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Jumbo Package: Nick Saban ass-chewings are in midseason form

“Forget about Mercer, aight. It’s about your team goals”

NCAA Football: Alabama at Miami Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

There’s not really much to write about Mercer, is there? The definition of a paycheck slaughter if ever there were one. Alabama’s walk-ons could beat that team by 35 points and not break much of a sweat doing it.

And given yesterday’s practice intensity, apparently the players know that as well. But don’t tell Nick Saban that.

His remarks following yesterday’s session were...shall we say, animated?

Among some of the choice gems was this jab at player intensity:

“Then we come out Monday not ready to practice, I guess because of respect we have for the opponent,” Saban said with a touch of sarcasm while winding up for the main message. “I don’t really know that or maybe it’s what they read on social media or in the media or whatever after one half of a game this season.

Full rat poison corrective is right here.

You can forgive my skepticism about the wisdom of playing this particular type of FCS team to begin with at all. The last time ‘Bama faced the Bears, Mercer was in a standard option spread. This time around, they’ve moved the honest-to-god Wishbone.

And you know what that means? Cuts, chops, diving at the knees. Future insurance salesmen injuring prospective NFL talent.

Seriously, don’t play a single starter in this turd bucket of a game. Let the guys buried on the depth chart have their shot. The last thing Alabama can afford is another injury, and especially to the unwitting legs of someone like Will Anderson.

I hate it. Absolutely despise it. But, anyway, hold your breath for a running clock, some learning opportunities, and especially no injuries. I swear to God, I would take a loss to Mercer over another critical season-ending injury. The last thing the Tide needs is another defender joining Chris Allen on the sideline for the season.

For those that don’t know the intricacies of the triple option wishbone attack, start with this great site beginners. This is a very good read for those wanting to get into the Xs and Os of it.

What does the rest of the SEC have to offer this weekend? “Mostly Cupcakes”.

Although, JT Daniels is rumored to be hurt and may not play against a UAB defense that is salty and well-traveled. It’s not like that offense could afford to lose any “talent” as it was either. Upset alert? Probably not. But if you’ve not wagered on UGA -26, you may want to lay off of it.

Two SEC teams are playing host to ACC squads...and I think the Cracker Barrel Conference gets gut-punched by Clemson’s playmates; NC State at Mississippi State, and in the Johnny Majors Bowl, Pitt travels to the face the Vawls.

But overall, it’s a good weekend to watch other conferences. Trust me: They do exist.

After a weekend of fairly bad quarterback play, one guy stood out as having the best week of the bunch — in his first start, and against a Top 15 team no less.

Meet Bryce Young, your Davey O’Brien QB of the Week:

Young set an Alabama record for passing yards and touchdowns in a debut. He completed 27 passes for 344 yards and four touchdowns en route to dominating the No. 14 team in the nation.

He found John Metchie for a 37-yard touchdown, Cameron Latu for a nine-yard and 25-yard score and he completed the second longest touchdown in school history on a 94-yard touchdown pass to Jameson Williams.

To that honor, Young was also named the SEC Player of the Week, while Will Reichard was your SEC Special Teams Player of the Week.

Machine don’t stop.

Hashtag Instant Karma

In case you missed it, last week Washington coach Jimmy Lake defended his Huskies playing FCS Montana. The two had met off and on over the last century, as the Huskies and Grizzlies both matured into on-again / off-again powerhouses, each winning several national titles, and each hosting one of the more electric atmospheres in their respective divisions:

“I think there’s always going to be a place for this, somewhere, whether it’s us or in another conference,” Lake said, speaking in general to regional and FBS vs. FCS contests as the ACC, Big Ten and PAC-12 seek to formalize their future ‘Alliance.’ “I know the SEC, they love to play Northwestern Directional State. Those guys play two of them per year but nobody talks about that.

And then what happened? The Grizz waltzed into Seattle, and for the first time in the 100 year series history, knocked off the No. 23 U Dub, 13-7.

Much mirth was to be had. And much crow was to be consumed:

The Huskies now embark on the 4,600-mile roundtrip against the Wolverines with their head coach apologizing to fans for the team’s “unacceptable” loss.

“It was very unfortunate. Starts with me first. Starts with me first,” he said. “We’ve got to be better prepared, we’ve got to have a better plan. And we did not execute a good plan. It all starts with the coaching first. And it starts with me. …

“It’s unacceptable and it should not have happened. We did not expect that result at all. I think what we more expected was what happened on that first drive. They made some adjustments, our adjustments weren’t as sound as the adjustments they made. We didn’t play … we did not respond the way we should.”

East Popcorn State strikes back, y’all.

How many active players does Alabama have in the NFL?

In a humblebrag of the first order, Nick Saban said it’s so many that he can’t reach out to all of them individually before their season starts.

Flex on these hoes, Nick.

This link right here has everything Coach Saban said during the final presser yesterday.

As usual, Potter at 247 does the Lord’s work for us:

On importance of depth at outside linebacker...

“Based on how we play the game on defense, it’s really important because that’s where our pass rushers come from. That’s where our athletic guys come from to play defensive end and nickel — we call it nickel J sometimes — so it’s really, really important. Some of those guys have developed nicely, some of those guys continue to develop and then we were happy to be able to recruit the guys we recruited this year as well and obviously when you lose a player the quality of Chris Allen, depth at the position becomes even more important.”

Finally, about the only interesting thing regarding Mercer is that their placekicker took one for the team, intentionally missing his XPA so that the Bears could achieve that most magical of all scores

The final of that game? 69-0


That’s about it for a sleepy Jumbo Package. I hate it when my Jumbo Package is girthy but sleepy. Football resumes tonight. We’ll have another preview of Mercer for you later. And also later, when I get back from the doctor, we’ll have Giving Away Money for you as well.

Take care. Roll Tide