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Random Thoughts: Big XII Chaos, Auburn Collapse

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College football news: all the scores, injuries, gaffes, upsets, derps, and snark that you can handle.

Aubie suffers the fatal 28-3 first half lead curse.
@BrittonJohnson

If last week you told Auburn fans that Saturday afternoon in Jerdin-Hair would be a historic day, they probably would have been brimming with excitement. After 28 minutes of play and the Tigers up 28-3, their heads must have been ready to explode with ecstasy. However, the next 32 minutes would destroy their world. Welcome to the Mountain Time Malzahn Universe.

Meanwhile in cowboy territory, the two kingpins of the Big 12 would see the chickens come home to roost. I wonder if Greg Sankey kept his receipts.

BIG XII IMPLOSION

Kansas 57 Texas 56 (OT) - The Jayhawks had no problem messing with Texas, jumping out to a two touchdown advantage in the first quarter. UT struck back to tie it up, but KU would score three straight touchdowns including a pick 6 with a minute to go in the first half to take a 35-14 lead. Texas came back with a strong second half, tying it up at 49-49 with 22 ticks remaining in regulation play. In overtime, the Longhorns scored a touchdown. Kansas also scored a TD but coach Lance Leipold Assassin rolled the dice and went for two and the win. A most improbable game ended with an even more improbable play in which the desperate scrambling third-string quarterback who was supposed to redshirt this season threw a pass to walk-on tight end Jared Casey for the victory.

Kansas had not won a Big 12 road game since 2008 when George W. Bush was President and snapped an 8-game conference losing streak. It was also their first win against an FBS team since October 26, 2019 versus Texas Tech.

Baylor 27 Oklahoma 14 - All that silly Caleb Williams for Heisman talk has come to a complete halt. The quarterback who Kirk Herbstreit touted as the “face of the sport for much of this year and definitely the next two years” was an inept 9 of 18 passing for 142 yards and two INTs. He also ran for a measly 17 yards on 10 attempts. The Sooners were held to a piddling 260 total yards. Okie head coach Lincoln Riley would bench Williams for Spencer Rattler and then in turn bench Rattler for Williams. Nothing worked. Meanwhile, Baylor compiled 413 yards and 24 first downs.

But the wildest part was the end. Since this is 2021 and every student body feels the need to run on the field for any kind of victory, the stupid BU fans off course rushed the field (just a week ago, TCU fans rushed the field on Baylor) with 1 second still remaining and the score 24-14.

After the game, Riley said he was upset that Baylor wasn’t assessed a 15-yard penalty for the field rushing, which seems logical. As you can see above, the field had to be cleared and because of the non-call, the Bears were able to line up for a seemingly inconsequential field goal. All but 11 Sooners left the field and they did not even bother to try and block the kick.

So, why would BU coach Dave Aranda bother to kick a field goal with a ten point lead and victory already in hand other than to troll? [insert Dave Chappelle jpg here] That is what Riley was wondering harshly criticizing his counterpart. The Baylor coach explained that it was for a Big 12 tiebreaker in case of a three-team tie for the Conference Championship Game.

Under the conference rules after two tiebreakers, scoring differential among the tied teams is considered. The team or teams with the lowest difference between points scored and points allowed in games vs. the tied teams is eliminated from consideration.

What a f***ed up conference.

ESS-EE-SEE

Mississippi State 43 Auburn 34 - It was Super Bowl 51 all over again. The Aubies let a 28-3 lead dissolve away like pure grain alcohol on asphalt in August. Very appropriate for a team from Georgia. In the worst collapse in Auburn football history, the Tigers blew that 25 point lead allowing the Bullies to score 40 unanswered points. Clanga clang QB Will Rogers completed 44 of 55 passes for 415 yards and SIX touchdowns (six more than he scored against Alabama BTW). Auburn would score a garbage touchdown late for their only score of the second half to make it a smidge closer.

Late in the game, Auburn QB Bo Nix injured an ankle and could not return for the final possession. He will have surgery and is expected to miss rest of regular season. TJ Finley will take over against South Carolina on Saturday. Auburn placekicker Anders Carlson is out for the season with an ACL injury.

Ole Miss 29 Texas A&M 19 - The Rebels jumped out to a 10-0 first quarter lead and looked to add another score before Matt Corral fumbled at the TAMU 26. After another OM field goal, the Rebs drove to the Aggies goal line but was stopped on downs. The A&M celebration was short-lived as RB Isaiah Spiller was tackled in the end zone on the next play for a safety. TAMU mounted a second half comeback scoring the next 13 points to trail by two. However, Stephen Garcia Zach Calzada would throw two straight fourth quarter interceptions - one returned to the Texas A&M 14 yard line and converted into a TD two plays later, and the other returned for a score.

