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NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week Two: Ballistic Bucks and Unhappy ‘Horns

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The latest installment of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Texas v Arkansas Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

For week two of “It’s Meltdown Time!” we focus on two highly entitled fanbases, neither of which believed a loss was imminent. First up are the Ohio State Buckeyes, who are absolutely done with DC Kerry Coombs, and it seems that QB CJ Stroud is a polarizing figure there. Next, we have Texas, who was spanked by Arkansas.

Hoo, boy, they didn’t see that one coming.

As always, the language in this post is abhorrent. Being that Texas is involved, expect to read things that are unconscionable, to include most every kind of bigotry that exists. We laugh at the irrationality of it all, but if you can’t handle such things, please read no further. You have been warned.

The rest of you, enjoy.

Honestly, if you think about it, we’ve been due for a downturn. We’ve had it pretty good the past couple decades. National title in 2014, total dominance over TTUN, multiple conference championships, multiple playoff appearances. It couldn’t last forever. Just need to figure out a way to make this backslide as short-lived as possible.

Just fucking blow me. My God I gate this defense

Delete my entire existence

we need to just start onside kicking

Morehead is punking Coombs

The QB has his own fucking zip code which we are not allowed into, and we have to fight the striped shirts that want camera time too

I’m gonna be sick.

Did the QB get a restraining order before this game? Because our defensive line isn’t allowed within 100 feet of him.

Fire Coombs right now. RIGHT NOW

We suck donkey ass

Coombs is an idiot wrapped in a moron.

The messed up thing about this? Their wide receivers are open ALL DAMN DAY. I don’t care if this ends up on Twitter... FIRE/DEMOTE COOMBS.

(RBR ed: this is so much better than Twitter, chief. ‘Grats on the fame)

WIDE F’ING OPEN, THIS IS A 2-3 LOSS TEAM FOLKS...

It’s almost as if they took a bunch of kids who have never played the game and told them “go play some D”

Lol this is a joke. All you Coombs apologists, come get your medicine. This is an embarrassment

Shaw and eichenberg wouldn’t start for st Xavier high school, but they’re playing every snap for a college team with national title hopes. Fun!

Coombs should be left on the tarma—oh wait.

Good thing we don’t play Fresno State.

Do you prefer your soul-crushing defeats in the early afternoon, the late afternoon or the evening?

Since every year brings national title aspirations, by definition, every loss is soul crushing. Thinking back on the last couple of decades, I think I prefer my debilitating defeat in the early afternoon.

Imagine sitting here watching this shit.

As they run 95% of the playes to their left and destroy us.

Whoever isn’t seeing this. Fire them.

This defense is a fraud. I’m sorry but Oregon ain’t Alabama. This is a defensive disaster of epic proportions.

Saban would be firing people tomorrow

not only will we not make the playoffs, we won’t make the B!G championship game, which I already bought tickets to.

Maybe Coombs has a bright future as a door to door insurance salesman?

Sad reality. This defense is capable of losing at Michigan this year.

Over 500 yards of offense. Only 21 points. A defense that couldn’t stop a middle school.

Klatt just said the OCs are playing chess…unfortunately, Coombs is playing tic-tax-toe

That’s too complicated of a game for him, he’s happily playing with his crayons and coloring book

Piss poor coaching. Oregon ain’t even that good. There best defensive players are out. Fuck this.

If Stroud is all we have then we’re in trouble. He’s overthrown at least two easy touchdowns that led to zero points. He mopes on the sideline. Does not inspire confidence.

Oh yeah, one last thing, to the people saying some were overreacting last week about the defense: eat shit

over 600 yards of offense. Gotta be close to a record. Bama would hang a hundo on this D. MGOblog is loviing this

Of course three of the biggest plays that fucked us over we’re made by PAC 12 refs. The PI against Olave in the end zone. The “hold” against Mumford. The targeting. What a crock of shit.

The Emperor has no clothes. Ryan Day is never going to win a title at Ohio State.

Clearly, we can’t compare ourselves to Alabama.

“Privately this staff believes they can make a playoff run.”

-Texas fanfic writers, fall 2021

At least the meltdown thread article on Bama sight will have some good content

I’m gonna watch some porn while my wife is at work taking care of covid pts. Maybe seeing Riley Reed, Sydney Cole, Elsa Jean, and Ashley Sinclair in a lesbo scene will cheer me up

Porn is for amateurs. Real men call up whores or get a sugar baby to come sick your suck for dick for $100

It’s been a problem since I was in school many decades ago, our players start smelling their own farts and believe we are fucking entitled to good shit. Only Vince was able to break that culture, and the remnants of that mentality remained thru Colt’s tenure, then dissipated into the wind.

No program eats Parcell’s poison cheese like our weak minded players. Fuck.

It really blows my mind that every year. every fucking year, these kids are told that the Texas game is our opponents super bowl every fucking week. and for the last 11 years at least our players act like they are stunned that they are playing against a team that wants to beat them every week.

Brakes.

We need some gas. Gas!

I wonder if piggy finds this performance borderline erotic?

So much for all the kicking their ass bravado. Offense seems like they like licking ass...

We s’posed to be SEC

Any mid season transfer targets?

Honestly we are close. We are like 6 o line recruits From being ok

No racist, but can we just drop the white LB and white S scheme?

I’m tired of hiring coaches that say “we prepare the same for everyone”.. no we are playing a rival and we’re gonna go to Walmart stadium and kick their ass. Unfuckingbelievable.

it’s not about getting the lead out, we have 5 pussies on the oline, there’s no lead there

The problem is much worse than a pussy O-Line and a washed QB.This is a major coaching issue, to the point it looks like a foundational flaw. These guys are not executing at all, making horrible mistakes including untimely penalties, and simply don’t look interested in the slightest. I don’t think they’re playing “afraid”, they just don’t want to be there..Expect locker-room drama to distract the team the rest of the season.

Is Bo Pellini available?

Fuck all of you Card cocksuckers in your fucking faces you clowns

300+ pound traffic cones on both sides of the ball ..

I got drunk for this shit?

tExAs iS tHe m0re tAleNteD tEaM

Our team’s farts must smell great to them

Ghost of Charlie Strong

Bend…….break……and f’king surrender

Sark looks...pretty fat. Gary Patterson fat.

Anyone who crowed about Sark being better than Herman is a fucking fool.

Fuck you, Sark.

WHy the fuck is Sark squatting on the sideline. Can’t that dude stand up for this shit.

I started at UT near the end of the Mack Brown tenure and it just dawned on me that it’s been like this my entire adult life.

This team is weaker than a bag full of pussy.

May every inbred there get Covid and die

If this team goes .500 I’ll be shocked fuck these spineless pussies

See you all in three years for the next coaching search.

Just fucking shut the program down.

can we fire a coach after 2 years???? Maybe a 1 year ???

I don’t want 3 more years of this crap.

So what are you guys gonna do with all the new found extra free time on Saturdays? I might take up basket weaving

We are getting housed by Arkansas. ARKANSAS!!! What in theeeeee actual fuck

Welp, i’m heading over to the fire sark thread. see y’all soon.

Sark has the same stupid fucking lost little puppy looking face that Herman always had. Another dogshit hire

Remember when we were bigger faster and better over the summer?

Alright girls and boys, as I transition to my Ardbeg and leave coherent reality behind, I want us all to remember that our team sucks and we’ll never have anything nice. Stock up your liquor cabinets for the rest of the season, because Arky just put on tape how to fuck us in the ass.