Unhappy Meals: Vols handed recruits cash shoved into McDonald’s bags

[Some NSFW reporting follows, if you hate naughty words. They’re not gratuitous on my part, just verbatim transcripts]

It went on to detail a system that this person described as “cartoonishly stupid,” and “made Hugh Freeze seem smart.” They concluded with “Sure it was dirty, but no dirtier than most. It’s recruiting, you know? It was more stupid than anything. and Tthe [sic] NCAA punishes stupid people far more than crooks. I can’t believe THAT idiot hired THIS idiot. We’re fucked.”

So, how “cartoonishly stupid” was it? And how f’d are the Vols?

You decide.

A literal bag man. Even worse, it wasn’t something classy like McAllister’s or PF Chang’s. Nope, Tennessee was dropping the going rate for OVs into an actual fast food bag.

(And, BTW, that OV standing amount has doubled since Kirby Smart began running the UGA program and violated the long-standing gentleman’s agreement on price-point. Allegedly. Perhaps this is what Patrick’s source alluded to as well.)

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I was told that over the next week or so, Tennessee sources would start leaking part of the allegations, so don’t tell anyone specifics just yet. The would do so as part of the Vols’ hardball litigation to poison the well — and, far more interestingly, as part of some court intrigue.

See, Fulmer may have initiated the investigation; it was an easy-out. But, it is alleged from my #sauce that someone within the football department saw their chance to get rid of an inconvenient coach that stood in their own way — someone that coveted Pruitt’s job, and that maybe played for Fulmer. He saw it as his best shot for a head coaching opportunity at the school he loves the most and the job he most wanted. So this backstabber narced to backstabber FFPF, and then they both double-shivved Pruitt in the back for being stupid and having no control over his staff. For good measure, they dangled the prospect of continued employment in his face provided he could snag Kevin Steele. Pruitt did so, then they all shanked him.

At this point, Pruitt’s spine has to look like a pin cushion. Julius Caesar thinks this many knife wounds are ridiculous. Squeaky Fromme called it “excessive.” Poor Jeremy was so out of his depth, that is is painful to read or hear about.

Still, I would not at all be surprised if the alleged Ambitious Backstabber above was Dan Patrick’s source here. Who cares; in any event, I’m glad someone spilled the beans to the national media. It was a long 12 hours sitting on this hilarious catastrophe.

And, as the Vols’ fast food of choice reminds us, “I’m loving it.”