Florida 70 Samford 52 - The Dan Mullen dumpster fire has just been swept away by a lava flow heading for a cliff. After firing his defensive coordinator during the week, the Gators fell behind 4-6 FCS Samford (let me repeat: Samford, not Stanford) to the tune of 42-28. The 42 points are the most points UF have ever given up to any team, FCS or FBS, in a single half. These crooked numbers included a 98-yard kickoff return and touchdown passes of 48 and 40 yards. Somewhere, former DC Todd Grantham must be shaking his head. UF would come back to win but what an ugly humiliating win. The Bulldogs were rewarded with a parting gift of $525,000 for their troubles.

Arkansas 16 LSU 13 (OT) - Fathead Ogre finally yanked Max Johnson at QB and replaced him with Garrett Nussmeier who led LSU to a 10-3 halftime lead. Arky finally found the end zone to tie it and then pulled off a fake field goal that oddly led to a go-ahead field goal 13-10. LSU would tie it up and eventually the game went to overtime. In the Tigers first extra frame, Nussmeier would throw a pick on the first play. The Hogs would kick a field goal to win the jagged-edged heavy-ass boot trophy. What a shame it had to happen in Def Valley at night where everything is majicuh.

Georgia 41 Tennessee 17 - The Vols started out strong scoring on their first possession. UGA would answer. UT got down to the Bulldogs 7 but had to settle for a field goal. 10-7 is the last time they would lead. Tennessee would gain 25 yards in the second quarter. Georgia, as they are wont to do, would lull America to sleep while scoring the next 34 points. Seriously, this is the most boring No. 1 team I can ever recall.

Alabama 59 New Mexico State 3 - Bama took care of business and actually covered an over 40 line spread for once.

PSEUDO SEC

Kentucky 34 Vanderbilt 17 - The ‘Cats jumped out to a 31-3 halftime lead but then shut it down in the second half and allowed the ‘Dores to outscore them 14-3. This UK team is in no position to be taking anything easy.

Missouri 31 South Carolina 28 - The Battle of Columbia was really the Battle to Stay Out of the SEC East Cellar. It was a close affair only because it the game was chock-full of derps. Both teams committed three turnovers in an ugly affair that needs to be filed away under ‘Miscellaneous’ and never spoken of again.

THE CINCINNATI DILEMMA

The wide-spread love for this mediocre Cincy team is baffling.

PLAYED AND BEAT

Rutgers 38 Indiana 3 - The Hoosiers continue to prove that 2019 was a one-hit wonder as they zero in on a winless season in the B1G (2-8, 0-7).
Notre Dame 28 Virginia 3 - The Irish did not squander their 28-3 lead like Aubie did but they continue to underwhelm. They were fortunate enough to face UVa with the Cavs’ starting QB Brennan Armstrong (rib injury) on the sidelines in street clothes.

YET TO PLAY

SMU 55 UCF 28 - The Mustangs are 8-2 but have lost two of their last three.
Houston 37 Temple 8 - The Bearcats likely opponent in the AACCG moves to 9-1. Like Cincy, they have not really beaten any team of merit.
East Carolina 30 Memphis 29 (OT) - ECU is the team nobody is talking about, yet they are 6-4 having won three straight. They get the Bearcats in the final weekend. Maybe if CU is looking ahead...

OTHER STUFF

Wake Forest 45 NC State 42 - Nice win for the Deacs, but they still have a long way to go to get back in the CFP door.
Michigan 21 Penn State 17 - PSU led 17-14 until the Wolvies scored with 3:29 left to sneak out of State College with the W. The coaching rumors surrounding James Franklin have quelled by a considerably amount.
Ohio State 59 Purdue 31 - You knew PU had no magic left in their bag.
Oregon 38 Washington State 24 - The Dux beat a drama-filled Wazzu team with no head coach.
Oklahoma State 63 TCU 17 - Okie Lite trying to get some attention.

MADE IN A LAB KICKER OF THE WEEK

UGLIEST UNIFORMS

Too easy.

SECOND UGLIEST UNIFORMS

Maryland v Michigan State Photo by Mike Mulholland/Getty Images

W T literal F?

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN

6’4” / 305

BIGGEST MOMENTUM KILLER

Nice try, Cajun Chizik.

TROLL OF THE WEEK

LOL! Sound effects and everything!

