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College football news: all the scores, injuries, gaffes, upsets, derps, and snark that you can handle.

“Quit worrying about the result and let’s just go have fun.” ~ Nick Saban

Are you having fun yet? This past weekend is why we watch college football and why it is a far superior viewing experience than the NFL. It was Rivalry Saturday and it did not disappoint. Across the nation, win-loss records were thrown out the window and the hate flowed like a river. And there was some REAL hate.

A wacky weird year just got wackier. Remember all the complaints of the sAmE oL’ tEamS in the playoff every year? Well, here we are at the end of November and what do we have? No Clemson, no Ohio State, no Oklahoma, and perhaps no Alabama [FLAGGED]. Some observers seem to think if Bama has a close loss in the SECCG that they will still get it. If the playoff had been expanded this year, the Tide would have gotten in regardless of what the outcome is. And so would have Ohio State and Oklahoma. So, let that sink in a minute.

LITTLE BROTHERS STRIKE BACK

Michigan 42 Ohio State 27 - On a cold snowy day in Ann Arbor, the Wolvies halted an eight game skid to their hated rival. The big story was the physicality and the defiance of Michigan. They would not be pushed around by their bully any more. The Buckeyes briefly led 10-7 and trailed by one at the half. UM came out of the locker room with their heads on fire and scored two third quarter touchdowns to propel ahead 28-13 and stayed ahead. Hassan Haskins matched a school record with five rushing touchdowns to go with 169 yards on the ground. Ohio QB CJ Stroud did not look good as his team committed 10 penalties, many before the snap and managed only 64 rushing yards. Jim Harbaugh is now 1-6 versus anOSU.

Oklahoma State 37 Oklahoma 33 - Bedlam finally lived up to its name after years of one-sided victories for the Sooners. The first half saw the two teams vie neck-and-neck with three tied scores. Okie surged ahead after a safety and a muffed punt TD gave them a quick 33-24 lead just minutes into the second half. The Cowpokes would miss a field goal and throw an interception on their next two possessions but the Sooners could not capitalize. Soon enough, OSU would score two touchdowns to take the lead.

Oklahoma got the ball one last time at its 20-yard line with 54 seconds remaining and no timeouts. Kirk Herstreit’s “Face of the Sport” Caleb Williams scrambled and ran 56 yards to put the Sooners in scoring range at the 24. But he would throw three incompletions and get sacked on fourth down to end the game.

Alabama 24 Auburn 22 (4 OT) - Now that we have had time to digest this game, the significance of this victory should not be brushed aside as just another iron Bowl win. This Crimson Tide team was dead and gone. GONE! A loss on Saturday could have been devastating to Bama on so many levels that go beyond this season. By the end of the day, the Crimson Tide’s performance was the talk of the sports world and the lead story on every highlight show. The President of the United States could have gotten pulled over for a DUI and people would still be talking about this improbable amazing comeback.

[ED.NOTE: I still think this overtime format is a stupid way to decide a game.]

ESS-EE-SEE

Ole Miss 31 Mississippi State 21 - Trailing 10-6 just before the half, the Bullies dropped three straight wide-open touchdown passes and then missed a 33 yard field goal. Yep, it’s the Egg Bowl. Something weird or wacky or ugly (usually ugly) goes on in this game that makes it annual must-see TV. The Rebs would jump ahead 24-6. As they are wont to do, MSU put together a late push scoring two late touchdowns but it was not enough.

Ole Miss’ ten regular season victories ties for the most in program history, a feat accomplished seven times before.

LSU 27 Texas A&M 24 - TAMU came back from a ten-point fourth quarter deficit to take the lead, but feeling charitable to that poor Cajun-ogre-toad, Jimbo handed him the win as the Tigers scored with 20 ticks left so LSU could go to a bowl.

Arkansas 34 Missouri 17 - The Razorbacks mostly dominated. KJ Jefferson became the second Hog to throw for 2,000 yards and gain 500 in a season. Matt Jones (2004) is the other. Mizzou’s Tyler Badie gained 219 rushing yards on a sadomasochist 41 attempts. However, a good chunk of it came after Arky built a big lead and softened their defense. The Tigers had a grand total of 316 yards as a team. Connor Bazelak was awful 10-26, 65 YDS, 1 INT.

Tennessee destroyed Vanderbilt 45-21, but I though it best to show this highlight ^^^.

SEC VS ACC CHALLENGE

Losing to Alabama or Georgia or whoever else in the SEC is never enjoyable. Losing to the an ACC foe is flat out unacceptable.

