Random Thoughts: ACC Armageddon

Week 1 could not have gone better for Alabama fans. The Crimson Tide looked great, while everyone EVERYONE else looked mediocre to flat out bad.

Meanwhile in ACC country, the top three and only ranked teams in the conference went down in flames scoring a total of 26 points. Alliance, schmalliance.

Different players, same results.

Alabama 44 Miami 13 - The Crimson Tide offense set the stage with a 7 play, 75 scoring drive to open the game. Bama would score on each of their first five possessions to take a 27-0 lead. In that span, the ‘Canes recorded one first down. Miami got a little mojo working in the second half with an up-tempo drive but was stone-walled at the goal line on fourth down. The Bama harassed D’Eriq King all day long, sacking the 24-year old sixth year senior four times, causing him to lose a fumble, and picking him off twice.

Although the Tide have a few things to work on, this win was by far the most impressive one for an FBS team thus far this season.

SEC

This was the best part of the Duke’s Mayo Classic.

Georgia 10 Clemson 3 - Remember the “Game of the Century” a few years ago between Alabama and LSU? It had all the hype but kinda fizzled. Think that 2011 game but much more boring. A pick-six by UGA was the difference in Saturday night’s game which was helmed by two supposed Heisman hopeful quarterbacks (more on them in HEISMAN HYPE below). UGA’s defense is legit (7 sacks, 2 yards rushing allowed) but the Clemson OL is straight up trash. Georgia had two turnovers of their own and committed ten penalties.

The stupid thing here is that the talking heads and UGA fans are all talking up the Dwags like they destroyed the Tigers. BUT THEIR OFFENSE SCORED THREE POINTS! With preseason All-SEC second team QB JT Daniels (4.5 ypp, 1 INT) and fellow All-SEC Zamir White (13 rush, 74 yds, fumble recovered by teammate) on the roster, all they could muster was THREE POINTS! When the pick-six occurred, Clemson was driving and deep into Georgia territory. It was one play. This game could have easily gone the other way.

Kids, this is how NOT to throw a pass.

UCLA 38 LSU 27 - Add another exhibit to the building case that the Tigers’ 2019 season was nothing but an aberration. Dumbass Coach O had words with a UCLA fan as he walked into the Rose Bowl on Saturday, referring to his “sissy blue shirt”. Well, the sissy blue shirts waxed his “white surrender” shirts. UCLA QB Dorian Thompson-Robinson (9-16, 260 yds, 3 TD, 1 INT) is one of those guys who it feels has been around for a decade, and he might just be putting it all together this year. Michigan cast-off running back Zach Charbonnet had his second straight 100+ yard game. The Tigers pass defense still looks like trash (470 yards given up) and Derek Stingley’s tackling skills lead much to be desired. LSU running backs were held to 49 rushing yards for an average of 1.96 ypc.

Florida 35 FAU! 14 - This is why you read RBR. If you want a bunch of regurgitated B.S., read the national press. While they were all touting Emory Jones as a Heisman hopeful, we here at RBR honestly surmised that the Gators QB sucked and may not even be the starter by the time October rolls around. Well, we were wrong. He might actually be replaced before October. Jones (113 passing yds, 1 TD, 2 INT) started out okay producing touchdowns on UF’s first two drives and then threw his first pick in the third series in the end zone. In the next possession, Emory was stopped on 4th and goal when he tried a QB sneak... from the four-yard line. After two punts and a pick, Anthony Richardson substituted in and ran wild (7 carries, 160 yds, 1 TD). The Gainesville freshman upped the vibe and the scoring for the Gators to turn the game into one more resembling a blow out. Florida had nine penalties for 91 yards.

Texas A&M 41 Kent State 10- TAMU beat KSU like they should but newly crowned Aggies quarterback Haynes King threw three interceptions in his debut. Ainias Smith gained 100 receiving yards and added two scores but also lost a fumble.