NO GUARANTEES

PARENTS OF THE WEEK

How cool is this?

WHEN YOUR TEAM SUUUUUUCKS

WORST LOCKER ROOM DANCE OF THE WEEK

Sooo awkward...

STUPIDEST LOCKER ROOM DANCE OF THE WEEK AFTER GIVING UP 52 TO A 4-6 FCS TEAM

What a clown.

SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR A TRICK PLAY

A crazy fog rolled in on Eastern Washington and UC Davis proving further that California is the worst state ever... after Ohio.

FSU VS JAX STATE DEFENSE OF THE WEEK

KID BROTHER GETS BEAT UP AGAIN

Taulia Tagovailoa (29-48, 350 YDS, 2 TD, 1 RZ INT, 10 RSUH, 12 RUSH YDS, 4 SACKS) - Poor Lia is getting no blocking whatsoever as Sparty hands the Turtles (5-5) their fifth defeat in six games. He had a nice 45-yard run (above) but ended up with 10 total rushing yards if that tells you anything. He also got flagged three times for intentional grounding and struggled in the red zone including tossing a pick near the goal line that could have drawn UM to within 6.

Maryland need to top either Michigan or @Rutgers to get back to the postseason for the first time since 2016.

STATS OF THE WEEK

Rank Team Pts Scored Pts Allowed Margin
1 Georgia 38.7 7.6 31.1
2 Alabama 44.6 18.2 26.4
3 Ohio State 46.3 20.2 26.1
4 Cincinnati 39.2 16.2 23.0
5 Coastal Carolina 42.3 19.8 22.5
6 Pittsburgh 43.5 22.7 20.8
7 UTSA 38.6 19.0 19.6
8 Michigan 34.7 16.1 18.6
9 Houston 38.9 20.8 18.1
10 Liberty 35.1 18.7 16.4
11 Oklahoma State 32.2 16.4 15.8
12 SMU 41.6 25.9 15.7
13 Wake Forest 44.7 29.1 15.6
14 Baylor 35.4 19.9 15.5
15 Oklahoma 40.0 24.5 15.5
20 Oregon 35.3 22.6 12.7
21 Michigan State 34.6 22.5 12.1
26 Notre Dame 32.3 20.5 11.8
29 Texas A&M 27.6 16.1 11.5
32 Ole Miss 36.9 26.2 10.7
37 Auburn 31.6 22.1 9.5
38 Clemson 24.4 15.3 9.1
40 Penn State 26.0 17.1 8.9
41 Iowa 24.7 16.3 8.4
42 Arkansas 30.9 22.9 8.0
47 Tennessee 36.1 29.5 6.6
50 Kentucky 29.2 22.8 6.4
52 Florida 33.5 27.4 6.1
56 Texas 37.8 32.5 5.3
66 Mississippi State 29.5 26.2 3.3
78 Southern Cal 29.6 28.9 0.7
81 LSU 27.1 26.6 0.5
87 South Carolina 23.5 24.4 -0.9
94 Missouri 31.5 35.9 -4.4
106 Stanford 22.0 30.3 -8.3
118 Indiana 18.6 32.0 -13.4
127 Vanderbilt 15.1 35.4 -20.3

  • Through ten games, Alabama is second to only UGA in scoring margin.
  • Kansas entered Saturday 0-100 as an underdog of at least 24 points since the 1978 FBS/FCS split, by far the worst W-L in FBS over that span. Texas entered Saturday 79-0 as a favorite of at least 24 points in that same time frame.
  • Vegas is on a roll with their second straight win after losing their first eight! UNLV running back Charles Williams tallied 266 yards on 38 carries in a win over Hawaii.
  • Former Bama back-up QB Layne Hatcher was 34 of 50 for 444 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT in Arky Lite’s 27-24 upset of ULM.
  • Mark Stoops (56–53 in 9 seasons) now has the second most career wins at Kentucky, standing just four victories short of the school record held by one Paul W. Bryant (60–23–5 in 8 seasons).

COLLEGE GAMEDAY

GameDay will be in Columbus, OHMYGODWHATAHORRIBLESTATE for the Sparty-anOSU game.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

  • UTSA (10-0) The Roadrunners had a struggle against one-win Southern Miss, actually trailing in the third quarter 17-10 before scoring the next 17 points for the win. The San Antones might have gotten caught looking ahead to always-dangerous UAB who comes a-callin’ on Saturday.
  • UCLA (6-4) - The Bruins became bowl eligible for the first time in four years with a 44-20 victory over Colorado. The Battle for LaLaLand is on tap as the Fightin’ John Woodens head to South Central L.A.
  • UT-Martin (9-1) - The Skyhawks dispatched with Tennessee Tech 42-3 to clinch their first OVC title since 2006. They have won nine straight since a season opening loss to WKU that they probably wish they could replay. UTM wraps up the regular season at SE Missouri State.

