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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Texas is back edition: the Brockermeyer twins pick Bama

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A special edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

NCAA Football: Louisiana State at Texas Scott Wachter-USA TODAY Sports

As you well know by now, twins Tommy and James Brockermeyer, both Texas legacies whose brother Luke plays for the ‘Horns, spurned the home state flagship and committed to Alabama. As you also know, Texas is the all-time meltdown champion, so I moseyed over to SurlyHorns.com and checked out what they were saying.

As always, especially when the ‘Horns are involved, the language in this post is horrid. If you are offended even remotely easily, please point your browser elsewhere. You have been warned.

The rest of you, enjoy.

FUCK THOSE CUNTS. I won’t wish them harm but I aint gonna cry if they blow out a knee or two. FUCKING ASSHOLES.

Average coach, below average recruiter, above average at social media.

There is no responding from these misses. You’re done here, it just needs to be finalized with the rest of this mediocre staff.

Herman really schruted this one

This is some bullshit right here - joining the group chat so they could recruit for Alabama? That whole family can fuck right the hell off.

They can join Walker Little on some fault line in California. I understand that coach “Middle Fingers” is an ass but where is the loyalty?

That reminds me, Kristy can get fucked too. She could have influenced her kids but instead she’s letting them go play football an 8 hour drive away or a fucking plane trip and a 90 minute drive away. For a shittier fucking education. She and her husband both can be named persona non grata in Austin until the end of time and then set on fire as far as I’m concerned.

I’m very comfortable with them never starting, having some guys who didn’t shit all over our recruiting starting over them, picking up Sports Management degrees from Bama (or Tech or some shit if they transfer for playing time), and disappearing into the ether.

So they didn’t want to come to Texas because Herman is an asshole, but they are going to go play for Saban?

As I understand it, unlike Clemson and Texas, Bama started out with the the “omg James you’re so great also” sell while happily recruiting some better interior guys at the same time. Apparently McKnight and the Clemson S&C guy both had some very honest criticism and Blake got real pissy about it.

The Brockermeyers were sucking off Clemson before their S&C guy hurt their widdle feelings. Go look up all the OL draft picks Clemson has sent to the NFL the last decade. Go ahead I’ll wait. And now tell me how wonderful the ACC is versus the Big 12 that theyre shitting all over. They’re parents didn’t push them to Texas, and I won’t speculate what Luke told them, but at the end of the day the parents didn’t stick up for Texas, and then their kids became poisoned.

Why Saban isn’t considering retiring this year is beyond me specially with the Rona running rampant. 68 yo with probably some comorbidities ups the risk significantly imo

There simply aren’t enough different ways for me to express how badly the Brockermeyers can get violently fucked by magically animated chainsaws or slashed with thorns and the open wounds doused in blended up ghost peppers until they have cardiac arrest. And I like to think I’m pretty creative in imagining new ways for people to get fucked. Fuck them.

Should’ve fired Herman last year

My poor liver is going to take a beating over the next 4-5 days. Jesus.

Meh like I said earlier about the brocks and any Texas kid that leaves. Fuck em with a reverse pineapple. And if you’re a legacy fuck you twice. This is why I like the staff going out of state. If in state douchebags wanna bounce cool again pineapples and shit. This is peak 2020 anyway

what a kick in the dick, although expected. at least we get to move on from these fucc bois.

Welp, see y’all in the funny papers.

I could give a fuck about a Brockermeyer. Especially after the shit they pulled. They already rock the Bama hair. They belong there.

Longhorn legacies spurning their legacy program and state for a hot at the moment program will always get a fuck you from me. Fuck them!!! Moving on

Meh. Fuck ‘em. And fuck their pre-madonna dad. You’ve pissed away three generations of tradition and goodwill at your alma mater. Hope it was worth it ya miserable fuck.

Edit: Also, why does it look like they’re wearing blush in their edits? Fucking weaksauce.

Poor ‘Horns. One of these years, y’all will be back.

Maybe.

Roll Tide.