Random Thoughts: Texas, FSU, Southern Cal Still Not Back

It was another week of mostly blah cupcake games but it also had some eliminators, upsets, and a fair share of drama.

SEC

Arkansas 40 Texas 21 - Sark has done in one month at Tejas something that Nick Saban has yet to do in 14 years at Alabama: lose to Arkansas. The Hogs outgained the ‘Horns 471 to 256 and led 16-0 at the half. The burnt orange players simply could not catch up. Texas RB Bijan Robinson who EVERYONE on ESPN was drooling over during preseason gained 69 yards on 19 carries for a 3.6 ypc average.

Pitt 41 Tennessee 34 – The Vols led 10-0 and 13-7 before the Panthers scored 13 straight to take the lead. Starting UT quarterback Joe Milton was knocked out of the game when he was sacked and lost the ball at his own 18. The game was left in the hands of former Va Tech starting QB Hendon Hooker, who was okay (15-21, 188 yds, 2 TD, 1 INT) but the Vols committed 13 penalties for 134 yards and allowed five sacks. Meanwhile, Tennessee back-up Harrison Bailey has yet to play a down.

Texas A&M 10 Colorado 7 - Freshman quarterback Haynes King was knocked out of the game and replaced by Zach Calzada who struggled (18-38, 183 yds, 1 TD). Yet, all the Aggies needed from him was one score. And that he did with 2:41 left in the game. Colorado scored in the first quarter but did not cross the 50 yard line in the second half. The Buffs eked out 89 passing yards.

Mississippi State 24 NC State 10 - A big shocker in the SEC is that the Bullies could be dangerous. Clanga Clang returned the opening kickoff 100 yards for a score and never looked back. The Wolfpack lost the turnover battle 3-0. Will Rogers may have a say in the argument of the Magnolia State’s best quarterback (33-49, 294 YDS, 2 TD).

Kentucky 35 Missouri 28 - UK’s Chris Rodriguez ran for 206 yards and scored three touchdowns on the ground while adding another score through the air. If he can stay healthy, UK will make some noise this year.

South Carolina 20 East Carolina 17 - SC did not lead the game until connecting on a 36 yard field goal at the buzzer. The Gamecocks committed three turnovers and eight penalties. They were 2-12 on third down conversions. It was the defense that won this game with a pick six, five sacks, and holding ECU to 11 first downs.

Alabama 48 Mercer 14 - Nick Saban was not in a good mood after this one.

Stephen Lew-USA TODAY Sports

LSU 34 McNeese 7 – Someone call Protective Services. Ed Orgeron badgered his poor son, quarterback of McNeese, sacking him eight times resulting in -60 rushing yards. His counterpart Max Johnson was 18 for 27 for 161 yards and three touchdowns.

Auburn 62 Alabama State 0 - Another Super Bowl win for the PlainWarTigersEagles. I’m a little surprised they did not rush the field.

Florida 42 South Florida 20 – The Gators had 666 total yards and have a running back named Dameon Pierce - proof positive that they are evil. Dan Mullen won’t admit it but there is a quarterback controversy in Gainesville and it could have been avoided. He insists on continuing with this silly rotation of Emory Jones (14-22, TD, 2 INT) and dynamic freshman Anthony Richardson (3-3, 152 yds, 2 TD, 115 rush yds on 4 att, TD) who brings life to his team every time he is on the field. Cousin Eddie must have been drinking a lot of Natty Lights and watching old 2006 VHS tapes of Chris Leak and Tim Tebow in the offseason.

Georgia 56 UAB 7 – Forgotten former starting quarterback Stetson Bennett unexpectedly made the start and flung the ball all over the yard with four touchdowns in his first five passing attempts. JT Daniels was cleared to play but Kirby Smart chose to sit the junior. Daniels now has four less touchdown passes than Bennett. The UGA defense picked off three UAB passes, returning one for a TD, and did not give up a score. The Blazers only touchdown came on a pick-six thrown by third-teamer and forgotten man Carson Beck.