Florida 24 Florida State 21 - With Dan Mullen far far away from the Swamp, the Gators managed to salvage their season with an ugly derpfest win over their hated rival - no thanks to Emory Jones. The UF quarterback got the start and tossed three interceptions before getting the hook. Anthony Richardson took over in the second half and led the Gators to 17 straight points and a 24-7 advantage. FSU would come back with two late scores but it wasn’t enough.

This game had five interceptions, six fumbles of which one was lost, 22 penalties, 14 TFLs, 5 sacks, 11 punts, a muffed punt, and a whiff on an onside kick. Ugh.

Kentucky 52 Louisville 21 - When this UK team is clicking, they are dynamite. Unfortunately for them, consistency is an issue. But not on this night. Loopy quarterback Will Levis gained 114 yards on the gorund with four scores. Chris Rodriguez added another 121 and a TD to rout their in-state rivals.

Georgia 45 Georgia Tech 0 - UGA recorded their third shutout this season. Their ELITE defense allowed 6.9 ppg this year, fewest since the 1986 Sooners. The largest offensive output by an opponent was 17 points by Tennessee. The Yeller Jackets have won three games in each of the last three seasons under Geoff Collins. Frankly, I am shocked they haven’t canned him.

Clemson 30 South Carolina 0 - SCar just couldn’t cooperate with the rest of the conference. The Gamecocks gained only 206 yards and 72 of them were on the final drive against the Tigers scrubs. Zeb Noland came on late in the third quarter after the third-stringer-to-starter Jason Brown threw a pair of interceptions. Zeb actually moved the ball somewhat but couldn’t finish the drives. I am not sure why he didn’t start. Even with the win, D.J. Uiagalelei had an ugly stat line: 9-19, 99 YDS, 0 TD, 1 INT

OTHER STUFF

NC State 34 North Carolina 30- The Wolfpack made a comeback for the ages. After UNC kicked a 50-yard field goal to take a nine point lead with 2:12 remaining, the Heels kicked off away from the Wolfpack’s best returner but the other guy set NCSU up at the 44 yard line. Two plays later, State connected for a touchdown. The ‘Pack recovered the on-side kick and scored again for two TDs in less than a minute. UNC still had a minute to operate with and got down to the 30 yard line but Sam Howell threw a pick to end the game.

Washington State 40 Washington 13 - Wazzu won the Apple Cup for the first time since 2012. UW finished 0-3 in winnable games (Az St, @Colo, WSU) since unjustly firing Jimmy Lake, causing them to miss out on the post-season with a 4-8 record.

Baylor barely survives at home against 6-6 Texas Tech with an interim head coach. That does not bode well for their impending appearance in the B12CG.

Iowa 28 Nebraska 21 - Just as they have all year, the Hawkeyes barely win.
Texas 22 Kansas State 17 - Sark salvages a disastrous first season in Austin with a win over a decent team. The ‘Horns finish 5-7.
Notre Dame 45 Stanford 14 - Stanford loses seven straight after upsetting Oregon. David Shaw’s last three teams have gone 4-8, 4-2, 3-9.

THE CINCINNATI DILEMMA

I accidentally left the volume on while someone on the four-letter brought in overpaid dipstick Heather Dinich to hear her idiotic opinions. This massive forehead said regarding Bama’s playoff hopes that “Alabama has not looked impressive.” HELLO! Did she NOT see Cincinnati’s eight point win over Tulsa? Seven point win over Navy?? At best, the Bearcats would have gone 9-3 with a SEC West schedule this year. What is the bleep is going on here? Why is everyone so intent on getting this undeserved team in the playoff?

Tulsa 34 SMU 31 - Cincy’s supposed second best resume builder in SMU lost this one at home to a really blah team. The Mustangs (8-4) have lost four of their last five after starting 7-0.

Houston 45 UConn 17 - The Cougars tune up.

DOUBLE MUFF

At the exact same spot in the field.

WORST KICK OF THE WEEK

STRIKE ONE!

“ILLEGALEST” KICK OF THE WEEK

I know you are a freshman but you can’t do that, bro.

UGLIEST UNIFORMS (TIE)

Oregon State v Oregon
Oregon vs Oregon State.
Photo by Tom Hauck/Getty Images

Ugly Green 38 Ugly Orange 29

SECOND UGLIEST UNIFORMS

I guess playing in their jammies works for them.

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN

A svelte 6’1” / 270

TROLL OF THE WEEK

Explanation for you people with good taste in music, “Calling Baton Rouge” is apparently a Garth Brooks song. Okie State was playing this song implying that Lincoln Riley would leave Okie for LSU. Shoulda played Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California”.

COACH LOCKER ROOM DANCE OF THE WEEK

Don’t break our GOAT!

