumlin has been fired from the Arizona Wildcats after the 70-7 butchering by Arizona State. His buyout is $7.5 million but would have been $5 million had the school had waited until January.
• Lovie Smith and his big hobo beard are out at Illinois after five seasons. He was 17–39 overall and 10–33 in the B1G.

• True story, no joke: Kirby Smart has opened a barber shop in the football facility - and they made a little teaser video about it. In the clip, some people and Kirby are sitting around wondering “who we gonna get to be barber?” It ends with Scott Cochran (whose completely bald, btw) picking up the phone saying “I got the perfect guy.” It is so stupid that I am not even going to link it. And besides, if it is a Kirby barber shop, how hard is it to find someone who can cut around a bowl?
• As is his annual Christmas tradition, Urban Meyer bought up all the Baby Yoda dolls available and took them down to the local orphanage where he ripped them to shreds and then burned them.
• Last week, Space X launched a historic mission to the moon but landed on Fat F*** Phil Fulmer by mistake. There were no survivors. Because FFPF ate them. R.I.P.

TEEVEE

Once Alabama built a big lead on Arkansas and started to substituting in reserves, announcers Bob Wischusen and Dan Orlovsky got bored and figured what viewers were still left watching would be more interested in hearing them debate Trask vs Mac and bad-mouth the Bama quarterback for the rest of the game. Now aren’t you glad ESPN has exclusive rights to SEC football?

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big Florida State-Wake Forest showdown, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, December 17

UL Monroe at Troy 6pm/7pm ESPN3

Friday, December 18

MACCG: Ball State vs Buffalo (Detroit) 6:30/7:30 ESPN - Points will be scored.
PACCG: Washington Oregon at Southern Cal 7pm/8pm FOX - The Huskies have tapped out, replaced by the Ducks.

Saturday, December 12

SEC

Texas A&M at Tennessee 11am/noon ESPN
Vanderbilt at Georgia 11am/noon SECN
Missouri at Mississippi State 2:30/3:30 SECN Alt
Ole Miss at LSU 2:30/3:30 SEC - Time for LSU to get back to losing.
SECCG: Alabama vs Florida (Atlanta) 7pm/8pm CBS

DURING COMMERCIALS

B1GCG: Northwestern vs Ohio State (Indianapolis) 11am/noon FOX - GO CATS!
B12CG: Oklahoma at Iowa State (JerryWorld) 11am/noon ABC
CICT: Air Force at Army 2pm/3pm CBSSN
SUNCG: Louisiana-Lafayette at Coastal Carolina 2:30/3:30 ESPN
ACCCG: Clemson vs Notre Dame (Charlotte) 3pm/4pm ABC
AACCG: Tulsa at Cincinnati 7pm/8pm ABC

SABAN vs. POP and BEAR

Saban stands alone in fifth place. Mack Brown still trails but by a wider margin than when the season began.

[For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins in Division I-A, aka FBS. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.]

This may be the best thing the UA marketing department has ever done. Too bad they don’t put this much effort into promoting players for other awards.

#ALABAMA

• This Alabama team is one you will tell your grandkids about. The Crimson Tide completed a remarkable first-ever 10-0 SEC season while averaging nearly 50 PPG and won every game by at least 15 points. Bama leads the SEC in both scoring offense and scoring defense.
• Here are some prop bets I am sure few bet on: Tight end Miller Forristall led all Alabama receivers, finishing with six catches for 52 yards. Jase McClellan was the leading rusher with 95 yards on 6 carries. Mac Jones did not throw a touchdown pass and DeVonta Smith did not receive one. Jaylen Moody was the leading tackler with seven tackles - four solo, three assists.
• For whatever reason prior to 2002, bowl game statistics were not included in players’ career totals. Lucky you, I did the research on Shaun Alexander. The Crimson Tide legend “officially” has 50 Alabama career touchdowns. However, he scored one in the 1997 Outback Bowl and three in the 2000 Orange Bowl. So let’s put it right, at 54. Najee Harris now has 49 and Smith has 41. The others are Mark Ingram 46, Derrick Henry 45, and Trent Richardson 43.
• Smith is a mere 27 receiving yards behind Amari Cooper for the Alabama school record and 323 behind Vandy’s Jordan Matthews for SEC career receiving yards.
• Harris is six ground scores behind Derrick Henry’s SEC record 28 for a single season.
• Mac Jones is 645 yards behind Tua Tagovailoa’s Alabama single-season passing yards record.

Watch Najee in the upper left corner ❤❤❤

SECCG: Saturday, December 19, 2020

Alabama Crimson Tide (10-0) vs Florida Gators (8-2)

Bryant-Denny East, Atlanta, GA ~ 7pm CT / 8pm ET CBS

• Announcers: One last time this season with Gary and the gang.
• Eli Gold on Alabama Radio. Yes, he should be back.
• Alabama is 26-14 all-time against the Gators. The Crimson Tide have won the last six meetings including the game that made Tebow cry and made Urban almost die.
• The line on this game is around Bama -17½. Over/Under is 72½.