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Random Thoughts: Blowout Saturday

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College football news: all the scores, injuries, gaffes, upsets, derps, and snark that you can handle.

Big Al is POPPING!
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Coming into the weekend, the slate of SEC games promised a slew of top ten hard-fought down-to-the-wire thrillers. However, those promises were just a bunch of empty lies who didn’t call the next day either.

Georgia and Alabama have pulled away and are starting to lap the pack.

The Bulldogs’ path to Atlanta goes through @Aub, UK, Fla, Miz, @Tenn, cupcake, @GaT. Their only difficult and potentially “hostile environment” game will be at Auburn. Florida is a neutral site game for WLOCP, and Georgia Tech will probably have more red in the stadium then gold.

Having already survived the Swamp, Alabama has trips to College Station, StarkVegas, and Auburn. They host UT, LSU, Arky and a cupcake.

In case you are wondering, Big Al already had the popcorn costume as a part of his wardrobe from basketball a few years ago. A UA staff member had to hustle over to Coleman Coliseum to retrieve it after Laney made his quip.

Alabama 42 Ole Miss 21 - The Crimson Tide dominated and stifled Lane Kiffin and Matt Corral holding the Rebels QB to a season low of 213 yards passing totalyards - much of which came after Bama had built a big lead. Alabama held Ole Miss to 291 total yards, the fewest of the Kiffin era by a margin of 151 yards. The Rebs also had a season low if 78 rushing yards. Bama’s Brian Robinson did his best Derrick Henry imitation gaining 171 yards on a monstrous 36 carries and recorded four touchdowns.

If this poor inbred dog could talk, do you think he’d say “please, just kill me.”

Georgia 37 Arkansas 0 - The Bulldogs put an end to the Razorbacks cute little feel good story. just as they have in the last three games, the Bulldogs pounced on their opponent early and often with long explosive plays. UGA (5-0) has outscored opponents 91 to six over the last four games. This time, as with the UAB game, it was with Stetson Bennett XII behind center and sickly JT Daniels on the sidelines. Bennett was only 7 of 11 for 72 yards, but the only thing UGA needed his arm for was handing the ball off. Georgia had four running backs with double digit carries. Zamir White had two ground scores and also recovered a blocked punt for a score. Razorbacks quarterback KJ Jefferson was clearly gimpy and looked like a maimed gazelle trying to outrun a pride of lions. Arky gained 102 yards before a 60 yard drive against the scrubs to end the game. Their offensive day went like this:

  • Punt, 3 plays, -14 yards
  • Punt blocked returned for a Touchdown, 3 plays, 1 yard
  • Missed FG, 12 plays, 55 yards
  • Punt, 3 plays, 0 yards
  • Punt, 3 plays, 7 yards
  • Punt 3 plays, -10 yards
  • Punt, 3 plays, 3 yards
  • Punt, 5 plays, 19 yards
  • Punt, 3 plays, -3 yards
  • 8 plays, 60 yards, end of game

This one was a hard lesson for Arkansas coach Sam Pittman who should have prepared a second quarterback. A hobbled QB, no matter how talented you may think he is, against this defense is a mistake. The wrong assumption here is that Arky is a godawful team. On the contrary, they are a good not great team and on the right path; just not on the level of the Dawgs. For Hogs fans, this is what they can expect for the next couple of years and that should be enough.

SIX-FEET UNDER ALREADY. DEAD AND BURIED AND GONE! GONE!

Despite coming into the weekend with one loss, there were a few teams who still had an outside shot at a playoff spot. Those hopes were dashed on Saturday with poor-effort losses.

Mississippi State 26 Texas A&M 22 - It tickles me to death that people are apologizing for the Aggies by saying QB Zach Calzada is “in there for injured Haynes King”, as if King was an All-American and TAMU woulda been 5-0 with him behind the center. Calzada and King were neck-and-neck for the starting spot through fall camp and they both sucked. King had two TDs and three interceptions against Kent State before going down in the first series against Colorado. But I digress... The point is Calzada is awful and Jimbo Fisher has no Plan C.