IT’S BEEN A LONG YEAR FOR SO CAL

BYU 35 Southern Cal 31 - The Trojans are an appalling 4-7 with a sad make-up game with Cal yet to play.

MEANWHILE UP NORTH...

Michigan State 30 Penn State 27 - The Litany Nylons finish 7-5 and James Franklin gets a big raise. What is going on here?

KID BROTHER IS GOING BOWLING

Taulia Tagovailoa (21-30, 312 YDS, 3 TD, RUSH TD) feasted on the Rutgers defense in a 40-16 curb stomp. In the process, he broke the Terps’ single-season passing record (3,595 pass yards). The Turtles (6-6) get back to the postseason for the first time since 2016.

STATS OF THE WEEK

  • John Metchie’s 13 receptions ties the Iron Bowl record, set by Alabama’s Amari Cooper in 2014.
  • ISU running back Breece Hall extends his streak of games with a rushing touchdown to 24.
  • BYU once again dominated the PAC-12. The Mormons went 5-0 against the moribund conference by defeating Arizona, Utah, Arizona State, Washington State, and Southern Cal.
  • Georgia Tech lost their last two games by a combined score of 100-0 (Notre Dame and UGA).
  • Air Force had 13 different players attempt a rush against UNLV.

NAME OF THE WEEK

  • UNC DB Storm Duck

RECRUIT NAME OF THE WEEK

  • 3-star OT Ryqueze McElderry looks like he will commit to UGA for the 2023 class.

TALKING HEAD CLOWN OF THE WEEK

Of course the chicken-s**t deleted it. Go back to covering the NFL.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

  • UT-Martin (10-2) - The Skyhawks edged Missouri State 32-31 for UTM’s first FCS playoff win ever. Playing on the road, the ‘Hawks scored a touchdown with 3:36 left and stopped Mo State with a late interception. Next is a tough but winnable one against eighth-seeded Montana State in the second round.
  • UTSA (11-1) Whoopy-daisy. There goes the Roadrunners’ perfect season with a total faceplant loss to North Texas 45-23. UTSA scored 10 late garbage points to make it look closer than it was. Meanwhile, every Las Vegas bookie just bought another ski chalet in Vail. North Texas moves to 6-6. The ‘Runners host the C-USA championship game Friday night against Western Kentucky.
  • UCLA (8-4) - The Bruins destroyed Cal 42-14. It is their first 8 win season since 2015. Waiting on a bowl invite.

COUSINS

  • Troy (5-7) - With head coach Chip Lindsey fired, the Trojans listlessly fell to Georgia State 37-10. GSU (7-5) is bowl eligible for the third-straight year.
  • South Alabama (5-7) - The Jags led 21-14 but gave up a game-tying score with 39 ticks to go. Coastal Carolina scored a TD in overtime but missed the PAT. Alas, USA could not score in their half of the extra frame to lose 27-21. Despite the final record, South Ally made some good strides this season. Anything less than 6-6 in 2022 will be a failure.
  • Alabama State devoured Tuskegee 43-9 in the Turkey Day Classic.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO DOESN’T BRING ANYTHING TO THANKSGIVING AND TAKES A TO-GO PLATE

  • UAB (8-4) - The Dragons topped UTEP 42-25. They await a bowl invitation.

[Somebody go check on Bill Clark’s phone to see why it’s not receiving incoming calls.]

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

NCAA Football: Army at Air Force
I believe I can fly!
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

A banner weekend for the three service academies.

  • Army (8-3) - The Black Knights cracked Liberty’s bell 31-16 in Lynchburg. Next, it’s Army-Navy on Dec 11!
  • Navy (3-8) - The Midshipmen shirleyed Temple 38-14. Next ^^^
  • Air Force (9-3) - The Falcons bludgeoned UNLV 48-14 without a single pass attempt for the entire game. AFA finished tied atop the conference’s Mountain Division standings with Utah State but lost to the Aggies by four points in September. Thus, they will have to settle for a bowl game instead of the MWCCG.
boxers

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Premature elimination: None.

Definite elimination: Duke, Georgia Tech, Louisville, FSU, NC State, Syracuse, Clemson, UNC, Virginia, Pitt, Boston College, Miami, Virginia Tech, Kansas, Iowa State, Texas Tech, Kansas State, TCU, West Virginia, Texas Tech, Texas, Baylor, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana, Northwestern, Rutgers, Minnie, Wisky, Purdue, Maryland, Iowa, Penn State, Cal, Oregon State, Arizona, Arizona State, Stanford, Colorado, Southern Cal, Utah, UCLA, Washington State, Washington, Mizzou, Vandy, Tennessee, South Carolina, Missy State, LSU, Texas A&M, Arky, Kentucky, Auburn, Florida, BYU, Ole Miss, Michigan State, Wake Forest, Oregon. NEW: Oklahoma.