Tennessee 38 Bowling Green 6 - The Vols did some good things but they did a lot of bad things too. They started out on fire, scoring on their first two drives but fell into a lull. The halftime score was 14-6. Troll UT as much as you want but when it comes down to it, they are still an SEC team. They are too big and too deep to let a bad MAC teamfull of freshmen beat them. The Vols wore the Greenies down and put them away in the second half, but it wasn’t pretty. Michigan transfer Joe Milton XVIII was only 11-23 for 140 yards and 1 TD for Tennessee. He missed several targets, was sacked three times, and lost a fumble. BGSU was 2-14 on third down which is good on UT, but the fact that the Falcons got to third down on that many occasions has to worry the staff. Despite a lack of ability to score, Bowling Green was able to control the tempo and won the time of possession battle 34 minutes to 26.

Auburn 60 Akron 10 - The Tigers beat a REALLY awful team and you would have thought they beat the Kansas City Chiefs. And of course, their players were very classy about the whole thing, as well as their coach who opted to score one last touchdown with 28 seconds left.
South Carolina 46 Eastern Illinois 0 - SC beat up on a FCS team who is 2-16 over the last two seasons. Rah
Kentucky 45 UL Monroe 10 - UK may have actually found themselves a QB who can pass the ball. Despite ULM being a terrible team, Penn State transfer Will Levis was very solid under center. He threw an interception on UK’s first offensive series but settled down to pass 18-26, 367 yds and 4 touchdowns for the game. The ‘Cats are going to upset someone this year. They play three straight against Fla, LSU, and @UGA in October.
Arkansas 38 Rice 17 - Arky was down 17-7 and lost their top two linebackers Grant Morgan and Bumper Pool to highly questionable targeting calls. The Hogs would wake up and score 31 unanswered points for the easy win.
Mississippi State 35 Louisiana Tech 34 - Clanga-clang is SO proud that they came back from a 20-point deficit in the fourth quarter. However, the fact remains that they were down by 20 points in the fourth quarter... to La Tech! Only a tipped 46-yard field goal kept Missy State from defeat. Try that against NC State next week. See how it goes.
Missouri 34 Central Michigan 24- Despite Connor Bazelak going 21-32, 257 YDS, 2 TD, Mizzou was 1-11 on third down conversions. Jim McElwain’s Chippewas committed 10 penalties and lost the turnover battle 2-0. Clean up the mistakes and this game might have had a different outcome.

Ole Miss 43 Louisville 24 - It was an intimate affair in Atlanta for the Rebs domination of the Cards. Four players - two for each team - were ejected by the B1G crew for targeting in the first half. All but one of the calls were pretty iffy. They could have used this crew in Minneapolis on Thursday.

Matt Corral went 22-32 for 381 yards and oddly enough did not throw a touchdown pass until the final score of the game with seven minutes to go. The Rebels committed what is surely a season high of 14 penalties for 125 yards.

ACC

Among the ACC teams, they either lost or defeated a FCS or FBS doormat.

Alabama 44 Miami 13 - The No. 14 team was outgained 266 to 501.

Georgia 10 Clemson 3 - The Dabo Pizza Party Cult gained 180 yards.

Virginia Tech 17 North Carolina 10 - The score and stats do not indicate how much VaTech dominated this meeting on the gridiron. This kind of game has been the Hokies M.O. since Tyrod Taylor left town: tough defense and just good enough offense. VT kept Carolina signal caller Sam Howell contained and pressured for most of the game, allowing only 6.3 yards per pass and grabbing three interceptions. Most of the positive UNC yards came with Tech in prevent D late in the game.

Notre Dame 41 Florida State 38 (OT) - Sunday night’s affair was one of the more entertaining games of the weekend with the Irish coming out on top. Notre Dame was up 38-20 entering the final frame when the ‘Noles stormed back to tie the game and send it into overtime. Alas, it was not meant to be. On a weekend, when FSU was honoring the memory of Bobby Bowden, the ‘Noles placekicker was sadly wide left (too soon?) in overtime. ND easily converted their field goal for the win.
* NOTE: The Irish are not full ACC this season.

Northern Illinois 22 Georgia Tech 21 - We didn’t come here to tie! NIU converted a 2-point pass with 38 seconds remaining to upset the Yeller Jackets. Tech paid the Huskies $1.1M for the privileged.
Charlotte 31 Duke 28 - I’d make fun but David Cutcliffe is a Bama man and a nice guy.