COUSINS

  • Troy (5-5) - The Trojans fell to ULLaffy 35-21. Troy host Appy and then travel to Georgia State in the season capper. They need to win one for bowl eligibility and it won’t be easy.
  • South Alabama (5-5) - The Jags unsurprisingly got whupped by Appalachian State 31-7. To add injury to insult, QB Jake Bentley injured his knee and is likely gone for rest of season. The odds of USA getting to a bowl game are not good as they finish with @Tennessee and vs Coastal Carolina.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO DIGS HIS GRUBBY PAWS IN THE M&M BOWL LOOKING FOR GREEN ONES BECAUSE OF SOME URBAN LEGEND THAT IT MAKES HIM HORNY AND IN HIS WARPED MIND WILL GET LAID

  • UAB (7-3) - The Dragons intercepted a Marshall pass with 1:31 remaining to lock up a tough road win 21-14. Next is a tougher one at the home of the league leading UTSA.

[We here at RBR continue to be astounded that Bill Clark’s name never comes up in coaching job searches.]

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NOV 06 Lockheed Martin Commanders’ Classic - Army v Air Force
Check out the bro on the far right. lol
Photo by Matthew Pearce/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
  • Army (6-3) - The Black Knights blasted Bucknell 63-10 to get the prized sixth win of the season. They should get win number seven with UMass being the next target.
  • Navy (2-7) - The Midshipmen had a week of R&R to prep for underappreciated ECU (6-4).
  • Air Force (7-3) - The Falcons connected on a 92-yard TD pass for the longest pass in school history, as AFA turned back Colorado State 35-21 for their fifth straight win. Next is a must-win at the always difficult Nevada (7-3).
TENNIS-GBR-WIMBLEDON Photo by AELTC/JED LEICESTER/AFP via Getty Images

COMMANDER-IN-CHUMPS TROPHY

The Championship Game is nigh.

9/2/21 Tennessee 38 Bowling Green 6
9/11/21 South Alabama 22 Bowling Green 19
11/20/21 South Alabama at Tennessee - Championship!

boxers

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Premature elimination: None.

Definite elimination: Duke, Georgia Tech, Louisville, FSU, NC State, Syracuse, Clemson, UNC, Virginia, Pitt, Boston College, Miami, Virginia Tech, Kansas, Iowa State, Texas Tech, Kansas State, TCU, West Virginia, Texas Tech, Texas, Baylor, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana, Northwestern, Rutgers, Minnie, Wisky, Purdue, Maryland, Iowa, Penn State, Cal, Oregon State, Arizona, Arizona State, Stanford, Colorado, Southern Cal, Utah, UCLA, Washington State, Washington, Mizzou, Vandy, Tennessee, South Carolina, Missy State, LSU, Texas A&M, Arky, Kentucky, Auburn, Florida, BYU, Ole Miss. NEW:

Endangered: Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State, Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Alabama, Wake Forest, Notre Dame, Cincy. NEW: None.

Not endangered: UGA.

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - Wake Forest was probably the last hope. They’ll need to win out and pray for chaos in other parts of the country.
  • Big 12 - Oklahoma’s upset might not have been so bad had they not looked like crap all season.
  • Big Ten - anOSU, Sparty, and Michigan all won but the next round-robin comes this week.
  • PAC-12 - Oregon still has an outside shot.
  • SEC - UGA has a rare road trip to meet an inspired Tennessee team. Alabama is still in the hunt as long as they keep winning.
  • Indies - Notre Dame is that guy who arrives at a bar ten minutes before closing time to swoop in on the unsuspecting.
  • Non-Power 5 - Cincinnati beat two-win USF by 17. Whoop-dee-doo.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Cincinnati once again won unimpressively against an awful team. Oklahoma ran out of luck.

The third CFP Committee rankings will be announced tonight on ESPN at 6pm CT/7pm ET.

My picks:

  1. Georgia
  2. Alabama
  3. Ohio State
  4. Oregon (I feel dirty)

** Give us your top 4 or top 6 or top whatevs in comments. **

LET’S GO BOWLING!