Clanga-clang’s Will Rogers had a bounce-back game throwing for 408 yards and three touchdowns and seems to be getting the hang of Mike Leach’s Air Raid football. However, this is still football and teams still need to be able to run the ball to be highly successful. The Bullies managed only 30 yards on the ground. Calzada could muster only 135 passing yards and 297 total yards for the Aggies. The only saving grace for the Aggs was Isaiah Spiller 100 yards on the ground on 16 carries. If I was Jimbo, I’d install Spiller and wasting-away Ainias Smith in some kind of Wildcat-option package.

I stole this pie chart from myself from last season with a quick adjustment. I find it is very apt.

Kentucky 20 Florida 13 - Much like Lane Kiffin last season, it appears Dan Mullen exerted a lot of off-season energy on defeating Alabama and forgot about the other 11 games on their schedule. Still stinging from the Bama loss two week ago, the Gators came out flat and lost in their first game outside of the Sunshine State. Despite outgaining the Wildcats 382 to a measly 224, UF committed fifteen penalties for 115 yards, punted five times, had a blocked field goal returned 76 yards for a touchdown, and had a late interception in their own end that was later converted into a UK touchdown.

In their final possession, the Gators had the ball 1st & goal at the UK nine yard line. A ‘Cats facemask penalty on third down gave Florida another first down, this time at the five. Emory Jones had eight plays to score and could not get his team any closer than the five yard line as they gave the ball over on downs with 18 ticks remaining.

Auburn 24 LSU 19 - It was Majicuh in Tiger Stadium on Saturday night - just not the kind of majick that the bayou folks thought would last forever. Flukey McFlukenberger was back as Bo Nix used up his allotment of JFF YOLO passes all in one game. Auburn made an improbable comeback on the Bayou Bengals with two fourth quarter touchdowns and defeated LSU in Death Valley for the first time since 1999, the year before Nick Saban arrived. LSU amassed all of 11 rushing yards. Aubie’s Tank Bigsby had 27 yards on nine attempts for a teensy li’l 3.0 ypc average.

OTHER SEC

South Carolina 23 Troy 14 - The Gamecocks continue to play down to the level of their competition. This one was a pretty tight race, and under Luke Doty, this SC offense is pretty pedestrian. The ‘Cocks had 102 yards rushing and have scored one rushing touchdown in five games this season. SC lost THREE fumbles and committed 10 penalties. They were saved by the defense taking away two fumbles and two interceptions including a pick six. They also blocked a Troy punt in the third quarter but only got a field goal out of it despite starting at the Trojans 23. It was indeed an ugly win much like their three point escape over ECU. Despite this, SC is on the cusp of bowl eligibility. At 3-2, they need three more Ws from their final seven games (@Tenn, Van, @TAMU, Fla, @Miz, Aub, Clem).

Tennessee 62 Missouri 24 - The roller coaster continues for UT. They’re up, they’re down, they’re up, they’re down. Against Mizzou, the Vols looked like gods. The thing is, the Tigers defensive front is - how can I put this delicately? - pure trash. Bishop Sycamore’s JV team could run for 400 rushing yards on these blocking dummies. Tennessee put up 458 rushing plus 225 through the air. The game was 28-3 after the first quarter. Now that UT is all cocky, we can expect a letdown vs South Carolina. They better hope not because that is followed by Ole Miss, Alabama, Kentucky, and UGA.

TECHNICALLY SEC

Vanderbilt 30 UConn 28 - Oops, he did it again. Alabama castoff kicker Joseph Bulovas kicked a 31-yard straight-on field goal as time expired in a pressure-packed situation in front of dozens of screaming fans against the mighty 0-6 Huskies. Announced paid attendance was 21,218.

SMOKE & MIRRORS

Michigan 38 Wisconsin 17 - Why does Wisky keep getting so much love? The Badgers tallied 167 passing yards and 43 rushing yards. A Wisky touchdown with 32 ticks remaining made it a smidge better than it was.

Quack, qwack, kwak... dead.

Penn State 24 Indiana 0 - Same with the Hoosiers. They were 8-5 TWO YEARS AGO without beating a ranked team and suddenly they are an elite? Indy had 69 rushing yards and gave up 209. Michael Penix was a dreadful 10-22 for 118 clicks with an INT. Take up ball catchin’ if you wanna make the NFL, bruh.

Ohio State 52 Rutgers 13 - C.J. Stroud finally has a good game (17-23, 330 YDS, 5 TD) and suddenly he is the next Justin Fields. TreVeyon Henderson only had 71 rushing yards but I am sure the Buckeyes writers are figuring out a way to spin that narrative.