Ole Miss 54 Austin Peay 17 – yadda yadda yadda hotty toddy potty blah blah blah

PSUEDO SEC

Vanderbilt 24 Colorado State 21 – The ‘Dores came back from 14-0 to win it on a Joseph Bulovas 38-yard field goal with 22 ticks on the clock. I ain’t mad. Good for him.

NON-SEC

Jacksonville State 20 Florida State 17 - A week ago, the ‘Noles were feeling pretty good about their team... after a loss. Can you imagine that???

Meanwhile, the JSU administration collected $400,000 from FSU.

Do you believe in bad omens? ^^^

Oregon 35 Ohio State 28 – It was not a good start on the day (see above) and it only got worse when the Ducks (dressed like Lime White Claws) marched down the field 99 yards for the first points of the game. (Side Note: anOSU struggled with Minnie last week. The Gophers barely snuck by Miami-Ohio this week 31-26). Oregon running back C.J. Verdell scored on the ground twice and once via the forward pass.

Bad omen Part 2. ^^^

Stanford 42 Southern Cal 28 – We have asked this dozens of times before “could this FINALLY be the end of Clay Helton’s reign in South Central L.A.?” Finally the answer is “yes”. It seems losing to Stanford at home by two touchdown when they were favored by 18 was the final straw. The Cardinal dominated and led by 42-13 in the fourth quarter before the Trojans scored against back-ups.

Iowa 27 Iowa State 17 – It’s so rare I am right so let me gloat. ISU was so overrated! I could not believe all the preseason love they were getting. Now does this mean they will have a losing season? On the contrary, they will probably comeback and look impressive and maybe upset someone because that is who they are. Thanks for letting me do that.

As for the game, Cyclones quarterback Brock Purdy was straight-up benched after passing 13 for 27 with three completions going to the other team. Breece Hall had another poor showing running for only 69 yards on 16 attempts with a lost fumble that was returned for a score. Iowa had only 173 total yards as compared to 339 for ISU. [That is NOT a misprint.] The Cyclone four turnovers were the killer.

Notre Dame 32 Toledo 29 - A touchdown pass with 1:09 remaining gave the Irish the lead and the skin-of-their-teeth win over the Rockets.

Miami 25 Appalachian State 23 – This game had five lead changes until a 43-yard field goal by the ‘Canes with just over two minutes to play put them ahead to stay. Not that Alabama needs it this year but the ‘Canes W help the Tide’s SOS.

BYU 26 Utah 17 – Who needs Zach Wilson? The Coogs seem to be doing pretty well with a solid win over the previously #21 Utes. The Mormons converted 11 of 19 first downs and possessed the ball almost 11 more minutes than their counterparts. It was the Cougars first win over Utah since 2009.

Michigan 31 Washington 10 - What has happened to the Huskies? The Wolverines won with pound and ground of 343 rushing yards. They had to since they only had 44 passing yards. Army approves.

CUPCAKES VS CONTENDERS

Clemson 49 South Carolina State 3 - Uiagalelei threw another pick.
Oklahoma 76 Western Carolina 0 – The pisst off Sooners took out their anger on the poor li’l Catamounts when they ain’t done nuthin’ to nobody.
Coastal Carolina 49 Kansas 22 – Somewhere, unjustly fired Mark Mangino is eating a Twinkie and smiling.
Cincinnati 42 Murray Attaway State 7
Penn State 44 Lucille Ball State 13

UGLIEST UNIFORM OF THE WEEK

Colorado State wore this throwback to the colors they wore from 1893 to 1945. They need to throw them back because they lost at home to Vanderbilt. Also cuz orange, amirite? These unis look like Miami-FL with a UNC logo.

WEIRDEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK

STATS OF THE WEEK

• Arkansas had 182 yards before contact against Texas. If you are unfamiliar, that is a BIG number.
• Ole Miss had a lot of big numbers including penalties: 11 for 130 yards.
• Hmm. I wonder how this happened. Notre Dame was flagged three times as opposed to 11 for Toledo.
• Ohio State is 112th in total defense yielding 456.5 ypg. They are 109th in scoring defense allowing 33.0 ppg.
• Vandy’s win over CSU is their first road win since 2018.