??? Ohio State, are the Buckys completely out?

Endangered: Michigan, Oklahoma State, Alabama, Notre Dame, Cincy. NEW: None.

Not endangered: UGA.

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

  • ACC - Nope.
  • Big 12 - Whoda thunk Oklahoma State would be the last hope of the B12? But they aren’t in yet. They could easily lose to Baylor (10-2) in the B12CG.
  • Big Ten - This year has been so unpredictable that I am not ready to say anOSU is completely out of it. Michigan only needs to beat Iowa (10-2).
  • PAC-12 - nope.
  • SEC - UGA vs Alabama. They could both still get in.
  • Indies - What will become of #6 Notre Dame? If there are some losses to other teams, would the Committee put the Irish in the CFP with an interim coach?
  • Non-Power 5 - The love for Cincinnati baffles me.
  • Chaos Theory - What if Oklahoma State, Cincy, and Michigan all lose?

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The fifth CFP Committee rankings will be announced tonight on ESPN at 6pm CT/7pm ET. Since its 2014 inception, the CFPC has had a pretty strong reputation for picking the four best teams and not going with what is trending on social media or what bozos on the four letter pound the desk over. However, their inclusion of Cincinnati with their questionable schedule (and struggle wins over those opponents) was a huge mistake. It is the first time in the short history of the CFP that the committee pushed the eye test aside and caved to the rage mob and the blithering TV idiots.

My picks:

  1. Georgia
  2. Alabama
  3. Michigan
  4. Okie State (can’t call them Okie Lite again until/when they lose)

** Give us your top 4 or top 6 or top whatevs in comments. **

LET’S GO BOWLING!

CONFERENCE BOWL TEAMS
SEC 13
ACC 10
B1G 9
MWC 8
MAC 8
C-USA 8
12 7
AAC 7
PAC 6
SBC 4

  • Every SEC team aside of pseudo-SEC Vanderbilt is bowl eligible this year. Ch-ching $EC!
  • LSU and Florida are now among 84 teams eligible for one of 41 bowl games. Two of those 84 programs are going to be left out of bowl season. My money is one of them being Old Dominion who amazingly made it to 6-6 somehow. They don’t have the cachet or fanbase that will make them attractive. I feel so bad. Who is going to break it to them?
  • Due to the unlikelihood of fans traveling to the mainland, Hawaii might be on the bubble as well. Other 6-6 non-Power 5 teams are Tulsa, Memphis, North Texas, MTSU, Miami (OH), Ball State, and Wyoming.
  • East Carolina is one of the first teams to accept an invitation. They will be heading to the Military Bowl.

SEC BOWL TIE-INS (with CBS predictions among teams not in the CFP running)

Dec 17 Cure/Orlando: Pool vs. Pool (Fla-App St)
Dec 27 Detroit Big Ten* vs. MAC (Miz-Toledo)
Dec 28 Birmingham: ACC/SEC vs. Pool (WMU-LSU)
Dec 28 Liberty: Big 12 vs. SEC (TexTech-Aub)
Dec 30 Music City: Big Ten vs. SEC (Minn-Tenn)
Dec 30 Duke’s Mayo: ACC vs. Big Ten* (UVa-SCar)
Dec 30 Peach: at-large vs. at-large (assigned by CFPC) (OM-Pitt)
Dec 31 Gator: Big Ten vs. SEC (Wake-Ark)
Dec 31 Cotton: CFP Semifinal (assigned by CFPC) (TBD)
Dec 31 Orange: CFP Semifinal (assigned by CFPC) (TBD)
Jan 1 Sugar: SEC vs. Big 12 (assigned by CFPC) (TBD)
Jan 1 Rose: Big Ten vs. Pac-12 (assigned by CFPC) (anOSU-Ore)
Jan 1 Fiesta: at-large vs. at-large (assigned by CFPC) (Sparty-ND)
Jan 1 Citrus: Big Ten vs. SEC (Iowa-TAMU)
Jan 1 Outback: Big Ten vs. SEC (Wisc-UK)
Jan 4 Texas: Big 12 vs. SEC (KSU-MissSt)

*Could not fill allotment.

LET’S GO BLOWING!