Michigan State 48 Western Kentucky 31 - meh

OH, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

Adams College with the big win.

Stanford 31 Oregon 24 (OT) - The Trees once again ruined the Dux season. It looked like Nike U. would run away with it after scoring 17 straight to take a late 24-17. After an OU punt to the 13 yard line with 1:53 remaining, Stanford drove the field to the other goal line. On 4th & Goal at the four, a Cardinal pass fell to the ground as time expired. But a yellow flag came flying for PI and Stanford got one untimed down and connected for the tying points. In overtime, Stanford scored by the Quack Attack fell flat.

THIS AGAIN?

Remember a few years ago there was an epidemic of players dropping the ball before they crossed the goal line? Well, it’s back. South Carolina DB Jahmar Brown scooped up a fumble against Troy and appeared to run it in for a touchdown. However, he flipped the ball in the air just short of the goal line and the ball went back to the Trojans.

ONCE AN AUBIE, ALWAYS AN AUBIE

That is an adorable little quip by the former Auburn offensive lineman. However, this tidbit is the a stat equivalent of a moral victory. As Brent Taylor put it, “it’s hard to throw a pick when it’s a line drive in the dirt.” Nix is 86 of 147 this season for a completion percentage of 58.5. If you are new to football, that is a very poor number. He was one completion over .500 against LSU at 23 for 44. There are 86 starting QBs in FBS with a higher percentage.

B12 STRUGGLE

Oklahoma 37 Kansas State 31 - Another Saturday, another Okie struggle. Aided by the replay official overturning two second half calls, the Sooners escaped with their fifth win of the season. Spencer Rattatouille threw another pick.

OTHERS

Cincinnati 24 Notre Dame 13 - The Irish aren’t all that. They never should have been ranked #9.

Oklahoma State 24 Baylor 14 - a battle of unbeatens eliminates the Bears.

Clemson 19 Boston College 13 - See “STATS OF THE WEEK” below.

KID BROTHER GOT BEAT UP

Iowa 51 Maryland 14 - The Terps turned the ball over seven times including five interceptions thrown by Taulia Tagovailoa. Maryland ran 9 plays in the second quarter, committing four turnovers and five penalties. The Hawkeyes scored 31 unanswered points and the game was a romp.

BLACK (EYE) OUT

Three teams called for a “Black Out” this past weekend. It worked out about as well as it did for UGA in 2008. Mizzou, Maryland, and Utah State (vs BYU) lost by a collective score of 147-58.

NAME OF THE WEEK

Linebacker Jeremiah Trojan who of course plays for Southern Cal, right? Nope, UCLA.

COLLEGE KICKERS, AMIRITE?

FLUKIEST TD OF THE WEEK (NON-AUBIE CATEGORY)

A**HOLE OF THE WEEK

Colorado football coach Karl Dorrell smacked a photojournalist’s camera away after blowout loss to So Cal. His AD Rick George apologized for the behavior but nothing came from Dorrell until Monday evening - probably after a meeting with said AD and a lot of criticism.

STATS OF THE WEEK

  • Alabama’s 50 rushing attempts were the most by the Tide since 2017 when they had 53 in a win over Tennessee (mostly Damien Harris, Najee Harris, Josh Jacobs - all NFL starters).
  • Has your Sark postpartum separation anxieties subsided? Alabama is averaging 45.6 ppg placing them third in the nation in scoring offense behind Pitt and Coastal.
  • Clemson is averaging 21.2 ppg, good for 108th best in the nation. Among Power-5 teams, only Illinois, Wisconsin, Kansas, Arizona, Vanderbilt, and Colorado have lower averages. Not counting an FCS game in which they scored 49, the Dabo Pizza Cult have scored 3, 14, 21, and 19 for an average of 14.25 ppg vs FBS teams.
  • Arky was 3-12 on third down conversions. Oddly enough, UGA was only one better at 4-12. Of course the Dawgs were converting on first and second down at a higher rate.

COLLEGE GAMEDAY

On SEC Nation Saturday morning, Laura Rutledge called out Lane Kiffin for referring to his team as “li’l Ole Miss”. Not a good start to the day for the loose-lipped LFK.

tHat aiN’t SiX feEt!!1!