WRONG, WRONG, AND WRONG

Look at this bozo. How does this guy have a job? It’s bad enough this blithering dodo calls himself by the same name as the legendary Paul W. Bryant. But then he gives you crap like this. If you want good betting advise, read Erik’s Giving Money Away.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

We got a few more good suggestions. UCLA humiliated LSU last week which makes them an automatic friend. Tulane gave Oklahoma all they could handle in Week 1 and are a resilient bunch. And looky who they have coming up!

• Arkansas State (1-1) - The Fightin’ Butch Joneses lost a shootout with Memphis 55-50. Both teams gained identical 680 yards. ASU can make a big statement with a win on the road at Washington.
• UCLA (2-0) - Had a week off before facing a tough Fresno team who took Oregon to the brink last week.
• Tulane (1-1) - The Green Wave gets the win over Morgan Fairchild State 69-20. This game was played at Legion Field in Birmingham - with free admission - due to the big wind that knocked stuff over and made everything all wet in Nawlins. Next is a trip to the Grove to take on the BlackSharkManBearPigAckbars of yonder Old Mississippi.
• UT-Martin (1-1) - The Skyhawks came back from a 17-0 deficit to defeat Samford 33-27. UTM heads to winless Northwestern State.

COUSINS

• Troy (1-1) - The Trojans fell to Liberty 21-13. Now a trip to Southern Miss.
• South Alabama (2-0) - The Jags win at Bowling Green on last-second 44-yard field goal 22-19. I really like this coach Kane Wommack. Alcorn State comes to Mobile on Saturday.

THAT ANNOYING NEIGHBOR WHO LEAVES HIS DOGS OUTSIDE AND THEY BARK INCESSANTLY

• UAB (1-1) - The Dragons got body-slammed back to reality by UGA 56-7. Next, it’s a trip out west to North Texas.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

Air Force takes the early lead in the chase for the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy by defeating Navy 23-3.

• Navy (0-2) - The Midshipmen have a week off til a plane ride to Houston.
• Air Force (2-0) - The Falcons have surprise team Utah State (2-0) next on the docket.

• Army (2-0) - The Black Knights slipped by WKU 38-35. UConn is the next victim.

COMMANDER-IN-CHUMPS TROPHY SCHEDULE

Week 1’s result is starting to make a whole lot of sense. BGSU is eliminated!

9/2/21 Tennessee 38 Bowling Green 6
9/11/21 South Alabama 22 Bowling Green 19
11/20/21 South Alabama at Tennessee - Championship!

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Premature elimination: Rutgers, Wake Forest, BC, Pitt, Arky, South Carolina, Missy State.

Definite elimination: Duke, Georgia Tech, ‘Ville, FSU, Syracuse, Kansas, Nebraska, Illinois, Cal, Oregon State, Arizona, Stanford, Washington State, Washington, Mizzou, Vandy, Tennessee.

Endangered: Clemson, Miami, UNC, West Virginia, Indiana, Minnie, Northwestern, Wisky, LSU, NEW: Ohio State, Texas, Iowa State, Colorado, Utah, Southern Cal.

Premature endangered: Sparty, Louisville, Texas Tech, Baylor, Virginia, Purdue, Kansas State, Colorado.

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

• ACC - Only BC, Wake, Va Tech, Pitt, and UVa have gotten through two weeks unscathed.
• SEC - Bama, UGA, TAMU look good. Florida could make a run. LSU is the only SEC West team with a loss.
• Big 12 - Texas is toast. Iowa State is probably done as well. Oklahoma might be the only hope. Again.
• Big Ten - The race is wide open.
• PAC-12 - Southern Cal may have killed their season late Saturday night. Oregon is the cream of this crap. UCLA could make a run.
• Indies - Notre Dame is 2-0 but looking pretty sketchy. Both BYU wins are against PAC-12 teams (Arizona, Utah). Saturday they play Arizona State in an eliminator.
• Non-Power 5 - Cincinnati finally plays a team with a pulse this weekend in Indiana followed by Notre Dame after a bye.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Three AP voters took UGA over Alabama. One from Tuscon, one from Dallas, and one from Tampa. One coach took the Dwags in the Coaches Poll. Probably Coach Bowl Cut. Below is the AP.