ACC VS. DOORMATS

Boston College 51 Colgate 0 - FCS, Walmart Ivy League
NC State 45 South Florida 0 - USF was 1-8 last season.
Wake Forest 42 Old Dominion 10 - might as well be FCS.
Syracuse 29 Ohio 9 - No more Frank Solich.
Pitt 51 UMass 7 - perhaps the worst team in FBS.
Virginia 43 William & Mary 0 - FCS team who has not had a winning season since 2015.

MEDICORITY

Ohio State 45 Minnesota 31 - anOSU jumped out to a 10-0 lead but Minnie stormed back to take a 14-10 lead at the break. After an exchange of third quarter touchdowns, the Gophers punted and the Buckeyes scored on the first play from scrimmage on a 56 yard TD pass. Instead of answering, Minnie QB Tanner Morgan was strip-sacked. Haskell Garrett gobbled up the fumble and ran it in for a 32-yard touchdown. At that point, the Buckies went up 31-21 but it might as well have been 81-21. It took all the air out of the Gophers’ saila. UM running back Mohamed Ibrahim was rolling for 163 yards on 30 carries before he hurt his lower left leg late in the next possession and left the field in a walking boot. Ohio State signal caller CJ Stroud was a bit erratic and consistently inconsistent. How long until we see Mr. Wonderful, freshman Quinn Ewers (aka Joe Dirt II)?

Oklahoma 40 Tulane 35 - The Sooners were a play away from getting beat by the displaced Green Wave. Originally slated to be played in Nawlins, the game was moved to Norman. Okie built a 37-14 halftime lead and decided to start prepping for their next game. Tulane came back with three second half touchdowns and had the ball at midfield but ran out of time. God’s gift to the world, Spencer Rattler, was 30-39 for 304 yards and a TD, but also threw a pair of picks. Sooners RB Eric Gray - formerly of Tennessee - gained only 27 yards on nine carries. OU was 3-12 on third down.

Iowa State 16 Northern Iowa 10 - ISU may upset some teams every now and then but they are still ISU. They are good for a derp or two or three. They almost blew their season against the FCS Panthers. Overrated QB Brock Purdy was 21-26 for only 199 yards and could not find the end zone. Overrated RB Breece Hall had 69 yards on 23 attempts for a flaccid 3.0 ypc average.

Penn State 16 Wisconsin 10 - Big Ten football, y’all. This one was scoreless at the half until PSU broke through in the third. Each team missed a field goal and they combined to punt 13 times. Wisky’s Graham Mertz lost a fumble, threw two picks and had no scores. Even still, the Badgers had a chance at the W with the ball at the PSU 32 with ten tick to go. However, he would throw to a guy on defense to end the game.

Oregon 31 Fresno 24 - The Mighty Ducks had a tough time putting the Bulldogs away. Oregon led 21-6 at one point but let Fresno take a 4th quarter 3-point lead. A score with 2:57 remaining for the Quackers sealed the win.

Texas 38 LaLaffy 18 - After shadowing Nick Saban for so long, you didn’t really think Steve Sarkisian would come into this game unprepared, did you? After a ULL field goal, Texas would push the score to 14-3 and then 21-6. Trading field goals for touchdowns is never a path to success.

Southern Cal 30 San Jose Cuervo State 7 - meh

PAC-12 BEAR MARKET

Lotsa L’s for the conference.

BYU 24 Arizona 16
Nevada 22 Cal 17
Kansas State 34 Stanford 7
Purdue 30 Oregon State 21
Utah State 26 Washington State 23

WELCOME TO BERT’S WORLD

After whupping up on Nebraska last week, the Illini paid UTSA a cool million dollars to come into town and dump them on their arses 37-30.

YOU HAD ONE JOB OF THE WEEK

If you believe in bad omens, here is one from Saturday. Somehow the Hoosiers misspelled ‘Indiana’ on the jersey of running back David Holloman for season opener vs. Iowa. It might have gone unnoticed since he did not play but the official IU Twitter account featured him in a Tweet. After several people trolled them on it, IU quickly deleted it. But not before one industrious young reporter got a screen grab.