GameDay really isn’t the same without Tom Rinaldi and his tear-jerking stories. The best they could come up with was a story about Cincinnati quarterback Desmond Ridder. Being a dad. Wow. You really got me there, GameDay.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

Maryland (4-1) - Well. We picked a bad time to bring the Turtles into the fold. We may have to put them on probation. We have a few other teams that we may need to kick to the curb.

  • Arkansas State (1-4) - The Fightin’ Butch Joneses were trounced by troubled Georgia Southern 59-33. PROBATION
  • Tulane (1-4) - The Green Wave fell to E-frickin-CU 52-29. Ugh. PROBATION
  • UCLA (3-2) - The Bruins fell to Arizona State 42-23. ASU had scoring plays of 65, 54, and 49 yards. Ucla hopes to get back to winning against winless Arizona.
  • UT-Martin (3-1) - The Skyhawks had a week off to prep for Murray State for homecoming.

COUSINS

  • Troy (2-3) - The Trojans gave South Carolina a battle but fell 23-14. Georgia Southern comes to town.
  • South Alabama (3-1) - The Jags fell behind UL-Laffy 20-0 and scored the next 18 points but came up short on a failed two point conversion, 20-18. I have no personal connection to USA, but I have always had a soft spot for them since former Bama WR Joey Jones birthed the Jaguars into the world and helped them grow up real fast. After the mistake hire of Steve Campbell, USA got it right with the hiring of Kane Wommack, the architect of the outstanding Indiana defense of 2019. The Hoosiers have not been the same since he left last year. Keep an eye on this guy. @ Texas State this Saturday.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO TAKES UP TWO PARKING SPOTS

  • UAB (3-2) - The Dragons had their new stadium grand opening christening party ruined by Hugh Freeze. After a 6-6 tie at halftime, Liberty dominated the second half winning 36-12. Both of Birmingham U’s fans must have been devastated. FAU visits next.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: SEP 25 Navy at Houston Photo by Ken Murray/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Image courteous of special request. But this means you won’t be getting your #refund this week.

  • Army (4-1) - Ball State returned the opening kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown and led 21-0 after one frame, holding on for dear life for a 28-16 win. The Black Knights hope to rebound at flailing Wisky.

The LSU defense could learn a thing or two from Navy.

  • Navy (1-3) - The Midshipmen scored 17 unanswered fourth-quarter points to upset Center Florida’s Gus Bus 34-30.
  • Air Force (4-1) - The Falcons destroyed New Mexico 38-10. Next is a tough one with 4-0 Wyoming.

COMMANDER-IN-CHUMPS TROPHY SCHEDULE

This started as a joke, but I’m beginning to think USA could take this thing.

9/2/21 Tennessee 38 Bowling Green 6
9/11/21 South Alabama 22 Bowling Green 19
11/20/21 South Alabama at Tennessee - Championship!

boxers

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Premature elimination: Wake Forest soon...

Definite elimination: Duke, Georgia Tech, Louisville, FSU, NC State, Syracuse, Clemson, UNC, Virginia, Pitt, Miami, Kansas, Iowa State, Texas Tech, Kansas State, TCU, West Virginia, Texas Tech, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana, Northwestern, Rutgers, Minnie, Wisky, Cal, Oregon State, Arizona, Stanford, Colorado, Southern Cal, Utah, UCLA, Washington State, Washington, Mizzou, Vandy, Tennessee, South Carolina, Missy State. NEW: LSU, Boston College, Purdue, Maryland.

Endangered: Ohio State, Texas, Virginia Tech, NC State, Arizona State, Auburn, Oklahoma, Iowa, NEW: Ole Miss, Arky, Baylor, Oregon, Florida, Texas A&M.