  • For the first time ever in the history of college football, Florida State, Texas, Nebraska, and Southern Cal all finish a season with losing records.
  • Arizona, FIU, UMass, and UConn disgracefully finish the season 1-11. Zona would have been 0-12 had half of Cal’s team not been out sick.
  • Indiana, Duke, and Vandy are the only Power-5 teams to not win a conference game in 2021. Stick to orange or white balls.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to the same ding-dong-dang commercials during every football games. So sick of Jake from State Farm. I just want to punch that guy in the face but it might cause a bunch of white skater boys to burn down cities across the northwest and far north midwest. I know a lot of you like that AT&T girl, but that creepy jumbotron ad with her saying “America!” just gives me the willies. Whatever happened to funny commercials like “Dilly Dilly” and “W’SUUUUP?

HEISMAN HYPE

Most years, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. Of course there are exceptions.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the press have been hyping.

LEADERS

A weird year continues to get weirder. Last week, Stroud and Young both had crazy big numbers, but Stroud was getting more love for the beatdown of an overrated Sparty team. This week, both quarterbacks struggled. The only difference is one of them came out a winner and heads to a conference championship game. The other makes plans for the Consolation Bowl.

  1. QB Bryce Young (Soph, Alabama) 25-51, 317 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT, 7 SACKS - It wasn’t the greatest of games but if voters need a “Heisman moment” box to check, that last drive and overtime fills that criteria. He might be taking the lead. The SECCG will likely decided this thing.
  2. QB CJ Stroud (Soph, anOSU) 34-49, 394 YDS, 2 TD, 4 SACKS, 2 FUMBLES RECOV BY OSU - Only one touchdown to his trio of hyped-up wide receivers. Down 8 points in the fourth, he produced only one first down in his final two possessions.

UNDESERVING CONTENDER

  • QB Desmond Ridder (Sr, Cincinnati) 17-28, 301 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT, 2 SACKS - Just a reminder: this was against East Carolina. Not North Carolina, not South Carolina. EAST fkn Carolina.

COULD GET SOME VOTES

  • QB Kenny Pickett (Super-Sr, Pitt) 28-38, 209 YDS, 4 TD, 1 INT vs Syracuse
  • QB Will Rogers (Soph, Miss. State) 38-58, 336 YDS, 1 TD - Only one touchdown?
  • QB Matt Corral (RS-Jr, Ole Miss) 26-34, 234 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT

TOKEN RUNNING BACK WHO WON’T WIN

  • Kenneth Walker (Jr, Michigan State) 30 CAR, 138 YDS, 1 TD - Now off to a mediocre overdrafted NFL career.
  • TreVeyon Henderson (Fr, anOSU) 17 CAR, 74 YDS, 1 TD - See ya next year, Champ.

TOKEN NON-QB

The Terminator is actually getting some traction. Don’t be surprised if he makes it to New York City.

Will Anderson (Only a Soph, Alabama) leads the nation in sacks with 14.5 and in TFL with has 29.5 - 7.5 more than the next closest player. “The Terminator” is tops on the Crimson Tide in solo tackles with 50 and QB hurries with 8.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

If I had a vote, trying to be unbiased towards Bama:

  1. BY
  2. Will A.
  3. Pickett
  4. Stroud

THE SICK REPORT

  • Georgia starting left tackle Jamaree Salyer is managing a foot injury, and it is unknown if he will dress for the SEC Championship.
  • UGA WR Kearis Jackson is dealing with a rib injury, and it is undetermined if he will face Alabama either. Jackson has played in all 12 games compiling 13 grabs for 174 yards and 1 TD.

DRAMA

  • Prepare thyselves: Thine Quitter Hole combustion is nigh.
  • Alabama offensive lineman Pierce Quick and linebacker Jackson Bratton have both announced their intentions to hit the road.
  • Alabama looked long and hard at 4-star running back Jahmyr Gibbs during the 2020 recruiting cycle but chose to go another way. After two years at Georgia Tech, he has had enough and is making himself available to other teams. He had 746 yards rushing with 4 TDs and 465 yards receiving with another 2 scores this year. The true sophomore also returned kickoffs, taking one to the house against Boston College. Bama could be interested.
  • Okie QB Spencer Rattler is officially on the market. The former Sooners starter began the season as the Heisman favorite.
  • Former Bama safety Eddie Smith transferred to Illinois and is again looking for a new home.
  • Former UCF starting QB Dillon Gabriel is up for grabs. Or is it Gabriel Dillon?
  • Ohio State QB Jack Miller saw the writing on the Ohio State wall and will be catching the first bus out of town.
  • I try not to get political but there is some B.S. going on out in Berkeley and the football players are being used as pawns. It is very unfortunate and unfair.

KOACHES KORNER

POWER 5 JOB OPENINGS: FLA, SO CAL, LSU, VA TECH, TCU, WASH, WAZZU, OKLAHOMA, NOTRE DAME - the madness!