The Hawkeyes easily dumped the Hoosiers 34-6. Overrated Michael Penix was a dreadful 14-31 for 156 yards and 3 INT. He also had -7 yards rushing.

BLOWN LEAD OF THE WEEK

Boise blew a 21 point lead at Center Florida to give Gus Malzahn his first win in gold and black, 36-31. That’s about all I am interested in saying about those jokers.

WORST NON-CALL OF THE WEEK

This hit came late with the game on the line. The refs stopped play to look at it. However, they were reviewing whether the receiver caught and fumbled the ball! They did not even review targeting. Let’s see... Defenseless runner, launching, led with the helmet, helmet-to-helmet earhole. Nah, that’s clean.

WORST JOKE DELIVERY OF THE WEEK

This gaffe was a play on an old quip credited to former So Cal and Tampa Bay coach John McKay, but it came out SOOOOO bad. Here is a better effort.

BEST DAD JOKE

THE TURNING POINT OF THE UNC-VA TECH GAME

FCS OVER FBS

Montana 13 Washington 7 - The 20th ranked Huskies scored on their opening possession and then snuggled up for a nice long nap. UW threw three picks and managed only 65 rushing yards. The Grizzlies gladly collected $675,000 for the trip to Seattle.
East Tennessee State 23 Vanderbilt 3 - The Buccaneers are 7-11 over the last two seasons and still took down this sorry-ass SEC sycophant. Former Bama kicker Joseph Bulovas, who could not hit the broad side of a barn from the inside while in T-Town, kicked a 53 yard field goal for this pathetic excuse of a college football program.
South Dakota State 42 Colorado State 23 - SDSU is a pretty good FCS team but still an embarrassing loss for CSU. The Mountain West team has not had success since Jim McElwain left. BAD NEWS: They play an SEC team this week. GOOD NEWS: It’s Vandy.
UC Davis 19 Tulsa 17 - UCD is coached by former Boise and Colorado head coach Dan Hawkins.

NAME OF THE WEEK

John Parker Romo - If John Parker Wilson and Tony Romo had a baby, he’d become the placekicker for Virginia Tech.

SAD

This is just pathetic. Kansas scored on their last drive against South Dakota (an FCS team who hasn’t had a winning season since 2017) to win 17-14. I supposed the freshmen student section figured they would never get another chance to storm the field for a KU win while in school.

STATS OF THE DAY

• Clemson failed to score in the 1st half for the first time since 2010 in a game versus NC State.
• Penn State’s 16-10 win over Wisconsin was James Franklin’s first road win against an AP Top-15 team in his career. He was 0-12 in such games entering Saturday.
• Michigan State’s Kenneth Walker gained 264 yards and four touchdowns on 23 carries in a 38-21 win over Northwestern.
• Without Googling, can you guess who behind Nick Saban is the second longest tenured coach at their current SEC school? Answer in the KOACHES KORNER section

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

Check out the sign on the left.

I honestly can’t believe they brought 86-year old Lee Corso back. Especially when you consider all the good reporters the 4-Letter Word has dumped in recent years. They could’ve easily used the excuse that “our insurance won’t cover it”, etc... I feel sorry for Herbstreit. He is like the grown son who is the only one who can tell what grandpa is saying.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

We received a really good suggestion from reader The keeper of Arky Lite. I’m adding FCS UT-Martin because they are coached by Ty Simpson’s dad. We can add more as the season unfolds.

• Arkansas State (1-0) - The Fightin’ Butch Joneses defeated FCS Central Arkansas 40-21. Former FSU QB James Blackman (16-26, 169 yds) started but could not find the end zone. He was replaced by former Bama QB Layne Hatcher who was a perfect 12 of 12 for 150 yards and 4 touchdowns. The competition gets a little tougher for ASU with Memphis coming to town.
• UT-Martin (0-1) - The Skyhawks lost to WKU 59-21. Samford comes a-callin’.

COUSINS

• Troy (1-0) - The Trojans battered poor HBCU Southern U 55-3. They host Liberty Saturday.
• South Alabama (1-0) - The Jags thumped Southern Miss 31-7. Former South Carolina and Utah QB / sixth year senior citizen Jake Bentley was 17-22 for 269 yards and 2 TD. Up next is a trip to Bowling Green.