Premature endangered: Michigan State

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - And then there was one. Wake Forrest at 5-0 is the only remaining unbeaten team in the ACC. The one-loss teams have pretty lousy resumes. This conference might get shut out of the CFP for the first time (Clemson 6 appearances, FSU 1).
  • Big 12 - Oklahoma had yet another struggle-win over an inferior opponent. Okie Lite is also 5-0. They face off at the end of the season.
  • Big Ten - Say what you will about Grade-A moron B1G Commissioner Kevin Warren, the sneaky-ass so-and-so managed to set up a schedule so his league will get some buzz early on. But it won’t last. None of the top four teams of the East Division face off until October 30. I am hesitant to put any faith into any of those undefeated records as of now.
  • PAC-12 - No undefeated teams remain in the PAC after Oregon pulled an Oregon, snatching glory out of the jaws of a playoff birth. The win over Ohio State is but a distant memory after losing to Stanford (3-2). Oregon State of all teams leads the North Division with a 4-1, 2-0 record. Only OU and Arizona State are even ranked.
  • SEC - Bama and UGA. Considering they lost on the road to the #1 team, Ole Miss could sneak in the back door at No. 4 if they get back to smoking opponents and every other contender continues to trip up.
  • Indies - Notre Dame is toast. BYU is 5-0 but they are unimpressively averaging 29.2 point per game.
  • Non-Power 5 - Cincinnati beat Indiana (2-3) who is proving weekly to not be so good and have plenty more losses coming their way (Sparty, anOSU, @Maryland, @Mich in consecutive weeks). Outside of the southern US, everyone believed Notre Dame was a contender. But we knew better. Winning in South Bend makes pretty headlines but is Cincinnati deserving of a playoff spot based on those two wins? The Bearcats’ next toughest game is SMH... er SMU.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The AP and Coaches Poll rankings are meaningless and a crapshoot anyway. Check out the Preseason AP and where they are now:

  1. Alabama (47) - “We’re still having fun, and you’re still the one
  2. Oklahoma (6) - struggle wins every week, now #6
  3. Clemson (6) - unranked
  4. Ohio State (1) - one loss, #7
  5. Georgia (3) - a close #2, received nine #1 votes this week*
  6. Texas A&M - unranked
  7. Iowa State - unranked
  8. Cincinnati - #5
  9. Notre Dame - lost to Cincy at home, only dropped to #14
  10. North Carolina - unranked
  11. Oregon - lost to Stanford, #8
  12. Wisconsin - unranked
  13. Florida - #20 with two losses
  14. Miami - unranked
  15. Southern Cal - unranked
  16. LSU - unranked
  17. Indiana - unranked
  18. Iowa - a precarious #3
  19. Penn State - #4
  20. Washington - unranked
  21. Texas - #21! SPOT ON!
  22. Coastal Carolina - #15
  23. Laffy - unranked
  24. Utah - unranked
  25. Arizona State - #22

* Voters who gave UGA #1 votes include an Arkansas beat writer (native Atlantan), WSB-TV Atlanta sports guy, UConn beat writer, Ohio State beat, Arizona beat, midwest guy covering Tampa beat, Sparty TV guy, Notre Dame beat, and a Dallas Morning News guy. Funny how the only southerners who picked them are probably homers.

The only rankings that really matter are those from the CFP Committee and you just have to be in the top four. The first rankings drop in a month on Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2021.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to the University of Tennessee. As if you need another reason to hate Tennessee, a recent story broke about the Vols cancelling a home game against Army on September 17, 2022. The pathetic thing is that they did it because they thought they would surely lose. But that is not the end of the story.

In that same week, the 2022 Congressional Medal of Honor Society Convention will occur in Knoxville. The plan was to have all living recipients of this most prestigious of award of valor to be honored at halftime of the game in a stadium that was named after the late Robert Neyland, a West Point grad, who served in both World Wars and twice left his post as head coach of the Vols to serve his country.

It gets worse.

Even though Tennessee cancelled the game in February, the school did not announce the schedule change. The change only became apparent when the SEC recently revealed the 2022 schedules for the member schools. The cowardice and lack of honor is stunning.

The Black Knights also miss out on a $1.4 million guarantee for the game. The only saving grace is that they get $500,000 fee for the cancelation.

The original game was agreed upon in 2016, one year before Fat F*** Phillip Fulmer’s second coup d’etat in Knoxville. It should come as no surprise that the move was initiated by him (add another half-a-mill of burnt money to FFPF’s legacy) along with former head coach Jeremy Pruitt, and carried out by major dickhead Danny White. White is the current Tennessee AD who was previously at University of Center Florida and was the instigator of all that T-shirt “Nashnul Champyunship” nonsense in 2017, as well as the notion that they deserve home-and-home series with SEC teams, and so on. He has replaced Army with the lamest of lame Akron. I hope the Zips run the triple option on them.

HEISMAN HYPE

Most years, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. Of course there are exceptions.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the slobbering press and other voters will callously crush on.

