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RBR Haiku Contest: And the winners are...

2020: The End is Nigh Edition.

Portrait of Geoffrey Chaucer

As promised, we have the winners of this year’s offseason Haiku contest, themed “The End is Nigh.”

The top three all get a prize from our mighty Gump box (actually, I’m waiting on them to arrive. But when I get them, I’ll ship ‘em off to you.).

Without further ado here are our three winners:

Contest Winners

I am bored to death
I miss sports, even baseball
Guess I’ll wank again


I must hoard TP!
Hand-sani spill Aisle 4
Tore my ACL


Third of Europe dies.
London burns down. Chaucer writes
Canterbury Tales.



In fairness, the most upvoted submission belonged to Josh. But, he did not want the boobie prizes (which is why you get three of them this year.) Here was our real winner.

Man in China asked
“Who here wants to go viral?”
The bat said, “Bite me.”

Josh Chatham

Honorable Mentions:

We have to give some love to these; they did not win, but you may have missed some doozies.

Here we go again
Another Wuhan Flu thread
This time we all die

Alex Smart

You think COVID kills?
Wait until the next jasands
Then you’ll see WASTED


Wore a mask daily
Washed my hands twice per hour
Fell down a manhole


Thanks everyone for playing.

When the prizes arrive, I’ll email you folks to get a mailing address. And, if you missed the original thread, it’s here.