THAT ANNOYING HALF STEP-BROTHER IN-LAW

• UAB (1-0) - The Dragons had Wednesday all to themselves and took 20 minutes to break a scoreless tie against FCS Jacksonville State. A blocked punt and a short field goal made it 10-0 just before the half. Oo-abb turned it on in the second half to win 31-0. Next up: reality @UGA.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

After one week, we have the first round of the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy coming up Saturday when Navy hosts Air Force.

• Army (1-0) - The Black Knights ran Georgia State ragged with 258 rushing yards among 12 different ball carriers en route to a 43-10 rout. WKU pays a visit.
• Navy (0-1) - Even with 337 yards rushing, the Midshipmen could not get anything going against Marshall. The Thundering Herd won 49-7.
• Air Force (1-0) - The Falcons took down Lafayette 35-14. No, Not UL-Lafayette. Lafayette College Leopards of the Patriot League.

COMMANDER-IN-CHUMPS TROPHY SCHEDULE

The Vols take a COMMANDING lead!

9/2/21 Bowling Green at Tennessee (1-0!)
9/11/21 South Alabama at Bowling Green
11/20/21 South Alabama at Tennessee

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Premature elimination: Kansas, Rutgers, Wake Forest, Syracuse, BC, Pitt, Arky, South Carolina, Missy State, Tennessee.

Definite elimination: Duke, Georgia Tech, Nebraska, Illinois, Cal, Oregon State, Arizona, Stanford, Washington State, Washington, ‘Ville.

Endangered: Clemson, FSU, Miami, UNC, West Virginia, Indiana, Minnie, Northwestern, Wisky, LSU.

Premature endangered: Sparty, Louisville, Texas Tech, Baylor, Virginia, Purdue, Kansas State, Colorado.

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

• ACC - It was an ugly loss for Clemson. It’s going to be tough to overcome the public’s perception. They will have to win out and do so big. UNC is probably toast. Miami still has an outside shot.
• Big 12 - Oklahoma and Iowa State both had close wins in games that should have been blowouts. Can another B1G team capitalize?
• Big Ten - anOSU had a meh win. Wisky and Indiana are probably done. Can PSU make a move or will they choke like they always do?
• PAC-12 - Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Oregon looked very unimpressive in a win. Southern Cal and perhaps UCLA could take advantage of other teams’ woes.
• SEC - Have you heard of this Alabama tam? They are pretty good. UGA is talking big but have yet to score an offensive touchdown. TAMU’s QB had interception issues. How long til LSU players start quitting?
• Indies - Notre Dame clears their first hurdle. BYU plays Utah on Saturday.
• Non-Power 5 - I can’t see a non-P5 in the playoff happening. But after watching the start to the season, we could see a lot of parity-drenched contenders fade away and open the door to weak-scheduled Cincinnati.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Death, Taxes, and Bama No. 1. The first CFP rankings drop on Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2021. The latest AP Poll has not been released as of post. Instead, here is the Billboard Top Ten from 1984:

1. “When Doves Cry” Prince
2. “What’s Love Got to Do with It” Tina Turner
3. “Say Say Say” Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
4. “Footloose” Kenny Loggins
5. “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” Phil Collins
6. “Jump” Van Halen
7. “Hello” Lionel Richie
8. “Owner of a Lonely Heart” Yes
9. “Ghostbusters” Ray Parker Jr.
10. “Karma Chameleon” Culture Club

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Auburn fans - and not just because they ran off her sweet baby doll husband. Aubies being Aubies think they have been declared National Champs and Bo Nix is the new Tom Brady for beating up on a MAC doormat who has won one game in the last two seasons (1-17).

HEISMAN HYPE

The Slim Reaper moves in.

Most years, the Heisman Trophy voting is basically a hype award. Often times voters fall in love with someone and refuse to REALLY look at what a player has accomplished. of course there are exceptions.

WHO WILL WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is not who deserves to win. It is who the slobbering press and other voters will callously crush on.