After losing Bedlam, Lincoln Riley empathically stated: “I’m not going to be the next coach at LSU.” That’s because... he is heading to Southern Cal. He will certainly get the Trojans back to winning the conference asap and losing in the first round of the playoff. The 38-year old only lasted five years as head coach in Norman. He went 12-2 in each of his first three season with B12 titles. Last year he was 9-2 and this year stands at 10-2, both with runner-up statuses in the conference.

Riley was hired by Bob Stoops to be the offensive coordinator for the Sooners in January 2015. He took over for the retiring Stoops in 2017. Here are his recruited quarterback:

2016 Austin Kendall 4-star #190 overall - transferred to West Virginia.
2017 Chris Robison 4-star #172 overall - transferred to FAU!
2018 Tanner Mordecai 4-star #249 overall - transferred to SMU.
2019 Spencer Rattler 5-star #11 overall - currently in the transfer portal.
2020 Chandler Morris 3-star #448 overall - transferred to TCU.
2021 Caleb Williams 5-star #11 overall - flashed for a minute and dissipated into mediocrity.
2022 no commitment

carousel
  • After striking out on Riley, LSU made the a shocking move to hire Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly as its next head football coach. He is rumored to be getting a ridiculous $9.5M/10 years. The 60-year old was 113-40 in 12 years in South Bend. He won the ACC in their only season in the league last year. He is 0-2 versus Nick Saban. Kelly’s exit from South Bend is quite bizarre. His Notre Dame team stands at #6. Ohio State will surely drop. Even if Oklahoma State catapults the Irish, the worst they will be is staying at 6. All they would need is for two teams to lose this week for them to get in the playoff. Does he have no faith in his team? Is he just being greedy? This is who LSU is getting.
  • Could Urban Meyer or Luke Fickell be Kelly’s replacement?
  • Billy Napier bided his time, passing up jobs such as South Carolina and Auburn, and now he lands in Gainesville as head coach of the Gators. After an opening 7-7 campaign in 2018 at ULL, he tallied 32 wins against 5 losses in the last three. He is also a pretty good recruiter (Cam Robinson, Calvin Ridley, Jerry Jeudy, Trevon Diggs, Tajh Boyd).
  • Fresno’s Kalen DeBoer was named the next head coach at Washington on Monday. He was 3–3 and 9–3 in two seasons as HC.
  • Jerry Kill, 60, takes over New Mexico State. Kill had some good success at Minnesota but had to step down midseason in 2015 due to health concerns.
  • SMU coach Sonny Dykes will now lead TCU. After Cal foolishy fired him following the 2016 season, he cashed his paychecks while working as an analyst for the Horned Frogs for one year. He then took over at SMU and led them to 30–18 and 18–13 in the AAC over five seasons.
  • Rhett Lashlee leaves Miami as offensive coordinator to take over the head job at SMU. He was the Mustangs’ OC from 2018-2019 under Dykes. The former Arkansas QB also served as OC at Auburn 2013–2016 among other stops.
  • Mark Stoops told a Kentucky radio station Saturday: “I absolutely plan on being here. I’m going to work tomorrow. I’m on my way home. My butt’s going to get in bed and I’m going to be at my office tomorrow and I’m going to hit the pavement this week to get us some players.”
  • ESPN reports that Jacksonville State is set to hire UL Monroe offensive coordinator Rich Rodriguez as their next head football coach. The former West Virginia, Michigan, and Arizona coach famously turned down an opportunity to coach Alabama which led to the Tide moving on to @Plan B@. JSU moves to the FBS beginning in 2023 and will join Conference USA.
  • Texas Tech OC Sonny Cumbie will be the new head coach at Louisiana Tech. Not counting the last four weeks as the Red Raiders’ interim head coach (1-3), he has never been a head coach at any level.
  • Virginia Tech has tweeted the hiring of Penn State DC Brent Pry as the new head coach. He has never been a head coach at any level either. Judging by the Twitter replies, only Penn State fans seem to know who this guy is.
  • This is Dan Mullen’s farewell speech. No thanks to all the great people he met, who worked hard for his program. No REAL thanks to the fans other than a “Gator Nation” mention at the end of the list of people who canned him. He goes on to try and wedge into his resume the National Championships from 13 and 15 years ago when he was an Urban Meyer assistant. Then he mentions the “young talent” on the team, i.e. the guys he recruited, so he can take credit just in case they work out in the future. And finally, a “look at what I was doing for you and you treat me this way!”, again taking credit for something that will come in the future. What a delusional narcissist.
  • Now this ^^^ is how you do it with class, Cousin Eddie. Louisiana Tech fired head coach Skip Holtz after a 3-9 campaign. It was only his second losing season in nine years in Ruston. The other losing season was in his first year. In 2019, his team went 10-3 and beat Miami in the Independence Bowl. He guided the Bulldogs to a 6-1 bowl record. This feels like one of these rash narrow-minded “we never shoulda fired him” kinda things.
  • Auburn fired OC Mike Bobo after one season in West Georgia.
  • Alabama graduate and all-around good guy David Cutcliffe is out at Duke after 4 seasons (77–97, ACC 35–79). No real surprise here. The 67-year old never recovered from the departure of Daniel Jones after the 2018 season.
  • Indiana fired offensive coordinator Nick Sheridan. Head coach Tom Allen wanted the 33-year old former Michigan QB gone so bad that he accepted a pay cut to help facilitate the move. There’s a name he can take off his Christmas card list.
  • Georgia Tech’s Geoff Collins has fired his OC, co-DC, and CB/STC. It’s a good time to be a bus axle repairman.
  • Less than 22 months on the job, Colorado head coach Karl Dorrell has turned his back on his original OC, DC, OL coach, and strength and conditioning coordinator.
  • Syracuse’s Dino Babers dumped his OC, TE/inside WR coach, and defensive line coach. Yeah, that should fix things.
  • Washington State is removing the interim label from coach Jake Dickert, a guy who nobody has ever heard of, because he went 3-2 this season and 0-2 vs ranked teams. But he beat Washington which is equally a mess.
  • UMass has hired the defensive coordinator of Arizona. Not the Cardinals. The Wildcats. The 1-11 Wildcats. Bravo.
  • Penn State gave James Franklin a big fat 10-year contract that will keep him with the Brittany Lions through the 2031 season. He will make $7.5 million per year plus incentives. His buyout starts at $12M before April 2022, then drops to $8M through Dec. 31, 2022. Can you guess what happened next? Result: LOST
  • Liberty extended Hugh Freeze’s contract through the 2028 season. He will reportedly make an average of more than $4 million. Result: LOST
  • Oregon State signed Jonathan Smith to an extension that will keep him in Corvallis through 2028. Result: LOST
  • Thanks to stupid Jimbo, Ed Orgeron finishes the season with some respectability of a 6-6 record. The now-former LSU coach was 11-11 overall and 8-10 in the SEC since the end of the 2019 season. He went 3-6 against Power-5 teams this season. Reports are saying that he will not coach the bowl game. He now returns to his favorite pastime hanging around outside of maternity stores ranking women on their yoga pants.
  • Urban Meyer donated a full turkey dinner to the Gastroparesis ward of his local hospital. His wife looked the other way.
  • Fat F*** Phil Fulmer ate Turkey for Thanksgiving. Not the food. The country.
Black and White TV