LEADER

  • QB Bryce Young (Soph, Alabama) 20-26, 241 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT - The hype machine has broken down. What little talk there is centers around Young and these media types are doing so with so much resentment. I would hate to see BY miss out just because these little babies have Bama Fatigue.

UNWORTHY NEW CONTENDERS

  • QB Desmond Ridder (Sr, Cincinnati) 19-32, 297 YDS, 2 TD, 10 rush, 26 YDS, Fumble lost - Shoulda seen this coming. The flapping gums love an “oh gee whillickers” underdog little train that could story. Truth is, defense won this game and Ridder’s stats are meh.
  • QB CJ Stroud (Soph, anOSU) 17-23, 330 YDS, 5 TD - After four games of mediocrity, five touchdowns thrown at Rutgers has suddenly caught the eyes of writers with blank laptop screens. Gotta write about something or some 22-year old intern will take your job...

FADING BUT NOT OUT

  • QB Matt Corral (RS-Jr, Ole Miss) 21-29, 213 YDS, 1 garbage time pass TD, 10 rush, 3 yards, 1 garbage time rush TD, lost fumble - You want a “Heisman moment”? Go over to Tuscaloosa and knock big bad Bama off their perch. Well, that didn’t happen as the Tide made Corral look rather average. His touchdowns and most of his yardage came after the outcome was decided.

GONE

  • QB Jack Coan (RS-Sr, Notre Dame) 9-22, 143 YDS, 1 TD, benched - good riddance.

TOKEN RUNNING BACK WHO WON’T WIN

  • Kenneth Walker (Jr, Michigan State) 126 and 3 TD vs. WKU. Yawn...
  • Bijan Robinson (Soph, Texas) 216 yds on 33 carries against TCU. Beat writers have been waiting all season to trot out this name.
  • TreVeyon Henderson (Fr, anOSU) 8 for 71, 1 TD; only three catches on the season.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

It’s amazing how the blabbermouths have quickly forgotten the interceptions Desmond Ridder threw against Indy and Miami-Ohio, plus the 43.7 QB rating he had against Murray State. Ridder has yet to throw for more than 300 yards in a game this season.

Bryce Young made his first mistake of the season throwing an ill-conceived pass into a crowd in the end zone that was picked off. He also took a few sacks and is still a little hesitant to run. That said, he is head and shoulders above everyone else so far. Bama fans are not going to like hearing this but if Young takes the trophy, it might be one of the most underwhelming wins since Sam Bradford in 2008. Young is a sharp efficient quarterback. He just doesn’t get the blood pumping.

THE SICK REPORT

  • Rich Rodriguez’s son Rhett, a QB at ULM, injured a lung against Troy on Sept. 25. He was placed in the ICU but was released from the hospital a few days later. We wish them nothing but the best, and not just because the former Mrs. Rich-Rod unknowingly did Alabama the greatest favor of all time.
  • Indiana quarterback Michael Penix will be out indefinitely after injuring his throwing shoulder in Saturday’s loss at Penn State.
  • Clemson may be down another vital cog. WR Justyn Ross missed the second half of the BC game after taking a hit to the head. Ross missed the 2020 season because of a spinal injury.

DRAMA

  • Drama Queen of the Week: MTSU starting quarterback Bailey Hockman quit the football team after being benched in the second half of the Blue Raider’s 27-13 loss to UTSA. Hockman has a history of backing off of commitments. As a recruit, he committed and decommited from both Georgia and FSU. He finally signed with NC State and actually started last season but moved to Murfreesboro after being afraid of a little competition in Raleigh. Make a note of that name: “Bailey Hockman”. If you see that name on a resume crossing your desk, burn it, shred it, and bury it in your back yard.

Truth.

  • Kentucky is being fined $250,000 for a third offense of their idiot fans storming the field. Greg Sankey has a long memory as Offense #2 was against Missy State in 2018. The first offense was not mentioned. Google it if you must know.
  • Do you think LSU could have used cornerback Derek Stingley on Saturday to knock down those lucky-ass YOLO passes Bo Nix was tossing up for grabs? Nobody is willing to talk about his mysterious injuries but I am pretty sure that Stingley is healthy-scratching himself, basically quitting on his team. I feel for whatever NFL GM burns a first round pick on him.
  • Oregon’s Kayvon Thibodeaux was back on the field Saturday but didn’t last the whole game since he was ejected for targeting late in the fourth quarter. He will miss the first half against Cal which is no big deal.