Something strange has happened with the talking heads. They all seem to be touting Bryce Young as the leader but they do so reluctantly. Yet, you don’t have to be a Gump to admit the Tide quarterback had the best opening weekend. And he was playing a ranked FBS team while almost everyone else faced a doormat or second tier opponent.

QB Spencer Rattler (RS-Soph, Oklahoma) 30-39, 304 YDS, 1 TD, INT - The Sooners QB is talented but he never seems to take over a game like some of his Okie predecessors could.

QB Bryce Young (Soph, Alabama) 27-38, 344 YDS, 4 TD - First start in Atlanta against a nationally ranked foe on national TV? No sweat.

QB D.J. Uiagalelei (Soph, Dabo Cult) 19-37, 178 YDS, 1 INT P6 - The Fansville Jinx is REAL! For those unfamiliar, Dr. Pepper featured DJU in one of their commercials. Last year there was a commercial with the face painter jinxing a kicker and getting thrown in the local jail for his crime. The Clemson QB was bullied all night by UGA, but great quarterback find a way to make a play that can turn a game. Ugie did not.

QB J.T. Daniels (RS-Jr, Georgia) 22-30, 135 YDS, 1 INT - Jake Fromm 2.0.

QB Kedon Slovis (Jr, So Cal) 24-36, 256 YDS, 2 TD - aka Sedon Klovis, still a dark horse.

NEWBIES

QB Jack Coan (RS-Sr, Notre Dame) 26-35, 366 YDS, 4 TD, 1 INT - Brace yourselves. As long as a Notre Dame quarterback that doesn’t absolutely suck exists in the world, there will be Northern sports types who slobber all over him.

QB Matt Corral ((RS-Jr, Ole Miss) 22-32 for 381 yards 1 TD - He is a longshot and probably missed a big opportunity to catch the voters’ eyes on Monday. Being the only football game of any kind on Labor Day night, a big performance might have lured in some susceptible idiots-with-laptops.

NOPE

QB Sam Howell (Jr, North Carolina) 17-32, 208 YDS, 1 TD, 3 INT - Well, this campaign is dead in the water. Howell looked spectacularly awful. He and the Heels will have to win out and look amazing doing so just for a hope of a trip to NYC.

QB D’Eriq King (Super-Sr, Miami-FL) 23-31, 178 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT, fumble - That performance is going to be tough to overcome.

RB Breece Hall (Jr, Iowa State) - Sparty’s Kenneth Walker might be taking the token running back spot.

EDGE Kayvon Thibodeaux (Jr, Oregon) - The token non-QB/RB didn’t really dominate against Fresno and left with a leg injury. He had only two solo tackles but one was a sack and a forced fumble. So basically, he made on play.

WHO SHOULD WIN

CLARIFICATION: This section is for who deserves to win it.

It is a long way til December, but let’s talk about Bryce Young. The sophomore is the first quarterback in Alabama history with four passing touchdowns in his starting debut. Young breaks the record previously shared by Mac Jones and Joe Namath. He also also has the most passing yards (344) in an Alabama starting debut. Wanna talk personality? Check out the above video of a 20-year old true sophomore in the spotlight. He is so well-spoken, intelligent, polite, and humble.

THE SICK REPORT

• UGA starting right guard Tate Ratledge will miss the rest of the 2021 season after injuring his foot in the first quarter against Clemson. He will require surgery to repair what has been described as a Lisfranc injury.
• Clemson safety Lannden Zanders is out for the year as well. He had two tackles versus UGA before injuring a shoulder.
• Oklahoma star WR Theo Wease will miss “the first half of the season” with the dreaded “lower-body injury”. Well, that narrows it down to 50%.
• Minnesota’s star RB Mohamed Ibrahim is out for season with an unspecified lower-leg injury.
• After scoring on a 76-yard touchdown pass against WMU, Michigan senior WR Ronnie Bell would befall a knee injury during a kick return and is now out for season.