TEEVEE

It’s CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK!

THIS WEEK

(Below is a FULL list of Conference Championship Games. If you REALLY need to know about the big Southern Cal-California makeup game, you can find the details here.)

Friday, December 3

CUSACG: Western Kentucky at UTSA 6pm/7pm CBSSN
PACCG: Oregon vs Utah 7pm/8pm ABC - Played in the Giant Roomba in Las Vegas.

Saturday, December 4

Playoff Implications

* B12CG: Baylor vs Oklahoma State 11am/noon (JerryWorld) ABC - A Baylor win could knock OSU out of a playoff spot. The Cowpokes won the regular season meeting at home back on Oct. 2 by the score of 24-14.
* SECCG: Georgia vs Alabama 3pm/4pm (Atlanta) CBS - All eyes on me.
* AACCG: Houston at Cincinnati 3pm/4pm ABC - Another home game. How nice that must be.
* B1GCG: Michigan vs Iowa 7pm/8pm (Indianapolis) FOX - Can Harbaugh keep from choking?

Others Saturday

MACCG: Kent State vs Northern Illinois 11am/noon (Detroit) ESPN - yawn
MWCCG: Utah State at San Diego State 2pm/3pm FOX - nah
SBCCG: Appalachian State at La-Laf 2:30/3:30 ESPN - Could be a good one during commercials.
ACCCG: Pitt vs Wake Forest 7pm/8pm (Charlotte) ABC - Two QBs showing off for NFL scouts.

SLEEP

None... til Brooklyn.

SABAN vs. MACK, POP, BEAR... ESPN & THE NCAA

Who is this guy??? Nick Saban has been handling this team with kid gloves all year. The only time he has gotten his temper up was last week when he lashed out at the fans (and every Bama fan applauded like “Oh, he’s not talking about me. He’s talking about OTHER fans.”). It is an interesting strategy and one we have not seen before. It seems to be working. The good Lord only know what is going on in his head but it could be that the circumstances surrounding last year’s amazing season may have changed him.