Conference Bowl Eligible
SEC 8
Big Ten 8
ACC 6
Big 12 6
Mountain West 6
AAC 5
C-USA 5
Pac-12 5
MAC 3
Sun Belt 3

  • Mississippi State and Army are now among 59 teams eligible for one of 41 bowl games.
  • In the SEC, the following eight steams are bowl eligible: Georgia, Alabama, Ole Miss, Kentucky, Texas A&M, Arkansas, Mississippi State, and Auburn.
  • Another 26 teams are one win away from six, including Tennessee, South Carolina, Mizzou, Florida, Troy, South Alabama, and Miami (FL) among others. The Vols should get there with South Ally and Vandy yet to play. The Gators are at Mizz and home vs FSU. LSU will have to get by both ULM and TAMU to see any post-season action.

SEC BOWL TIE-INS

Dec 23 Gasparilla: ACC/SEC vs. Pool
Dec 28 Birmingham: ACC/SEC vs. Pool
Dec 28 Liberty: Big 12 vs. SEC
Dec 30 Music City: Big Ten vs. SEC
Dec 31 Gator: Big Ten vs. SEC
Dec 30 Peach: at-large vs. at-large (assigned by CFPC)
Dec 31 Cotton: CFP Semifinal (assigned by CFPC)
Dec 31 Orange: CFP Semifinal (assigned by CFPC)
Jan 1 Sugar: SEC vs. Big 12 (assigned by CFPC)
Jan 1 Rose: Big Ten vs. Pac-12 (assigned by CFPC)
Jan 1 Fiesta: at-large vs. at-large (assigned by CFPC)
Jan 1 Citrus: Big Ten vs. SEC
Jan 1 Outback: Big Ten vs. SEC
Jan 4 Texas: Big 12 vs. SEC

LET’S GO BLOWING!

  • 31 FBS teams have seven or more losses. Power-5 teams on this list include Arizona, Colorado, Duke, Indiana, Kansas, Nebraska, Northwestern, Stanford, and Vanderbilt.
  • I’m gonna #GOML here for a second. If I made the rules, only teams with an above .500 winning percentage against FBS teams (no FCS wins) would be eligible for a bowl. Come @ me, bruhs.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to pronouns. No not THOSE kinds of pronouns. The pronoun that seem to be sweeping the nation among sports writers when referring to a football team: IT. You can stick your grammar book up your nether regions. Calling a team “it” or saying the possessive “its” (“Alabama looked much improved, but it needs its starting center, Darrian Dalcourt, back to 100%”) just sounds stupid. CB and I vow to NEVER do this ridiculousness. We will stick to good old sensibility and use “they” and “their”. “Alabama looked much improved, but they need their starting center, Darrian Dalcourt, back to 100%.”

HEISMAN HYPE

Most years, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. Of course there are exceptions.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the press have been hyping.

PRECARIOUS LEADER

  • QB Bryce Young (Soph, Alabama) 21-23, 270 YDS, 5 T, 7 RUSH YDS, 2 SACKS - A good day against an inferior opponent but had a sack fumble (that wasn’t really his fault). His consistency is his best quality.

POTENTIAL CONTENDERS

  • QB CJ Stroud (Soph, anOSU) 31-38, 361 YDS, 5 TD, -1 RUSH YDS, 0 SACKS - His third 5 TD performance of the season helped deflect the poor game he had against Nebraska the week before. Yet, there really isn’t much buzz around him as the “leader”.
  • QB Kenny Pickett (Super-Sr, Pitt) 25-43, 346 YDS, 3 TD, 1 INT, -11 RUSH YDS, 4 SACKS - Despite beating UNC this past week, the Pitt offense disappeared for much of the second half.
  • QB Desmond Ridder (Sr, Cincinnati) 31-39, 304 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT, 31-39, 304 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT RUSH YDS, 1 TD, 1 SACK against a bad USF team - Just like his team, he is getting the “underdog” label that could pull at the heartstrings of some of these idiot voters.

COULD GET SOME VOTES

  • QB Matt Corral (RS-Jr, Ole Miss) 24-37, 247 YDS, 1 TD, -5 RUSH YDS, 1 SACK, 2 FUMBLES, 1 LOST - Lane Kiffin has been pumping that sunshine. However, Corral has been inconsistent and only has 17 touchdown passes.
  • QB Will Rogers (Soph, Miss. State) 44-55, 415 YDS, 6 TD, -7 RUSH YDS, 2 SACKS

GONE

  • Bijan Robinson (Soph, Texas) 14 CAR, 70 YDS, 0 TD - As much as the blabbermouths drool over him, there is no way anyone from this team will be in New York next month.
  • Any quarterback from Oklahoma.