DRAMA

• Last week, it was learned that the Big 12 would send out formal invitations to prospective schools “within the next 7-10 days”. However, word is that BYU, Houston, Cincinnati, and UCF are basically done deals. A vote is expected on Friday. The plan is for the quartet to join in 2023, conceivably before Okie and Texas leave, to create a 14-team conference. That would get the B12 to twelve teams for the first time since 2011. And all it took was their two best teams leaving the league. Well played.
• Former Auburn starting DL Tyrone Truesdell hit the transfer portal on August 11, enrolled at Florida August 30, and suited up and played last Saturday. This is the world we live in now. He is quickly reunited in Gainesville with fellow starting Aubie DL teammate Daquan Newkirk who transferred to UF in January.
• As far as I can tell, former Tide RB Kyle Edwards has not found a new home as of yet. He is one of many misguided undergrads who enter the QH and will find themselves out of luck this fall. If I had to guess, he probably lands at a juco.

KOACHES KORNER

• Trivia answer from above: Mark Stoops has begun his ninth season at Kentucky.
• Ed Orgeron’s buyout is $27 MEEELLION dollars.
• Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin got the sicky-sicks even though some Walgreens cashier stuck a needle in his arm. He did not accompany the Rebs to Atlanta for their win over Louisville.
• Georgia’s head trainer Ron Courson also got a positive and is also a victim of the mysterious “breakthrough case”.
• Proving you can’t go home again, UConn is finally kicking Randy Edsall to the curb after his Huskies lost to Holy Cross. His first tenure with the team from 1999 to 2010 produced a 74-30 record including two shared Big East titles. After a failed stint with Maryland (22–34, 10–24), he returned to Storrs, CT but could not rekindle the magic (6-32, 0-24).
• HOT SEAT: David Cutcliffe (Duke), Jonathan Smith (Oregon State), Scott Frost (Nebraska), Dabo disciple Jeff Scott (South Florida), Dana Holgorsen (Houston), Geoff Collins (Georgia Tech).

TEEVEE

Be forewarned: This coming Saturday is September 11, 2021, which just happens to be the twentieth anniversary of 9/11. Brace yourself for jock sniffing media types attempting to be Walter Cronkite for a moment. Chris Fowler, I’m looking your way. We should honor the brave and the innocent of that tragic event but just don’t milk it, ESPN. Is that too much to ask? Yeah, probably so...

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big Norfolk State-Wake Forest showdown, you can find the details here.)

Friday, September 10

Kansas at Coastal Carolina 6:30/7:30 ESPN2 - I imagine KU thought this would be a layup win when they arranged it in 2017.
North Carolina A&T at Duke 7pm/8pm ACCN - Oh, hail no.
North Dakota at Utah State 8pm/9pm CBSSN - For junkies only.
UTEP at Boise 8:30/9:30 FS1 - For smurfies only.

Saturday, September 11

GAMES OF THE WEEK

These two matchups could be elimination games, depending on the scores.

1. Oregon at Ohio State 11am/noon FOX - Kicking off at 9am Oregon time? Gee, I wonder who that benefits.
2. Iowa at Iowa State 3:30/4:30 ABC - The Cy-Hawk Trophy is on the line. College GameDay will be on site.

SEC

Alabama State at Auburn 11am/noon SECN - ANOTHER NASHUNAL CHAMPSHIP!
South Carolina at East Carolina 11am/noon ESPN2
Pitt at Tennessee 11am/noon ESPN - I am so glad that backstabber FFPF is no longer AD at UT for the “Johnny Majors Bowl” (Majors coached these two teams for many years). If you don’t know the story, Fulmer full-on Macbeth’d his mentor and took his job. Sadly, Majors died last June of old age.
Florida at South Florida Noon/1pm ABC
UAB at #5 Georgia 2:30/3:30 ESPN2 - See if you can maybe score a touchdown this week, UGA.
Texas A&M at Colorado 2:30/3:30 FOX - Played at Mile High, Denver, CO
Texas at Arkansas 6pm/7pm ESPN - Played at JerryWorld, TX
NC State at Mississippi State 6pm/7pm ESPN2
Missouri at Kentucky 6:30/7:30 SECN
Austin Peay at Ole Miss 6:30/7:30 SECN+
McNeese State at LSU 7pm/8pm SECN+ - Coach O’s son Cody Orgeron is starting QB for McNeese. I wonder how many blitzes O will call.