(The first CFP rankings drops on Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2021)

1. Alabama (60) (2-0)
2. Georgia (3) (2-0)
3. Oklahoma (2-0)
4. Oregon (2-0) - Up 8 spots.
5. Iowa (2-0)
6. Clemson (1-1)
7. Texas A&M (2-0)
8. Cincinnati (2-0)
9. Ohio State (1-1) - Down 6.
10. Penn State (2-0)
11. Florida (2-0)
12. Notre Dame (2-0) - Down 4.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to ABC Sports. Remember a few years ago during the Alabama-Tennessee game, CBS thought it prudent to interview Peyton Manning during game action? Well, that TV director must have gotten a job with ABC because they did a similar thing during the Michigan-Washington game. With the outcome of the game still in doubt, they brought in Baltimore Ravens coach and Jim’s Harbaugh brother John Harbaugh on the phone to shoot the s**t for several minutes while the game was going on. How do these networks think this adds to the entertainment of the broadcast?

HEISMAN HYPE

Most years, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. of course there are exceptions.

This commercial would have been funnier if they had ended it with “should we get an elephant?”

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the slobbering press and other voters will callously crush on.

Nobody really stood out this past Saturday.

QB Bryce Young (Soph, Alabama) 19-27, 227 YDS, 3 TD - Stat-padding against an FCS cupcake.

QB Spencer Rattler (RS-Soph, Oklahoma) 20-26, 243 YDS, 5 TD - Stat-padding against an FCS cupcake.

QB Matt Corral (RS-Jr, Ole Miss) 21-33, 281 YDS, 5 TD - Stat-padding against an FCS cupcake.

QB Jack Coan (RS-Sr, Notre Dame) 21-33, 239 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT - What did I tell you? Brace yourselves. The hype machine is just getting going.

FADING

QB D.J. Uiagalelei (Soph, Dabo Cult) 14-24, 171 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT - Another run-of-the-mill performance by Mr. Fansville. Against South. Carolina. State.

QB J.T. Daniels (RS-Jr, Georgia) no stats - Did not play against UAB because of an oblique injury. He may miss the South Carolina game as well. You can’t make highlight shows if you aren’t playing.

QB Kedon Slovis/Sedon Klovis (Jr, So Cal) 27-42, 223 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT - Losing to Stanford at home hurts his campaign.

RB Breece Hall (Jr, Iowa State) - Another weak effort.

EDGE Kayvon Thibodeaux (Jr, Oregon) - Did not play in a marquee game that could have gotten him the attention he needs.

TOKEN RUNNING BACK

Zach Charbonnet (Jr, UCLA) - Bye week after two straight 100 yard rushing games.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section IS for who deserves to win it.

At this point there is no clear leader. Once we get these cupcakes out of the way and get into conference play, things should become a little clearer.

THE SICK REPORT

• Texas A&M starting QB Haynes King injured his leg and was on crutches. Jimbo Fisher eloquently told reporters that King has a “crack in his lower leg,” which translates to he broke his tibia. Some speculations have it that he’ll be out 4-7 weeks. It would be straight-up shocking if he returns in time for Alabama on October 9.
• Ohio State safety Josh Proctor was carted off the field with a leg injury. “Josh’s injury looked not good on the field,” Ryan Day said. “Obviously praying for the best, but it did not look good when we were on the field.”
• Vols quarterback Joe Milton suffered a dreaded “lower-body injury” in the second quarter of the team’s loss to Pitt.
• A devastating blow was delivered to Boston College on the news that QB Phil Jurkovec will unlikely return in 2021 after suffering hand injury against UMass. Adjust your gambling accordingly.
• Super senior Kansas State QB Skylar Thompson is out indefinitely with knee injury. His replacement was not great (8/17, 76 yds, 0 TD, 1 INT) against Southern Illinois.
• Virginia Tech’s star senior tight end James Mitchell suffered a season-ending knee injury.