TOKEN RUNNING BACK WHO WON’T WIN

  • Kenneth Walker (Jr, Michigan State) 30 CAR, 143 YDS, 2 TD - This hype machine has been in overdrive. He might make NYC because he is not a QB and the voters have screwy criteria - like not voting Alabama players 1-2-3 like they should just because.
  • TreVeyon Henderson (Fr, anOSU) 13 CAR, 98 YDS, 2 TD - Decent numbers against Purdue but teammate Miyan Williams had 117 yards.

TOKEN NON-QB

  • Will Anderson (Soph, Alabama) leads the nation in sacks with 12.5 (2.5 more than the next closest) and in TFL with has 23.0 (leads by 4.0). “The Terminator” is tops on the Crimson Tide in solo tackles with 36.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

Name TD INT RATIO
Bryce Young ALA 33 3 11.0
Matt Corral MISS 17 2 8.5
Kenny Pickett PITT 32 4 8.0
Bailey Zappe WKU 42 7 6.0
C.J. Stroud OSU 30 5 6.0
Devin Leary NCST 29 5 5.8
Carson Strong NEV 28 7 4.0
Sam Hartman WAKE 30 8 3.8
Tanner Mordecai SMU 37 10 3.7
Will Rogers MSST 29 8 3.6

No player has really been mind-blowing outstanding in this weird topsy-turvy season. Thus, it’s important to turn to value of a player and consistent performances. As you can see above, Young blows the competition away in touchdown-to-interception ratio.

If I had a vote, trying to be unbiased towards Bama:

  1. BY (@sorry, CT@)
  2. Pickett
  3. Will A.
  4. Stroud

THE SICK REPORT

  • UNC quarterback Sam Howell has the dreaded “upper body injury” and could miss the Heels cupcake game with Wofford.
  • Wisconsin starting running back Chez Mellusi will miss the rest of the season because of a leg injury. He was responsible for 815 rushing yards and five scores. Adjust your betting addictions accordingly.
  • As if things aren’t bad enough for Texas, the ‘Horns will be without Mr. Wonderful Bijan Robinson (dislocated elbow) and starting cornerback Josh Thompson (broken leg). This likely means Alabama quitter transfer Keilan Robinson (27 carr, 194 yds, 2 TD) might get a little more action.

POLICE BLOTTER

  • Starting UGA linebacker Adam Anderson has formally been charged with felony rape of a 21-year old woman. He voluntarily turned himself into police last Wednesday. There are not many scenarios in which the senior reunites with his team.

REALIGNMENT FEVER!

  • In a surprising turn of events, Western Kentucky and Middle Tennessee will not be joining the MAC. Conflicting reports on the four-letter dot com have not confirmed who broke off the engagement.

DRAMA

  • The first and hopefully only victim of Captain Trips this year struck as the Southern Cal game against Cal was postponed due to cases among Golden Bears. I guess the PAC isn’t doing the forfeit thing like the rest of us. Across the nation this season, there have been very very few reports of any players missing games due to positives. Yet, the city of Berkeley who mandated the tests claimed the team had roughly two dozen test positive during the week. The Bears, who reported a 99% vaccination rate among players, lost to godawful Arizona last week due to a depleted roster. Those players out included starting QB and team captain Chase Garbers who voiced his frustrations with the University. The game is reschedule for December 4 - a day after the conference title game.
  • Texas wide receiver Joshua Moore is off the team and into the Quitter Hole. According to reports, Steve Sarkisian and Moore had a heated confrontation that also involved more of the coaching staff during a practice. The former high 4-star had only 265 receiving yards and three scores in eight games this season. Sark shoulda cleaned house before the season started.