OTHERS ON SATURDAY

There are A LOT of bad games in Week 2. Here are the best if that tells you anything.

Buffalo at Nebraska 2:30/3:30 BTN - It’s just schadenfreude at this point.
Air Force at Navy 2:30/3:30 CBS
Appalachian State at Miami-F.L.A. 6pm/7pm ESPN2 or ESPNU - No break for the ‘Canes.
Memphis at Arkansas State 6pm/7pm ESPN+
Washington at Michigan 7pm/8pm ABC - This one has lost some sheen.

INSOMNIACS ONLY

Vanderbilt at Colorado State 9pm/10pm CBSSN - You also have to be a sadomasochistic.
Utah at BYU 10:15 PM ESPN - The Holy War!
Stanford at Southern Cal 9:30/10:30 FOX
Hawaii at Oregon State 10pm/11pm FS1 - Aloha....

SABAN vs. POP and BEAR

It’s amazing to think Nick Saban had 80 wins over ranked teams. Of the 130 FBS head coaches, 92 of them have less CAREER wins at any level of college football than 80. This number includes such names as Dave Doeren (78 Northern Illinois, NC State), Bryan Harsin (76 Arkansas State, Boise, Auburn), Paul Chryst (75 Pitt, Wisconsin), Greg Schiano (71 Rutgers), Gus Malzahn (68 Arkansas State, Auburn, UCF), Dana Holgorsen (68 West Virginia, Houston), Lane Kiffin (66 Tennessee, So Cal, FAU, Ole Miss), Ed Orgeron (61 Ole Miss, So Cal, LSU), Willie Taggart (61 WKU, South Florida, Oregon, FSU, FAU), Chip Kelly (57 Oregon, UCLA), Jim McElwain (55 Colorado State, Florida, Central Michigan), Kirby Smart (52 Georgia), Mario Cristobal (52 FIU, Oregon), Mark Stoops (49 Kentucky), Steve Sarkisian (47 Washington, So Cal, Texas), Lincoln Riley (45 Oklahoma), Clay Helton (45 So Cal), Scott Frost (31 Center Florida, Nebraska) among others.

#ALABAMA

Your LaDick fix.

• It’s ancient news by now but ICYMI, Nick Saban said LB Christopher Allen has a foot fracture that will require surgery, and is likely out for the year. Maybe he’ll make it back for the kneel down in the National Championship, a la LaDick.
• DB Brian Branch was banged up but should be a go for Mercer.
• ICYMI, the starting OL against Miami was left to right: Neal, Cohen, Dalcourt, Ekiyor, Owens. Kendall Randolph was a blocking tight end and technically started the game. He played in 21 snaps. It does not appear that lineup will change this week.
• Bryce Young’s 94-yard TD to Jameson Williams is tied for the second-longest scoring pass in school history. It ties Mac Jones to Jaylen Waddle from 2018 and trails only a 99-yard TD from AJ McCarron to Amari Cooper in 2013.

Boom.

GAME 2: Saturday, September 11, 2021

Mercer Bears (1-0) at Alabama Crimson Tide (1-0)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 3:00pm CT/4:00pm ET, SECN

• I am so sorry.
• Mercer is a decent-to-meh FCS team. They were 5-3 during the spring season that nobody watched. The Bears won their first game of the fall 69-0 against something called Point University which, like Auburn, is in west Georgia.
• Alabama is back to wearing the crimson jerseys and white pants in their first home game of their 127th season.
• Bring sunblock. The forecast for T-town is sunny with a high of 88°. Note that BDS will have water and breeze stations (PDF). They will also have Water Monsters (PDF) featuring “150-gallon tanks of cold filtered water... Fans are permitted to bring empty, non-glass, bottles/cups inside to fill up at the various water stations.”
• Remember that ticketing and parking has gone mobile-only.
• Announcers: No announcement as of post.
• Eli Gold on Alabama Radio.
• It might surprise you to know that the Crimson Tide has played Mercer before - and not just 2017. Alabama is 3-0 against the Bears and have shut them out all three times. In 1939 and 1940, they won by identical scores of 20-0. In 2017, it was a more Bama-esque score of 56-0.
• The no odds have been made available on this game.