KOACHES KORNER

  • LSU coach Ed Orgeron is 8-7 since lifting the Big Beer Tap trophy back in January 2020. The Tigers’ next five games are Kentucky, Florida, @Ole Miss, @Alabama, Arkansas. Woo, Lawd! There is a good chance that he has already started losing the locker room with his BS jabbering. Recall how much quit was seen out of his Tigers a year ago? If fired, the Cajun Chizik would be owed somewhere in the neighborhood of $21 million. However, there have been murmurs that the administration may play their Title IX card that can be used to fire him with just cause, owing him nothing. We’ll always remember him for this: “We’re going to beat their (expletive) in recruiting. We’re going to beat their (expletive) every time they see us. You understand that? Roll Tide what? (Expletive) you.
  • Jimbo Fisher is now 29-12 after 40 games at Texas A&M. His predecessor Kevin Sumlin was 30-11. Fisher received a four-year contract extension before the season. He is now signed through 2031 (!!!) bumping his salary from $7.5 million to around $9 million.
  • Dan Mullen is one of the most overrated head coaches in college football. The above stats only refer to his tenure at Florida. I mentioned after the Gators’ loss to Alabama that they were moping around with coulda, shoulda, wouldas and he let it linger an extra week. He showed his lack of self-control when he incited a brawl last season and lack of maturity when he spent an entire press conference in a Darth Vader costume. Know that as an offensive mind, he is one of the best. But as a guy in charge of a whole program, he is suspect.
  • Since we are picking on “offensive geniuses” who are head SEC guys, Eli Drinkwitz is in over his head. He is a playcaller and a quarterback whisperer but he pretty much ignores the defensive side of the ball. Mizzou is yielding 38.0 ppg and 500.2 ypg. That is good for 122nd and 127th in the nation, respectively. The Tigers are 2-3 and haven’t even played Texas A&M, Georgia, Florida, or Arkansas yet.
  • Urban Meyer just makes it too easy. These days, it is not unusual for this scumbag to be hanging around with blondes who are not his wife. But this time it wasn’t Trevor Lawrence. Slimeball Meyer was seen out over the weekend at a bar he owns in Dublin, Ohio. The Jaguars lost a Thursday night game against the Cincinnati Bengals. He was wearing an Ohio State pullover as if he WANTED to get noticed. The big hubub was the blonde he was seen with was not named “Sunshine”. The unnamed young lady was seen grinding on Urbie and he did nothing to stop it. Somehow, the original video and Twitter account that released it was deleted. But UM’s henchmen were too slow. Before the video went viral and news leaked of his behavior, his unsuspecting wife back in Jacksonville had ironically tweeted “Meanwhile, I am babysitting.” It was probably all innocent but when you are an adult public figure, you need to have the wisdom to walk away from this sort of thing and not “lean in”.
Black and White TV

TEEVEE

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big UConn-UMass showdown, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, October 7

Coastal Carolina at Arkansas State 6:30/7:30 ESPNU - CCU QB Grayson McCall is hurt (foot) but still gets the start on a short turnaround.
Houston at Tulane 6:30/7:30 ESPN

Friday, October 8

Temple at Cincinnati 6pm/7pm ESPN - Cincy need to win-out BIG.
Charlotte at FIU 6pm/7pm CBSSN - blurgh
Stanford at Arizona State 9:30/10:30 ESPN

Saturday, October 9

GAMES OF THE WEEK

* Oklahoma (-3½) at Texas 11am/noon ABC (Cotton Bowl, Dallas, TX) - Tejas is looking better since their Arky humiliation. Can they knock Okie off the wall?

* Arkansas at Ole Miss (-6½) 11am/noon ESPN - Consolation game. Rebs O vs Hogs D should be interesting.

ELIMINATION GAME

* Penn State at Iowa 3pm/4pm FOX - Loser is in a bad way playoff-wise.

SEC

Vanderbilt at Florida 11am/noon SECN - Gators gonna take out their anger on the Dores.
South Carolina at Tennessee 11am/noon ESPN2 - This derpfest could go either way.
Georgia at Auburn 2:30/3:30 CBS - Reality awaits.
North Texas at Missouri 3pm/4pm SECN - “I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”
LSU at Kentucky 6:30/7:30 SECN - This is the kind of game UK screws up and O wins to keep some goodwill going.