DRAMA

• The SEC fined the Arkansas Razorbacks $100,000 for fans storming the field after the win over Texas. It was the second violation by the program. The previous violation was in 2014 against LSU. A third offense will cost Arkansas $250,000. And you wonder why some people still haven’t accepted Arky as part of the SEC.
• Texas coach Steve Sarkisian is making a change at starting quarterback with Casey Thompson replacing Hudson Card Both QBs played against Arky and neither was very impressive. Card: 8-15, 61 yards, 0 TD, fumble; Thompson: 5-8, 57 yards, 0 TD
• From the Worst Kept Secret Department comes news of Houston, BYU, Cincinnati, and Center Florida formally joining the Big XII. The hope is for the quartet to join the conference in 2023, conceivably before Okie and Texas leave, to briefly create a 14-team conference. However without those two blue bloods, it just feels like another AAC.

Baylor
BYU
Center Florida
Cincinnati
Houston
Iowa State
Kansas
Kansas State
Oklahoma State
TCU
Texas Tech
West Virginia

• The Najee Harris legacy is growing as we saw several running back attempt to jump over defenders. Many of those attemptees got rocked by the guy behind the first defender.
• A young giraffe named after Joe Burrow has died at the Baton Rouge Zoo. The 20-month-old giraffe, named Burreaux, passed away after a brief life in Red Stick - much like the LSU/Coach O Dynasty.

KOACHES KORNER

• LET THE REPLACEMENT SPECULATION BEGIN! Southern Cal head coach Clay Helton has been fired about three seasons too late after compiling a record of 46–24 (PAC 36–13). He was 1-3 in bowl games as full head coach. The university will owe him more than $10 million in the buyout with two seasons left on his contract. Time to check into the Nick Saban Rehab Center.
• For some reason instead of promoting a coordinator, cornerbacks coach Donte Williams will serve as interim coach. He’ll probably win a bunch of games, everyone will get excited about him, and So Cal will make him permanent coach. And then he’ll suck.
• Urban Meyer is about to come up with a rare sickness that causes him to leave Jacksonville, but miraculously heal just in time to take the job in South Central L.A. for next season.
• It is very satisfying that Pitt beat Tennessee so Fat F*** Phil Fulmer could not bask in glory on Johnny Majors Day. If you don’t know the story, FFPF talked s**t about Majors behind his back while he was his assistant and took over the job. Et tu, Fat.

TEEVEE

College football is off to a roaring start.

1. Georgia 10, Clemson 3 — 8.863 million viewers
2. Notre Dame 41, Florida State 38 — 7.751 million
3. Ohio State 45, Minnesota 31 — 6.295 million
4. Alabama 44, Miami 13 — 5.674 million
5. Penn State 16, Wisconsin 10 — 5.409 million

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big Long Island University-Miami (OH) showdown, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, September 16

Ohio at La-Laffy 7pm/8pm ESPN

Friday, September 17

Center Florida at Louisville 6:30/7:30 ESPN
Maryland at Illinois 8pm/9pm FS1 - Locks vs Bert; Lia is looking really good.

Saturday, September 18

GAMES OF THE WEEK

Each of these games will have national implications.

1. Alabama at Florida 2:30/3:30 CBS - Soooo. We meet again.
2. Auburn at Penn State 6:30/7:30 ABC - PSU is favored by 6.
3. Arizona State at BYU 9:15/10:15 ESPN - Surprisingly, the Cougars are a -3½ point underdog.