KOACHES KORNER

  • Could Sarkisian already be on the hot seat in Austin? I am not the kind of person who would want to give Tejas any good advice but these butthole fans need to STFU and be patient. Not to pretend that Sark is Nick Saban, but they should know that Saban’s first Alabama team fell to UL-Monroe at home and lost their last four regular season games of the year.
  • Washington was looking for an excuse to fire Jimmy Lake when they suspended him this last week for swatting the facemask of a player who was acting like an a-hole. The future Bama DC (pleasepleaseplease) had gone 3-1 and 4-5 while trying to rebuild a slumping program. Not a terrible performance considering his predecessor Chris Petersen went 8-6 and 7-6 in his first two seasons in Seattle. Lake was terminated without cause, meaning UW will owe his full buyout of $9.9 million, paid in monthly installments through January 2025, when his contract expires. Oddly enough, the Apple Cup played between the Huskies and Wazzu will be coached by two interim coaches.
  • The Justin Fuente experiment in Blacksburg is over. He was 43-31 (28-20) and 1-3 in bowl games in six seasons for Virginia Tech. His Hokies are currently 5-5 (3-3) and 10-11 over the last two campaigns.
  • Did you know Butch Davis was still around? The FIU head coach has informed the coaching staff that he will not be back next year, although it’s unclear whether he will coach the Panthers’ (1-9) final two games against North Texas and Southern Miss. Davis is 24-30 in five seasons in southern region of the wang state. From 1995-2000, he spent six successful seasons at Miami-FL. Late in 2000, rumors had it that he had a handshake agreement to become head coach at Alabama, but rumors of the NCAA trouble scared him off. Ironically after an ill-fated stint with the Cleveland Browns, he landed at UNC where he would be ousted four years later in scandal and controversy. Davis turns 70 years old tomorrow.
  • Blake James is out as athletic director at Miami-FLA, two days after the Hurricanes’ football lost at Florida State. Could Manny Diaz be next? Canes basketball has not had a winning season since 2017-18.
  • Texas Tech hired Baylor associate coach Joey McGuire as head football coach. Five years ago, McGuire was coaching high school football in Texas. He joined Matt Rhule’s staff at Baylor in 2017 and was a top candidate to replace him after Rhule left for the Carolina Panthers. McGuire remained on staff under Baylor coach Dave Aranda.
  • UConn has hired former UCLA and Atlanta Falcons coach Jim Mora Jr. to be their next football coach. After being fired by the Bruins following the 2017 season, Mora returned to broadcasting, covering mostly west coast games. The Huskies sat out 2020 because of you-know-what and currently stand at 1-8 with the lone win being a 6-point squeaker against Yale. Connie have not had a winning season since 2010.
  • Jimbo Fisher quelled LSU rumors this week by stating “So, I’m the dumbest human being on God’s earth to recruit all these guys to A&M so I can go across over there [to LSU] and go play against them.” He continued: “I want to be at A&M. I plan on being at A&M. I ain’t going nowhere and don’t want to be nowhere else. I love being right here.” He then asked reporters, “Is that clear enough?” Were his double-negatives intentional? lol
  • Ed Orgeron is 9-11 since the end of the 2019 season, but he leads the SEC in moral victories. Nick Saban also has 11 losses... over the last nine seasons.
  • Urban Meyer went to a Hemophilia hospital to secretly put “KICK ME” signs on the backs of all the patients.
  • Fat F*** Phil Fulmer came home crying in horror after going to church and hearing the preacher talk about the “Last Supper”.

Black and White TV

TEEVEE

Last week, it was mentioned in this space that SEC Network play-by-play guy Taylor Zarzour was an Alabama native (grew up in Mobile, attended Huntingdon College-Montgomery), thinking maybe there was some Alabama pride here. However after listening to him on SEC This Morning on the SECN, he sure sounds like a Barner. He talked down about Alabama and UGA QB Stetson Bennett, but gushed about Auburn’s Bo Nix. Only an Aubie does that.

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big FAU-WKU showdown, you can find the details here.)

** !! ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS TIL THE POST-SEASON !! **

Tuesday, November 16

Three random MAC-endous games.

Wednesday, November 17

Two random MAC-rific games.

Thursday, November 18

Louisville at Duke 6:30/7:30 ESPN - No, not a bouncey-ball game.

Friday, November 19

Southern Miss at Louisiana Tech 6pm/7pm CBSSN
Air Force at Nevada 8pm/9pm FS1
Memphis at Houston 8pm/9pm ESPN2
Arizona at Washington State 8pm/9pm PAC12
Stay Classy San Diego State at UNLV 9:30/10:30 CBSSN

Saturday, November 13

ELIMINATION SATURDAY

Michigan State at Ohio State 11am/noon ABC - Loser is gone.
Iowa State at Oklahoma 11am/noon FOX - Can ISU put the Sooners away for good?
Wake Forest at Clemson 11am/noon ESPN
SMU at Cincinnati 2:30/3:30 ESPN - The Methodists are not as good as their 8-2 record lets on.
Oregon at Utah 6:30/7:30 ABC - Beware the Utes at home.