OTHERS ON SATURDAY

Not much outside the SEC to watch.

Maryland at Ohio State 11am/noon FOX - Which Terps team will show up in Columbus?
Notre Dame at Virginia Tech 6:30/7:30 ACCN - Are the Irish about to get another shovelful of dirt on their faces?

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP...

UCLA at Arizona 9:30/10:30 ESPN
New Mexico State at Nevada 9:30/10:30 CBSSN

SABAN vs. MACK

  • Granpa Mack Brown is pissing away his golden years with underperfoming efforts in 2021. UNC is 3-2 this season as he continues to lose pace with Nick Saban in career FBS/I-A wins Mack: 256, Saban: 266, Bear: 323, Pop: 319.
  • Saban has won 44 straight games when scoring a touchdown on the opening drive.
  • The Crimson Tide has scored 30+ points in 31 straight games, tied for the longest streak in FBS/D-I. POLL: Will they make it 32? A, B, C.
  • I’m sure you heard this one: Saban is 24-0 against his former assistants. Up next: Jimbo.

#ALABAMA

  • Alabama RB Brian Robinson was named the SEC Offensive Player of the Week, the Walter Camp National Offensive Player of the Week, and Maxwell Award Player of the Week. LB Will Anderson was named the SEC Defensive Player of the Week and Bednarik Award Player of the Week.
  • Loki just couldn’t leave us alone. Dynamic Tide running back Jase McClellan had knee surgery Tuesday and is out for the season. The sophomore is second on the team in rushing (191 yards, 1 TD) and by far first among running backs in receiving (10 rec, 97 yds, 3 TD). With McClellan on the shelf, Alabama is left with three healthy scholarship tailbacks in Brian Robinson, Roydell Williams, and Trey Sanders. Freshman Camar Wheaton has not played so far this season due to an undisclosed injury he sustained in fall practice.
  • Indispensable safety Jordan Battle briefly came out of the Ole Miss game and had his left ankle/foot attended to in the locker room. He did return to the game and should be okay. Battle has played the most defensive snaps of the season (283 of 306) of any Tide player. RS-freshman Kristian Story appears to be his back-up, at least in garbage time.
  • Defensive lineman Tim Smith has been shooting up the charts the last two weeks. Keep an eye out for big #50 creating chaos at the line of scrimmage.
  • Henry To’o To’o played his best game in crimson and white and appears to be improving every week. The junior linebacker had three solo tackles (one for a loss), seven assists, and a QBH. LB Drew Sanders (3 solo, 2 asst, 2 QBH) also continues to improve.
  • Tight end Jahleel Billingsley is the third leading receiver on the team (10 rec, 178 yds, 2 TD) behind Jameson Williams and John Metchie. Yet, it is not just about receiving stats. On Saturday, Billingsley followed his assignments, made good blocks, and ran very crisp routes. He is a whole different player.
  • Alabama at Mississippi State will be at 6pm/7pm and air on ESPN.
  • The Bullies have a bye week before playing the Tide on Oct. 16. How did that work out for Ole Miss??

GAME 6: Saturday, October 9, 2021

Alabama Crimson Tide (5-0) at Texas A&M Aggies (3-2)

College Station, TX ~ 7pm CT/8pm ET, CBS

  • Weather in College Station on Saturday is calling for mostly sunny and a high of 93° during the day. However, it will cool down to 66° at night. Expect 72% humidity and a high percentage of creepy fake army guys.
  • Announcers: Ugh, Gary AGAIN...
  • Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
  • The Crimson Tide have a 11-2 edge over TAMU all-time. Alabama is 5-0 at Kyle Trask Field. The only losses were the 1968 Cotton Bowl and the 2012 JFF YOLO game.
  • The line on this game is around Bama -17½. Over/Under is a modest 50½.

Poll

Is Cincy a playoff team?

  • 16%
    No, way overrated.
    (116 votes)
  • 62%
    They are good but wins over Indy and ND are not impressive enough.
    (450 votes)
  • 21%
    Yes, way better than Okie, anOhio State, and the like.
    (152 votes)
718 votes total Vote Now