College Football Playoffs? Just Delusions of Grandeur

College football is about to run off the rails. Seriously.

Just a brief moment of verbal house keeping – “Jeez” is a minced oath. I love that phrase - “minced oath.” Let it swirl around the tongue for a second because it’s delicious. It means a minor but socially acceptable blasphemy. So Han Solo, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away tried to invoke a distant Galilean who caused a minor disruption in the fish and loaves market to clarify a separated twin’s domestic dispute.

But I’m off the rails.

So is college football.

Why is college football fun?

We all know.

It’s the arguments.

That’s it. That’s clear. That’s why we are here reading RBR and not Teen Vogue.

We’ve been ripping this sport apart as we hone in on some [cursing is not okay on this site but we have semiotics so when I say “Doug” you know exactly what I mean] Doug Dougging assumption that the game is not the reason to play or the season itself is not the campaign. Meet on the field and contest. Done. We need to allow more teams to make up for and allow for errors?

What is a tournament?

It’s chance to make up for a failure to perform perfectly in the regular season. Nobody should expect perfection, but if you pull it off and get all the high fives you should be hell o’ mad that there’s a back door for the loser to to sneak up on your achievement.

Has anyone asked why we should do one of these invitationals? I’m not kidding. That puts me in a lonely spot in the sports world though. The 2007 NFL season was among the most embarrassing in sports rankings if you give a flying Doug what a league and commenters determine as a team’s success.

The Pats lost one game. Just one. The Giants lost a gaggle of games, including one to the Patriots. But the latter day Giants beat the then-undefeated Patriots and had not only their loss to the Patriots excised, but their losses to the Cowboys, Packers, Cowboys again, Vikings, [REDACTED], and then the Patriots. The Giants drew with the Patriots and also lost to four other teams (one twice) but… tournament. So the team that only lost one game is not the champ. All hail the champion that lost three games in their own division. Tournaments rock?

The SEC has a champion. We apparently need to know how that champion does against other champions. The Big 12 has a champion. We apparently need to know how that champion does against other champions. The PAC 12 has a champion. We apparently need to know how that champion does against other champions. The BIG 10 makes up whatever the hell they want to do to make sure Indiana gets screwed. We apparently need to know how that manufacture does against other champions.

But we don’t need to know because there will always be an ACL tear. There’s a horror around every corner. Something will happen and it might be as simple as a missed holding call. There are people complaining about every game that has ever been played. That’s why this is fun. There’s no certainty about who is the best.

I hate to say it, but it’s an eye test. Every time.

Let’s scream at each other. That was what was so fun about the bowl games when they mattered. We knew what we were getting; a no consequence game that we’d dissect and bitch about (get to bitch about because that’s key) for the off season.

Perfect if left alone, but it was never left alone. There’s nothing else to do in between football seasons and we have idle hands. It’s not like we were going to watch the Orioles lose for the… honestly how many games can the Orioles lose. Folks are going to find something to do (excepting the Orioles.)

At best there are three teams per annum that can compete for the championship. That’s been the case. Why they want to expand this is an obscenity. I’d like everybody to enjoy a bowl game of consequence and dump this playoff stuff for all manner of reason. My view of no playoffs is dead.

I lost that argument, but 12? Get Douged.