SEC SLEEP IN

New Mexico at Texas A&M 11am/noon SECN - Yawn
Chattanooga at Kentucky 11am/noon SECN+ - bleh
SE Missouri State at Missouri 11am/noon SECN+ - make it stop!
Tennessee Tech at Tennessee 11am/noon SECN+ - I can’t take much more.
Georgia Southern at Arkansas 3pm/4pm SECN - ugggh

SEC TUNE IN

Mississippi State at Memphis 3pm/4pm ESPN2 - A sneaky scary one for the Bullies.
South Carolina at Georgia 6pm/7pm ESPN - SC tends to give UGA fits every few years. Prolly not this year.
C. Michigan at LSU 6:30/7:30 SECN - Jim McElwain’s clan already lost to Mizzou.
Tulane at Ole Miss 7pm/8pm ESPN2 - This could be a wild one.

BASEBALL SCHOOL

Stanford at Vanderbilt 7pm/8pm ESPNU - The Brainiac Bowl

OTHERS ON SATURDAY

Nebraska at Oklahoma 11am/noon FOX - The first meeting since the 2010 BIG 12 Championship. My, how things have changed for the Cornies in ten short years.
Cincinnati at Indiana 11am/noon ESPN - Cincy’s hope for legitimacy has faded after Iowa smoked the Hooisers in Week 1.
Virginia Tech at West Virginia 11am/noon FS1 - Old Big East rivals reunite and they do NOT like each other.
Michigan State at Miami-FL 11am/noon ABC - Third tough game in a row for the ‘Canes. If only Clemson scheduled like this.
Purdue at Notre Dame 1:30/2:30 NBC - The Irish get back to their midwest roots.

SLEEPY TIME

Iowa State at UNLV 9:30/10:30 CBSSN - Cyclones are going to take out their anger on the poor Rebs.
Fresno at UCLA 9:45/10:45 PAC12 - A very dangerous one for the Bruins if they have been eating the Rat Poison.
San Jose Bautista State at Hawaii 11:30pm/12:30am FS1 - Hiamoe

#ALABAMA

• Alabama has now scored 30+ points in 28 straight games.
• The Crimson Tide now have 99 straight wins over unranked teams.
• We learned from Nick Saban that freshman running back Camar Wheaton had been injured in practice and may miss another week. No other details were made available.
• Every time Alabama plays one of these FCS cupcakes, it seems like some Tide player gets hurt. To the shock and horror of Bama fans everywhere, Will Anderson left the game with a knee injury in the third quarter. Nick Saban said Monday that his condition “has been very encouraging” and they feel “more encouraged” about his status than they did after the game Saturday. His status is day-to-day.
• It turns out that linebacker Henry To’o To’o sprained his elbow UCL against Miami but still practiced and played this past week against Mercer. He is one tough dude.
• Starting cornerbacks Josh Jobe and Jalyn Armour-Davis both sat out the Mercer game but are expected to return to practice this week. Tight end Major Tennison was also out.
• Kool-Aid McKinstry (1 solo, 4 asst, 1 pass breakup) and Marcus Banks (2 solo, 2 asst, 0.5 TFL) started at the corners and each got an interception.

• Bama fans got an extended look at freshman wide receiver Agiye Hall who lit it up at A-Day. He made an impressive touchdown grab but it was wiped away by an ineligible receiver downfield flag. It is unclear why he isn’t seeing more meaningful playing time.
• Sophomore RB Jase McClellan scored on a special teams (return a blocked punt), rushing, and receiving.
• Bryce Young: “I don’t feel like, as a team, we were very proud of what we put on film this weekend.”
• Alabama’s Week 4 game with Southern Miss will kickoff at 6:30pm and air on SECN.

GAME 3: Saturday, September 18, 2021

Alabama Crimson Tide (2-0) at Florida Gators (2-0)

Gainesville, FL ~ 2:30pm CT/3:30pm ET, CBS

• Alabama will be back in the classic all-white uniforms.
• The forecast for the Swamp is scattered thunderstorms, high of 87.
• Announcers: Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson (so sorry) with Jamie Erdahl.
• Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
• The Crimson Tide have a 27-14 edge over the Gatas all-time. Bama has won seven in a row.
• The line on this game is around Bama -15½. Over/Under is 58½.