Rank Name Years Wins Losses Ahead/Behind
1 Joe Paterno 46 409 136 137
2 Bobby Bowden 40 346 123 74
3 Bear Bryant 38 323 85 51
4 Pop Warner 44 319 106 47
5 Nick Saban 26 272 66 -
6 Mack Brown 32 259 132 -13
7 LaVell Edwards 29 257 101 -15
8 Tom Osborne 25 255 49 -17
9 Frank Beamer 33 238 121 -34
10 Lou Holtz 30 236 115 -36

After starting the season as the #10 team and one of the favorites to win the ACC, Mack Brown’s UNC completed the regular season at 6-6. Meanwhile, all this Saban guy did was go 11-1 in a rebuilding year and win the division in which every other team is going to a bowl game.

For you uninitiated, the above count is for FBS/DI wins only. Mack won 6 games for Appalachian State in 1983 when the Mountaineers were still in Division I-AA (now known as FCS). Frank Beamer has 42 wins as head man of Murray State, and so on. Those wins are not part of the totals. Does MLB give Brian Snitker credit for his 1,788 wins as a minor league manager? If so, that would easily put him in the top ten all-time.

Additionally, the NCAA took away five of Saban’s wins in 2007 based on 1) transgressions of previous coaches, and 2) because a few players committed the unforgivable sin of selling textbooks to other students without Saban’s knowledge. Clutch those pearls!

  • Perhaps Saban has exorcised some demons about playing in Jerdin-Hair. As the coach of Alabama, Saban now has a 4-4 record in Auburn’s stadium and is 10-5 overall against the Tigers.
  • In 1998, Saban’s Michigan State team finished 6–6 (B1G 4-4). That season, a microscopic 22 bowl games were played and Sparty was not among the participating teams. The next year, MSU went 9-2 but Saban left for LSU before the Citrus Bowl game. Since that time, Saban-led teams have never missed a bowl game. He has never coached a team to a losing record overall or in conference play spanning his 26 year college football career.

#ALABAMA

  • Saban told reporters on Sunday that Brian Robinson “has a lower-body pulled muscle. We’ll see how he progresses through the course of the week.”
  • On Jalyn Armour-Davis, who didn’t play in the Iron Bowl: “He had a little hip injury and he wasn’t full speed. We’ll see how he responds this week.”
  • Last season, Alabama finished 32nd nationally in total defense. After 12 games in 2021, the Tide is the 7th best defense in the nation. They give up 58 yards less this year than last.
  • Bryce Young is a Davey O’Brien Award finalist for best QB. Also named were Pitt’s QB Kenny Pickett and Ohio State’s CJ Stroud.
  • Young also made the final three for the Maxwell Award as best all-around college player. The other two candidates are Pickett and RB Kenneth Walker of Michigan State. Not a finalist: CJ STROUD!
  • Jameson Williams has been named a Biletnikoff Award Finalist which recognizes the college football season’s outstanding receiver at any position. Joining him in the final rouond are Jordan Addison of Pitt and David Bell of Purdue. Not a finalist: ANYONE FROM OHIO STATE!
  • The Chuck Bednarik Award for college Defensive Player of the Year is down to Will Anderson, UGA’s Jordan Davis, Kyle Hamilton of Notre Dame, and the Ducks’ Kayvon Thibodeaux.
  • Guess who is SEC Defensive Player of the Week. Yup, Will Anderson.

SECCG: Saturday, December 4, 2021

Alabama Crimson Tide (11-1) vs Georgia Bulldogs (12-0)

Bryant-Denny East, Atlanta, GA ~ 3:00/4:00 CBS

  • ESPN GameDay will be in Atlanta.
  • Weather in Atlanta outside the stadium on Saturday is calling for cloudy and a high of 68. Inside, the roof will likely be closed.
  • Announcers: Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson (last one this year, I swear!) with the excellent Jamie Erdahl.
  • Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
  • The Crimson Tide have a 41-25-4 all-time record over the Dwags. Alabama has won the last six meetings.
  • Alabama’s streak as a favorite is snapped at 92 games. Fittingly, the last time they were an underdog was also against Georgia in 2015. Despite being a 1.5 point dog, the Crimson Tide crushed the Bulldogs 38-10 in a defeat that led to Mark Richt’s eventual ouster.
  • The line on this game is around Bama +6½. Over/Under is roughly 50½.

Poll

Who got the best new coach?

This poll is closed

  • 16%
    Brian Kelly, LSU
    (118 votes)
  • 17%
    Lincoln Riley, So Cal
    (131 votes)
  • 66%
    Billy Napier, Florida
    (484 votes)
733 votes total Vote Now