SEC

Charleston Southern at Georgia 11am/noon SECN+ - JT Daniels and godawful Carson Beck should get some extensive PT.
Prairie View A&M at Texas A&M 11am/noon SECN+ - Might Zach Calzada complete more than 60% of his passes for only the second time this season (too soon?)?
New Mexico State at Kentucky 11am/noon SECN - Bama loosened up that pickle jar for the ‘Cats.
Tennessee State at Mississippi State 11am/noon SECN+ - Does Clanga clang even have a back-up QB? Tune in to find out.
Florida at Missouri 3pm/4pm SECN - Lose this one and Mullen should just buy a house in the Ozarks and raise chickens or meth or something.
Auburn at South Carolina 6pm/7pm ESPN - Will Aubie have a hangover?
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss 6:30/7:30 SECN - Expect Kiffin to run up the score and attempt to inflate Corral’s stats.
South Alabama at Tennessee 6:30/7:30 ESPNU - On Saturday, we are ALL Jags fans.
UL Monroe at LSU 8pm/9pm ESPN2 - Two more games and we are done with this classless Cajun sack of ****.

OTHERS ON SATURDAY

Texas at West Virginia 11am/noon ESPN2 - Maybe a little schadenfreude?
UCLA at Southern Cal 3pm/4pm FOX - This rivalry game has lost a little luster.

SLEEPY TIME

Colorado State at Hawaii 9pm/10pm Jefferson Pilot-West

SABAN vs. MACK, POP & BEAR

  • As head coach at Alabama, Nick Saban has never lost to Arkansas.
  • Loki just couldn’t leave the Crimson Tide alone. Could he? Saban told the media on Monday that “Roydell (Williams) is going to be out; he needs knee surgery. JoJo (Earle) does not need surgery, but he be out probably for a little bit of time as well. Those two guys are probably not going to be able to play - Roydell for a while, JoJo for maybe a week or two.”
  • The injury to Williams leaves Alabama with two healthy scholarship running backs in starter Brian Robinson and Trey Sanders. Against NMSU, freshman receiver Christian Leary and sophomore linebacker Demouy Kennedy had a few carries. Leary looked like a quick shifty change-of-pace runner and had some success (3 rush, 22 yds), but he is a bit undersized at 5’10”/175. In high school Leary lined up at multiple positions, even taking direct snaps behind center out of the Wildcat formation. Kennedy also helped his high school team as a part time running back and wildcat quarterback but struggled a bit on Saturday (7-16).

#ALABAMA

  • Bryce Young is the first player in Alabama history to throw five touchdown passes in a single half.
  • WR Jameson Williams has been named one of ten semifinalist for the Biletnikoff Award.
  • Brian Robinson leads the SEC with 14 rushing touchdowns.
  • 13 true freshmen saw the field in Bama’s win over New Mexico State: Kool-Aid McKinstry, Jojo Earle, Christian Leary, Dallas Turner, Jalen Milroe, Devonta Smith, Robbie Ouzts, Kneeland Hibbett, JC Latham, Terrence Ferguson, Ja’corey Brooks, Agiye Hall, and Monkell Goodwine.
  • LB Drew Sanders saw game action but did not start.
  • Bama WR Xavier Williams has entered the transfer portal. He has not played this season due to medical issues. Last August, Saban told reporters “without saying what, he’s medically not going to play this year.” 2021 is his fourth season on the team. He has a ring and has likely graduated. Good luck, young man.
  • Alabama-Auburn will kickoff at 2:30 CT/3:30 ET and air on (sigh) CBS.

GAME 11: Saturday, November 20, 2021

Arkansas Razorbacks (7-3) at Alabama Crimson Tide (9-1)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 2:30/3:30 CBS

  • It’s Senior Day at Alabama. Outside of the two Tide Super-seniors, Brian Robinson and Chris Owens, plus a few walk-ons, it is a mystery who else will be honored.
  • Alabama can lock up the SEC West with a win on Saturday.
  • Weather in Tuscaloosa on Saturday is calling for partly sunny skies with a high of 61°.
  • Announcers: Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson (so sorry) with Jamie Erdahl.
  • Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
  • The Crimson Tide have a 24-7 all-time edge over the Razorbacks. The last time Bama was victimized by the Hogs, a guy name Shula was in charge at the Capstone.
  • The line on this game is around Bama -20½. Over/Under is roughly 56½.

Poll

Sark at Texas?

This poll is closed

  • 13%
    He is not a good Power-5 head coach.
    (90 votes)
  • 12%
    It’s just a bad fit, that’s all.
    (86 votes)
  • 74%
    UT needs to STFU, be patient, and give Sark time.
    (507 votes)
683 votes total Vote Now